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There’s something about asterisks in a text message that causes a very high probability of annoying the person who receives it—partly because putting this seemingly innocent typographical symbol * is about being extra. Like, telling what’s in the back of your mind without uttering it, revealing your inner emotions that nobody really wants to know, and worst, *nodding the head* to creep the heck out of the recipient. Yep, some asterisks are seriously chilling.

The Reddit community r/CreepyAsterisks2 has been documenting the most absurd, cringey, and plain scary asterisks screenshotted in text messages.

From *sigh*-inducing pickup lines to plain bizarre cases of expressing one’s motion in text, like *leaning closer,* this subreddit is the uncharted terrain of the kind of messaging style that doesn’t work that well for communicating. So let’s see some of the most cringe-inducing examples that will make you curl up like Arby’s curly fries.

#1

He's Been Begging For Weeks To Do A "Sexy Roleplay" With Me. I Finally Said Yes. I Think He Regrets Everything Now

He's Been Begging For Weeks To Do A "Sexy Roleplay" With Me. I Finally Said Yes. I Think He Regrets Everything Now

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    #3

    At Least He's Achieved Multiple Awards With His 147 Iq

    At Least He's Achieved Multiple Awards With His 147 Iq

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    Jihana
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What the hell? The pure fact that men like this exist makes me wanna hide in some remote location with no internet

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    These days, everything we do is via texts. We fall in love, we break up, we check on a friend, we send birthday wishes, we talk to mom and dad. Picking up the phone feels so last season, but this study says that too much texting can be harmful to our relationships.

    The research conducted by Brigham Young University suggested that committed couples who use text messages to figure out their arguments can become disconnected. This is because text arguing lowers relationship quality, which essentially needs genuine face-to-face communication. 

    At the same time, texting is now a quintessential part of any dating game. We know that millennials are not that much into going on dates, but texting back and forth is a whole different thing. And thanks to the worldwide pandemic, it’s not going anywhere soon. 

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    #5

    *lays Across Your Lap*

    *lays Across Your Lap*

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    #6

    Now Listen Here Missy

    Now Listen Here Missy

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    Jihana
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel the strong urge to bleach my eyes. Nubian Goddess? darkie waifu? What the hell

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    So is there a way to actually have a meaningful text conversation with someone you’re into? It turns out, this is super difficult. Because according to experts, virtual dating is not the same as real dating, and texting shouldn’t be confused with being in a relationship. 

    Modern dating coach Sami Wunder warns us to beware of the texting trap. Sami, who teaches women rational dating, says that going all into the first man who shows interest is the worst way to go. "You don't want to text with men too much because the more you text, the more virtual it gets."

    #7

    What A Birch

    What A Birch

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    Charlotte
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where are these pathetic little losers learning this s**t? Do they really think broadcasting this internal monologue of Misogyny for Dummies is a turn on? Did someone do a webinar? “How to dry up vaginas in 10 sentences or fewer”

    Helen Haley
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually broke up with a man when he revealed he thought men were inherently smarter.

    Aamna Shah
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is standard incel behavior. Act creepy and invasive while playing the nice guy and when someone confronts them and tells them to back off, call them a stuck up bitch.

    Vorknkx
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't you just hate it when you text with someone and they turn out to be a birch?

    Hilary Mol
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, gotta study that "boilogy". You know, making pasta and stuff.

    Calypso
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when you think someone's a nice girl but they turn out to be a tree. So deceitful...

    Mikhael Barreto
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Remember that post full of insane rejected incels? I can't believe this is even crazier, three posts in. @_@

    Bizianka
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is this some incel's instruction of weird communication with * and IQ?

    Marcellus the Third
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This will be in court as an exhibit in his journey from loser to incel to hate-crime murderer.

    pusheen buttercup
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When are people going to learn they can't act superior when they face rejection, it's not "mean" to not like someone and turn them down. also acting superior leads to rejection and reacting to other's hurt feelings with anger instead of politeness is doomed. Also do not just start rping without consent!! That is sexual harassment.

    Phoenix
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is it with some of these and not knowing how to spell. You ain’t gonna get a girl over text with roleplay and spelling mistakes smh

    StormWolf
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Self-deflection. It's clear he is the birch here, possessing the smallest of twigs too...

    Janine B.
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which proves again that a high IQ doesn't obviously make you smarter.

    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There’s no proof that his IQ is even high, so this couldn’t be proof of anything else.

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    Sent From The Slytherin House
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Men tend to be stronger, stupid head. I think you forgot the negative sign right before that 159

    Johanna Mueller
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ugh.....its so annoying when you go a blind date and the girl is actually a stripey looking tree 🙄

    Si
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually women have higher IQs than men on average

    Pearl Of the SeaWing RainWings
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If a dude ever said that to me I would full on rip the nearest tree out of the ground and slam it into his thick ego-infested head.

