ADVERTISEMENT

Dad jokes are short, silly jokes that fathers use to make their kids laugh. Or, at least, they try to. Despite our dads’ best intentions, these funny one-liners often result in a hard facepalm and eyes rolling. Instead, if your sense of humor is broken like mine, you’ll find them utterly hilarious, to the point that I also use them despite me being female, in my 20s, and definitely not a dad.

Dad jokes were once considered a bad thing, but they’re now celebrated by millions. They’re a staple of social media and have even been studied by academics. While the exact origin of the term dad joke is unknown, a writer for the Gettysburg Times quoted it in June 1987, under the headline “Don’t ban the ‘Dad’ jokes; preserve and revere them.” What we know for sure is that good dad jokes usually involve puns and lame wordplay but can also include references from pop culture like movies or TV shows that few people under 30 would be able to understand. If you’re looking for some help to expand your repertoire of funny dad jokes, this article is made for you. Enjoy the best dad jokes, and have fun driving your kids up the wall!

#1

dad joke for kids To the person who stole my place in line: "I’m after you now."

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#2

My dog is a genius. I asked him, "What's two minus two?" He said nothing.

Report

#4

What’s the easiest way to burn 1,000 calories?

Leave the pizza in the oven.

Report

#5

dad joke for kids To the person who stole my depression medication: "I hope you're happy now."

Report

Add photo comments
POST
cyanide
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually had that happen irl. A "friend" came over and ended up stealing my antidepressants ?

View more commentsArrow down menu
#6

What's the difference between a "dad joke" and a "bad joke?"

The direction of the first letter.

Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#8

How do you cure a fear of a speed bump?

You slowly get over it.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#9

Mom asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list. Now I can't see anything.

Report

#10

I was once a personal trainer until I gave a too-weak notice.

Report

#11

dad joke for kids I want to name my puppies Rolex and Timex so I can have watch dogs.

Report

#12

To the person who stole my bed: "I won't rest until I find you."

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#13

To the person who stole my case of energy drinks: "I bet you can't sleep at night."

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#14

dad joke for kids I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.

Report

#15

My therapist told me I have problems expressing my emotions. Can’t say I’m surprised.

Report

#16

What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing. They just waved.

Report

#18

Mom said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#19

I'm reading an anti-gravity book, and I just can't put it down!

Report

#20

My boss asked me why I only get sick on workdays. I said it must be my weekend immune system.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#21

I can tolerate algebra, maybe even a little calculus but geometry is where I draw the line.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#22

dad joke for kids RIP, boiling water. You will be mist.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#23

I ordered a chicken and an egg online. I’ll let you know what comes first.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#24

I finally watched that documentary on clocks. It was about time.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#25

dad joke for kids How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?

You follow the fresh prints.

Report

#26

To the person who stole my glasses: "I will find you. I have contacts."

Report

#27

How do you know carrots are good for your eyesight?

Have you ever seen a bunny wearing glasses?

Report

#28

I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#29

I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
Smalltoid
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did you hear about Oxygen and Magnesium? They were introduced and bonded immediately. OMg! The chemistry between those two!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#30

dad joke for kids My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#31

Why are peppers the best at archery?

Because they habanero.

Report

#32

Why is it hard to understand volunteers?

Because they make no cents.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#33

What concert costs just 45 cents?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback!

Report

#34

What did the slow tomato say to the others?

Don't worry; I'll ketchup.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#35

I love dad jokes, but I don't have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#36

dad joke for kids Most people can’t tell the difference between entomology and etymology. I can’t find the words for how much this bugs me.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#37

The wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#38

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#39

What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament?

Live stream it.

Report

#40

dad joke for kids Why can’t you ever run through a campsite?

You can only ran — it’s always past tents.

Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#41

To the person who stole my laptop with my copy of Microsoft Office on it: "I will find you. You have my Word!"

Report

Add photo comments
POST
Scott Crowell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And I have a certain set of skills -Word, Excel, Outlook, Internet Explorer

#42

dad joke for kids What did the fish say when he hit the wall?

Dam.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#43

dad joke for kids Did you hear the rumor about butter?

Better not spread it.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#44

How does a musician win a fight?

They call for Bach up.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#45

Kid: Why are you talking to yourself, Dad??

Dad: I needed an expert's advice.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#46

dad joke for kids Want to hear a long joke?

Jooooooooooooooke.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#47

Your mom and I let astrology get between us. It just Taurus apart.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#48

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#49

I’m friends with almost all the letters of the alphabet. I just don’t know Y.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#50

I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#51

dad joke for kids A magician was walking down the street — then he turned into a store.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#52

dad joke for kids It’s raining cats and dogs, so be careful not to step in a poodle.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#53

I used to be able to play piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#54

I decided to sell the vacuum cleaner — it was just gathering dust!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#55

If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Report

#56

I just paid $100 for a belt that doesn’t fit — what a huge waist!

Report

#57

dad joke for kids Can anyone tell me what oblivious means, because I have no idea.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#58

I love telling Dad jokes. Sometimes, he even laughs.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#59

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#60

Why don’t astronomers like Orion’s Belt?

It’s a big waist of space.

Report

#61

dad joke for kids What did the photon say to the hotel bellhop?

No luggage, I’m traveling light.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#62

What’s the difference between a badly dressed kid on a bicycle and a well dressed kid on a tricycle?

Attire!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#63

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#64

How does Darth Vader like his toast?

On the dark side.

Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#65

Kid: Dad, how do I look?

Dad: With your eyes.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#66

Kid: Dad, can you put my shoes on?

Dad: No, I don't think they'll fit me.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#67

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#68

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#69

Why do skeletons stay so calm?

Because nothing gets under their skin.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#70

dad joke for kids Why did the bicycle keep falling over?

