"He reminded me it's OUR BEDROOM, not just mine" Exactly, so she should get a say as to who sleeps in it.

NTA! Hubby needs to decide whether he wants a wife or to continue being a Mommy's Boy! MIL needs to back off. Just because her wittle boys lives there doesn't mean she is in control. She needs to respect boundaries!

Divorce. Get out of that family.

Sorry MIL theres a wet spot from this morning and i only chamge the sheets on the weekend ^__^ also u want a lock? Stay at home.

Good on the OP for standing her ground. The MIL should have slept in the guest room, period. It's funny and a shame how other people (like the husband and the other berating in-laws) can make you rethink your perfectly reasonable and common sense position.

F**k. Him and his mother

NTA. Shoot me if you must, but your husband is a momma's boy and this has the stink of a power play all over it. I hope you don't have kids yet because I foresee a lot of manipulative douchebaggery from that c*nt MIL of yours. It sounds extreme but if it was me, he's getting served divorce papers. He can go ahead and marry his mom.

An awkward and petty but simple solution: your husband is right, it is his room, so agree to share the room with your MIL (no you won't get much sleep, but you will get the point across) while your hubby sleeps in the guest room. After all, he is free to give up his spot in that room, what he can't do is order you to give up yours

That is some strange behavior. Her husband has never learned boundaries with his mother.

Mommas boy. No. If you had ever stayed the night at their house and was offered their master bedroom to sleep in they would be weird too. Guest rooms are for guests. Unexpected visitors are guests. You haven't changed the sheets or cleaned or vacuumed and your bedroom is your oasis and mil wants to most likely snoop. It's gag reflexing me to consider staying in someone's used bed even for a night that wasn't prepped ahead of time. Divorce please. He's saying that you are breaking up his family then let him have them. Seriously. Gtfo of that mess.

Wow. There are two issues here. The main one is power. She doesn't like the power you have/had over her son, and wants to get her power back. The second is that she wanted to snoop. Insisting on having your room where she can lock the door? Um. Sure. MIL isn't the issue anymore. Your husband is. If he isn't going to grow up, you're going to be married to mama's baby for the rest of your life. Run now, and run quickly, and whatever you do, don't have children with this overgrown child.

My husband invited his mom to stay for two weeks. She literally reorganizing my whole house. Threw out half my stuff. Her excuse if it wasn't a mess I wouldn't have to do it. It wasn't a mess it was organized for my OCD. I left to stay somewhere else. The house is still all messed up as is our relationship.

This is one of those decision where both need to be ok with it or it does not happen.

Sometimes I wonder why people get married. This would be one of those instances.

Just get a divorce. MILs are there for your whole marriage.

Analogy: would I have let someone sleep in my hospital bed during my first treatment for childhood brain cancer, from August-October 2013, and which lasted for 6 weeks?

proud of you for standing your ground.

She wanted to go through your stuff and find your lingerie and bedroom toys. At the very least, it was a power play. I don’t think you should have mentioned the hotel though. That does make it sound kinda witchy but she was still wrong.

Um....NTA . Your husband and MIL have some serious issues going on here that goes beyond her wanting to stay in your room.

Is she a klepto or just entitled? And why didn't sonny boy think it was weird for mommie dearest to demand their room?

Really good boundary setting in this one. OP gave clear options and even offered to book a hotel. It was the MIL's choice to stay at the hotel. Really strange why the husband went to stay in his own room at the hotel. Even if he was upset, there was a guest room available. He also has really poor boundaries with his mother. Lastly, unexpected visits shouldn't be a thing anymore. Everyone carries a phone on them that can text. Call or text first every time. Even if they're family.

Divorce time. Gotta throw the whole-ass "man" out.

People who show up uninvited are not guests. They are inconveniences at best and intruders at worst. Your MIL is very clearly the latter. Others are saying your husband is a momma's boy! Seems more like he is momma's b*tch. I see nothing but divorce in your future and the sooner the better. If you guys are not currently using some form of birth control, you need to start. You don't want kids in that situation. I would also say you need to tell your husband there will be no more intimacy of any kind until he acknowledges that both he and his mom were wrong, he apologizes to you and confronts his family on your behalf, none of which I believe will happen, so divorce it is...

only one answer... divorce... get rid of that a$$hole. MIL will manipulate your marriage and he will follow her and not you. Ditch him while you still have time.

