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Getting engaged is supposed to be an exciting and happy day. But sometimes things go south. Whether it’s a planned proposal or totally spontaneous, I doubt many people willingly pop the question expecting to hear a big, resounding “no”.

There’s unfortunately no shortage of engagements gone wrong, as this thread revealed. Keep scrolling for some of the most terrible times people were left red-faced, rejected and regretting their life choices. And don’t miss the heartwarming chat Bored Panda had with someone who turned down several marriage proposals, before finally saying "yes!" and tying the knot well into their sixties.

#1

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I got proposed to on my 18th birthday in front of my family and friends. He was my boyfriend at the time and such a gentle, kind soul. When he got on one knee, the whole room went silent and it was really scary for me and evidently for him also. The silence wasn't of excitement, it was of fear and pity for the poor young man who popped the question impulsively and far too soon.

I had to say no, we had Uni soon and obviously we were far too young. This really hurt our relationship and made it extremely awkward for the next month and somewhat for the next year but I think he grew to understand it and be thankful that I refused as we moved in two years after that and struggled a lot with money and University.

He proposed again when I was 25 when he took me to the lake where we met with the friend who introduced us, Kaitlyn and all our loved ones showing up after I said yes. We were together for 16 years altogether, married for 6 and had a gorgeous girl. Unfortunately, he died in a car accident on the way to work.

Sorry to make this all long but ours is the only relationship I know of that didn't fall apart after an untimely proposal.

Edit: Thank you everybody for your kind wishes and merry Christmas to you all! Also thank you to kingmario75 for the gold although I do not know what to do with it! :P.

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DudeFortitude (He/Him)
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope they feel better... it's no fun to lose someone you love! We are here for you! ❤️

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I recently heard about someone who got married this year at the tender age of 67. It’s not because they waited for decades for their Prince or Princess Charming to come galloping down the tree-lined driveway on a shiny, white horse. It’s also not because they were going gray waiting for the love of their life to finally pop the question. On the contrary, this woman has had numerous proposals in her life. All from the same man. Each time and every time, she backed out.

You see, this “spinster” was fine with being called that, by friends, family and her generation of society at large. As long as she didn’t have to tie any knots. In case you’ve never heard the word, the Oxford dictionary’s definition of spinster is a derogatory and outdated name for an “unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage”.

So what eventually led her down the aisle in the twilight of her life? Bored Panda tracked her down and she agreed to tell us, provided we call her “Kate”. 

#2

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I'm way late to this thread but here it goes,
My Mom and dad were in a car crash. When my mom went in for x-rays they did test first and found out she was pregnant with me. When my dad found out he proposed to her on the spot neck brace and all. She said no, explaining that she diddnt want to get married just because she was pregnant. My dad started to cry explaining that he had plans to propose on Valentines day and already had a ring. A week later she accepted and they've been married for 22 years.

Broberr , Pixabay/Pexels Report

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Every love story has a beginning so naturally, we asked Kate to start with hers. “We had met at school and had very little interaction. All I can remember was that he was very naughty. He got married and had two children. I met him again just after his divorce was in progress. He actually stopped the traffic so that I could get across a very busy intersection,” she told us.

“He phoned me a few months later and I was determined to get him together with a friend who had also recently gotten divorced, but they did not hit it off. We went out as friends for a while before it turned into more than friends and the first time he mentioned marriage was about 6 months after we started ‘dating’. It was the furthest thing from my mind, so I tried to change the subject.”

#3

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket My boyfriend "proposed" to me once. One night we were lying in bed, and he starts gently kissing my back. He does this pretty often so I didn't think anything of it. Then he says my name and asks me to marry him. I was surprised so I rolled over and looked at him. He was fast asleep. It was adorable that he was dreaming about proposing to me, but obviously not real so I just rolled back over and fell asleep.

He's also called me a tampon in his sleep, so it's not always cute.

almondjoy12 , Kampus Production/Pexels Report

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#4

Overheard her on the phone saying she was worried I was going to propose and that it was time to end it. Ended it then and there.
Already bought the ring...Took it back to the shop I bought it from and kind of broke down trying to explain why I had to return the ring. The girl at the counter demanded to take me out for drinks that night and we had a great time getting pissed whilst laughing at my whole situation.
3 days later, today, she (ring shop girl) left me a message asking if I want to take an impromptu trip away with her over New Years.
Have been staring at the message all day now.

anon Report

“About three years later in 2001, we went away for a weekend for my birthday, and the evening of my birthday, he produced a ring, went down on one knee, and asked me formally to marry him. To say I was completely taken by surprise is an understatement. I had packed, where had he hidden the ring?? In his boot apparently!! When we got home, my entire family was at home with goodies to eat and to celebrate. He had told them that he was going to ask me, and quietly let them know that I had said ‘Yes’. I remember my father asking me that night ‘Are you happy, sweetheart?’. ‘Gobsmacked’ was more like it, but I did not answer.”

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It wasn’t long before Kate regretted her decision. “I suddenly realized I did not want to get married, to be known as ‘Mrs O’. I rather liked my name and wanted to keep it. Also being in charge of my own finances was important to me,” she revealed.

“Over the years he asked me a few times again. I think it was the 5th time that he said he would never ask me to marry him again. I felt I had dodged a bullet.”

