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Out of all types of cringe-worthy material, the "badass guy/girl" trope is one of the worst. Some people really feel the need to let the world know how much of a badass they are as they use guns/drugs/have tattoos/are anti-liberal or are just plain mean. However, such attempts at bad-assery are usually cringe-worthy rather than cool to all those around such people. Here, we made a list of all the laughable attempts at trying to appear cool and edgy. Prepare for some cringing, then scroll down below and leave a vote for those that made you laugh (or cringe).

#1

"I'm Italian. We don't call the cops - we call family"

fan0fchipotle Report

#2

"The dumbest thing you can possibly do is piss off my wife. She will open the gates of hell and escort your a** right on in. And she will do it with a smile on her face"

twalklett Report

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Jace
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is some of the worst text flow on a shirt I’ve seen. Why are so many of these clichéd American conservative attitude shirts full of s****y text flow and bad design? Too many different fonts and decorations around the text.

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#3

"Pastor. Because hardcore devil stomping ninja isn't an official job title"

BroThornton Report

#4

"Hey snowflake, in the real world you don't get a participation trophy, not everybody is a winner, no one owes you anything, screaming doesn't make you right, sometimes you actually lose, crying doesn't solve problems, nothing is free in this world, people are going to say things that you don't like and you are not special!"

Jackizback0 Report

#5

"As a September guy, I'm the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me just remember I know how to hide a dead body"

saggywizardsleeve Report

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Christina Sersif
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don’t understand the September guy part, but I think it’s a funny shirt otherwise

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#6

"I came into this world kicking and screaming while covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem with going out the same way"

Gurneyape35 Report

#7

"I have been the kind of man that when my feet hit the floor each morning, the devil says 'oh crap, he's up!'"

daisiebee123 Report

#8

"If this flag offends you, I'll help you pack"

unknown Report

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#9

"I may seem quiet and reserved but if you mess with me while I'm bowling, I will break out a level of crazy that will make your nightmares seem like a happy place"

cassette_nova Report

#10

"Beware: I ride horses, which means I own pitchforks, have the strength to haul hay and have the guts to scream at a half ton animal after being kicked. You will not be a problem"

GeekPro101 Report

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#11

"Too fat to run, too fat to fight, I JUST SHOOT"

cattattattat Report

#12

"Oh, you ran a marathon? That's so cute! Maybe when you grow up your mommy will let you do the rest of the race!"

Sycsa Report

#14

"Only God can decide if terrorists are right or wrong. It's our job to arrange the meeting"

lionheart10801 Report

#15

"Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?"

PeteyChamp51 Report

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#16

"I am an asshole man: I love freedom, drink beer and love my wife. I protect my family, I eat meat and have tattoos. If you don't like it - move"

ibepunkinmugs Report

#17

"I didn't serve this country for pussies to tell me that I should be politically correct"

worstbaby Report

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Iggy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my experience, people who object to PC ("It's PC gone mad!") have usually just been caught and called out for being racist, sexist or homophobic.

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#18

"I have three sides: the quiet side, the fun and crazy side, the side you never want to see"

themaskedpoosader Report

#19

"As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil , for I am the baddest motherf***er in the valley"

Silver_or_Lead Report

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Iggy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Baddest' MF waiting patiently in a line and wearing trainer liners.

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#20

"Peace is not my profession - it's yours. War is my profession. Should you fail at your job, I will not fail at mine"

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#21

"I am 10 times the asshole you could ever hope to be. Now run along"

SWEDinTexas Report

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Iggy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can we not even stay long enough to marvel at the sartorial elegance?

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#22

"Careful, <...> I'm this old for a reason"

IamMull Report

#23

"Stay back 100 meters or you will be shot"

LetsGoGameCrocks Report

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Iggy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No one has any intentions of going within a kilometre of you so we'll be fine.

Tore Hana
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Arabic it says: “Sometimes, while everyone else is sleeping, I like to rub Vaseline all over myself and pretend I’m a giant slug”

anarkzie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair the T-shirt lets you know he's a twat before you waste your time talking to him, so It's got my approval.

Monika Soffronow
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can someone provide a translation of what it says in Arabic? Given that Arabic is written from the right to the left, it seems odd that "100" is where it is ... (I'd love it to read: 'I'm a dumb-a*s who do not know what it says")

Roody
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually it reads the same as in English, with a couple of spelling mistakes though. Personally I prefer your translation 🙂

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Jace
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet ANOTHER tough guy who doesn’t believe in LAW or even the barest concept of justice. Please do not raise children.