It was two tired.

Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#71

dad joke for kids Did you ever notice ants don't get sick?

They're full of anty-bodies.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#72

A guy walked into a bar, and lost the limbo contest.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#73

Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#74

dad joke for kids Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#75

dad joke for kids At first, I thought my chiropractor wasn’t any good, but now I stand corrected.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#76

I'd avoid the sushi if I were you — it's a little fishy!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#77

I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting in the middle of identical twins — I couldn’t differentiate between them.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#78

dad joke for kids Mom says I have no sense of direction, so I packed my bags and right.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#79

Why did the computer get mad at the printer?

Because it didn’t like its toner voice.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#80

What's ET short for?

Because he's only got tiny legs!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#81

dad joke for kids What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?

He puts his PJ-Amazon.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#82

Kid: Dad, can you put the cat out?

Dad: I didn't know it was on fire.

Report

#83

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#84

My kid just asked me "Can I have this, apple?"

Guess he doesn’t know my name is Dad.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#85

I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.

Report

#86

Mom texted me from the grocery store to say they’re out of pasta, and we’re penneless.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#87

My toddler is refusing to nap. He’s guilty of resisting a rest.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#88

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows — they're making headlines!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#89

Why can’t you send a duck to space?

Because the bill would be astronomical.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#90

dad joke for kids What happened when the world's tongue-twister champion got arrested?

They gave him a tough sentence.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#91

Why did an old man fall in a well?

Because he couldn’t see that well!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#92

What do you call a fish with no eye?

A fsh.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#93

What breed of dog can jump higher than a skyscraper?

Any breed of dog. Skyscrapers can’t jump.

Report

#94

dad joke for kids What state is known for its tiny beverages?

Minnesota.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#95

Did you hear about the square that got into a car accident?

Yeah, now he’s a rect-angle!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#96

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow?

It is either one or the utter.

Report

#97

What’s red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

Report

#98

dad joke for kids Why did the coffee go to the police?

To report a mugging.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#99

Did you hear about the king who was exactly 12 inches tall?

He was a great ruler!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#100

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#101

To the person who stole my diary and then died: "My thoughts are with your family."

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#102

dad joke for kids Kid: I’ll call you later.

Dad: No, call me Dad.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#103

What does a house always wear to a party?

Address.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#104

Why are elevator jokes so good?

They work on many levels.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#105

Why did the broom decide to go to bed?

It was very sweepy.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#106

dad joke for kids What type of coordination was Whitney Houston most famous for?

“Hand eeeeyeeeeee!"

Report

#107

Kid: I’m cold.

Dad: Then go sit in the corner — it’s 90 degrees!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#108

Why did the math problem look so sad?

Because of all its problems.

Report

#109

Why don't crabs give to charity?

Because they're shell-fish.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#110

dad joke for kids Dad tells kids: Here’s a cautionary tale. Don’t sing in the shower!

Kids: What?? Why not?

Dad: If you get soap in your mouth, it will turn into a soap opera.

Kids: GROAN!!!!!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#111

What do you call someone with no nose and no body?

Nobody knows.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#112

Kid to Dad: Why are there balloons in the bathroom?

Dad: I wanted to throw you a birthday potty.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#113

How many apples are growing on that tree?

All of them.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#114

dad joke for kids I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#115

Two peanuts went walking down the street. One was assaulted.

Report

#116

Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him. That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#117

I wanted to eat a watch for lunch, but it was too time-consuming.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#118

dad joke for kids We’re renovating the house, and the first floor is going great, but the second floor is another story.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
Scott Crowell
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sound like your trying to tell me a about a good and bad story

#119

Every night, I have a hard time remembering something, but then it dawns on me.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#120

I was going to go on an expensive vacation with a classical pianist, but he was too baroque.

Report

#121

What side of a tree grows the most branches?

The outside!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#122

dad joke for kids What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon?

“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#123

Why are nurses always running out of red crayons?

Because they often have to draw blood.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#124

What do you call an illegally parked frog?

Toad.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#125

What did the police officer say to his belly button?

You’re under a vest.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#126

dad joke for kids When did they find water on the moon?

When it was waning!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#127

What do you call a hippie’s wife?

Mississippi.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#128

Why is the cow always smiling?

It’s in a good mooood I guess.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
Scott Crowell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it's always eating the grass man. (yes I was born in the 60's man)

#129

When does a regular joke become a “dad joke?”

When it becomes apparent.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#130

dad joke for kids What’s Forrest Gump’s email password?

1Forrest1.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#131

Kid: Dad, I’m hungry.

Dad: Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#132

Kid: Dad, I hurt my foot!

Dad: Well, what’d you do that for?

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#133

Kid: What’s that?

Dad: It’s a henweigh.

Kid: What’s a henweigh?

Dad: About two pounds.

Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#134

dad joke for kids Why did the coach go to the bank?

To get his quarter back.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#135

Why do melons have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#136

Dad to kid: Where are French fries from?

Kid: France?

Dad to kid: Greece!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#137

What do you call a 12-inch nose?

A foot.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#138

dad joke for kids Why was the woman afraid for the calendar?

She said its days were numbered.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#139

Dad: What’s this vegetable called?

Kid: An artichoke.

Dad: Well, it may have choked Artie, but it won’t choke Dad!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT
#140

How do celebrities stay cool?

They have lots of fans.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#141

Kid: Dad, it hurts when I move my arm like this.

Dad: Then don’t move your arm like that.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#142

dad joke for kids Did you hear about the dad who chugged 8 sodas?

He burped 7-Up.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#143

What do you call a fish with four eyes?

Fiiiish!

Report

Add photo comments
POST
#144

Kid: Dad, can you make me a sandwich?

Dad: Poof! You’re a sandwich.

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ADVERTISEMENT