#5

Was saving up for a ring, planning to propose, got cheated on the day before I went to buy the ring. Bought a huge bong instead. No regrets.

anon Report

#6

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket Saw it happen at a ball game once, did the whole jumbotron thing with the text and then the closeup of the couple. the girl actually laughed and then you could see the guys dejected face. he started to lump back into his seat and looked like he was going to cry before the jumbotron cut off, and the place started to boo the f**k out of the girl and throw s**t at her. security had to help her get out

kinda f****d up they acted that way, no one knew their story. they could have been on their third date and he was a weirdo or some s**t.

anon , Austin Pacheco/Unsplash Report

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“He proposed more than 5 times, because even though he said he would not do so again after the 5th time, it did come up again in conversation, especially in 2017 when his family also put pressure on us. That year, the subject came up again seriously and he wanted me to set a date. I asked him to give me about 10 months to get over the stress we were having with a client. Needless to say the stress never stopped,” said Kate, adding that she managed to keep the stress going for another five years.

#7

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket The first time I started discussing marriage with my girlfriend we were at dinner. She got pretty freaked out about the whole thing and left the restaurant.


I dropped my credit card on the table and ran after her.


Outside I talked her down, let her realize I was only talking about it and was not proposing. Within a year we were ready for an engagement and she said yes immediately.


We have been married for 7 years and things are going great, happy every day together.

phouck , RDNE Stock project/Pexels Report

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#8

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket Pulled out the ring and she said.. "That better be a promise ring.".

Majora64 , RDNE Stock project/Pexels Report

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Mad Dragon
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3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was harsh. A promise ring is a sort of “engaged to be engaged” ring, sometimes jokingly called, “I promise to get you a better ring when I propose” ring. Hope the guy took it back and walked away.

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#9

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket For my mom it went the other way around. She got rejected after *being proposed to*.
My parent's engagement story is the least romantic one I've ever heard.
They'd only been dating for five weeks at the time, and my dad, without giving her a ring, asked very casually if she'll marry him, and for some reason she said yes. By the way, this didn't go down at a romantic fountain or over a classy dinner. No, it was in my dad's truck right before he dropped her off at home after the date. There was no kneeling, no ring, obviously not much thought put into it. And she said yes.
He then called her the next day to say that he's been thinning about it, and he wants to take back his proposal.
A few days later he changed his mind again and proposed for a second time. And even then, she still said yes.
I don't know how a couple with such a horrible engagement story has lasted now 26 years and are still what everybody calls "the cutest couple."
EDIT: For those who have asked, their relationship is still super strong. My parents have done a bunch of romantic gestures for each other since then (it just happens that this particular gesture was less than romantic). Just two years ago they celebrated their 25th and they renewed their vows and they promised each other at least another 25. They're both great parents and great spouses. I guess it's just not true what they say, that the only couples that make it are the ones who have a cute story.
By the way, their meeting story is also pretty lame. My mom showed up to church for the first time in a neck brace after being in a car accident, and my dad thought asking her if she needed prayer was the perfect opportunity to "get to know the cute new girl." He then said "how does your boyfriend feel about you coming to church by yourself with a broken neck?" To which she responded "I don't have a boyfriend." They were engaged five weeks later.

4clvvess , Rachel Claire/Pexels Report

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Ripley
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Uh huh. My spouse married me for my UK ancestry visa (we're Australian, and my granny was born in England). We wanted to travel and work in the UK, and they only grant spousal visas, not de-facto (common law) visas. "I guess we could get married". "Yeah, we were probably going to do that anyway". We celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in June. 😁

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“In 2023, he arranged for a cruise for us to the Mediterranean and when we got back, he gave me an ultimatum. I married him or he was leaving. I um'd and ar'd and he moved out. He told me he would move back once we were married.” That was a turning point for Kate…

#10

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket Flew to Wisconsin from Texas to surprise her for college graduation. Told her all along I couldn't make it only to surprise her. Arranged a friend to get her there and came around the corner at the perfect time. I stupidly hired a photographer to shoot the moment and after which made it even worse. Got down on one knee and she said yes. We went out to dinner that night and that was where the truth came out. "I only said yes because all those people were there." Seriously, don't do it in public, that was the worst part. Foolishly stuck around for another 1.5 years and broke up. S**t messed me up hard and now I see a therapist regularly.

rude_hotel_guy , Laura Oliveira/Pexels Report

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Shark Lady
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Proposing on a day when your partner is celebrating one of their successes/achievements is not as romantic as some people think. Don't make their special day about you, you are in a supporting role and not the lead character in someone else's story.

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#11

Kinda late to this, but I have to share this story.

So I work in an airport in International Arrivals, so daily I see joyous reunions that are so filled with love that it makes me want to puke. (Can you tell I've been working there for a long time?)


One day, I'm sitting in my store minding my own business, when all of a sudden I hear a trombone. I've seen people play guitar, ukulele, saxophone, and the one time a drum set; but I've never heard a trombone in international arrivals. So the song starts going, and I recognize the tune... It's the Imperial March from Star Wars. I'm confused as f**k, and trying to find out where the hell this is coming from, so I'm scanning the crowd when I see this girl who's face is beet red. I'm assuming she has something to do with whatever the hell is happening, so I keep my eyes on her.

She ends up walking to this guy who (surprise) is playing the trombone. He finishes up the song, passes his trombone to the person next to him (I'm assuming it was his friend), and then gets down on one knee. The girl is about 25 feet away from me, so if there were words exchanged, I did not hear it. *But*, what I did see was the guy smiling, then suddenly look dejected, stand up and walk away from the girl while she just stood there with her face still red like a tomato.



That was super awkward to watch..



**TL;DR Don't propose by playing the Imperial March**.

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#12

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket It was pretty brutal, but she took it ok.

