Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Dad Ignores 5YO Son’s Grief When Mom Dies, Son Returns The Favor When His Stepmom Dies

Dad Ignores 5YO Son’s Grief When Mom Dies, Son Returns The Favor When His Stepmom Dies

ADVERTISEMENT

Naming a baby is a rare privilege and not something to be taken lightly. In most cases, expecting parents spend months (if not years) deliberating over the moniker that will stay with their child for life. In short, it’s one of life’s most momentous decisions. 

For one man, he and his wife’s decision to name their unborn child after his mother has led to significant tension between him and his dad. Irked, the guy turned to the web for advice.

More info: Reddit

RELATED:

    Naming a baby is a big deal, but this man is facing uphill from his dad about his decision

    Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    In honor of his late mother, the man and his wife decided to name their unborn child after her 

    Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    The couple kept the name secret, but the man’s father said there was no point in that since the child would obviously be named after the guy’s stepmother

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    Image credits: Vlada Karpovich / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    When he found out that wasn’t in fact the case, he exploded at his son and tried to guilt trip him into changing his mind

    Image credits: Known_Marketing6374

    The guy told his dad that it was his and his wife’s decision to make, but still turned to netizens to ask if denying his dad’s wish was a jerk move

    ADVERTISEMENT

    OP begins his story by telling the community that he and his dad have a complicated relationship, then goes on to add that his dad and mom divorced when he was just a baby, but that his mother died when he was 5. By the time his mom passed, OP’s dad had already remarried and had another child, ignoring OP’s grief after losing his mom.

    He then goes on to say that, when he was 13, his dad asked him to ask his stepmom if she would adopt him. When OP said no, his dad threw a minor tantrum but never brought it up again.

    OP tells the readers that his stepmom passed away three-and-a-half years back. He and his wife were engaged at the time and planning the wedding, but 6 months after his stepmom passed, his dad asked him how he could possibly move forward with the happy occasion, to which OP replied he still wanted to get married. 

    Now that the couple is pregnant with a little girl, they’ve decided to name the baby after his biological mom. Despite them keeping it a secret, OP’s dad told everyone in the family that she’d obviously be named after his late wife. When OP told him that wasn’t the case, his dad flipped.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    OP’s dad then demanded a one-on-one with him, telling him that his stepmother should be honored since she’d basically raised him. OP refused, but his dad has since accused him of invalidating his grief, leaving OP to ask netizens if naming his kid after his mom and not his stepmom is a jerk move.

    Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)

    From what OP tells us in his post, it seems pretty obvious that his dad is acting entitled. After all, what business is it of his who his son chooses to name his own kid after? Surely that’s a parent’s right? So, how should OP handle his demanding dad? We went looking for answers.

    In her article for VeryWellMind, Arlin Cuncic writes that a sense of entitlement is a personality trait based on the belief that someone deserves special treatment for something they didn’t earn. In short, entitled people believe that the world owes them something. 

    Some signs of a sense of entitlement include a need for recognition even when it’s not due, high or unreasonable demands, expecting others to do things for them, always prioritizing their own needs, and a persistent victim mentality. 

    ADVERTISEMENT

    In her article for Quick and Dirty Tips, Dr. Monica Johnson writes that there are several strategies that can be used to cope with entitled people, both in personal and professional settings. A few of these include practicing assertiveness, setting boundaries, and validating the entitled person’s emotions without giving in.

    While OP stood his ground and clearly explained his position to his overbearing father, perhaps an even firmer stance might be necessary to shut the topic down once and for all.

    What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think his dad should have any say in the naming, or is it really none of his business? Let us know your opinion in the comments!  

    In the comments, readers swiftly concluded that the man was not being a jerk and suggested his father get some therapy on the double   

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    Share on Facebook
    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. I love live music, whether it's in a massive stadium or an intimate club setting.

    Read less »
    Ivan Ayliffe

    Ivan Ayliffe

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    After twenty years in advertising, I've decided to try my hand at journalism. I'm lucky enough to be based in Cape Town, South Africa and use every opportunity I get to explore everything it has to offer, both indoors and out. When I'm not reading, writing, or listening to podcasts, I spend my time swimming in the ocean, running mountain trails, and skydiving. While I haven't travelled as much as I'd like, I did live in !ndia, which was an incredible experience. I love live music, whether it's in a massive stadium or an intimate club setting.

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    Read less »

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Monika Pašukonytė

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

    What do you think ?
    Add photo comments
    POST
    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    1 day ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Parents name their child, end of. No other relatives get a say. Not sure why people can't grasp this in the 21st century. As they say in the ecology debate - the world was not given to us by our parents, it was lent to us by our children. Grandparents don't get to dictate the future.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP may need to go low to no contact with dad since he refuses grief therapy. Not to mention - where was dad's "caring" when OP lost his mom when he was FIVE YEARS OLD???

    Libstak
    Community Member
    1 day ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stupid man, he is also in this process denying his late wifes biological children the option of honouring their mum with her name when they have a child, unless he expects every female grandchild to carry the same name. Anyhoo, clearly NTA and time to create real distance.

    Load More Comments
    Apatheist Account2
    Community Member
    1 day ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Parents name their child, end of. No other relatives get a say. Not sure why people can't grasp this in the 21st century. As they say in the ecology debate - the world was not given to us by our parents, it was lent to us by our children. Grandparents don't get to dictate the future.

    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 day ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP may need to go low to no contact with dad since he refuses grief therapy. Not to mention - where was dad's "caring" when OP lost his mom when he was FIVE YEARS OLD???

    Libstak
    Community Member
    1 day ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stupid man, he is also in this process denying his late wifes biological children the option of honouring their mum with her name when they have a child, unless he expects every female grandchild to carry the same name. Anyhoo, clearly NTA and time to create real distance.

    Load More Comments
    You May Like
    Related on Bored Panda
    Related on Bored Panda
    Trending on Bored Panda
    Also on Bored Panda