Finally in my 40s I had a friend I met at work. I was single, he was happily married. He mentored me, we got lunch and talked about work, we kept in touch on social media. He was so respectful. I felt validated.

Two years after I left the company he called me at work around the holidays (unusual). We had a nice catch up chat then he told me he’d had a dream about me that put me “on the naughty list.” At the time I was dealing with sexual harassment issue at work. Our relationship dissolved instantly. I just couldn’t handle being objectified yet again, by someone I thought didn’t see me like that.

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Rostit. .

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As a man....what the f**k is wrong with some guys? How did they get to this point? seriously wtf.

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Started asking increasingly invasive questions about where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing. When I tried to set boundaries he blamed me for not being there for him enough (we had known each other maybe 2-3 weeks) and went off at me for “leading him on”. When I told him I didn’t want to continue being friends he cried that I was leaving him just like everyone else. Geez.

startingagain2480 , Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo) Report

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C.O. Shea

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Yup... just want to keep your record intact, buddy.

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Was out to dinner with him and my husband. He told my husband that he was going to steal me away and that if he had found me first my husband never would have had a chance. Not only did he treat me like a piece of property, I'm happily monogamous and married to the best human in the entire world.

canofelephants , Nicole Michalou (not the actual photo) Report

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two-sided llama

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what are these people expecting to happen?

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Waiting for me on my kids trampoline in our yard when I wasn’t home. He lived in my neighborhood and strolled over earlier and wanted to hang out but I said I was busy, got in my car and drove away in front of him. I assumed he’d walk home but he didn’t!

My other neighbor had a camera, he stayed there on my trampoline for 2.5 hours until I got home with my kids and then was upset I wouldn’t let him inside to hang out while I put them to bed.

ghastlyglittering , Yan Krukau (not the actual photo) Report

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DarkViolet

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Call. The. Police.

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Knew this guy since childhood. When him and his wife broke up he expressed how lonely he was. Immediately asked me out. I said no. Kept pushing. Dude. Just because I’m single doesn’t make me automatically want you. No = no.

BlackNighon , Nathan Cowley (not the actual photo) Report

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Rosie Red

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We need to come up with a new word because no just doesn't seem to cut it with some people.

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There were other things that made me pause but not end the friendship (WHY????) but the final thing was we went out partying and when we got to his house at 3 am he woke his mum up to scream at her bc he was s****y I didn’t hook up with him. I went to sleep in his brothers room (brother was out) and left early the next morning. Never saw him again.

vacuas , Timur Weber (not the actual photo) Report

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Rocky Horror Panda

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Ummm...good for you for having the presence of mind to not fück an @sshole? WTF seriously?

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It was New Year’s Eve, my husband had to work, I was very newly pregnant, went to a party and our friend (he was friends with both my husband and I. I never hangout with guys one on one) messaged me drunk from a different party confessing his feelings for me. He then begged me to come to his place for a new years kiss.
That was the end of that!

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After dinner, we were talking outside when he suddenly pushed me against the wall and forced a kiss 🤮

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KatSaidWhat

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Groin, meet knee.

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I was taking a hoody off (I had a T-shirt underneath) and caught him videoing me. He was sitting next to me and as I pulled the hoody over my head I noticed he was looking straight ahead away from me but was holding his phone literally sideways with the camera pointed at me.
Asked what the f**k he was doing and he said nothing, he jumped a mile and moved his phone immediately. I asked to see his camera roll cause it looked suspicious the way he was holding his phone and he refused.
This was at a friends house of our group and I promptly told him to f**k off. Everybody defended him so I left (blocked him immediately) and lost the entire group as friends lol

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Babsevs

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They weren't friends .....

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He stuck his tongue INSIDE my ear. We were just sitting on the couch , about to decide what to watch on the tv /wich videogame play (cant remember, it was in the 90's). Never flirted or talked about seeing each other or anything.
I yelled in surprise and disgust, got up super fast, got out of his appartment and never talked to him again.
I still remember the sound of his nasty wet tongue in my ear to this day. Yuck.
Btw we were supposed to hang out with a group of friends at his flat, i was the first one to arrive. I know better than getting alone in a dudes house i'm not romantically interested to.

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Charlotte A.

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Ew. A guy I met a couple of times who started going on about how "he never felt this way before" and "I think I'm in love and it scares me" and obviously just wanted to get me into bed and eventually said "if you don't feel the same, we should probably not see each other again" to which I happily and politely agreed, suddenly had his tongue in my ear as we were saying good bye. And it hurt - he caused "underpressure" (?) in my ear. Ew ew ew.