Anyone else think the writer of the article would be better off presenting the subject without their added opinion? I couldn't read more than 8 words without scrolling passed to continue the original post.

I'm torn between whether I would do as OP did, which was perfectly within her rights, (NTA), or maliciously complying. When snoopy MIL started opening drawers, she would be greeted with googly eyes on my "special friend", and a big note saying, "Is this what you were looking for?". Seriously, though, if he doesn't want to cut the umbilical cord, and doesn't agree to counseling, then get this future train wreck of a marriage annulled. That family will steal your soul and make you think it was your fault. I got lucky in that my late MIL was a lovely person, but several of my friends were not so fortunate. The lack of respect just gets worse.

The MIL was wrong on EVERY level…hats off to the wife for standing her ground. Her husband will get over it. It was totally RUDE for the MIL to pop in.

Do you guys think she's gonna stay with that entitled man baby of hers no offense but that's a huge deal breaker she needs to divorce ASAP before it escalates & the "MIL" is completely disrespectful, she'll continue because the "Husband" doesn't have enough balls to stop her nasty behavior or stick up for his wife. I commend the Wife who stood her ground with both never back down to people like that.

Why the heck would you want to sleep where your son's sperm is like splattered all over. Eeeick.

Ok no. This kind of mother/son behavior is some real GoT s**t. Just gross, immature, narcissistic, ew. Like, I have to distract myself anytime I sleep at another person's house even in their guest bedroom, and would downright REFUSE if they offered THEIR bed. Just *shivers* no.

This is just so EWWWW. Why would she want to sleep in the bed her son and wife get jiggy in? SHe's just trying to cause problems and your husband is such a sucker and push over for his mom to ruin his own marriage. GL with this coward of a man

How many frigging baby-men are there, for heaven's sake?! If the man can't cut the umbilical cord, then don't marry him ---- or divorce him if you did. Wife could've not made an issue, but I've seen how that ends. Next, the MIL moves in...

I dont get husbands/wives who allows their parents or family come in and be disrespectful to their spouse. My ex MIL was like this and I hated every time she visited. Plus she wasnt even invited, and the husband leaving also is going to make the mother think she was in the right for how she behaved. The whole its our room, yes so if she didnt want to give up her room he should of respected that.

I don't even need to read this. Poster is NTA. Married couples bedroom is not up for grabs. I wouldn't even walk in to my adult children's bedroom. It's private.

If she is a guest, unexpected at that, she has no right to demand. Good move w/ hotel stay. As for the husband, he could have taken his mother to the hotel, smoothen the ruffled feathers, and then went back to his wife. Since he didn't do that, it means the wife is up for bigger battles with the family. Her husband is a mama's boy and needs to grow up.

I know there are some cultures where it very much is a thing that guests, especially "important" guests, like family matriarchs, are offered the best bed and best room. If husband and MIL belong to such a culture, I can imagine this misunderstanding being a major point of contention and considered massively insulting/ disrespectful. If they are not part of such a culture (and it would be up to them to inform the wife that they are and work things out, not simply expect her to know and comply) The only other thing I could see is if the guest room is not a full guest room, meaning it doesn't have a bed, or at least not a real bed (I found it weird that the couch and air mattresses would even be mentioned if they had a full guest room with a bed) and the older woman refused to sleep on a pull out or something due to "health" i.e. comfort, reasons, like a bad back. Barring those scenarios, I would say MIL was being selfish and wanted to go through your stuff.

If she wants to sleeo in your bed and you have a guest bed AND she needs to lock the door id say the only way she gets to sleep in your room is to crawl in with you. Something is up. And why did she pop by unexpected to stay the night when she doesn't live far away? Something is up

why would anyone allow any guest to take over the master bedroom, what the hell? i don't care if it's pope francis, my bedroom is my bedroom and you can't have it!