We walked down a beach like normal, it was pretty packed. An airplane flys by with a "Tiffany, Will you marry me? -Tom." She just screams yes, hugs me, and i'm just like W....T....Fuuuuuu..... Staring at the sky not even realizing she has her arms around me. She looks in my eyes and finally figures it out. Quietest, longest, most painful walk home of my life. Wish someone would drown or a boat would explode on fire to change the mood.

What a f****d up coincidence.

plzkillme , Asad Photo Maldives/Pexels Report

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eric p
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should have rolled with it. You know how much a flyby costs? You could have had a fairytale proposal for free!

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“When he moved out, the house was silent and I realized that I really did love and miss him,” she explained. “I decided it was time to find out the legalities of marriage, viz. the antenuptial contract, retaining my name, etc. I found a lawyer to do the contract and found a priest who would marry us at home and one of the first questions he asked was, ‘will you be retaining your name??’ As soon as the ANC was signed, he moved back and we were married 3 months later, in April 2024. I had work commitments which ended on 31 March. We had been engaged for 23 years. Not exactly ‘Guinness Book of Record’ stuff, but close.”

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#13

My husband proposed to someone when he was in the airforce academy. I had found a solitaire in a airforce ring box when we were being moved from one base to another after I had married him. Showed it to him and he just grimaced then told me about it. She was one of those women who just really wanna be a military wife, big military groupie. They had been dating over a year and he found out he was being punted out of the academy and accepted it with grace. Few months later he proposes to her, this cute little solitaire. She just turned him down flat. Turned him down, dumped him right then and there, said she wanted an officer for a husband not some guy who wasn't. He said he was so tempted to throw the ring in the snow, his heart just gutted. He thought she had been the one. He fled back home and took him a month or so to regroup. Apparently even before that, she was not loved at all by the inlaws.

And then he proposed to me about a... year I think into dating - He would hop from upstate NY to ottawa canada to date me. He did it over dinner, no ring, asked me to marry him. He didn't get a ring because I suspect he was worried the same thing would happen. And it did. I told him no, right now I couldn't begin to entertain that, I wasn't sure if he was the one and that I didn't think I was in the right place. He was sad but not devestated. He told me a few years ago that I hadn't actually said no per say but gave him an 'ask me later'. So he waited. Till his birthday after slyly having me pick out my own ring. We will be celebrating ten years in a few months.

Oh, and he eventually did become an Officer. Too bad she didn't say yes. So glad she didn't or I wouldn't have my sweet husband. Did I mention my inlaws love me? And I them.

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#14

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I used to work at a fine dining restaurant and saw a few proposal rejections. The incident that stands out the most is a guy does the whole have the ring brought out with the dessert and proposes. The woman seems shocked and pretty annoyed at the situation and turns him down. One of the servers overheard her say "you're not even my fourth or fifth choice".

Supposedly they had been on only a few dates and he just randomly proposed.

Nicosuave47 , Katerina Holmes/Pexels Report

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alicia
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fourth or fifth choice? LIke she was actively dating that many people, or just wishing it was these other people?

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#15

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket Oh man I feel awkward just recounting this story. Wasn't me - but I was dating my high school boyfriend and spent Easter with his family. His cousin (I'd say he was about 24) decided to stash a ring for his girlfriend in an Easter egg and send her on an Easter egg hunt. He spent all morning planning it out and putting people in charge of snapping pictures, popping champagne, etc. Girlfriend gets to the house and boyfriend tells her she has an Easter egg hunt to go on. She gets pissy, says she's tired and doesn't want to "do that s**t". He finally breaks down and says "there's a really special thing in the egg that I know you'll be excited to find."... And she said "if it's a f*****g engagement ring the answer is no."

But now he's dating a Miss America contestant and I recently saw that ex girlfriend and she was working at a Claire's, and she told me all about her boyfriend who sells phone cases at the stand in the mall. So I guess it all works out in the end.

Lp1234 , Susanne Jutzeler, suju-foto/Pexels Report

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We asked Kate why she eventually gave in. “It was a shot-gun marriage really – he held a gun to my head. That was it. Not sure that I would have gotten married otherwise. At 67, it seemed pointless,” she answered. “Since we got married, very little has really changed, except that we do not argue that much anymore. I think when we saw the old couple in the wedding photos, we realized we may not have long to live and so we should try to enjoy our last days!”

#16

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I proposed to a co-worker once.

Now generally I'm not a soup eater (just not enough substance to it) but when I do I prefer a creamy potato or chowder. One day this girl brings in the most dank chicken noodle that rocked my world and then some. Immediately I was smitten. She'd opened my eyes. I couldn't stand the thought of never experiencing this magical pseudo-food water dish again so I popped the question. Turned out she had a boyfriend. I never got the recipe. My heart is still broken. Are you out there Brooke? Does he treat you like you should be treated when you're slaving over a pot of veggies and chicken stock? I may have moved away to Chicago, but my love for your interpretation of this classic comfort food knows no limits.

eNonsense , Annushka Ahuja/Pexels Report

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#17

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket So this isn't my story but rather one that I heard. Basically it was my moms birthday and she wanted to go on a hot air balloon. While on the ride somebody asked the guide if anybody had ever proposed on his balloon before. He then told us a story of a man who did. He got out on his knee m, pulled out the ring and popped the question. How did she respond? Well acordin to the guide she said something like "you have asked me this three times already, did you really think that taking me up on this balloon would change my answer? He said that it was pretty awkward for the rest of the balloon ride. Also, these rides are done in groups with other strangers in the cabin, so I can imagine that made the experience even worse.

slayer4513 , Chait Goli/Pexels Report

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So what’s her advice for people who feel pressured into accepting a proposal? “Whereas we did not discuss the reason(s) I did not want to marry, I can only suggest that couples should discuss the issues for keeping them from making that decision,” she advised.