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We had gone out for the day and it was really nice. He was disabled so he struggled to get out in his own so we’d go on days out to places he chose every month or so. I was in a relationship at the time. We were driving home and he said to me when this relationship falls through would I consider him…we’d been friends for a very long time and it made me very uncomfortable. He was 65 at the time and I was about 25. He then started talking about his sexual preferences and that he’s very particular and I was not having it. I couldn’t believe he would say this after knowing i wasn’t interested and already in a relationship.

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Charles McChristy

Charles McChristy

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I see these old men creeping on women on the internet all the time. "I don't understand what went wrong. I just told her I thought we would make a great couple. I don't understand why she won't **** me! I'm a nice guy. I deserve this..."

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Bragged about having access to a Google Drive filled with my schoolmates’ unauthorized explicit photos (these are presumably shares by their so’s/partners). I scolded him about it and he proceeded to victim blaming. Then I asked him, "What if I was one of those women? Will you also share the files behind my back?". He got quiet and after I reached home, I cut all communications with him—his silence was already the answer.

Before this happened, I knew him as someone who wouldn’t hesitate to help me bring my bags, would share his advices, and a really ‘respectful’ friend. Maybe that was his facade after all. 😐

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Jay Scales

Jay Scales

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10 months ago

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Sadly, with so many 'nice guys', it is all a facade. Sigh.

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Wrote a love song about a girl who the song described as looking exactly like me, sat down on my bed, and looked deep into my eyes as he sang it to me. When I politely told him this was really nice but I wasn't interested, he called me a conceited b***h for assuming the song was about me.

horizonhunter97 , MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo) Report

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General Anaesthesia

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10 months ago (edited)

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You're so vain, I bet you think this song is about you - Carly Simon https://youtu.be/cleCtBP0o5Y?feature=shared

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He told me he had feelings for me and I said I didn’t feel the same way. He went into my room when I wasn’t home and left a love letter or rather his idea of one. I told him my boundaries were crossed and it was triggering for me (he knew I was assaulted and stalked in the past and I was struggling through this) so I needed space. Instead of space he kept texting and calling me non stop telling him I was giving him anxiety everyday waiting for me. When he finally came over again to hangout we talked and he told me it’s ok to stay friends. hung out like always and then as he was leaving he kissed me. And then just left. I went down on the floor in fetal position panicking and then all of sudden he was back in the room and told me he forgot his cigarettes. He looked at me on the ground obviously in panic and just said see you tomorrow. We had the same friend group and the same close circle he was really the only male. So all these girls started texting me that he was so happy I finally confessed my love for him and was telling them I wrote him a letter and came onto him… he lied to them all. So I started separating myself from all of them because my mental health went so low I didn’t see any of this coming. This was in October and by late November he was living with another girl.

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DarkViolet

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10 months ago

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Some friends. 😒

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He thought I was his ex girlfriend all the sudden. He talked to me as complete garbage telling me I didn't do anything right in our relationship. How I had cheated on him, talked down to him, how my mom and dad didn't like him.. and how my sister was terrible to him. (I don't have a sister and I don't have a mom and dad.. I have grandparents who raised me.)

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Tobias Reaper

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that sounds like serious mental health issue to me

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Childhood friend; always a little creepy, always a little pushy. Invited me out multiple times, despite me always saying i wasnt interested, i always made sure if we were going out it was in a group and in public, made sure i was never leading him on. Always asked me about my relationships, but i naively thought he was just interested in my life and genuinely being nice ya know? Turns out he was biding his time. Final straw was when he invited me out with another friend of his, who id never met, and about an hour into the event we were attending they ganged up on me to tell me how terrible my boyfriend was to me and how he would treat me so much better how i should give him a chance etc. Never spoke to him again. Cherry on top: 3 years later he messaged me after the birth of my child to *ask me if i would consider making him my childs godfather*. WTF

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two-sided llama

two-sided llama

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hey I know I was a d**k to you and tried to force you into being in a relationship with me, but can I be more involved in your child's lives.

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He started treating all the girls in our friend circle like c**p because "they're not like you" told him that was stupid and to stop being an a*s, he then became a stalker and i haven't used social media in years and changed my phone number like 3 times. Fun.

RaiBp , David Duky (not the actual photo) Report

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the dancing demon (she/her)

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Call. The. Police.

