Dad Grounds Daughter For 2 Years After She Ruins His Engagement, Gets A Reality Check
Getting remarried while having kids is often a complicated ordeal, as one has to balance the needs of the burgeoning relationship with the needs and wants of the kids. Pulling it off seems like no small miracle.
A dad turned to the internet for advice after his teenage daughter destroyed her stepmom’s wedding dress in a successful attempt to get the entire thing called off. He settled on grounding her for an eye-wateringly long two years, until she turned eighteen. Netizens were divided on the entire story.
Sometimes kid’s can’t accept that their parent has a new partner
Image credits: Tara Winstead / pexels (not the actual photo)
A man had his entire relationship ruined when his daughter ripped up his would-be-bride’s dress
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image source: ThrowraSadLonely
These situations require a delicate approach, which didn’t end up happening
Imagre credits: Karolina Grabowska / pexels (not the actual photo)
This is the sort of mess that one wouldn’t want to touch with a seven meter (22.9 foot) poll. The horrible passing of the wife and mother, the rapid move to a new woman, the overlooking of the daughters’ needs all culminating in this fiasco seems like a story that is just too much to handle. So it’s important to work through item by item.
First and foremost, the husband and father it seems really has moved on from his first wife. On the face of it, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, grief is a hard thing to overcome, so working through it is important. However, he didn’t seem to understand that his process was quite a bit different from his daughters. Some folks can move on easily, some never get over that one relationship. This is all to say, the father perhaps needed some therapy first before charging into the dating market.
Instead, he seems to have decided that he needs a new wife and his daughter needs a new mom before anyone, including the new wife, is really ready for the reality of the situation.
As a teen, losing a parent is simply never easy. The fact that she was in a vegetative state is even worse, as it most likely didn’t even give her a true feeling of closure. At the same time, she sees her father move on and spend his attention on another woman. While we don’t exactly know, it does seem like she has had to carry her grief alone.
The father simply ignored his daughter’s needs
Image credits: Zinkevych_D / envanto (not the actual photo)
This is not to say that destroying the dress is good or acceptable behavior, but once you put yourself in her shoes, it’s hard not to be somewhat sympathetic. The father himself, without thinking, tells her his new relationship is the one good thing he has left. This is not something you can just communicate to your grieving teenage daughter and expect her to be ok.
Not only has she lost her mother, it would appear that her father has forgotten about her as well. After all, “Chloe” is living, breathing proof that her mother is gone and that her father wants to just leave her behind. Some step parents and new partners are downright horrible, but even if they are normal, it’s still a difficult adjustment.
While we only have the father’s side of the story, “Chloe’s” reaction is actually quite telling. Committing to a marriage isn’t something most people look at lightly, so getting out of it this far into the process means she saw something she didn’t like. Beyond the troubled relationship with the daughter, she also indicates some red flags which the man never even mentions.
On top of that, the punishment he has decided on isn’t exactly life-ruining, but it’s downright horrible. Not only is he cutting her off from her social life, he seems ok ruining her chances at college. He blames her for ending his relationship, but it would appear that this was just the last straw, not a one-off event. Hopefully, he took the comments to heart and decided to rethink his life.
Many readers thought the entire family needed help and called him out
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
The part that got to me the most was when he offered to ship his grieving daughter off to boarding school so he could keep the new wife. The daughter is going to walk out the door the day she turns 18 and never look back.
That, and when he said he’d accepted his wife’s death when she was still alive. I highly doubt the daughter did. Poor girl probably still held out hope that Mom would get a miracle. 6 months later, Dad has a replacement wife. Daughter was acting out, because it was way too soon for her. Poor kid was screaming for help, but dear old dad cared more about moving on. She’s going to go NC. As someone who lost her mother young, I’d have never forgiven my Pop if he’d done that.
Load More Replies...Terrible dad wonders why daughter is acting out when he clearly resents her in general and has made no effort to give her the love or support she needs to feel secure, whilst having to deal with her dad already prioritising a new partner over her to the extent that he would have shipped her off to boarding school. Emancipation would be closer than reconciliation.
I stopped at "boarding school". You're going to send your daughter to boarding school? What the daughter did was wrong, but she's asking for something. She needs therapy, not boarding school. She needs to feel listened to, needs to feel that her grief over the loss of her mother is respected. She's grieving and people get a little difficult when they're grieving. Sending them away? No.
At this point boarding school would be better for her thsn being stuck at home with her father. There is a boarding school a block from my church and a lot of the faculty and staff are members (and we get a few students coming over every week as well). They make social life a big part of campus life for the kids - lots of trip options, game rooms in all the dorms and social activities planned to help students make and keep friends and date safely. OP's daughter would have a much more fun and welcoming end of HS there vs with his punishments at home.
Load More Replies...The part that got to me the most was when he offered to ship his grieving daughter off to boarding school so he could keep the new wife. The daughter is going to walk out the door the day she turns 18 and never look back.
That, and when he said he’d accepted his wife’s death when she was still alive. I highly doubt the daughter did. Poor girl probably still held out hope that Mom would get a miracle. 6 months later, Dad has a replacement wife. Daughter was acting out, because it was way too soon for her. Poor kid was screaming for help, but dear old dad cared more about moving on. She’s going to go NC. As someone who lost her mother young, I’d have never forgiven my Pop if he’d done that.
Load More Replies...Terrible dad wonders why daughter is acting out when he clearly resents her in general and has made no effort to give her the love or support she needs to feel secure, whilst having to deal with her dad already prioritising a new partner over her to the extent that he would have shipped her off to boarding school. Emancipation would be closer than reconciliation.
I stopped at "boarding school". You're going to send your daughter to boarding school? What the daughter did was wrong, but she's asking for something. She needs therapy, not boarding school. She needs to feel listened to, needs to feel that her grief over the loss of her mother is respected. She's grieving and people get a little difficult when they're grieving. Sending them away? No.
At this point boarding school would be better for her thsn being stuck at home with her father. There is a boarding school a block from my church and a lot of the faculty and staff are members (and we get a few students coming over every week as well). They make social life a big part of campus life for the kids - lots of trip options, game rooms in all the dorms and social activities planned to help students make and keep friends and date safely. OP's daughter would have a much more fun and welcoming end of HS there vs with his punishments at home.
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