“If it is finance, discuss it and come to an amicable decision the way we did. If it is retaining your name, don’t back down!! Whatever the issue, in our work we find solutions, so try to find a middle ground if you love each other.”

#19

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket Ohhhh ... not the thread I wanted to have a relevant story for.

So, my boyfriend had flown out to my hometown where I was spending the summer so he could spend some time with me. I was playing Ocarina of time (I was 23?) And he came in the room and asked me to go for a walk. I said yes, paused my game, and he said "Not yet. In a bit." I raised an eyebrow, and went back to my game. By the time I was fighting that first spider boss, he then was ready to go. Well, now I was neck deep in the first big boss of my game. I said wait, he said he wanted to go, and I suggested he take my sister (ha!).

So we walk down to the ocean as the sun is setting, and he is being romantic, and he asks me if I was happy in our relationship. Sigh ... my best friend had just had this serious talk with me the night before, lamenting all of the things she could see wrong with how serious he and I were. She was even trying to convince me to date one of her friends ... and I had been with my SO for a while at this point. So, much to his chagrin, I said that yes, I wished we could work on a few things. He looked devastated. I said we needed more time for fun, we needed to chill a bit. He said he'd work on it. Then, as we hugged, I could feel him shaking. Ohhhh, the panic set in. He then got down on one knee, and I cried. Not the overjoyed, jumping up and down crying, either. I will never get the slump-shouldered look of dejection on his face out of my head.

So I confessed that the idea of marriage terrified me. I felt I was young (hello, Zelda) and all around me, all I saw were failed marriages. His dad left his mom for his eighteen year old Secretary, for crying out loud. But I told him that I absolutely loved him, and couldn't imagine being with anyone else. Then I asked if I could try it on.

I wore the ring, showed my mom, and we gradually just 'were' engaged, I guess. He is the best husband I could ever ask for ... and I ruined what should have been one of the biggest moments of our lives. :(
(Phone post. Apologies for any autocorrect craziness) (Edited to fix some random crazy word corrections).

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LakotaWolf (she/her)
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm confused, she said no because she didn't feel ready for marriage, then "tried on the ring" anyway for... some reason? and they eventually "just were engaged, I guess" (wtf?) and OP feels she RUINED one of the biggest moments of their lives? If she wasn't feeling ready for marriage, then she felt pressured into "becoming" engaged, and it's also very sad that SHE feels like she "ruined" the proposal that she wasn't ready for. I hope their relationship is okay, but the whole thing just feels odd.

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#20

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I took my fiance out to an island in Boston harbor to propose with a view of the entire city spread before us. She said yes and we had a beautiful day and returned to our warm, bright, shared apartment. My head began to fill with dreams of a shared house, children, a future.

3 months later, she told me she had fallen in love with her soul mate - a married man she met at her internship. For 3 months I tried to make her see my love for her, waking up early every morning to make her breakfast, date nights every weekend, and in the end she still chose him.

It's probably better this way.

I'm moving out of our apartment over this break, while she's home with family. It's times like this that you realize how important family and true friends are. Merry Christmas to everyone who feels alone and rejected out there - there are people who love you too.

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While Kate did eventually cave, she still maintains marriage doesn’t matter to her. “I do not feel any different about who I am. I do feel that it’s made a difference to him. He is more laid-back and laughs more. Thinking about it now, I’m not sure that is a good thing,” she joked.

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“Ours is not a great love story as we sort of drifted into it, but it is a story of love and hugs and I do get more hugs now. Also, I can answer my dad now: Yes, daddy, I actually am happy.”

#21

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I had been with the lady in question for two years, we were in our own little world doing our own thing together. We had ups and downs but nothing too dramatic, and I at least was happy.

I saved for a while to buy the ring and had a day planned out culminating in The Question. I did the one kneed bit and she flat out laughed, but said yes. I was overjoyed,euphoric so put the laugh down to nerves or shock perhaps, who cares, I was getting married!

The next day I got up first, took the dog out and got home to find her putting down the phone. I asked who she had told about our engagement as we had agreed to tell people together. She said she had to talk to someone and dismissed it. I joked that it was her lover and she was having an affair. Her face dropped, my heart sank to my ankles and she then told me, quite plainly and calmly that yes, I had guessed right and that she was off to pack a bag. And then she did, three days later it was almost like she was never there. F*****g b***h tore my soul out and wiped her a**e with it. I would love to wrap up with some kind of revenge or twist to it but she married him. Hurt a more than a bit, caused some depression and a bit of drinking. It seemed totally out of the blue at the time but I always was a poor judge of character when it comes to women.

Edit..Holy c**p, my inbox. Thankyou guys for you're kind words and the gold too. If it helps, I'm with a wonderful woman now and have a great little family. For everyone who has had a similar experience, onward and upward, never give up on yourself! Merry Christmas guys, and thankyou all again.

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#22

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket Told me she has to think about it than sent me an email 2 weeks later from hawaii.

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Kalikima
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Premium
3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, she thought about it, and decided she'd rather move to Hawaii..

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#23

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I propose to approximately half of the female contacts in my phone when I've had too much to drink. They usually let me down pretty easily.

Some recents:

"You must be drunk. Go to sleep!"

"Hahaha I love you silly boy"

"Do you need me to pick you up from the bar, son?".

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It took a while, but Kate and her husband are finally living their “happy ever after”. We hope their story warmed your heart as much as it warmed ours.

