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Dad Doesn’t Invite Daughter’s Bully To Her Birthday Party, The Bully’s Mom Confronts Him Over This, He Stands His Ground
Bullying should never be rewarded. Sounds like a simple moral that probably everyone could get behind, right? Well, welcome to Planet Earth where even clear ethical decisions carry a certain amount of ambiguity for some people. And here’s one story that fits the bill perfectly.
A dad turned to the AITA community on Reddit for their judgment whether he was right in excluding a kid, ‘Nick’ who kept bullying his daughter from her 7th birthday celebrations. And while this situation seems fairly clear to most of us, the bully’s mom was furious that her son didn’t get an invite! Have a read through the full story below and give us your verdict, dear Pandas. Oh, and scroll down for our interview about bullying with an expert dedicated to protecting kids from it.
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A dad put his foot down and refused to invite his 7-year-old daughter’s bully to her birthday party
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
Image credits: need_toknow
The redditor dad said that the bully’s mom thought it would be the perfect time to have taught his daughter about compassion by forgiving ‘Nick’ and inviting him to the party. However, as one redditor put it in the comments, this argument is a double-edged sword: you could have just as easily told the mom that it’s a wonderful opportunity to teach her son about how our actions have consequences.
“Bullying is never acceptable”
Lauren Seager-Smith, the CEO of Kidscape, a UK-based charity that aims to keep children safe from harm and abuse, put it very simply to Bored Panda: “Bullying is never acceptable.” There is never a ‘good’ reason for anyone to get bullied, whether it’s their family situation (as in the case of the redditor dad, sharing his story), having a ‘funny’ name, wearing glasses, being overweight, or anything else.
According to Lauren from Kidscape, when somebody attacks the things that are vital to a child’s identity, it can be very tough to bear and the kid will need lots of support.
“Never underestimate the impact of bullying, understand what your child needs to feel safe and if the bullying is in school—make sure you let the school know the impact of the situation,” Lauren gave some simple but spot-on advice to parents who might not know how to act.
“You may also want to seek out opportunities to build your child’s confidence and assertiveness skills so they can feel proud of who they are,” she said that there is another layer to dealing with bullying and that means encouraging our children to be emotionally resilient when dealing with injustices that should never happen in the first place.
Here are some people’s thoughts after they read the dad’s story. The vast majority thought that he did absolutely nothing wrong
For more wholesome birthday moments, check out today’s celebrity birthday highlights.
What do you think ?
Sue Bradley 4 years ago
The most important thing here is the Daughter can trust her Dad to look after her, and he listens to her - and it's her party - she has who she wants Xxxx
Ozacoter 4 years ago
Exactly. I loved how he stood up for the daughter instead of just inviting the bully to not have an argument
Load More Replies...
Evil Little Thing 4 years ago (edited)
My kid spent third grade being a huge jerk to the kids in his class. I couldn't get him to stop, teachers couldn't get him to stop, he was a mess. Then near the middle of the year some fifth graders related to his classmates circled him on the playground and berated him for being an asshole, and the teachers did nothing. He was devastated. I explained that he'd spent three months bullying other kids, and everyone thinks he deserves to get bullied back, so ofc they won't do anything. He cried tears of unfathomable sadness, and started to be nicer to kids. Got frustrated that they weren't receptive right away, but I told him it would take at least three months of being nice to make people forget three months of being an asshole. So anyway, I kinda understand what the bully's mom was going through, but if I were her I would have told my kid that "OFC the birthday girl doesn't want you there - you've been so mean to her for so long! Actions have consequences."
Load More Replies...
Helena Houzarová 4 years ago
Nick bullies a child who's mother DIED and Nick's mother thinks it's the victim who needs to learn compassion? Lady, you have no idea what the word means!
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Your daughter is your number one priority, not the child bullying her. You did the right thing and showed your daughter that her happiness comes first.
Marianne 4 years ago
If I had been in the same situation as a child, my mother would absolutely have invited the bully, too. I always learned to avoid confrontation and be nice to everyone, no matter how they treated me, which is very hard to unlearn as an adult. The child can be glad to have a dad who stands up for her.
Judes 4 years ago
My 10 year old daughter was recently excluded from a party. She was excluded because a few weeks earlier she was overheard saying something not very nice about the birthday girl. I though it served her right for being mean and I think she learned something from it. I hope the boy in the story also learns from it.
