Good grief! First date should be coffee or a drink in a bar. Second date can be eating out but you could say beforehand that you want to split the bill. Woman are mostly ok with this unless they aren't in which case they can say no. It's not 1950.

Oookay so, this is a gender thing and it needs to stop. If it really were a matter of whomever asks for the date, pays then no one would be asking anyone out lol particularly in lower wage areas. No, this is a "guy asks girl out". So then, how do lesbians pay on a dinner date? What about gay men? Do they split or follow a 'you ask, you pay' rule? To my limited knowledge, they split. We are in a time where our time and resources are precious, therefore we should NOT expect one person to pay for both meals. For those "guess they are just friends if they split it". Well no freaking duh!! Of course they are! It's a first date to see if they get along, or, if literal friends first, they get to test romantic compatibility. It is absurd to think that date = pay for it, heck, many dates can be free (walk in park, etc). I think women that think men should pay are entitled and, if feminist, hypocrites. Now is a time when both people pay their share of the bill on the first date or two.

The issue I come across is more and more of the women I meet think a first date should be a meal at a nice place. Then you never see them again for a second date. Sorry, but the first date is a meet and greet. Let's do coffee, ice cream, a hike, etc. This attitude of "Dinner and drinks" needs to stop.

Maybe people can learn to use "let me take you out to dinner" or "let's go out for dinner" to differentiate. If you initiate a dinner date without clear intentions, that is on you. Make it clear that intend on splitting the bill otherwise I'm assuming you are taking me out for dinner.

Did anyone read the comments on the video?! Like wtf. No way EVER would I even want a Tinder date to pay for me! Especially on a 1st date!!! I'm a woman but I feel this should bebacross the board for all genders!!!! Years ago I went on a date with a guy and it was almost unusual for me to want to split it and he insisted after a bit of an argument. Worst decision ever....because he paid he felt I "owed him" for much more than a follow date or a ride home if you catch my drift. Also I'm sorry TikTok huns but you can't cry sexism and claim to be feminist Queens on one hand and on the other expect freebies because of your gender. Makes my blood boil...my grandmother didn't burn her bra for that lol!!!

I don't get the ppl defending him as if he didn't secretly record the entire interaction bc his intent was to set her off

I'm fully on his side, if two people agree on a first date to meet, each pays for their own food. That's the only modern and fair way. HOWEVER since this is a rather new development, I'd talk about this first. Not everyone is on the same page. And if the potential partner is unwilling to talk about this or thinks it's rude to even think of it, that would be a hard no from me, because then we're obviously not compatible. And that's okay. That doesn't mean the other person is a bad person or that I feel entitled to criticise them. It's also not a demand that they should change in any way. You do you, I do I, we're both okay. But it makes no sense to try and make things work before we even get to know eachother. And it's perfectly fair to say, this are my values, and if yours don't fit, we're not meant to be. You have of course the same right. But what I'm not budging on is this: the only reaction to this that is acceptable is a shrug and to move on. It's called respect for consent.

Bro, I'd be absolutely fine with splitting the bill, date or not (I'm a woman). Heck, most of the time when we went out to eat, my ex and I would split the bill. It gives me a sense of independence if I pay for my own things, though of course I do sometimes accept getting invited (and making sure to return the favor).

Meet at location. Separate cars. Order food n drinks. Separate Checks. Unless Specifically talked about it's 50-50 for date one. No expectations. Just get to know each other. And even up to date 3 split it all. Movies. Coffee. Whatever. Keep it friendly. If you go to the other persons home like they are making dinner, then you bring a gift based on what the ingredients and time to make it would cost. Wine or liquor or cigar or legos. They are making pasta and jar sauce? Bring a cake from a bakery or a few small tastes. After date three discuss if you want to treat them to something or they want to treat you. "I wanna try x place to eat. My treat for the night." And if it sucks they don't feel they wasted money. You can't today expect people to whip their wallets out. Sorry entitled chicks there.

The biggest issue is that neither party communicates their expectations beforehand in order to avoid all of this childish nonsense, grow up already or stay home.

Internet dating is different from traditional dating. By traditional dating I mean the two individuals have already met and/or already know each other. In that scenario, asking someone out means you are "requesting the pleasure of their company," and the person doing the asking should pay. Again, internet dating is different, you probably have not even met the person yet, and you have no idea how the two of you will get along once you meet. This is why I think dinner for the first internet date is a bad idea; it's a big time commitment to someone you may figure out in the first 5 mins that you don't even like. If you are going to commit to dinner, you may find yourself in the uncomfortable situation of our hero here. I personally don't think it's fair that women have this expectation with internet dating; it's definitely taking advantage a tradition that doesn't really apply here. If you're going to do dinner for the first meet-up, this should be discussed.

I never do dinner on a first date. I always suggest to get a few cocktails that way if the date goes bad, I can have one drink and leave about 30 minutes in, or get a second if things go well. Some men insist on paying for the first date which I am not all that comfortable with since so many of those men then also expect that I sleep with them after. Feel like they can't even try to attempt that line of thinking over the price of two cocktails (nor should they for an expensive dinner but I digress). I always offer to pay for my own drinks on the first date, I relent if they offer to pay for us both, if we have a second date then I pay, so on and so forth, someone covers it this time, then the other the next.

As a woman, this makes me so, freaking, angry! We’ve spent so long fighting to be treated as equal. To eliminate the problem of dates expecting sexual favours because they paid for a meal. These entitled women are acting like it’s a privilege to pay for their attention. I respect escorts; they are honest and upfront about requiring remuneration for their time. These “queens” are acting like escorts but get deeply offended when called out for their behaviour.

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Ladies wanted to be treated equally to men but then expect to be catered to. Nah sis. When my husband and I first started dating I ALWAYS paid for my own meal unless he offered to pay. And he often did offer to pay for my meal because he WANTED to. Don't be forcing or expecting men to pay for your food/movie tickets/whatever. Even now after we're married we share costs as fairly as possible. We don't nickle and dime each other, but I never let my husband pay for two dinners out without having paid for one myself.

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It depends on how the date came about. Eg if he said "I'd like to take you out on a date / to dinner" then he pays. If he said "I'd like to get to know you more. Do you want to meet up for dinner?" Then it's split. I'd like to take you out vs let us meet are very different.

If someone says "Let's meet for dinner" I'll assume I'm meant to pay for my meal. If someone says "I want to take you out for dinner" I'll assume they plan to pay, but make sure I have the money to cover my meal just in case.

Nah, she was asked out. He pays. Whoever asks the other out is expected to pay. They both dodged a bullet and if he hadnt been staring at his stupid phone to make a s**t-tok it might have gone better. Its like he was ready for this before it even happened. sad

Things are different now. If you invite someone out, you need to establish ahead of time whether YOU are paying, paying separate bills, or splitting evenly. Not doing so leads to shltty situations like this. Her expectations were not entitlement because as far as she's concerned he sprung this on her, and honestly? From there it could easily feel like it's his way of saying he's not interested.

Another BP thread ('borrowed' of course) about petty drama involving manners. Long established common courtesy is if you invite someone some place (dinner/movie/party) you are paying unless you arrange clearly beforehand. Not 'come to my party' and then then try to charge them a cover charge at the door. I'm talking between human beings in general - doesn't matter if it is a 'date'

Just buy her the coffee or the dinner, you cheap-a*s.

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Wait, is this a "nice guy"?