Have you ever rejected a marriage proposal? Or had to put the ring back in your pocket? We’d love to hear all about it. Tell us in the comments.

#24

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I wasn't denied but didn't get a direct yes right away. She said "Wait... No. That's not real."

I had to convince her I was actually proposing.

We were in Ruby Tuesdays.

Not my proudest moment, but it worked out.

juxtaposition21 , Jesus Arias/Pexels Report

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#25

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket My friend H. owns a Japanese restaurant and is a very cordial host. One of our friends who moved overseas several years ago was back in town and we took the opportunity to meet up at H.'s for dinner and drinks. It was a busy night in the restaurant, with our table of about 20, a table of Japanese people next to us of about 8 people and the rest of the downstairs dining area full. All in about 45 people there. The drinks were flowing and true to H.'s style, he was popping from table to table to invite rounds and drink together with the guests and was noticeably tipsy.

We were mostly minding our own business when H. shouted above the noise, clapping his hands to get everyone's attention. "We have an announcement at this table," he shouted, motioning to the table of 8 Japanese people next to us. "This gentleman wants to ask this beautiful lady a question!"

So at this point the entire restaurant stops what they're doing and looks over. The Japanese woman, in her late 20s looks like a deer caught in the headlights, looking for a hole to open up and swallow her. The man was a very quiet, traditional Japanese guy. He didn't pick up on it and reached down and grabbed a jewellery box from a bag under the table. The woman went noticeably whiter and started shaking her head. H., oblivious to what was obvious to everyone else in the room, was trying to keep the momentum, shouting for all to hear "he's going to propose to her now!!" The restaurant was quiet. The Japanese guy mumbled something to her, and she put her hands out to reject the box. H. didn't notice and kept loudly encouraging the room to clap on and celebrate their special moment.

Our table, realising this was not going to turn out well, turned away from the train wreck. Someone grabbed H. and told him to ease off, which finally seemed to get through to him. He made another announcement, slightly embarrassed to the diners, "oh, what a shame!"

It turns out that the guy was just giving her a necklace. H. has misread the entire situation and the poor woman had thought she was being proposed to. Embarrassed, she eventually accepted the necklace just to take the attention off them. You could see she was ready to deal with it later.

But it was not over.

10 minutes later, another round of shouting and clapping. H. yelled over the restaurant, "that was not the proposal before! He's ready to propose now!" Everyone stopped and turned again to take in the scene. The woman was staring bullets at H. The guy reached down and grabbed another box from under the table. Somehow the subtleties of the previous 15 mins had not hit this guy. H. was making a big scene, excitedly pouring sake and whiskey and getting people to clap along with him. The guy proposed. She rejected. Room went silent. H. seemed not to notice and went on celebrating.

Another 10 mins later and she had been coerced by her table into accepting the ring, which she wore on her hand and pushed a very angry smile through her teeth. Everyone else was cringing and feeling awful for her.

**TL;DR: Restaurant owner draws attention to train wreck proposal, not once but twice.**.

gibsonsux , Satoshi Hirayama/Pexels Report

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#26

I had been with my girlfriend for over two years, we'd known each other for a couple years before that. We had actually talked about marriage, and agreed that we both wanted to, we just wanted to wait for her to finish grad school first. She had graduated from Purdue, and moved to Penn State at the beginning of September of 2012. Her family is old fashioned, and didn't think we should live together before being married...so I stayed in Indiana.

We spoke every day, managed to see each other a few times when she was in the tri state area. We both planned for almost a month for me to come out to Penn State and spend a week together. Before the trip, we talked every day and everything seemed fine. I worked extra shifts for a month straight to save money and got her a ring. I know we had talked about waiting, but I wanted to give it to her as a token to show that the distance wasn't too much for me, and that I loved her and would continue loving her. 12 hour drive later, we see each other...normal things happen between a couple that hasn't seen each other in a while, and then it was time for bed.

Given that I'm an insomniac, I laid in bed next to her for a while, then asked if I could use her netbook to browse the internet til I fell asleep. She said I could, so I turned it on and logged into Windows. Skype's window was flashing. I saw a conversation with her ex boyfriend. Months of conversation. He had come out to see her less than two weeks after she moved to Penn State and they had slept together. I woke her up, we argued for a few hours, then I drove home. During our argument, I threw my luggage out the sliding door into the yard. The pocket that had the ring in it was unzipped...and I lost in somewhere in her yard and didn't realize it til I was back in Indiana. I also had to say goodbye to a dog that I had raised from day 1 to 1 year old(I brought her so she could be with my ex, as my roommate had a sudden issue with dogs).

A bit over a year later, and I still miss that damned dog.

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#27

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket My wife didn't turn me down, but she did say, "ask me again tomorrow". I asked her every day for 3 months before she said yes.

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SkyBlueandBlack
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dude walked that fine line between stalking and romance like he's in Cirque du Soleil.

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#28

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I've seen a guy get turned down at Universal Studios City Walk. Everyone cheered and got happy and when she said no, the silence was f*****g deafening. He got up, brushed his knee off and they both walked away quickly.

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#29

We had been together about a year. We Had talked about marriage a lot. Planned on getting married. I saved up and bought a ring.

I was going to propose on our year anniversary. But a week earlier we had a party at our house. I was djing.

Halfway through the night everyone is coming up to me asking if I'm ok. I don't understand why. So finally my sister tracks me down. She tells me that my girlfriend was seen making out with our other sisters ex boyfriend.

Right then my girlfriend busts through the door and blurts out "he forced himself on me!"

