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82
“Before I Knew It, I’m Being Punched”: Dad’s Love For His Daughter Gets Mistaken For A Crime
We like to think society has progressed—but for many, assumptions and appearances can still come with serious consequences.
A father of four is rethinking whether it’s safe to take his 3-year-old daughter out alone. After she threw a tantrum during a grocery trip, her lighter complexion led strangers to falsely believe he was taking someone else’s child. He ended up in handcuffs, separated from his kids, and traumatized by the experience.
Now he’s searching for a safer way forward.
Read the full story below.
RELATED:
A father was left traumatized after strangers wrongly accused him of kidnapping his own daughter
Image credits: Polina Kuzovkova (not the actual image)
Now, he’s debating whether he should take her out in public alone again
Image credits: Mochi Mochi (not the actual image)
Image credits: denisapolka (not the actual image)
Image credits: nomadsoul1 (not the actual image)
Image credits: Mammoth-Sentence-734
When protecting children turns into hurting parents
According to the Child Crime Prevention and Safety Center, a child goes missing or is kidnapped every 40 seconds in the United States. That amounts to roughly 840,000 children reported missing each year. The FBI estimates that 85 to 90 percent of these cases involve minors.
For parents, keeping their children safe is always a top priority. With such alarming statistics, it’s no surprise that many adults try to remain vigilant, watching closely for any signs of danger and stepping in when something doesn’t feel right. Whether that means questioning a stranger who seems too close to a child or double-checking who’s picking someone up from school, the intent is usually to protect.
But when that vigilance is filtered through a lens of prejudice, the consequences can be devastating.
That’s exactly what happened to the man in the Reddit story. A Black father, shopping with his light-skinned daughter, was accused of kidnapping her during a typical toddler tantrum. It wasn’t the first time he’d experienced suspicion while out with his children, and now he fears the next incident could end far worse. Instead of being protected by society’s watchfulness, he and his family are being harmed by it.
His fear isn’t unfounded. Black Americans are disproportionately affected by police violence and wrongful convictions. According to the 2022 Race and Wrongful Convictions report, Black people are seven times more likely than white people to be falsely convicted of serious crimes. This disparity spans nearly every category except white-collar offenses.
False accusations targeting fathers, especially those in interracial or adoptive families, are sadly not uncommon. A quick online search reveals countless stories over the years.
In one 2013 HuffPost article, Terry Keleher, a white father of a Black adopted son, recounted several times people questioned his relationship with his child—even neighbors assumed he was a kidnapper. And in 2017, a California dad was held at gunpoint by police after placing his child in the rear-facing back seat of his Tesla. Due to the car’s unusual layout, it appeared to the officers that he was putting the child in the trunk.
These stories point to a troubling reality: while reacting quickly to real threats is necessary, knee-jerk assumptions based on race or appearance lead to trauma, fear, and, sometimes, violence. Parents shouldn’t have to worry that taking their child to the store might end in handcuffs—or worse.
And yet, for far too many, that’s exactly the risk.
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection (not the actual image)
The story left people furious, and many gave advice to help the man stay safe
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What do you think ?
BeesEelsAndPups 9 months ago
I am Brazilian. My first wife is black. Our son is much darker than me. I've been detained by police twice when I was alone with him when he was still little. Once at a playground for suspiciously taking photos of a black child. And once at a national park for flying a threatening looking balsa wood rubber band powered plane. They were worried I was a terrorist teaching my son how to bomb Americans.
Jihana 9 months ago
I'm so sorry this happened to you, but I'm sorry, I had to laugh at the terrorist. Who the hell comes to such conclusions?
Load More Replies...
Trillian 9 months ago
This vigilante behavior is crazy and dangerous. Who would assume that a screaming toddler is being KIDNAPPED instead of just having a meltdown like kids do?
Andy 9 months ago
You see it in the comments section of BP quite a lot, condemning people who didn't act in situations like these and saying you should always trust your instincts and do something
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
As someone said, go scorched earth. Do not let any of this slide, from the cuntpunch to the cops who didn't even give you a chance to try and explain. Let lessons be learned. and if they get fired, they will have time on their hands to rethink their strategies and lives. I doubt they will but at least an unpaid suspension and mandatory training.
