I'm shocked that this lazy a*s father is VERY focused on this particular chore? You will most definitely resent or even hate your father if he keeps pushing this rubbish. WTF does the sitter do? Is it that he's a tight fisted t**t who pays a "babysitter" who can't/won't cook because they're inexperienced. Your father should employ a sitter that can look after their needs. Guaranteed your father wants to eventually eek out the sitter then voila... unpaid sitter and cook at the detriment of studies/work/family time which every young person needs to have a fulfilling and a happy healthy life! He's not going to let this happen. As soon as you can, only see him on your terms, even if it's just you and dad. I have a feeling you're reaching the end of your tether. You're a very strong person and I'm so impressed by your writing!! You're going to be fine. I just hope your father realises he's pushing you away before it's too late!!!!!

How to lose kids and alienate people.

And in 10 years or so he's gonna wonder why his kids won't talk to him. Good way to push your kids away.

The sitter can cook a meal. You can not be in 2 places at once. If you were to start cooking for the step children I bet the sitter will start not turning up, all arranged by your Dad. Time to record your interactions with your Dad, and go back to the Judge. You shouldn't have to put up with this. And if my ex talked to me like that, he'd get it back, in spades.

From now on, when "required" to be there, go. Then immediately leave and go to the library, go to parks, spend as little time there as possible. Don't talk to him, go Grey Rock and give minimal answers.

I mean, the whole reason he makes food for the other kids is coz he's already in the house with them. Wild to expect anyone to make a special trip to cook for anyone...

“You blatantly favor your blood relatives over strangers!” Of course he does; who doesn’t? (I’m talking the majority here, not outlier situations.) What an insane thing to say; he seems unable to grasp the obvious, and I’d laugh if someone said that to me. (Neither of my sisters speaks to me, yet I’d favor them over strangers 100% of the time.)

Dad is giving Lady Tremaine vibes. Kid needs to stick to his guns and say no. He'll only have his self to blame when kid goes NC once he turns 18!!

C.O.N.T.R.O.L. This isn't about cooking, blending a family or building a bond between OP and his step siblings. This dad has some serious issues and I hope Mom takes this to a parenting coordinator/judge, because at 16 OP is old enough to testify that is impacting his mental health, and that father is intentionally creating a hostile environment as punishment.

The kids dad heard 1. The kid that doesn't want to visit him takes care of his siblings when they are at their mom's 2. How can I convince him to come full time to my place to babysit all 4 kids half the time and the two step kids half the time so we don't have to pay a babysitter. 3. If he cooks, he should do it for the whole family, it isn't fair my ex wife gets these benefits for free and I don't.

NTA, but your father DEFINITELY is! I don't understand this AT ALL! If they're paying a sitter, why can't she make them something to eat? Also, a 10 and 7 year old should be perfectly capable of making a frigging sandwich! It's not YOUR responsibility. You cook for your own siblings out of LOVE, not because you HAVE to. By the way, you SHOULD love your siblings more because you've lived with them for their entire lives! You've only known your steps for the past year! Your father is being EXTREMELY UNFAIR to you!!!

I'm sorry your dad is such a jerk. Why can't the sitter fix the step kids dinner since she has a couple hours until the parents come home? You have school work and just being a kid to do. I'm proud you help your mom around the house and cook for them sometimes. That's really sweet of you. DON'T let your dad talk you into doing the cooking. He's being manipulative. He needs to ask that sitter or they need to do what parents do, feed your own kids! That's such nerve asking you. Keep being the sweet kid that you are.

OP should avoid telling his dad he's crazy. If the dad hits him, he can justify it by saying OP was disrespectful. If OP just stays with not my problem, or I don't care about them - if dad continues to insist, OP can go to court and stop the visits. OP should also record his dad so he can prove what's happening

NTA. Repeat to him over and over, 'Parentification is abuse. I'm not here to provide parenting responsibilities you chose to take on'. Tbh, I'd go with the suggestion of recording him doing to you over and over and go back to the judge and start making an evidence trail of texts and messages v. speaking to him orally. Personally I think the dad's end goal is to manipulate his son to take over the afterschool care the sitter is doing, for free, ofc. If they want their kids fed before they get home they need to pay the babysitter to do it. Also I'd see about getting a weekend job, that way you spend as little time as possible with this so-called dad until you can work towards not having to visit him at all. Do NOT cave to his manipulation. 'Parenting children is your job.'

Just tell your father you have to go home and do homework. If you went to his place, he would probably decide that since you are there anyway he may as well save on the cost of a sitter as you can babysit as well

Aas a sitter it was MY JOB to feed the kids before parents came home, that was part if what they were paying me to do!

the op is 16 no judge in any land can or does force a kid of-that age infact over the age of 12 they go by what the child wants well they do in uk n im pretty sure they will in usa etc to refuse to go your not his slave and i can see why u mum divorced him you will be happier in the long run speaking from experience

What state is this that a judge would make you visit at age 16?

A simple go f**k yourself and those kids should suffice

Get yourself emancipated then you to could get out of mandatory visits

I was looking after my baby brother when I was 11, so at ten, that kid could fix something simple for him and the younger sibling. Time to empower those kids instead of guilting the oldest one.

I feel so bad for these kids. All of them but especially the little ones. The people who are supposed to love and care for them don't. Where is their father? Maybe he can love them properly.

This is just dad's way to get a step closer to saving money on after-school babysitter. "If you're here cooking for them, you can spend time with them..." Visitation agreements are intended for parents to spend time with their child when they don't have full custody. Why would OP come to his father's house if the father isn't there? Dad needs to value that he has weekends with OP, because court ordered visitations do not extend into the child's adulthood.

I think ya''ll missing the real issue - the Dad is trying to unify siblings with step-siblings. I don't think it is really about cooking. Given the ages of the step-siblings, OP is being a weenie. OP should try to get to know new family members.