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I used to have a guy best friend that was a great "nice guy", but he had a crush on me and I simply did not see him that way. And I never would have been able to. I tried letting him down as gently as possibly, but sometimes he would try to be very persistent. Our first falling out that was a major red flag in our friendship (besides him having a crush on me) was that he once did the whole messaging me saying how "If I didn't give him a chance to date me he was going to k*ll himself". Which is a super s****y position to put someone in. And very mentally instable, but I was a freshman in high school so i was very stupid. The thing that did it for me was when he did something horrible. We used to play Xbox together, and one time he invited his Xbox friend that lived in a state far away from me. This friend was extremely nice to me upon meeting, and we hit it off right away (friendly manner), and found out we liked a lot of games and hobbies in common. The night was super fun, and it ended with the Xbox friend asking for my snapchat so we could play again tomorrow and talk more. I said sure. Fast forward to the next guy, this out of state friend was a tad different, just more abrasive I guess. I asked my nice guy best friend to join the game, but my friend declined so it was just me and the out of state guy playing. He started getting inappropriate out of nowhere and wanting me to send nudes to him. I refused and the guy became extremely pissed off at me and kept asking until he became very annoyed. He then told me, "The whole reason I wanted your snap and to play Xbox with you was because your guy friend said you were a s**t and a w**re and would send to any guy. That you have no self-respect so you resort to being everyone's s**t". My friend tried lying his way out of it, but I had proof. He crossed a line and objectified me like I wasn't even a human let alone his friend.

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Rocky Horror Panda

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10 months ago

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That is severely fůcked up.

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He freaked out on me in public with tears, screaming and grabbing when I began dating a new guy, even though he had never made a romantic overture. Friends literally had to hold him back. It was scary because I honestly thought we were friends taking the same COLLEGE NOT HS class and eating lunch together.

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two-sided llama

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hi just covering a bad comment from a guy who terribly misunderstood the post.

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Guy 1: He would regularly tell me how attractive he found me, if he wasn’t ENGAGED he would date me but he loves his fiancée, and he would text me the next morning when he would dream about me.

Guy 2: Married a friend of mine and would snap me from a secret snap account. He would tell me how pretty I was and loved that I let him “harmlessly flirt” with me. Truthfully, I was so uncomfortable but I didn’t know what to do bc he was married to my friend. Ghosting made the most sense.

Guy 3: Replied to an IG story one day saying he was gonna save that picture for later 😉

Guy 4: He was a former coworker of mine. He got a new job elsewhere and sent me a text, “I’m so glad I don’t work at ________ anymore so I can flirt with you whenever I want”. My work had a strict no-dating policy between people on the same team.

Just to name a few.

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He publicly read a poem about us being together and about my past relationships. And this was after he asked me to show up to “support” him.

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Gave me a ride home from class because my car was in the shop. Proceeded to ask me out because I had just broken up with my ex of three years about two weeks prior. I declined and for some reason he was that as an invitation to reach over, grab my boob, and play with my nipple while driving me home. Shoved his hand away. When he dropped me off he asked me to send him money for gas (I lived about ten minutes away). Never spoke to him again.

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MushroomHead22

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he asked for gas money after groping you.... shoulda just jumped out at the next red light.

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I had a friend whom I thought that I could trust for a time. We were sitting in a group and having a good time when he all of the sudden told a joke about sexually assaulting women. I can't even remember what I said to him , something like " i dont like you" and then I walked away. Since then I haven't spoken to him.

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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism

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rape “jokes” are NEVER funny.

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He was a "nice" guy who helped me leave my abusive ex-husband and offered his house to stay overnight before taking the bus back to my mom's house. He then later revealed that he wanted me divorced so I would be available to him for sex.

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Nicole Weymann

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It's so bizarre that apparently the only thing making her "unavailable" right now was that another man was yet in the picture, and not the fact that she wasn't even asked, let alone agreed.

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Screamed verbally abused me when I started dating someone new because I'm a "f*cking sl*t" for giving it out to everyone but him.

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TotallyNOTAFox

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My comeback would be "We'll I'd worry if even a s**t like me wouldn't f***k you" (Wow, even F R I C K gets censored)

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It wasn't creepy towards *me* but the day I found out my 40 yo "nice guy" friend left his fiance of 14 years to date a 19 y.o in our friendship group, he was dead to me. His actions afterwards proved my intuition right.

For context, we were all friends who met though a social dancing group. Naturally it was more women than men, and we'd joke about how many men treat dancing as a hook up zone. But this guy was *different* because he did it as a fun activity. He had a fiance who he had been with for so long.

Literally over the 2 week summer break he had broken up with his fiance and began persuing multiple women in the friendship group. Everyone turned him away, saying he needed to take some time for himself, but he said he'd never been single for more than 2 weeks as an adult and couldn't *possibly* bear it.

Nobody fell for it except the 19 year old. We tried to warn her to be careful but she thought we were jealous. 8 months later she broke up with him and he said she was his "best friend" and they should still keep in contact. Naturally he used that to convince her to keep sleeping/dating him even though she didn't want to. She turned to the rest of the dance group for help when he started stalking her in his car daily, and threatening to show up to the dance she was throwing for her 20th.