Lila Allen 9 months ago
My husband is Native American and very dark skinned. I am white. One of our boys has his dark skin and one is much paler with light eyes. Multiple times in public I have had to rescue my husband from accusations that he is attacking, bothering, or harming our light skinned kid. I have hade women straight up try to snatch our son out of his arms. I have had to stand between him and grown men yelling that we are married and that our light skinned kid is his son. People need to STOP this nonsense
Earonn - 9 months ago
The country where racism is that ingrained that such things can happen has big problems. And better solves them
Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
Yeah, we're working really hard on that. "Sarcasm" Do people not know how genetics work? And that mixed raced couples are totally a thing?
Load More Replies... 
Nova Rook 9 months ago
I looked up "blasian" and then realized how obvious the meaning was from context. Thought it might be an african ethnicity I had not heard of before. Eye roll at myself.
Offbeat Quinoa 9 months ago
Don’t worry, my brain kinda read it like that too, I was pronouncing it “blass-ee-an” and thinking “what a pretty word, I wonder if they’re from a place called Blasia” and then it hit me 🤦♀️😂
Load More Replies...
Lauren Wilder 9 months ago (edited)
Yet, no one bats an eye when white people tote around Asian or African children? These parents don't obviously look like their children. Should the police also be called to harrass and question them? This is getting ridiculous.
Marnie 9 months ago
Completely agree. My sister of Scandinavian descent adopted a baby from China who looks like she's of Chinese descent. All of this niece's siblings look to be of Scandinavian descent. Yeah, not once has anyone accused my sister of kidnapping my niece.
Load More Replies...
Falafal salad 9 months ago
I’m pasty white (f), my daughter is mixed and dark. Probably being female I never got accused of kidnapping but did get the occasional assumption that I had adopted (she is my biological daughter). Once got asked ‘how long have you had her?’ ‘Ever since I squeezed her out of my v****a’ is what I wished I’d said.
ah219357 ah219357 9 months ago
I am a tanned femboy, but some people say I'm black. My parents are Hispanic. In the Summer, I get really tan, so some people who don't stay out of our business decide to be really mean.
FreeTheUnicorn 9 months ago
Move to a city where mixed race households are normal. In the US, cities with more than a quarter mixed race young households are : Anchorage, Honolulu, Albuquerque, Denver, Seattle, coastal California. Don't raise your kids in a place where this happens, life is hard enough with shity community.
SirWriteALot 9 months ago
Tough situation. I'm sure people thought they were doing the right thing and if the situation were different and kids were actually kidnapped we'd be all over the bystanders who did nothing to protect the kids. My brother has once been approached by concerned bystanders because he was yelling at his kids (he's normally really cool but he said they were being insufferable and he just blew a gasket) and after yelling at the bystanders he took a breath and then was able to calm everyone down.
Gisergraphis 8 months ago
I'm Native American and while I have skin tone typical of our tribe my sister is lighter skinned than I am. You can only tell we're related by our facial features as we're spitting images of each other. Apart from that we couldn't be more different in appearance. So, my sister had a son to a man who was decidedly Caucasian. Blonde, blue eyed, freckles the works. Needless to say, their son is also very fair. While babysitting out in public with him, I was always very conscious of how different we looked from each other. We did have a superficial resemblance in the face but that's it. I recall getting a lot of suspicious or even angry stares from strangers. Luckily nothing ever happened. Even as a youth he was also aware of the animosity that was often palpable. He knew early on not to draw attention to himself or me when we could feel the mood around us suddenly shift. He's now a grown man in his late 30's and we talk about those times on occasion.
Binky Melnik 9 months ago
We’re Ukrainian, and so very fair, light hair, prominent cheekbones, etc, and my aunt married a Chinese-Filipino man and had two brown Asian-looking kids, one with thick, wiry black hair. No one EVER made a peep about the extremely white woman having darkish kids. There was a soap opera star, Victoria Rowell, who was black (and extremely beautiful) and she had a white daughter with platinum blonde hair. Everywhere she went, she was assumed to be the nanny; so far as I know, no one tried to yank her kid away. Stories like these where people and kids are terrorized for being with their OWN FAMILIES breaks my heart. They can’t even safely go outside without fear? That this man is deaf on top of things has gotta mean his stress is through the roof. Unless people smarten up damned quick, I can’t see a solution to the problem. This is appalling. 😰😰😰
Mariah 9 months ago
This happen a lot to my biological father and my grandpa. My bio father and grandpa were lot dark skinned then anyone else in the family. I think because they spent years working in the sun. When either one would take me places or pick me up from school and someone new saw them they would freak out.
