Of course he's an as.shole and he knows it : that's why he didn't mention babysitting before. Like one of the comments says I hope his kids would surprise him by cancelling last minute.

Babysitting two days isn’t bad at all. Saying a vacation is free and then dumping your kids on other people last minute is. Imagine if it was the other way around and his kids paid for vacation but expected him to babysit two days. Or even if this was done to friends instead of children. For a free vacation, I’d have no problem babysitting but the last minute “oh by the way” isn’t cool at all. Also why dictate when family time is to grown adults after everything is settled? Really seems like this guy should start stating the conditions up front.

This is exactly why I always pay for my own things! OP should have mentioned the babysitting as a condition for going on the trip. The fact that he didn't clearly indicates that he knows no one would be going with him if they knew about the babysitting beforehand.

If I was put into this situation, I would cancel and tell him to shove the trip up his jacksy, sideyways. This is just pure manipulation...."I've paid for your trip, now you are my servant".

Dude got spanked and rightly so. A gift with "strings" isn't a gift, it's a transaction.

"Especially as I am bankrolling their vacation." This line is why OP is TA. This isn't a gift, which have no strings.

Another vacation babysitting trap. Total d**k move on dad's part.

It's really interesting how the people who are saying that he isn't the a*****e are so zealous and d**k-ish. Apparently, if you think it's wrong to expect labor of people without asking them then you're stupid and childless and c***s and ridiculous and spiteful and selfish and are children ourselves and have Daddy issues and are emotionally stunted and nuts and nepo-babies and apparently use child slave labor and so on... What an insane overreaction to a story that literally has nothing to do with you and a supremely s****y way to treat people you've never met. Honestly, why would anyone take your advice for how to be a good person when you sound like nothing but massive a******s? For f***s sake-- save your outrage for something that actually matters, people.

The NTAs are the ones huffing glue for once this time wow. The issue was never babysitting, as they've misconstrued it purposefully to be. As the YTAs said it was a lack of communication coupled with past actions. No c**p they could have paid for their own vacation or stayed at home if they didn't like it, but oh wait they were never informed in a reasonable amount of time. To paint the older kids as entitled is so out of line here. Sheesh.

Let's be real here the daughter is going to get stuck doing all the babysitting. The brother and his girlfriend will just leave and she can't stop that. Dad is the a*****e plain and simple. He wants 2 nights and one whole day. Hire a babysitter. Daughter do yourself a favor and STAY HOME!!!!

As the oldest of 7 kids, I spent most of my teen and even younger years taking care of siblings. Two of them are 17 and 19 years YOUNGER than me, and even got to the point of calling ME mama on their own. These days we can't stand each other and do not speak. I live with the sister just younger than me, and on good terms with the one born in '65, occasionally speak to my lone brother ( born in '63), and have a rather contentious relationship with the '60 one. I'd have done almost anything to get out of that house, away from my mother (as my dad did!) and away from all those whining, obnoxious kids. It took YEARS to get over that. I'd NEVER go on a vacation with all of them regardless of who was paying.

Most cruises have children’s programs with cruise staff. Why don’t they just take advantage of that?

Let's play math for a minute here. So, if the previous vacation happened in 2019, that's five years ago. That means the eldest son was 20, the daughter was 16, and she had to care for the 9, 8, and 5 year old.

Am I the only one who thought the OP was a woman? Idk why but it came off to me that a woman was writing and not a man.

It's not about babysitting. It's about being treated like people. OP not only assumed the babysitting would happen, he ASSIGNED DAYS and made plans without breathing a word to anyone. He's acting like his adult children are still little kids he can assign chores to, not treating them like reasonable autonomous adults. Nobody likes to be ordered around, or treated as if they are so far beneath the mighty lord's notice taht he doesn't even need to discuss things with him.

Yes totally. He is not asking his adult kids to babysit everyday. A family needs to ensure that everyone is having fun. As he ensured that the adult kids can do stuff with their partners independently

Am I the only one that thinks he's only an a*****e for not discussing it first? It seems like he's planned for everyone to have time to them selves. Isn't it only 2 nights out of 10? It doesn't seem unreasonable... Edit: if it would honestly be 2 nights only and it is a family holiday so why would they not spend most of their time together? I would love the opportunity to take my MIL (grhs) away on a family holiday and spend all the time as a family

Two nights and one day out of a ten day Caribbean vacation. The kids are 14, 13, 10 and 5. It would have been better to have mentioned it as the plans were made, but I can't imagine being so entitled and ungrateful that I'd have a fit about such a small part of the vacation helping out the person who provided it. Plus, other than the five year old, it's their siblings, so is it really so bad to spend some time together? Too many people act like they can demand everything but god forbid they are asked anything in return, it's so unfair! What's unfair is raising kids who think all they should ever do is take, take, take without ever giving.

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I think what the OP is asking for on the trip, 2 days out of 10, is very reasonable for a paid vacation. What makes him the a hole is not being upfront about it first.

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Another thing: My in laws rent a cottage every summer and invite all of their married kids with their kids to come with them (this is over ten kids under the age of 12). Those of us adults who are early risers end up doing morning babysitting, those of us who are food-focused end up cooking and those of us who hate mess tidy up after everyone. I am not keeping a record of whose kids who are not mine I gave breakfast while their parent slept in, or how many people I made lunch for. I am not just caring for my kids and the rest of the family be damned bc they're not mine. I pull for my nieces and nephews bc I love my in laws and their kids and grandkids. I don't want everything falling on my MILs shoulders. Do some people do less? Probably. But that person will probably take my kid fishing and make a great memory or something like that because we are there as a family who loves each other. No one had to set up an expectation beforehand and give us an opt out button.

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Absolutely reasonable. They were asked to babysit 2 nights of a 10 day vacation. They were also given 2 nights to do their own thing with no other family attached. What’s the big deal? These people suck and I’m so thankful my family doesn’t act like that!

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y'all going to be the same people in 5 years criticizing the father for not babysitting his grandchildren. "I'd go NC with my father if he wouldn't help me with my kids...."