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Remember the last time you tried to impress a possible love interest? Indeed, in your mind, you were gallant, witty, charming, and favorably impressionable. In their eyes, though, you probably seemed more like a dorky fifth-grader trying their hardest to awe their mom into dispensing candy.
Best case scenario - you got them heartily laughing at your efforts and won them over by your naivete. It was a great scenario - you left them dumbfounded with your strained humor and got a great view of their back. It is always best to come prepared to such a battle, though, and if not by having a couple of clever rizz lines locked and loaded, then at least by memorizing those that are not to be used. Like ever.
If schadenfreude isn’t what you often feel, then get ready to remember the pain by reading these cringe-pick-up lines. Some of these mating calls are so bad that you might strain your brows, which involuntarily form cubism-inspired lines in your forehead. And as much as I’d like to spoil some of them right now by adding a quote or two in this text, you’ll just have to scroll and read them for yourself. Well, just a glimpse, maybe - from food pairings to comparisons with technologies, these babies will buffalo you.
So, now is the time to warm up your brows, crack your knuckles, and haughtily adjust your spectacles - cringe, pick-up lines are waiting. Do not forget to vote for the most embarrassing or pick-up lines that annoy your spouse the most! Also, share these with your friends; you might do a fun bet or a social experiment with them. I know I would!
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#1
"Heard you like bad girls, well I'm bad at everything." Blinks instead of winking.
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#2
Knock-knock. (Who's there?) When where? (When where who?) Tomorrow night, my house, you.
#6
Anyone who says Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, has clearly never stood next to you.
#7
You and I are like nachos with jalapeños. I'm super cheesy, you're super hot, and we belong together.
#8
Want a raisin? No? Well, how about a date?
#9
You must be a magician. Because any time I look at you, everyone else disappears.
#10
I want our love to be like the number Pi: irrational and never-ending.
#11
Are you http? Because without you I'm just ://
#12
I'm gonna sue Spotify for not including you in the hottest singles of the week list.
#13
There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can't take them off you.
#14
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk past you again?
La Kalypso 3 years ago
"Please don't. It would feel like reheating yesterday's mc fries in the microwave."
#15
Can I tie your shoelaces? Cause I don’t want you falling for someone else.
#16
I've got 1-ply, I've got 2-ply, but all I really want is your re-ply.
#17
My buddies bet me that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful person here. How should we spend their money?
#18
Roses are red, violets are blue DaVinci painted Mona, cause he couldn't find you.
#19
You look so familiar. Didn't we take a class together? I could've sworn we had chemistry.
#20
I was thinking about my future, and I was wondering. Are you free for the rest of your life?
#21
Are you a parking ticket? Cause you've got fine written all over you!
Valentina Randi 3 years ago
🤦♀️That just sounds like you’re the fine that someone’s gotta pay
#22
I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, give me yours and watch what I can do with it.
#23
Are you a long structure used to restrict the flow of water across rivers and underwater streams? Because daaaaaaaaam!
#24
Your hand seems pretty heavy... Let me hold it for you (day 44).
#25
Are you a shower? Because I want to sit next to you and start crying uncontrollably.
#26
You know what kind of bagel you are? My everything bagel.
#27
You must be a campfire. Because you're super hot and I want s'more.
Taylor Carroll 3 years ago
Is it just me or does anyone else find the term "hot" to be a turn-off???
Saphirre Lugo 3 years ago
A woman I liked and was talking too sent me a text saying she thought I was "'Hot' and blah blah" and I seriously almost deleted/blocked her number because I was so irked. It's been 5 years and we're married now, but still...The fact that that she sent a bunch of cute emojis in the same text saved her. Lol
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#28
If I got a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d have only one because you never left my mind.
#29
Are you wi-fi? Cause I'm totally feeling a connection.
#31
Why would I need to know about the solar system? My whole world revolves around you.
#32
Some Pokemon for anyone slightly nerdy. Charmeleons are red, Blastoise are blue, if you were a Pokemon, I would choose you.
#33
Hey girl, are you a book about an interesting topic? Because I’d love to sit down with you and get to know you better with some coffee.
#34
I'd like to take you to the movies, but they don't let you bring in your own snacks.
Cookie Cat 3 years ago
"So like... um... that sounds like a good excuse to never talk to you again..."
#37
I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
#38
If I had to rate you from 1 to 10, I'd give you a 9, because I'm the 1 you're missing.
#39
How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know either but it breaks the ice. Wanna get a drink?
Jules Marten-Feldmann 3 years ago
I always said it "what do you call a polar bear in the Arctic? An ice breaker, hi I'm..." usually got a laugh 😅
#40
You must be exhausted, because you've been running through my mind all day.
#41
My mom told me that life was a deck of cards, so I guess you must be the queen of hearts.
#42
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Covid-19 canceling everything except my feelings for YOU.
#44
Roses are red, my face is too. That only happens when I'm around you.
Iehoon kim Yazawa 1 year ago
WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU EAT A CALIFORNIA REAPER EH? EH? *leans in and looks at you ominously* EH?
#45
If you were a dried fruit... You’d be my date.
#46
Do I know you? Because you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
#47
Hey can you pass me my inhaler because you took my breath away.
#48
If you were a Transformer you'd be Optimus Fine!
#49
You're so sweet, you could put Hershey's out of business!
Cam Conway 3 years ago
Sorry not possible Hershey's is the only thing keeping me going. No one. And I mean no one can put them out.
#50
I'm good at algebra; I can replace your X and you wouldn't need to figure out Y.
#51
Remember me? Oh, that's right, I've only met you in my dreams.
#52
You must be a high test score. Because I want to take you home and show you to my mother.
#53
I may not be a photographer, but I can totally picture us together.
#54
I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.
