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In dating, like in friendship, one cannot know another person after just meeting them; however, certain things may stand out, minimizing or even sweeping one's interest. This may happen more intuitively, yet by trying to name red flags in dating, one gets the opportunity to grow more conscious of what they (do not) value in another person or people in general and maybe even adjust their preferences.

On the other hand, reading about major flags in dating as listed by men answering one Redditor’s question: “Men, what is a deal-breaker for you in modern dating?” one may compare them to one’s own deal-breakers, get a clue of what other people are (not) looking for in dating and maybe find some things to look out for.

More info: Reddit

#1

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Any kind of ultimatum, like: "It's me or your cats/friends/hobbies." They were here before you, and they will be here after you.

scoyne15 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

#2

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating If my date is rude to anyone in the service industry, there won't be another date. That s**t tells me exactly who you are.

Stack_of_HighSociety , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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Hippopotamuses
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“I don’t trust anyone who’s nice to me but rude to the waiter. Because they would treat me the same way if I were in that position.” - Muhammad Ali

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#3

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating General punctuality, though this is a state with friends too.

If you're going to be late, let me know when you know. If you live 30 minutes away and text me you are leaving 5 minutes before we are due to meet, you knew you were going to be late 25 minutes ago.

It's a small thing but I've known people like that and I've waited in the cold enough.

TabularConferta , Ono Kosuki Report

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Hippopotamuses
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To me, lack of punctuality means lack of respect. I'm had two relationships and several friendships hit the the rocks because of this. It's my biggest peeve.

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#4

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Someone who brings nothing to the table except deigning to allow me the opportunity to treat her like a queen.

Sorry, I'd rather stay single than deal with that s**t...

anon_e_mous9669 , Fati m Report

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#5

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Lack of empathy/ compassion

EmperorKira , cottonbro studio Report

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tw 72
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People think a person can "learn" to be compassionate. No, no they can't. The selfishness is too deep.

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#6

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Dishonesty is my main one. If you can't trust them, then there's no reason to even date them because you're always going to worry about what they're doing when they're not with you.

uh_big_tidd_eeho , cottonbro studio Report

#7

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating If she's an influencer or has plans to become an influencer.

EshoWarCry , Ivan Samkov Report

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Hippopotamuses
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my world, influencer isn't a real thing. So any relationship would be very..... entertaining.

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#8

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Having a sugar baby or entitled mentality. Or if I see the line " can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve the best".

letslytherin , EVG Kowalievska Report

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Hippopotamuses
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love the irony of the woman in the picture leaning up against a Lada. She's likely okay with a scuralose daddy.

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#9

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Social media. I don't want every waking moment of my relationship plastered on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat. I dated one girl for a year who didn't have a smartphone, didn't have internet at her house, and didn't even own a TV. It was surprisingly nice. Honest. When we spent time together, we spent our time together.

7evenCircles , Plann Report

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#10

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating For me, when I was dating, it was women who didn't know how to cook or clean. That may seem a bit misogynistic, but I am someone who cooks and cleans and can keep a house. The number of people I would go on dates with that didn't have those skills was a bit baffling to me. How do you feed yourself? Is it takeout every night? I wouldn't expect a potential partner to be unable to do household things that I do, nor one that was unwilling to share the burden of keeping a place together.

monspubisremor , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

#11

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Screen addiction is a turn off.

pythonwarg , Anna Shvets Report

#12

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating I have had a few women I met online start talking about how supportive I can be for their children before I even met them. Like if you just shopping for a replacement for their non-existant Dad I am out.

ToastyMcBread , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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Rocky Wheelwright
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is very common. A woman looking for someone to financially support her and her children.

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#13

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Inability to say sorry or own up to their mistakes.

Flakyness.

Being overly dramatic and loud.