Mark Morey
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shaved head: check. Jeremiah beard: check. Earrings? Shot, go for broke. Put your pants on backwards while your at it. Are we supposed to believe you know Arabic, son?

Elizabeth
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if the other language written there actually says the same thing

SykesDaMan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, it does! There is just the word "Warning" at the beginning, but without the ":" . Also, there's one spelling mistake.

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elfin
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I can read that shirt then I'm behind you, dummy. Meaning I get to shoot first.

Jesper Rasmussen
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The statement is written in both latin and arabic letters - does that mean that people who read latin letters will be shot too? And are chinese, greek, israeli and russian folks safe?

Rage Racer
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please explain how? You don't know the context or that this exact text is found on military convoy vehicles to avoid VBIEDs. Stereotyping people can be as bad..

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he doesn’t like being near people, he should leave. Lots of countries have much lower population density.

Paul K. Johnson
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This snowflake needs a 100 meter diameter safe zone? So what's everyone else to do - go inside while he walks down the sidewalk until he's 100 meters away?

Teri Donovan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are out in public you have no right to make such a demand. If I was a police officer I would be doing a stop and search for cause every time I saw that shirt.

Gin Marie
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what we had to put on vehicles in Iraq because suicide bombers would nose in between our vehicles to blow up two at once. Well, three, counting themselves. That's when we started keeping big distances between our vehicles.

Harry Hoogenhout
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nice shirt.. to bad he does not know how far 100 meters actually is...

PurpleDoople
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that it’s written in arabic too shows exactly who he’s talking to. Disgusting racist.

elfin
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if the Arabic really says what he thinks it says. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know the language. It probably says "I am a pink-assed fool with 100 perversions and an eater of dingo dung."

Ben Lavalleur
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can anyone read that shirt at 100m? I don't know about you guys, but I typically carry binoculars to read shirts to make sure I'm at a safe distance.

Leslie Schlak
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok maybe it wouldn’t be “soo totally stupid” racist if he included a few more countries - as if it’s just one country/Religion, that’s a problem or has a problem with the US, . What about all those groups in the actual USofA? (just guessing he has a problem with them too!!) Oh you mean u didn’t want someone to get you on your homeland , gotcha!

Uchman
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, the VAST majority of "civilians" are not veterans, so why exactly should the public be subjected to this offensive rubbish??

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#24

"There are a lot of people in the world to mess with, I'm the one you may wanna skip"

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#26

"If this flag offends you, you need a history lesson"

Mnkeyqt Report

#27

"Forklift operator. My sense of humor may hurt your feelings or offend you. I suggest you buckle up, buttercup! I change for no one"

tardgard69 Report

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is like an open declaration of being mentally stuck at 14 1/2 years of age. Cringeworthy, definitely cringeworthy.

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#28

"I oil my guns with liberal tears"

Pav1001 Report

#29

"Never, and I mean never, mess with 4-H kids, because in 4-H we are a family... and if you mess with the family you better run"

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#30

"I ain't taking no orders from no woman"

Battlecrafter Report

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#31

"And on the 8th day God created elevator constructors and the devil stood at attention"

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#32

"No one meets death until they see me"

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#33

"I am a grumpy old man. I'm allergic to stupidity, I break out in sarcasm, I was born in July, I protect my family and I love my country. If this offends you - I don't care"

Bilomacer Report

#34

"I'm not a bully, you're just a pussy!"

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#36

"I can always get a new job but you'll always be stupid"

principaljohnny Report

#37

"Cool story, babe. Now make me a sandwich"

ferretninja91 Report

#38

"Nobody needs an AR15? Nobody needs a whiny little b***h either, yet here you are"

LaCockandRancha Report

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Aria Whitaker
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, all those parents crying over lost children due to these types of weapons are just "whiny little bitches". What a sleazeball. Who in world raises these people?

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#39

"Never underestimate a man who was born in November. You know my name, not my story, you heard what I've done, not what I've been through"

profitableprophet Report

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Iggy
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bless him. I'd say the only thing he's been through so far is school.

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#40

"Talk s**t - spit blood"

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