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Being smart isn’t the most important thing, sure. However, when you’re in a relationship, hearing your loved one ask where spaghetti grows might not only raise an eyebrow but make you ponder if you yourself are dating a noodle.

“When did you realize that you’re dating an idiot?” – this internet user took to one of Reddit’s most thought-provoking communities, inviting its members to share the moment they realized they’d coupled up with a nincompoop. The thread managed to garner nearly 28K upvotes as well as 16.2K comments.

More info: Reddit

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#1

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) I asked my ex-girlfriend to marry me. She said “yes.” That was when I knew. Married 25 years now. What a beautiful dope she is.

KingBooRadley , Jeremy Wong Report

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#2

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) 1990. We live in central Alabama. She told me that her and her best friend were going to Birmingham for the weekend. Didn't think anything of it, there's lots of shopping and things to do in Birmingham. Came over Sunday night to tell me how disappointed she was in the trip. They had driven through all of the wealthier neighborhoods in Birmingham, Alabama for two days trying to find a house that matched the gates to Ozzy Osborne's house and never found it. He lives in Birmingham, England.

bluecheetos , Kevin Burkett Report

Final score:
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#3

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) She refused to pay taxes, have a bank account, or pay for public transit.

she told me "i change my name every few years so they cant find me".

like, shed go to the *government* and change her name. legally. so the *government* couldn't find her.

we broke up for other reasons, but this was the first red flag.

GreasyBud , Nataliya Vaitkevich Report

Final score:
258points
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Thegoodboi
Thegoodboi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love meeting people like this. Hearing what they have to say is so fascinating!

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#4

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) We were having an argument, although I can’t remember what about, when I very calmly asked him to explain what made him think that, and he said “I hate arguing with you because you always make me realise I’m wrong!”

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#5

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) The night I said that I thought I smelled gas, and they grabbed a lighter and struck it without hesitation.

Usr_115 , Alexa LaSpisa Report

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#6

When she told me she was a flat-earth person.

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idrow avatar
Id row
Id row
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so glad I'm not in the dating scene, there's a lot of lunatics out there.

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#7

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) He’s a Catholic, so I asked him where he thought heaven was. I’m also Catholic.

He said there was the “sky, then heaven, and then space”. I asked him did NASA go through heaven on their way to space and he said “probably.”

He also thought that if you were pregnant, that you still had to use contraception, or you could get pregnant again, and again, and again.

For example, you fall pregnant in February, and then again in March, and again in May, and you just deliver them 9 months from conception.

He’s an attorney with a 3.6 GPA law degree, and masters in law, is French, and bilingual, practising law in Ireland. Somewhat academically smart but otherwise, questionable.

ETA: I asked him to feed my fish once. He put the food on top of the lid of the tank and couldn’t figure out why they couldn’t access it.

Kelthie , Becky Stern Report

Final score:
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Headless Roach
Headless Roach
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This pregnancy thing reminds me of a saying about Project Managers, who think that 9 people can deliver a baby in 1 month. Always makes me laugh. And then cry. Then laugh again.

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#8

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) When I asked her to hand me a kitchen knife and she threw it at me… and that’s not even the stupidest part.

When I tried to explain the basics of handing someone a knife, or pair of scissors, she refused to accept that what she did was wrong or unsafe… it was suddenly apparent that she couldn’t possibly ever admit to being wrong.

Edit: it was an underhand throw

saucytopcheddar , Dushan Hanuska Report

Final score:
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A girl
A girl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband was about 1.5 meters up a ladder. He dropped a hammer and asked me to get it for him. I grabbed it and started up the ladder to hand it to him. He barks "are you an idiot? Two people can't be on a ladder at the same time. Just throw it!". Soooo tempting.

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#9

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) She didn't know that yogurt and pudding were not the same thing. She thought it was like how the British call fries "chips". She had been eating pudding and granola for breakfast for months and congratulating herself for being so healthy.

She also baked baby Jesus a birthday cake on Christmas, lit a candle and took it outside. When the wind blew the candle out, she was convinced it Jesus that blew it out.

MenudoMenudo , Ella Olsson Report

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Thegoodboi
Thegoodboi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the little things that make some people happy. I'm jealous...

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#10

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) Pre-heats the microwave

seanm3109 , Ewen Roberts Report

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Headless Roach
Headless Roach
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How can one even preheat an empty microwave? I'm actually impressed!

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#11

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) When she said she loved nothing in the world more than Greek mythology, even got a degree related to Greek mythology from University of Arkansas but had no idea who Prometheus and Achilles were.