SmittyBot9000 , Craig Adderley Report

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Bobby
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate not owning your mistakes. I've told my kids plenty of times if there is a "but" in your apology then to me it isn't genuine. Everything after the but is saying why it's not really got fault

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#14

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating This sounds dumb, but if she's not into me, I'm not interested. If she plays hard to get, I'm done. I'm not playing the games anymore. You'd be surprised how often a women has SAID she was into me, but won't do anything at all to act like she is.

Azurealy , cottonbro studio Report

#15

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Very religious. Poly (just not for me). Lack of communication.

pkwilli , Ben White Report

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DaPandaMan
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I say they can be religious but if it’s basically brainwashing them then hard no.

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#16

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Someone with no hobbies or no passion for anything at all

arathci18 , Karolina Grabowska Report

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Michael Largey
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They may have hobbies and passions they don't want you to know about. (And chances are neither do you).

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#17

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Honestly, anything to the effect of "men are trash" or "I hate that I'm attracted to men" in their dating profile.

Like, I get it. A lot of women have had a lot of really bad experiences with men. And at the same time, I'm not here to fix anyone and I really hate being treated like "one of the good ones." If you really hate men to the extent that you need to declare it on your dating profile, you should probably be working that out with a therapist.

MonitorMoniker , Tim Mossholder Report

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Hippopotamuses
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stating they hate men on their (presumably hetro) dating profile. Really?

Lara Verne
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a lot of guys who hate women and still want to date them, or have sex with them. I suppose that it works both ways.

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Rens
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My abusive narcissistic ex made my lif hell, but I never let what he did to me and how he treated me contaminate my attitude towards men.

Sean Sean
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unpopular opinion here, but if a woman constantly has bad experiences with men I'd question her decision-making skills rather than assume all men are just trash.

Richienotsorich
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you keep catching the same poor quality fish, maybe your bait isn't good enough?!

deanna woods
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a feminist, but I don't hate men. I just find them a little bit weird.

Danish Susanne
Community Member
10 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They must be pretty stupid to put something like that into their dating profile. Reason enough to stay clear of them.

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#18

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Inability to acknowledge being wrong. Being able to do that and grow with me as an individual was literally one of the biggest things that led to me falling in love with my current gf. I will never again EVER be in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t have that quality because seeing how much better this relationship has been than any of my previous, I just can’t ever go back.

Nalpha , Vera Arsic Report

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Chez2202
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree with the comment about the inability to acknowledge being wrong. What I don’t get is that they then say that being able to grow with them as an individual led them to falling in love with their current girlfriend but then talk about their future relationships. The inability to be wrong may be a sticking point for OP but the fact that they still see no future with the woman they claim to love should be a big red flag for her.

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#19

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Flakyness. If they keep canceling plans, I'm out.

bluegiant85 , cottonbro studio Report

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Hippopotamuses
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If they keep cancelling plans, the next question is, what's actually going on that you don't know about?

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#20

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Height preferences on dating profiles/bios. It's just rude. I cant help being 5 7, I have been this height for ages. I get preferences and stuff, but seeing 'if you're under 6 foot don't bother' on the reg is a bit of a downer.

Also, horses. I went out with a horse-y girl, and it was a car crash, I don't blame the actual horses, but horses make girls get a bit weird. If you know you know.

MobyMarlboro , Pixabay Report

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Donald
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad I'm not the only one who noticed equestrians are an odd lot.

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#21

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Anything along the lines of “being a boss babe” and “you better keep up with me”

Ugh

PCLoadLetter84 , Nicolas Postiglioni Report

#22

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Lack of communication skills! I need engaging conversation! I don't want to talk to a wall😅

Jlmorgan86 , cottonbro studio Report

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Erca
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Communication or conversation? There should be comment tools or links for words like this so each person can specifically define how they interpret it. This person says communication is conversation and that's fair. Some see it as psychic abilities. Some say it's knowing when to speak... not sure the latter applies to me, but you get the point. Words like "communication" and "drama" are too vague.

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#23

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating If she’d leave me for behaving like her.