I have never experienced pure rage before that night. I saw red. I ran out into our living room. He was standing there. He sees me and runs. I chase him out the door. He gets in his car and locks the door. I start beating on his windshield. Everyone pulls me off.

He passes out in the car crying. Scared.

She sticks to her story of him forcing himself on her. While everyone else tells me they saw them walking around the corner holding hands.

We decide to take a break. A week later I find out she's visiting him at his house. And they get together.

I was never so heart broken. Betrayed. Utterly destroyed. It started a long period of darkness for me.

I told her I had bought a ring. She wanted to see it. I told her no.

Fast forward years later. I'm married to an amazing girl I actually met at that same party. I'm friends with the idiot dude. Oddly enough he ended up marrying a good friend of mine. And has since begged my forgiveness and blamed it all in being a douchy kid. I get it. And I like the guy overall. And deep down I was glad he made me dodge a bullet.

No idea what happened to my ex. Don't care. Life is good now.

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#30

I used to work at a jewelry store in a small town. I had a kid come in that was roughly 22-24. He came in with his younger brother. The kid was really excited but the brother was obviously apprehensive and making comments that would hopefully cause the kid to reconsider.

I rung him up for a $1500 ring and told him *before* the sale that it could only be returned for in-store credit, no refunds -- he didn't blink or hear me and said, "OK!"

That was on a Friday, he came back in the next Monday with a black eye and asking for an exchange for the ring.

I felt really, really horrible for him.

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#31

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I had someone propose to me then take it back an hour later.

In one day, I had a boyfriend, a fiance, an ex-fiance, and an ex-boyfriend.

**To elaborate: We went for a walk one day and he was visibly nervous. He finally stopped and said very hesitantly, "I've been thinking . . . of the long-term benefits of . . . marriage. Of a marriage-type thing." Then he said he'd left the ring in the car but would pretend his wallet was the ring box. He got down on one knee and asked officially. I said yes. We walked home and he told me not to tell anyone yet. This was the first inkling I had of something being wrong (the aforementioned awkwardness and scatterbrained-ness were characteristic of him).

We got back to our apartment and ate dinner as usual. He was quieter than normal. After, when we were sitting on the couch, he put his head between his knees and said, "I've made a huge mistake." We ended the engagement (only a half hour) and broke up. I took a very long drive and came back three hours later. We talked and agreed to keep dating.

Four months after that, he told me he wanted to break up for good. When I asked him why, he hemmed and hawed awhile before responding, "We went to Target way too much. Also, I didn't love you." We still haven't talked. We dated for nearly four years before the "proposal" then he almost immediately vanished without a trace when we broke up.

verdandi , Vera Arsic/Pexels Report

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#32

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I proposed to a substitute teacher my freshman year of highschool at the last minute of class with a ring I found on the bus. Said she was already married and had kids. She doesn't sub for the school anymore.

RushingBiohazard , Max Fischer/Pexels Report

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SkyBlueandBlack
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL! Mom taught middle school. One day when I was 8, for some reason I didn't have school, so she took me with her. First class of eighth graders walked in, she introduced me as her daughter, and one of the boys immediately dropped to his knee and asked if I'd marry him. I laughed, he laughed, mom laughed, everyone laughed, and then Algebra began.

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#33

This actually just happened a few days ago. A friend gave his 10 year on-again-off-again girlfriend a ring for Christmas. I'm not quite sure what the conversation was when she opening the gift, but she posted on Facebook that it was an engagement ring and that they were going to spend the rest of their life together. The picture and update got hundreds of likes. After calling my friend to congratulate him (he doesn't have Facebook), he was confused as to what the congratulations was for. After he learned about what his girlfriend said on Facebook, it was apparent he was irritated that she thought it was an engagement ring and got off the phone with me rather quickly to call her. The picture of the ring and the status update disappeared not soon after.

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Beak Hookage
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother has a ring Dad gave her while they were dating, just as a gift. Apparently some of their relatives saw it and went "WTF why didn't you tell us?!"

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#34

I was a young stupid 21 year old in love, or what I thought was love. our relationship was rocky, she was basically using me to boost her self esteem, and I was too stupid to realize that a relationship shouldn't reduce me to tears weekly. we were three years deep at this point.

anyway, we were fighting in a Bank of America parking lot and I was sure she was gonna leave me, so out of desperation I screamed "just f*****g marry me! let's get married!"
she agreed and we planned on getting married the next month.

I was pretty excited, convinced I had found my soul mate. I spent a bad amount of money on an engagement ring and gave it to her that weekend. decided to take a bath together. as I'm behind her giving her a shoulder massage, she decides to tell me that, quite plainly, she had cheated on me with three separate guys that month.

without a word I stood up, stepped out of the tub, pulled my jeans over my wet legs, walked out of her house, drove away, and didn't speak to her again.

that was 6 years ago. I'm still a shell of a man because of it.

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#35

A little awkward. I was the one who had to refuse.

I was born in a pretty conservative family. For my opa's 80s birthday, we all got together in a big house with the family of his new wife (she's very nice, but it still shocked everybody since she is the age of my mother). Didn't really know them, but I enjoyed their company, especially one of her son, an oenologist (I like wine too, who would have thought ?) who was pretty cute. One evening, after pretty much everyone went to bed, he got on his knee and asked me to be his wife. I was super embarrassed and had to refuse, since I'd only known him for 2 days. Awkward. Thank God nobody saw him, and we quickly went our separate ways.

Btw, he was 30-something, I 17.