No-Subject-5232 , Christian Paul Del Rosario Report

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#12

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) One night he turned to me and said "You're a bit of a scientist" (I was taking biology in high school, he was in college for music). "Can you explain how I can take frozen yogurt from the freezer, put it in the fridge, and it melts?" and I, already concerned, replied "well the fridge is warmer it's not cold enough to keep it frozen" and he the asked "but it's still cold?" and I had to explain that there are different levels of cold? Somewhere along the way I said "cold is the absence of heat like darkness is the absence of light" and he was so mind.blown by that.

marceliiine , Miles Goodhew Report

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#13

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) We were talking about dinosaurs and he was shocked to hear they were real. Then he proceeded to ask me if they really breathed fire. He thought dinosaurs and dragons were the same thing.

alixnkxng , Mike Bird Report

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#14

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) My wife would bring stuff home that said “refrigerate after opening,” open it, and put it in the refrigerator.

❤️

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#15

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) She didn’t understand that you actually have to pay what you spent on credit cards. Like the credit amount she had was supposed to be her monthly limit that just ✨resets✨ each month

alphalegend91 , energepic.com Report

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#16

When he suggested that we should have a 'shared banking account' after only dating less than a month.

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#17

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) She walked into a computer lab on campus and simply picked up a computer and walked home with it. She was living with me at the time, so I get home to find a very familiar looking computer sitting on the kitchen table. She literally thought the computers were free for students. It took a bit of explaining to convince her that she stole the computer. I made her return the computer to the lab that night, she left it at the door step.

watabby , Format Report

Final score:
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#18

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) When she asked me "Have you ever had your hair set on fire"? and then lit my hair on fire. We done

pengu1n11 , Jeremy Bishop Report

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#19

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) My ex wanted to start a business making supplies for baby showers. Her business plan was to sell everything below cost to to increase sales. After I had explained numerous times that you cannot profit from a business that will inevitably lose money her reply was that I was the idiot because if she sold them cheap it would drum up more business and she would sell more that way.

Stanleesteemer , Vidal Balielo Jr Report

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#20

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) When kids egged his car and he thought the best way to get the egg off was to use steel wool.

SassyAshlie , Kate Ter Haar Report

Final score:
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Tee Rat
Tee Rat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

SOS pad, Dremmel Tool, chisel and hammer that should be enough to get the stupid out of his head.

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#21

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) "Where does the sun go at night?"

I was dumbfounded.

EDIT: She was in her early 20's at the time...

VagrancyHD , Simon Berger Report

Final score:
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Xenon
Xenon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read where someone thought they were a genius for suggesting we make a manned mission to land on the sun, at night, when it would be safe.

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#22

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) He thought you absorb a gallon of water when you shower 😂 so he didn’t need to drink water

Wild_Butterscotch_7 , Karolina Grabowska Report

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Thegoodboi
Thegoodboi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was told the same thing, "that's why our fingers wrinkle". They wrinkle so we can grip wet things better, it's a cool evolutionary trick

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#23

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) She told me Apple Music was “b******t” because it only had covers of Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata”, and not the original.

JBinSA , cottonbro studio Report

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#24

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) When my ex asked me where they grew spaghetti.

YaBoyfriendKeefa , Pixabay Report

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#25

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) When she told me “she doesn’t believe in so-called ‘professionals’. They’re just normal everyday people like me. What more could they know.”

She was the “my daddy’s a heart surgeon so I’m basically one also” type chicks. Every few months or so I reflect on how grateful I am that she never got pregnant.

EDIT: Just to clarify, her dad DEFINITELY WAS NOT a heart surgeon. Not even close lmao. But if he was you wouldn’t hear the end of it with that chick.

PinkEyeFromBreakfast , Nenad Stojkovic Report

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Nikki Sevven
Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, like military spouses expect to be thanked for their service and given discounts and free stuff.

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#26

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) Doing a “fun fact about me” icebreaker in a group and his was I’ve never read a book.

Unlucky-Limit7968 , Nenad Stojkovic Report

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#27

When I overheard her complaining I was “too worried about money” after she financed a 30k car with an insane interest rate while making $15 an hour.

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#28

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) She kept stating the big revelation of her story with “lord and behold” instead of “lo and behold”. I told her she was using the wrong word, but I was the idiot because you behold the lord. Anyways, lord and behold - she f****d five other dudes, so we’re on a more than temporary break.

The-Distant-Blue , Rodolfo Clix Report

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#29

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) One day they looked at me and said "we should make a trip to New York!" I said I think that would be fun but we really don't have the money to fly there right now.

"It's not that far."

... We lived in Portland Oregon at the time...

"New York is next to Canada, and Canada is just past Washington, it can't be that far away!"

...

IthiusEiros , Roberto Vivancos Report

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#30

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) When she was choosing random pills from the blister of a "21 active + 7 placebo" contraceptive, instead of following the arrows on the package.

RPND , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

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Marnie
Marnie
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sounds like a failure of her doctor to properly explain how to use this medicine.