Cookie Cat 3 years ago
This one is kinda wholesome, actually compared to the other ones in this weird, cringy thread.
#56
My love for you is like a Windows update. It goes on forever and ever.
#57
I don’t have a library card... But can I check you out?
#58
I just took a DNA test. Turns out I'm 100% into you.
#59
Guess what I’m wearing? The smile you gave me.
#60
We're not socks. But I think.... we'd make a great pair.
#62
Hey are you a keyboard. Because you are just my type.
#63
I think I need to see an optician. Because my eyes can't focus on anything but you.
#64
Is there an airport nearby, or was that just my heart taking off?
#65
Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only Ten I See.
#67
Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic Ocean, and I don't mind being lost at sea.
#71
Damn, this COVID-19 stuff sure does suck... but you can't spell quarantine without u, r, a, q, t.
#72
When I 1st laid eyes on you, I immediately signed up to be an organ donor. Do you know why? Because I want to give my heart to you.
#73
Hey girl, are u a Bluetooth device? Cause I'm lookin' for connection.
#75
Hey, you gravity? Coz I feel a force of attraction here!
#76
People have always told me to never grow old. But that’s all I want to do with you.
#78
Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you look like a snack.
Rabbitzan Drakague 3 years ago
Angel one is better but this one is cute. Dunno if any girl would fall for it though. Lotta girls already don't fall for the angel bit.
#79
Do you have 11 electrons? Then why you're sodium fine.
Rabbitzan Drakague 3 years ago
How many lonely chemists guys there must be. Loneliest element in the world. I feel bad for them man. Feels bad.
#80
Hey girl you look so fine. You turned my LEGO piece 32557 into a 98989.
#81
Let me tie your shoes. I don't want you falling for anyone else.
#82
Do you take care of bees? Because I already know you're a keeper.
#83
I went to your boyfriend's Instagram page. It said "edit profile".
#84
Was your father an alien, because there nothing else like you on earth.
#85
If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
#87
If you were a burger at McDonald's, you'd be the McGorgeous.
#88
I'm in the mood for pizza. A pizza you, that is!
#89
If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
#90
Have you been covered in bees recently? I just assumed, because you look sweeter than honey.
Rabbitzan Drakague 3 years ago
Lol this is funny but being covered in bees would be terrifying.
#91
You owe me a drink. Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine!
#92
In this pandemic your smile is still the most contagious thing out there.
#93
Are you an unfunny meme? Cause I don't wanna share you.
Cookie Cat 3 years ago
So my life isn't just a joke to you... it's an unfunny joke. I will never talk to you again.
#94
I bet dentists HATE you - there's no way they could improve your smile!
#95
I don’t normally chase girls but I’d put my crocs in sports mode for you.
#96
Girl, if you were a race car you'd be lightning McQueen.
HeyI’mJustMe 3 years ago
Oh yeah please compare me to a child’s movie main character, super hot
#97
You know why I study mathematics? Because I want to find the shortest distance into your heart.
#98
Hey baby, are you Danny Devito? Because It’s Always Sunny when I’m with you.
#99
Hey are you an artist? Because you sure do draw my attention.
#100
Hey! What's that thing all over your face? Oh! It's beauty.
#101
I’m not a landscape photographer but I’m sure you’d make any view better.
#102
Him: Are you a model?
Me: ... No.
Him: Oh, when did you quit?
#103
Were you in boy scouts? Because you tied my heart in a knot.
Rabbitzan Drakague 3 years ago (edited)
Is that a pick line to use on a guy? Nice I like it. Gunna use that on my husband lol
#105
If I had four quarters to give to the four prettiest women in the world, you would have a dollar!
#106
You must be made of cheese. Because you're looking Gouda tonight!
#107
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber!
#108
Are you my appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.
#110
I wasn't always religious. But I am now, because you're the answer to all my prayers.
#111
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together.
#113
Are you a brain tumor? Cause you’re on my mind and it’s killing me.
#114
Hey girl, I would ask for Netflix and chill... But, you look like you're into Stranger Things.
#115
On a scale of 1-10, you're a 9 I'm the 1 you need.
#116
Do you have a pencil? Cause I want to erase your past and write our future.
#117
If God made anything more beautiful than you, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
#119
I like my women how I like my laptops. On my lap. Turned on. Virus free.
#120
I'm sorry but you need to pay your rent. You've been living in my heart for quite some time now.
#121
Hey girl I wanted to take you to the movies but they don't allow to bring your own snacks.
#126
They say if you Kiss an angel you'll be immortal. So yeah you can kiss me as long as you want.
#132
They say your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body, wanna fight?
#136
You must be jelly, cause jam don't shake like that.
#141
Sorry, I would’ve texted sooner but my phone just overheated, I guess you’re just too hot for Tinder.
#145
Is your birthday October the 10th? Cos you definitely look like a 10/10.
#151
Hi my name is John if anyone is looking to make a mistake tonight." I wasn't, but damn I thought that was funny.
#157
Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koalafications.
#158
I was wondering if you had an extra heart…because mine was just stolen.
#163
I'm glad I remembered to bring my library card. 'Cause I am totally checking you out!
#165
Do you work at Dick's? Because you're sporting the goods!
#166
They forgot to put your name on the periodic table. Cos you're one of the elements that make up my life.
#171
Sorry I didn’t get you any chocolates for valentines day, but if you want something sweet, I’m right here.
#172
Hey girl, are you 2020? Because you took my breath away..
#183
Are you my phone charger? Cuz I wanna sleep next to you.
#195
Where have I seen you before? Oh yeah, I remember now. It was in the dictionary next to the word "gorgeous"!
#196
Can I be your first mistake of the New Year?
#197
Damn girl are you an upset woman? Cause I think you’re fine.
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