A couple’s wedding day is one of the most exciting days of their lives. Finally, they each get to become officially bonded to their best friend, and their two families merge into one at the joyous celebration. It is completely normal for a bride and groom to make sure every detail of their day is perfect, from the flowers to the band to the suits and dresses to the food. Recently, however, one bride even wanted to keep her guests on a tight leash, particularly her father.

The father in question, LargeSeat3093 on Reddit, explained online how his daughter banned his husband and son from attending the wedding, so he ended up refusing to pay for the event. This caused some drama among the family members, so the father reached out to the Am I the [Jerk]? subreddit to hear a few outside opinions on his decision. Below, you can read the dad’s full explanation, as well as some of the responses the story has received, and decide for yourself whether he should have funded the wedding or not. Let us know what you about this situation in the comments, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda piece featuring wedding drama, check out this story next. 

Recently, one father reached out online asking if he was wrong for refusing to fund his daughter’s wedding after she banned his husband and son from attending

Image credits: Aaron Tait (not the actual photo)

He explained that his relationship with his daughter has always been great, but she did not want his “lifestyle” to offend her conservative in-laws

Image credits: Peggy_Marco (not the actual photo)

The bride ended up asking her father-in-law to walk her down the aisle, and her dad decided not to attend

While it is understandable that this bride wanted to get off on the right foot with her in-laws, that is no reason to completely disregard the feelings of her father and his husband. If the groom’s parents would be so bothered by a loving parent and his husband enjoying a wedding and celebrating the happy couple, it sounds like more of a problem for them. It’s unfortunate that their prejudices were allowed to stop anyone else from enjoying the occasion. 

Conflicts between in-laws are relatively common, so I’m sure the bride was hyper aware of appeasing them. As children often find themselves in arguments with their parents, husbands and wives similarly experience friction with their in-laws over small things as well. They all want the best for their child or spouse, but it can be hard to find common ground. Whether there are fundamental ideological differences or small quarrels about celebrating holiday traditions, it can be difficult to navigate sharing your partner with their parents. According to Blythe Copeland for Martha Stewart, the most common issues between in-laws are about how a couple spends their money, political views, how to raise the grandchildren, and how much time the couple spends with each side of the family. When it comes to eliminating or preventing conflicts, family therapist Jennifer Uhrlass told Martha Stewart, “Building up a deeper understanding of [your in-laws’] relationship dynamics might help you to view the situation with more empathy and create a more constructive environment moving forward.” The best thing to do is react calmly and try to diffuse the situation.

Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)

Ironically, in trying to prevent any family disputes on her husband’s side, this bride managed to create new friction on her own side of the family. While it is great to work towards having a solid relationship with your spouse’s family, there is never any excuse for discriminating against your own father and making him feel like an exile at your wedding. At the end of the day, a wedding day is about two people, and as the bride, she had the authority to invite her father’s family regardless of what her in-laws might have thought. We would love to hear your opinion on this situation in the comments below; would you have paid for the wedding or skipped the occasion altogether?  

Readers have responded with sympathy for the father, agreeing that homophobia should never be enabled

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