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#31

The fool would bang on my dashboard and scream the name of a certain restaurant whenever I drove past it. After almost getting into a wreck twice, I asked him why he was trying to kill us. He said he did it because "it was his thing." He never rode in my car again.

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#32

She would end almost every sentence with "you know what I mean", not as a question, but as a description for something missing. There were sentences like "He's not an a*****e, but he's a... you know what I mean", "Can you get me the thing, the, uh, you know what I mean", "Yes I get it, but I don't get the, uh, you know what I mean" and so on.
No. I didn't know what she meant, as most of the time there was hardly any context.
Maybe she didn't either.

BusyGM Report

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Benita Valdez
Benita Valdez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I knew someone who would end like every other sentence with 'you know what I mean". For example: that chicken was cooked good. You know what I mean". At first I though it was like a little skit he was doing because he would say that after every 2nd or 3rd sentence, but no, that was just how he talked. It was really difficult having conversations with him because I got so irritated and just wanted to shake him and yell "yes we all known what you mean now stop saying that.

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#33

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) She got thrown out from a bar and nearly arrested because another woman complimented my shirt and she was convinced that meant she wanted to bang me.

That-One-Sioux-Dude , hazan aköz ışık Report

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karen Young
karen Young
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Run. I used to be a waitress in the club back in the day. The waitresses are working. I got paid to be there. To talk to you. All I want is a tip. Not your man.

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#34

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) My ex-wife. The doctor said her test came back positive & she said "does that mean I'm not pregnant?"

I knew at that moment I was in for a long ride.

mthw704 , cottonbro studio Report

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TeenieMeanie
TeenieMeanie
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone had to graduate at the bottom of the class.

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#35

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) He could not find our country on Europe's map. The countries were written in bold, and the capitals too.

QueenC7 , Porapak Apichodilok Report

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#36

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) Calls me at work because her crumpets dont fit in the crumpet tray under the toaster... crumpet tray ?!?

Had a look when i got home, clearly labelled "CRUMB TRAY"

Whoopdedobasil , Zan Ready Report

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Cara
Cara
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it’s that they called you at work to tell you this that’s more concerning.

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#37

The day I told my girlfriend I think I broke my toe and her solution was to yank on it with all her might.

It was gout.

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#38

My ex was scared of hedgehogs and convinced himself they could jump over a six foot fence like a cat

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Apatheist Account2
Apatheist Account2
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We once heard a strange noise in the garden which turned out to be hedgehogs. My wife was concerned that it might have been a werewolf, I kid you not.

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#39

She didn’t want to watch the original avatar movie (blue people) until her uncle told her that it was based on a true story. I asked her if she meant that it was a futuristic version of Pocahontas… but no, she thought that it was somehow based on a true story. Then asked if I was calling her uncle a liar. Follow up questions, like asking if she really thought we waged war against an alien society, went equally poorly.

We were 18 years old fyi

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Libstak
Libstak
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her uncle knew her well, probably a source of regular hilarity for him.

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#40

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) Stacking cups... In the dishwasher

DoctorWafle , cottonbro studio Report

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BluEyedSeoulite
BluEyedSeoulite
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had sooo many cleaners wash the dishes then nest, when you stack them together, them all to "dry" 🤦‍♀️so fun to put dishes away the next day or grab a bowl from the cabinet and get wet. I don't hire cleaners anymore...

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#41

This Online Thread Has Folks Highlighting Times They Realized They Were Dating An Idiot (42 Tales) After her third "business opportunity" turned out to be another pyramid scheme.

We didn't date long but knew each other for a while before that. I liked her for her "work hard, get paid" attitude. Turns out the hard work she was doing was costing her waaay more than she made, and didn't realize it.

Aelerious , Tyler Merbler Report

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Cat Chat
Cat Chat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister's ex was constantly getting business ideas that were going to "make millions", but no a one ever took off. He worked hard between each business attempt failure, but was mostly just to save up for his next big idea.

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#42

I gave my girlfriend a gift, a box with something in it, and after she opened it and saw what it was, I told her to check it again, because it's gone. I don't know why I said that, I think I was joking to confuse her or be silly or something.

But without opening the box (the gift was still in there), she started screaming and ran to the other side of the room, believing that I had just performed dark magic or something.

She later told me that she believed I was a witch or a demon when I told her that I made it disappear.

PK_Thundah Report

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David
David
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

sometimes if you catch a person in an off moment. Navy - me + really smart shipmate I liked. Me: Watch this - (inserts comb into right pocket, magically pulls the comb out of my left pocket). Him: "How did you DO that!?" Me: (shows him I was just at the ship's store and purchased two combs. We had a good laugh. Like I said - the guy was smart and I respected him. But I did it on a whim and managed to catch him in a moment.

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