Mikk Punning 4 years ago
A birthday party should be enjoyed with people you want there. Adults don't invite people they don't like.
cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
Sometimes not. As a kid my mother made me invite a kid who i was ok with but not really friend, because he was poor, badly dressed, never invited to parties, and bullied because he had a condition (pooped his pants often) and it was a decent thing to do. And i was really fine with it, i didn't thought of inviting him because we were not friends, but i was glad to invite him after my mother suggest it.
Load More Replies...
Scagsy 4 years ago
I was bullied relentlessly until I left school and I am 100% on this guy's side. As a kid, your birthday is the one time in all the year (and years seem longer when you're a kid) that you get to take charge and pick who you want to spend time (and cake) with. That is your right and nobody should be allowed to take that away. Regarding the bully, I feel sorry for him because obviously something has happened in his life that has made him that way. Most bullies really need therapy. It's sad and I wish it didn't happen.
Vicky Zar 4 years ago
You can't pick who you want to spent time with when it is not your birthday?
Load More Replies...
Casey McAlister 4 years ago
Well, a little jerk can also use this opportunity to learn that he is not entitled to anybody's friendship and second chances and that nobody is obligated to invite him if they don't want to. If he really wants to start getting along with his classmates, he will have to find another opportunity.
Sue Bradley 4 years ago
The most important thing here is the Daughter can trust her Dad to look after her, and he listens to her - and it's her party - she has who she wants Xxxx
Ozacoter 4 years ago
Exactly. I loved how he stood up for the daughter instead of just inviting the bully to not have an argument
Load More Replies... Evil Little Thing 4 years ago (edited)
My kid spent third grade being a huge jerk to the kids in his class. I couldn't get him to stop, teachers couldn't get him to stop, he was a mess. Then near the middle of the year some fifth graders related to his classmates circled him on the playground and berated him for being an asshole, and the teachers did nothing. He was devastated. I explained that he'd spent three months bullying other kids, and everyone thinks he deserves to get bullied back, so ofc they won't do anything. He cried tears of unfathomable sadness, and started to be nicer to kids. Got frustrated that they weren't receptive right away, but I told him it would take at least three months of being nice to make people forget three months of being an asshole. So anyway, I kinda understand what the bully's mom was going through, but if I were her I would have told my kid that "OFC the birthday girl doesn't want you there - you've been so mean to her for so long! Actions have consequences."
Load More Replies... Helena Houzarová 4 years ago
Nick bullies a child who's mother DIED and Nick's mother thinks it's the victim who needs to learn compassion? Lady, you have no idea what the word means!
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Your daughter is your number one priority, not the child bullying her. You did the right thing and showed your daughter that her happiness comes first.
Marianne 4 years ago
If I had been in the same situation as a child, my mother would absolutely have invited the bully, too. I always learned to avoid confrontation and be nice to everyone, no matter how they treated me, which is very hard to unlearn as an adult. The child can be glad to have a dad who stands up for her.
Judes 4 years ago
My 10 year old daughter was recently excluded from a party. She was excluded because a few weeks earlier she was overheard saying something not very nice about the birthday girl. I though it served her right for being mean and I think she learned something from it. I hope the boy in the story also learns from it.
Mikk Punning 4 years ago
A birthday party should be enjoyed with people you want there. Adults don't invite people they don't like.
cassiushumanmother 4 years ago
Sometimes not. As a kid my mother made me invite a kid who i was ok with but not really friend, because he was poor, badly dressed, never invited to parties, and bullied because he had a condition (pooped his pants often) and it was a decent thing to do. And i was really fine with it, i didn't thought of inviting him because we were not friends, but i was glad to invite him after my mother suggest it.
Load More Replies... Scagsy 4 years ago
I was bullied relentlessly until I left school and I am 100% on this guy's side. As a kid, your birthday is the one time in all the year (and years seem longer when you're a kid) that you get to take charge and pick who you want to spend time (and cake) with. That is your right and nobody should be allowed to take that away. Regarding the bully, I feel sorry for him because obviously something has happened in his life that has made him that way. Most bullies really need therapy. It's sad and I wish it didn't happen.
Vicky Zar 4 years ago
You can't pick who you want to spent time with when it is not your birthday?
Load More Replies... Casey McAlister 4 years ago
Well, a little jerk can also use this opportunity to learn that he is not entitled to anybody's friendship and second chances and that nobody is obligated to invite him if they don't want to. If he really wants to start getting along with his classmates, he will have to find another opportunity.
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