I made it very clear that if I saw him, I would hurt him in any way I could. I would make a scene at the dance hall. I would post on social media. I would *actually* hurt him to keep him away. He slunk off to join a different dance group. And yes, the cycle repeated.

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Saphyre Fyre

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10 months ago

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Fiance of 14 years??? Why agree to get married then not get married??

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He was taking pics of other women’s bodies when we were at the beach , my mom and I were next to him and didn’t even notice. I found them on his phone.

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He kept telling me he would have to keep me away from his lesbian mom lmao. Excuse me? I don't know you well enough to go to your house. Also, the fact that you think your parent would prey on underage girls is problematic on its own, like has this happened before??? I had so many questions for that guy.

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GhostlySnail (she/her)

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10 months ago

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…whoa. Yikes.

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He got all pissy when I started dating my current boyfriend, tried to cause trouble with us and then messaged me to tell me that I was a s****y friend and he should have never trusted me. It was so weird! Then he blocked my boyfriend and myself, haven't talked to him since!

This is a guy that I used to try to be a listening ear to because he got in some trouble and used to threaten to unalive himself. I just wanted to help him and gave no hints that I liked him any other way. His loss,I was a great friend :(

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Bro ranted his sob story making me feel sympathy towards him, then acted super stalkery and jealous when he was just a friend who's sitting beside me in class... Even cried in front of the whole class to make me look like the bad guy but all my friends took my side saying that he was peeking at their phones and acting stalkery too, so yeah ....

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My friend had a king sized bed and after the club one night I crashed cause we went to smoke, and was buzzed and I have ONLY ever seen this man as a friend. He was fairly unhygienic and just not my type. Told me he would be up mostly and if he laid down he would stay on his side. Well nope not to long after I'm asleep mother f****r gets in the bed and starts trying to cuddle. Could feel him feel my a*s. I just decided to say f**k it and go home. I only lived like 10 mins away but was trying to be responsible. But he just triggered some PTSD from when I was a kid and I had to jet. *also he did this to my two other best friends in similar scenarios where they ended up needing to crash at his place.

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Charles McChristy

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You and they were most likely drugged. This is a disturbing pattern.

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A “friend” of mine was stuck in PR with no job after he broke up with his toxic gf at the time. Their source of income over there would be onlyfans and trading. When he finally moved back he kept pressuring me to start an OF and he would manage it and basically take the money. I told him numerous times I wouldn’t be okay with having an OF and that I knew I would become really depressed and hate myself bc of it. He basically said “f**k your feelings, I’d be getting money.” He wanted to pimp me out and make me an OF girl instead of getting an actual job for his source of income.

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He said he was feeling lonely and asked for a hug. I'm not generally a hugger, but I gave him a hug and he went straight in for the kiss. I don't think I've ever backed away from anyone else that fast.

KikiChrome , Katerina Holmes (not the actual photo) Report

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I was still in school, I think I was around 14.
Came back from school - out of town and wanted to collect my bike at the train station- to find a letter on the carrier of my bike. A “secret admirer”, didn’t tell me his name or who he was but his number. 14 year old insecure me was very flattered and I texted him (that was ca 2000, so SMS). We texted but he kept refusing to reveal himself. Kept coming back to flowers and letters on my bike, which started to freak me out. He then finally told me who he was and asked me on a date, which I refused because his behaviour was just creepy. He got very upset and angry, saying I had probably just f*** someone else.
Deleted his number and avoided him until I moved away…

NerdInA_Bottle , Büşranur Aydın (not the actual photo) Report

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DarkViolet

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Sure sounds like someone wa-a-a-ay too old for her.

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Offered to give me a ride to a game for a co-Ed team I just joined (knew this guy from High School) and he told me the team goes out for dinner after, so I said I’d join. Found out no one was going for food but me and him because he made it up. Never called my dad to come pick me up so fast.

Rough_Vacation_1067 , Edwin Ariel Valladares (not the actual photo) Report

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Jill Bussey

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Well done, dad.

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The dude was my previous neighbor. For context, his house was at the front in a semi rural area, we shared a driveway. I used to sunbathe top less in my fully fenced back yard. There was no way that he would have known that I was sunbathing in the privacy of my yard unless he purposefully looked. One time, I caught him peeking through the fence at me (this particular time, I wasn't sunbathing, just hanging out). And I was absolutely mortified. In order for him to peek through the section of the fence he was looking through, he would have had to go over the boundary line onto my property. I realized that this probably wasn't the only time he had looked through he fence and had probably seen me topless at some stage. I stopped talking to him and became a bit of a recluse and moved out after a few months.