    Katinka Min
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somebody in 2020 is actualyl writing 'you are samrt for a girl'??? Who the f**k did it happen that my generation and part of the one before me AND the one after me have fought for emancipation so hard and this s**t is still happening???

    Emilingo (strawberry seeds)
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think he’s a certified idiot. And it’s ‘biologically’ proven that women do worse in tests (IQ) and competitions because of the stereotype that women can’t be smart.

    Blue
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes. surely he thought he was talking to a nice oak, turns out it was actually a birch. Dang it.

    Zophra
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    boilogy??? (made me laugh since I'm a biology teacher...)

    Who? Me?
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, yes you are talking to a birch tree. May I block you now ?

    JRibax
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    JRibax
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    Petrified Pigeon
    Community Member
    3 years ago

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    Marilyn Monroe had a higher IQ than Einstein, and woman are the least aggressive gender.

    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds like something you read on a Facebook boomer meme. I looked it up, and it is. You just read that somewhere and didn’t question it’s validity. Ironic AF considering the topic of intelligence lol. The best source on this one is fuçking REDBULL LMAO. You’re already on the internet! It’s so easy to just look things up, remember?

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    #9

    Found This Screenshot From Last April In My Phone

    Found This Screenshot From Last April In My Phone

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    According to Sami, “The more available you become in their heads, the less likely they are to ask you out for an actual meeting. Because honestly, there are men out there who just want a beautiful penpal."

    Penpalling may sound like a good idea for some, but if you’re looking for true and meaningful relationships, you may opt for a real date. But as long as most of us are all in quarantine, a video call may as well do the job.

    #11

    You Know, A Usual Hooking Up Tactic

    You Know, A Usual Hooking Up Tactic

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    Brett
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His tail what’s a tail or is this a monkey (please explain not being rude)

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    #13

    Unlike You I Know How Facebook Works

    Unlike You I Know How Facebook Works

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    Levity Camilleri
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unlike you I know how Facebook works... Well unlike you I know how being not a creepy weirdo works but we can't all have everything can we?

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    #15

    I'll Just Decide Your Personality For You

    I'll Just Decide Your Personality For You

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    Brett
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me:*slowly grabs something from under me*...it’s bleach *slowly unscrews lid dumps whole container into my eyes* all better now!

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    #16

    I Guess The Expected Reaction Was Supposed To Be: "Omg No Sry R U Ok Cutie? ;^;"

    I Guess The Expected Reaction Was Supposed To Be: "Omg No Sry R U Ok Cutie? ;^;"

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    Flisey
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do you know they squirm? You can lick their feet but you can't tell them how to act. Role play 101 people!

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    #17

    This Was A Classic

    This Was A Classic

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    Jihana
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *muzzles the doggy, puts him in a crate and takes him to the vet to get neutered*

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    #18

    *Sweats On You*

    *Sweats On You*

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    Brett
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m so confused he held the door open for her and she is not madly in love with him is there something wrong with this girl?! (It’s a joke)

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    #19

    Mmh Yuss :3

    Mmh Yuss :3

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    Mere Cat
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least this one: 1) Respected the NO 2) Apologised 3) Didn't start insulting

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    #20

    Y... You Like Anime?

    Y... You Like Anime?

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    DKS 001
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ugh ... why do they think rpg is the way to a girl's heart? Just be straight up and honest. You have a boner, your hormones are raging. Either way, the answer is no. The girl will let you know if she's interested in you. Else, leave her the f**k alone.

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    #23

    Le Gentleman

    Le Gentleman

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    Ooooomangos
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He’s the co-founder of whocares CO. That’s the only good thing about this.

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    #24

    M’lady

    M’lady

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    Marcellus the Third
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On the one hand, this is about the only entry that doesn't go for full-on sexual aggression so should be commended; on the other hand, the other entries show that it's just on "OK?"-response away from that.

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    #25

    I’m Just Gonna Randomly Text This Person!

    I’m Just Gonna Randomly Text This Person!

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    Jihana
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why use a word you think the girl will not understand in the first place? Instead of using a complicated word to make yourself feel smart, and then describe it to make the girl feel dumb, just use the less complicated word.

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    #26

    Not Trying To Get You Drunk!

    Not Trying To Get You Drunk!

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    #27

    Just Some Accidental Chest Touching, No Need To Be Alarmed

    Just Some Accidental Chest Touching, No Need To Be Alarmed

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    #28

    Why

    Why

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    Alex K
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    to crush my enemies, see them driven before me , and hear the lamentations of their women

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    #30

    Fancy Face...

    Fancy Face...

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    Vanta Black
    Community Member
    3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe this is exactly how Prince Albert wooed Queen Victoria. "Hey there fancy face, you'd look good on a coin."

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