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#36

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I am an emcee. I have told this before, but I have been asked to be part of many such things, but for some reason, very few go through with it. Like only 1 out of 10 people who plan to do it onstage actually show up at the event. Almost ALL that do, the girl says yes, with crying, applause, and kisses and hugs.

One went really badly. It was at a cosplay contest, and I recall the guy got on one knee and proposed. The stunned girl said nothing, shook her head, and ran off. Then the guy's costume (a kind of "medieval rogue" or Robin Hood-ish affair) had to stand up from one knee, and his boots were too tall for his legs (either that or he stepped on his cape), so he pitched to one side and fell over. Then he got up, and left.

Audience was dead quiet. I didn't know what to say, so I just went onto the next contestant, and pretended like it never happened. Later, at the afterparty, the judges and the staff were all gossiping how horribly awkward it all was. One of the judges admitted, "I almost fainted dead of embarrassment in sympathy...".

punkwalrus , Kenneth Surillo/Pexels Report

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#37

Yay i can share my story even though it will be buried. Had a girlfriend for a little over a year. She kept bringing up when we get married we'll do this and we'll do that and i'll say ya, after i get a career going and we live together we can get married. Well, one day she asked when i was going to ask her, and said in a few years, then she asked how about if she asked me what would my reaction be. I told her she would have to have a ring to ask that question. I WAS JOKING. Well, the next night we were laying down on the carpet and she asked if i would marry her, i said, "well, you need to have a ring remember?" And as i say it she slips me a ring in my hand. I was beyond shocked, i said no, she cried. I told her we were both 18 and far too young. She told me i was immature, left, didn't respond for a week, i went on facebook and saw she was in a relationship to another guy, then she got married to that guy and had a kid. The guy left her when she was 7 months pregnant... But it's okay because she was the mature one in the relationship.

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#38

This is going to be pretty far down, but thought I'd share anyway.

Was with this great girl for almost two years. Loved her to bits and we always had fun together. She was my best friend. I took up a new job last December that was much higher paying so that I could provide for our future. With the first salary, I bought a diamond engagement ring and 12th of January this year I proposed. She was shocked, but she said "Let me think about it". I gave her space after that but eventually it came to "No."

Heartbroken ever since. Haven't been able to date anyone else for almost 7 months and think about her a lot. Can't change that too much, I guess.

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Lyoness
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

7 months isn't long to get over someone. It takes time to grieve the loss of what you thought was your future. Give it time.

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#39

I dated my ex from ages 14-24. She just broke up with me 6 months ago.

By the time I was 16, I was sure I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. I saved money from my part time job for a few months, and got the nicest ring I could afford at Zales. I took her up to Hook Mountain, a place near where I grew up with beautiful views of the Hudson River. I knew she loved me, and I wasn't really nervous.

I don't remember exactly what I said, it's become a blur in my memory. But she was scared as hell by my proposal. She told me she loved me, but she was nowhere near ready to commit to me. I was sad. We left the trail and got some ice cream. I didn't talk much. I returned the ring and never told anyone about it-- not my friends, not my family.

We've been broken up for 6 months and I still think about her every day. I still love her deeply, I think I probably always will.

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Bec
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not saying those kind of young love relationships never work out, but 9 times out of 10, they go on too long.

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#40

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket Does a story where I denied someone else count? I don't get to tell this story often so I'm going to force a handful of you people to read it!

I worked on a cruise ship in the main dining room a number of years back, you tend to work in the same side stand with the same 5 people every night. One of those was a cute Filipino girl who I would constantly flirt with while working, we got along famously. After a month or so I was thinking how I would really like to start something a little less playful and a little more serious, and well it turns out she was thinking the same thing! She popped the question one night while we were cleaning up, "Hey hasfeetforhands, would you marry me?" I laughed and said "Of course I will," thinking this is just us playing around still. Turns out it wasn't. "I can pay you," she said after I turned her down, "3,000 dollars," which I also turned down. I've never had a relationship turn so awkward so fast, she barely spoke to me for the rest of my contract, I like to think it was because she was heartbroken, not because I wouldn't help her get citizenship. But either way I feel terrible. And kind of amazing! Someone proposed to me!

TL;DR: Was offered money to marry cute coworker, died a little inside, feel amazing.

Hasfeetforhands , Pixabay/Pexels Report

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#41

There was a guy who got his guitar broken over his head.

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Michael Largey
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now that's something to fret about if she had been stringing him along. Not the right pick, apparently.

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#42

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I've never had anybody reject a proposal, but I've had two women dump me *after* getting engaged to me. Does that count?

Edit: I added "to me" because, evidently, several people interpreted the original as my fiancées cheating on their SO's with me, or cheating on me with others. To be clear: they were both cases of the women changing their mind after accepting my proposal to them, months after the fact, without any form on infidelity on either of our parts playing any kind of a role in the situation. Just straight up, "nope, changed my mind" situations.

p2p_editor , RDNE Stock project/Pexels Report

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GPawesomeness
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, can't imagine being in a relationship where we weren't on the same page.

#43

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I come from a traditional Indian home while I am not the least bit traditional. My parents thought it would be a good idea to send me to a marriage convention and I decided to go so I wouldn't have to deal with unnecessary drama.

When I got there I went to the first girl I saw and asked her to marry me, but she said no.

Edit: This is how it went.

What happens at them depends on your age. On my age bracket, you just go to seminars that discus various topics and you meet other single people your age. The hope is that the you can meet someone you like and try date/get arranged to them in the future.

For an older age bracket, it is basically like speed dating.

What happened in reality was that almost everyone was drunk/ had a hangover 24/7.