That covers most of them.

hshsgdve , Timur Weber Report

#24

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating If she’s rude or mean.

Bobpaulson1999 , Israelzin Oliveira Report

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JB
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had an interesting conversation with a fellow British expat the other day. We both acknowledged that North Americans are often baffled by our tendency to be “rude” to people we like but flawlessly polite to those we don’t. So, if you are from North America and your prospective squeeze is a Brit, don’t assume that them calling you a “bat faced twit” is anything other than an endearment.

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#25

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Not understanding or working toward improving their own mental health.

Potential_Departure6 , Pixabay Report

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Hippopotamuses
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Assuming that they're in a position to acknowledge, and work on, their problems.

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#26

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating I like to be a gentleman, but I want that to be something that is appreciated, not expected or demanded

Th3_S3n4t3 , cottonbro studio Report

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Lori Simpson
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um, what exactly does OP qualify as the traits of a gentleman? I've raised two young men to be gentleman and it's absolutely expected.

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#27

Not having any goals other than having fun. My ex just lived to "go out" every night with her friends. No future there, and an unhealthy relationship with alcohol (and her ex boyfriend after a few drinks one night). That was a clusterf**k of chaos that I'm glad to be free from.

pdxsaucy Report

#28

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Smoking and lack of accountability and inability to learn from mistakes.

Unstoppable1994 , Kaboompics .com Report

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Anyone-for-tea?
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s always gutting when you think you’ve found a good match but then you see they’re a smoker.

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#29

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Inconsistent communication style, just feels like I’m being strung along. Also don’t date single-mothers, I’m sure they’re nice and the kids are great but I’m just not in a place in my life where I’m comfortable with that kind of situation.

sexisdivine , Alan Quirvan Report

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Hippopotamuses
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't unpick what inconsistent communication style means. But on the subject of single mothers. If the person I'm in love with has kids, so be it. They're part of the package.

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#30

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Wanting to continue living as though they're single but still have the emotional fulfillment of a relationship.

TheRealRickSorkin , cottonbro studio Report

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CF
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait. What is wrong with wanting to have emotional fulfillment and still live single? In my middle age life, I'd love to meet "that person" that I enjoy so much that I want to be with them all the time. If I do, there are many reasons I will likely want to remain living single. Though for me, that simply means living alone and making my own life decisions (no one will EVER again tell me I can't foster this or that cat, or bring home a sick cat patient for overnight critical care, or even adopt all those cats if I want to. Unless that person lives with me. And that won't be happening). Have just realized OP probably is talking about sex, etc, but I've already typed this so I'm posting it anyway. 😁

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#31

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Distant personality, that s**t can take a lot out of me

Jerney_to_Nirvana , Keira Burton Report

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Michael Largey
Community Member
11 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, but don't mistake introverted for distant. And while we're on the subject, people can have a right to have their distances respected.

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#32

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Doomerism. if you unironically say "my retirement plan is death, spend it today" you're too mixed up for me.

sporks_and_forks , Engin Akyurt Report

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Hippopotamuses
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Doomerism? This is a new one on me. I think we used to call it cynicism.

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#33

Having an onlyfans

manowar09 Report

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Sean Sean
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think having an Onlyfan's account is a bad thing, since it can be tough to make decent money these days, and it's only getting more expensive. I'd say it depends on "what" she's doing in those videos that might be the deal-breaker.

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#34

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating Right now, I'd say a kid. Nothing against having them and I'd like some of my own some day, I'm just not ready to be a step-dad

JackJackensworth , Tuan PM Report

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Hey!
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is not for everyone but sometimes people don't know right away that the other persona has a kid or two.

#35

There are increasing numbers of women who are not looking to get married, ever, and/or are looking for multiple partners in an "ethically non monogamous" arrangement. That's not for me.

Anonymous Report

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#36

30 Men Shared What Behaviors Make Them Lose Interest When Dating If she eats her peas one at a time

02K30C1 , Avyansh Mittal Report