Melanie Linehan 4 months ago
I'm sorry you had this happen to you and your children. It could of been handled much better. Personally, i wouldn't be angry with the person trying to protect a child. Who I would be angry with is the police. They could of avoided a lot of trauma buy just asking the kids who you are. Even if you were a bad guy, there is no excuse how they treated you.
Niki 9 months ago
I look like neither of my parents. Particularly not my mother, who is Asian, and it shows. People used to ask her who she stole the white baby from. I look Caucasian, but without my makeup, it's pretty obvious I am not entirely so. I tire of people being upset when relatives do not look alike and they get all pissy.
Betsy S 9 months ago
Get a family portrait done and plaster it very large over the front of several colours of t-shirt for each family member. Make sure when going in public to all wear those t-shirts, clearly showing each person's face, so there can be no mistake. And the dad should consider wearing a "Hidden Disability Sunflower" Lanyard so that people know at a glance that there is an issue that could affect communication.
Binky Melnik 9 months ago
This is the first I’m hearing about the sunflower. I’m not sure that’d work if others don’t know what it means, either.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
Yes, except they are usually wearing pointy hats or red caps. This is not one of those situations. And those situations are extremely rare now that it's not so easy to get away with it on a word for word basis.
Load More Replies...
Offbeat Quinoa 9 months ago
You do realize there are plenty of ways for deaf or hard of hearing folks to use a phone to communicate, right? 😂
Load More Replies...
BeesEelsAndPups 9 months ago
I am Brazilian. My first wife is black. Our son is much darker than me. I've been detained by police twice when I was alone with him when he was still little. Once at a playground for suspiciously taking photos of a black child. And once at a national park for flying a threatening looking balsa wood rubber band powered plane. They were worried I was a terrorist teaching my son how to bomb Americans.
Jihana 9 months ago
I'm so sorry this happened to you, but I'm sorry, I had to laugh at the terrorist. Who the hell comes to such conclusions?
Load More Replies... Trillian 9 months ago
This vigilante behavior is crazy and dangerous. Who would assume that a screaming toddler is being KIDNAPPED instead of just having a meltdown like kids do?
Andy 9 months ago
You see it in the comments section of BP quite a lot, condemning people who didn't act in situations like these and saying you should always trust your instincts and do something
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
As someone said, go scorched earth. Do not let any of this slide, from the cuntpunch to the cops who didn't even give you a chance to try and explain. Let lessons be learned. and if they get fired, they will have time on their hands to rethink their strategies and lives. I doubt they will but at least an unpaid suspension and mandatory training.
Lila Allen 9 months ago
My husband is Native American and very dark skinned. I am white. One of our boys has his dark skin and one is much paler with light eyes. Multiple times in public I have had to rescue my husband from accusations that he is attacking, bothering, or harming our light skinned kid. I have hade women straight up try to snatch our son out of his arms. I have had to stand between him and grown men yelling that we are married and that our light skinned kid is his son. People need to STOP this nonsense
Earonn - 9 months ago
The country where racism is that ingrained that such things can happen has big problems. And better solves them
Kim Gatlin 8 months ago
Yeah, we're working really hard on that. "Sarcasm" Do people not know how genetics work? And that mixed raced couples are totally a thing?
Load More Replies... Nova Rook 9 months ago
I looked up "blasian" and then realized how obvious the meaning was from context. Thought it might be an african ethnicity I had not heard of before. Eye roll at myself.
Offbeat Quinoa 9 months ago
Don’t worry, my brain kinda read it like that too, I was pronouncing it “blass-ee-an” and thinking “what a pretty word, I wonder if they’re from a place called Blasia” and then it hit me 🤦♀️😂
Load More Replies... Lauren Wilder 9 months ago (edited)
Yet, no one bats an eye when white people tote around Asian or African children? These parents don't obviously look like their children. Should the police also be called to harrass and question them? This is getting ridiculous.
Marnie 9 months ago
Completely agree. My sister of Scandinavian descent adopted a baby from China who looks like she's of Chinese descent. All of this niece's siblings look to be of Scandinavian descent. Yeah, not once has anyone accused my sister of kidnapping my niece.