Edit 2: No I did not sleep with anyone there because I was seeing someone at the time.

Pandaless1 , Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels Report

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#44

I'm the b***h who said no. My ex and I were together for a little over 3 years, I got pregnant and he freaked out saying I was ruining his life and was relieved to find out I had miscarried. He trashed me in front of his friends, let them hit on me, we went through separate affairs, he was obviously in love with his best friend. I was young and IDK why I put up with it. You receive the love you deserve right? The last straw was the baby and we broke up. It was painful as hell and I ran away with a new boyfriend out of state. We got engaged because I didn't wanna move away and live with him without some kind of plan. After we left he turned emotionally and physically abusive, took me to a movie and dumped me during it by telling me there was an emergency, he dropped me off at the airport flat broke and screwed. First ex came back into the picture as a friend, and old feelings stirred because he had changed a lot, but I realized too late that I had too. He told me to wear the ring and think about it, so I did but we weren't having sex or anything and he was making wedding plans with his mother. We didn't even live together. I moved 2 hours away, desperate for freedom, and in a month fell head over heels for my boss, whom I married and am still married to. No regrets, but I do feel bad for burning him. I realized it could never work because I'd never forgive him for the baby.

also, husband treats me like gold. I've never been so happy with anyone.

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#45

Proposed to the girl I thought was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life. Took her to Peggy's Cove on Nova Scotia. Proceeded as follows,"Rhiannon's is the most photographed place in the world. I brought the most beautiful girl on the world here because I want to remember the most beautiful moment in my life when the most beautiful girl in the world agrees to marry me here." She says, "We need to talk about this before I agree." LONGEST CAR RIDE HOME EVER. Turns out she's a shallow b***h and REQUIRES a diamond (I don't believe in diamonds as a symbol of love, although I do believe in rings). Also, she was seeing someone else and was more in love with him. Last I heard, they are married. Kinda like those sports fans who think, "at least we lost to the team thatwon it all and not the team that lost it (not at all)".

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#46

This isn't so much about my failed proposals as my dad. Bless him he tried, 3 or 4 failed attempts to propose to my mother, he tried all the tricks box with a bear holding the ring and balloon coming out, ring in the drink, ring on the breadstick and the flat out proposal.

Eventually they both got really drunk in this tiny cramped restaurant in London he popped the question and she said yes. Just as well really as 19 years ago to this date 24 December they found out they were having me o/.

There was just some embarrassment afaik, even on the wedding day my mum said to my grandad "aren't you supposed to talk me out of this?" He just said "nah give over your lucky to be getting married to him"

They are happily married still so yeah not all end in tragedy.

To;dr my dad failed to propose 4 times to my mum but she got drunk and accepted on the 5th, a bit worrying come to think of it.

Edit spelling my mum accepted my dad didn't accept for her >.> OH AND she wasn't pregnant with me at the time they got married like 1 year and 2 months before they found out it they were having me.

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#47

45 Time People Popped The Question And Had To Put The Ring Back In Their Pocket I didn't propose, but I feel like my story qualifies anyway.

I dated a girl for about 4 years when I decided I wanted to propose. Things were going well in our relationship, but we had plateaued a while back. I was at a point in my life where I wanted to take things to the next level with her and start moving on with my life. My rationale for saying that is she and I are two years apart in age, but three years apart in school. Most of the time we dated, she was finishing her undergraduate degree. I was working about an hour and a half away while she was finishing her degree, so I wanted to have us move in together and kick things up a notch.

Anyway, I went shopping a few times (even bringing one of her best friends along once I had picked out a ring), and I found the perfect ring. I still think that if I had proposed with that ring, she would have said yes.

A few weeks before I'm set to buy the ring and propose, she and I are talking. She basically says she knows something's up and that I should not under any circumstances propose to her. I didn't know what to say. She said she loved me and she wasn't saying never to propose, just that proposing at that time was not going to work for her.

Personally, I was crushed. It's a really hard thing to be at that point emotionally and not only not have the feeling reciprocated, but also told to reign it in a bit. Perhaps this isn't a surprise, but we didn't make it. Looking back, it's hard not to identify that conversation as a turning point for our relationship. Things were in the "ok but not great" category for a year after that before our relationship went to hell. Part of me, if I'm really honest with myself, thinks that I should have broken it off with her at that conversation. It's hard, yes, but there are a lot of factors I haven't described here which support that decision. Her saying that was basically another way of saying that we weren't going to work out in the long run.

TL;DR: Was told not to propose by ex-girlfriend a few weeks before I was going to do it. Was awful, kind of killed our relationship, and I would not recommend it to anyone.

anon , Gift Habeshaw/Pexels Report

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Sara Frazer
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well a proposal shouldn't be a one-sided occasion, if she was letting you know that she wasn't *currently* ready but *someday* would be you should've stuck it out, unless you weren't in love with her and just chasing a relationship status due to societal pressure. I can honestly say that if my dear boyfriend of 9+ years proposed I'd say "yes, but not right now, gimme a year to work on myself and be a better partner for you." This seems similar

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#48

My dad proposed to my mom after they dated for three months. She said no. He waited another three and asked again. Again, she said no. They continued dating and, eventually, he asked her again and this time she said yes.

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#49

:/ her family did this thing where she hid a pickle ornament in her tree and her and her siblings would have a race to see who could find it first and the winner got an extra present. So I asked her mother her father and her siblings if I could use this as a way to propose and they thought it was the greatest idea. When they purposely let her find the ring she not only said no but insisted I leave. Haven't talked to her since. 4 years and all my love wasn't good enough I guess!

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