Load More Replies... Falafal salad 9 months ago
I’m pasty white (f), my daughter is mixed and dark. Probably being female I never got accused of kidnapping but did get the occasional assumption that I had adopted (she is my biological daughter). Once got asked ‘how long have you had her?’ ‘Ever since I squeezed her out of my v****a’ is what I wished I’d said.
ah219357 ah219357 9 months ago
I am a tanned femboy, but some people say I'm black. My parents are Hispanic. In the Summer, I get really tan, so some people who don't stay out of our business decide to be really mean.
FreeTheUnicorn 9 months ago
Move to a city where mixed race households are normal. In the US, cities with more than a quarter mixed race young households are : Anchorage, Honolulu, Albuquerque, Denver, Seattle, coastal California. Don't raise your kids in a place where this happens, life is hard enough with shity community.
SirWriteALot 9 months ago
Tough situation. I'm sure people thought they were doing the right thing and if the situation were different and kids were actually kidnapped we'd be all over the bystanders who did nothing to protect the kids. My brother has once been approached by concerned bystanders because he was yelling at his kids (he's normally really cool but he said they were being insufferable and he just blew a gasket) and after yelling at the bystanders he took a breath and then was able to calm everyone down.
Gisergraphis 8 months ago
I'm Native American and while I have skin tone typical of our tribe my sister is lighter skinned than I am. You can only tell we're related by our facial features as we're spitting images of each other. Apart from that we couldn't be more different in appearance. So, my sister had a son to a man who was decidedly Caucasian. Blonde, blue eyed, freckles the works. Needless to say, their son is also very fair. While babysitting out in public with him, I was always very conscious of how different we looked from each other. We did have a superficial resemblance in the face but that's it. I recall getting a lot of suspicious or even angry stares from strangers. Luckily nothing ever happened. Even as a youth he was also aware of the animosity that was often palpable. He knew early on not to draw attention to himself or me when we could feel the mood around us suddenly shift. He's now a grown man in his late 30's and we talk about those times on occasion.
Binky Melnik 9 months ago
We’re Ukrainian, and so very fair, light hair, prominent cheekbones, etc, and my aunt married a Chinese-Filipino man and had two brown Asian-looking kids, one with thick, wiry black hair. No one EVER made a peep about the extremely white woman having darkish kids. There was a soap opera star, Victoria Rowell, who was black (and extremely beautiful) and she had a white daughter with platinum blonde hair. Everywhere she went, she was assumed to be the nanny; so far as I know, no one tried to yank her kid away. Stories like these where people and kids are terrorized for being with their OWN FAMILIES breaks my heart. They can’t even safely go outside without fear? That this man is deaf on top of things has gotta mean his stress is through the roof. Unless people smarten up damned quick, I can’t see a solution to the problem. This is appalling. 😰😰😰
Mariah 9 months ago
This happen a lot to my biological father and my grandpa. My bio father and grandpa were lot dark skinned then anyone else in the family. I think because they spent years working in the sun. When either one would take me places or pick me up from school and someone new saw them they would freak out.
Melanie Linehan 4 months ago
I'm sorry you had this happen to you and your children. It could of been handled much better. Personally, i wouldn't be angry with the person trying to protect a child. Who I would be angry with is the police. They could of avoided a lot of trauma buy just asking the kids who you are. Even if you were a bad guy, there is no excuse how they treated you.
Niki 9 months ago
I look like neither of my parents. Particularly not my mother, who is Asian, and it shows. People used to ask her who she stole the white baby from. I look Caucasian, but without my makeup, it's pretty obvious I am not entirely so. I tire of people being upset when relatives do not look alike and they get all pissy.
Betsy S 9 months ago
Get a family portrait done and plaster it very large over the front of several colours of t-shirt for each family member. Make sure when going in public to all wear those t-shirts, clearly showing each person's face, so there can be no mistake. And the dad should consider wearing a "Hidden Disability Sunflower" Lanyard so that people know at a glance that there is an issue that could affect communication.
Binky Melnik 9 months ago
This is the first I’m hearing about the sunflower. I’m not sure that’d work if others don’t know what it means, either.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 9 months ago
Yes, except they are usually wearing pointy hats or red caps. This is not one of those situations. And those situations are extremely rare now that it's not so easy to get away with it on a word for word basis.
Load More Replies... Offbeat Quinoa 9 months ago
You do realize there are plenty of ways for deaf or hard of hearing folks to use a phone to communicate, right? 😂
Load More Replies...
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