“He Out-Stalked My Stalker”: 42 Of The Creepiest Things People’s Spouses Have Ever Done
InterviewWhen getting married, you agree to take your partner as they are: for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer and in sickness and health. But what about times where they completely creep you out? Did your wedding vows happen to mention those moments?
Redditors have recently been discussing the most unsettling things they’ve ever witnessed their spouses do, so we’ve gathered the strangest stories below. From talking in their sleep to having confrontations with strangers, enjoy reading about these surprising experiences, and be sure to upvote the behaviors that only a spouse could love!
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My sweet, beautiful, loving wife is an Irish immigrant. She's only been here in the US for 6 years and still has moments of culture shock. Mainly with how rude people can be in public. A woman approached us at the grocery store as we were discussing dinner, and told her the classic "you need to speak english". Yes, my wife can be difficult to understand, and it can sound like she's speaking some sort of dark orcish language. So my wife removes the bottle of drain cleaner from our cart and told this woman to go drink it, and suggested mixing it with diet coke to make it go down. Security was called, I was a mix of mortified, and proud, and my wife made a comment about "years of bloody war and terrorism, and she thought I'd just roll over like some helpless b***h".
Ps, security did not remove anybody from the store, but the other woman was told in no uncertain terms that she was not allowed to harass other customers if she would like to be allowed to shop there in the future.
My wife saw me typing this, and said "you tell em' I'll do it again".
My ex husband had returned from a deployment and it was a pretty rough one. He was there for Fallujah and yeah, just tough on him. He was having a hard time sleeping and was prescribed a couple of doses of Ambien to get back on the US clock.
I was sleeping but woke up when I heard a metal shink clink and saw that he was sitting on the edge of the bed. I asked if he was ok and he turned his head to me slowly and said something inchoherent then put his finger to his lip in a shush and slowly turned his head back to face the door.
I got up and he was sitting there on the edge of the bed, buck a*s naked except for his socks and boots (laced up) holding his locked and loaded AK-47 (that was the sound I heard). He’d somehow gotten up, found his gun safe keys, went to the basement, pulled out his AK, pulled his ammo out of the separate ammo box, loaded a magazine, put on his boots, and come back to bed.
I was instantly as awake as a human can be, like this s**t could go real f*****g bad real f*****g fast. I told him it was my turn for guard duty and to get some sleep. He just kind of grunted and fell sideways into bed, rolled over, and started snoring. I earned my ninja badge that night getting the gun away from him. I didn’t sleep a wink because I couldn’t find the gun safe keys so I just kept vigil in bed and read a book, soothing him when he started stirring.
He remembered none of it. I locked his gun safe keys away from him for a very long time after that night and he didn’t take Ambien again. That s**t really f***s with people.
My wife is a sleep talker. It’s usually just gibberish,but one when she was a asleep and I was watching a movie sat upright and looked at and said”those clowns won’t get my ice cream “. Slapped me in the face and went to sleep. I was like ok the clowns won’t get her ice cream.
To find out how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user NKVDKGBFBI, who invited others to share stories of the creepiest things their spouses have ever done. They were kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share why they posed this question.
"Couples know each other intimately. Nobody knows a person quite as well as their significant other," NKVDKGBFBI noted. "The post played off of that reality and the fact that almost everyone loves reading about creepy subjects. It was a relatable and interesting topic, which is why the post succeeded."
One night, my spouse sleepwalked into the kitchen, opened the fridge, and started having a full conversation with a jar of pickles. I’m still not sure who won that debate.
My pale a*s Russian wife sleeps like a vampire. Arms crossed and all that.
She also had a weird up bringing and believes in premonitions. Twice she hasn't me to go somewhere because she had a bad dream. Twice, I got into a wreck that same day. Then, one time, she told me she dreamed she would find a black cat outside and that she would be pregnant. A week f*****g later I heard meowing coming from outside. I'm like hey go feed your stray (she would feed the apartment strays and talk to them. Real Disney princess s**t.) She comes back with this black kitten and was like I told you so. We had never seen this stray before. And then a week later she peed on a stick and it was positive.
Normally, I don't put stock in these things, but she is 3 for 3.
Sleeping with your arms crossed: my grandmother went to a school run by nuns. There she must sleep with her arms crossed so if she would die in her sleep she would appear decently before god...
Been married for 7 years, when my wife goes to sleep, she giggles. At first I thought it was cute, then it got kinda scary because hearing someone giggle in the dark is never cute. My only coping mechanism is going to bed before she does.
My partner sometimes cackles maniacally in his sleep then just lays there with a massive grin... he has a big smile. It's incredibly disturbing.
We were also curious about whether or not the OP was married. They shared that they've had "many creepy experiences" with their wife, one of which they detailed in a comment on their post.
"I woke up one night to a knocking sound, and when I rolled over to wake my girlfriend (who I'm now married to). I found she was not in bed. The lights outside the room were off, and I laid there for a moment, listening to the sound before it stopped. I called her name, but received no answer. The entire house was dark, and we lived in the boons, out in the middle of nowhere in Oregon," the author shared.
He out stalked my stalker. On one hand it was great that he was able to get the stalker to back off because the police refused to do anything but say "*we* feel your life isn't at risk." but it was also definitely the creepiest thing my husband ever did.
"When I finally got the balls to wake up and investigate the sound and her whereabouts, I found nothing - until I reached the kitchen," the OP continued. "As I was walking around, calling her name, I heard knocking again and found it coming from the closed pantry door. I called her name. Nothing. I stared at the door for what felt like minutes before I opened it and found her in there walking over and over again into the wall on the far side of the larder. She was completely naked, and this was the first instance of her experiencing somnambulism, which has, to this day, occurred quite frequently and seems to become stranger and stranger over time."
He thought of the most innocent word he could, and then started to creepily whisper it to me. This has been going on for years…now he has trained our children to do it.
Think of someone randomly leaning over your shoulder and whispering ‘bagel’ in your ear like Hannibal Lector. It only happens occasionally so I’ll have my guard up for a few weeks after it happens, then I kind of forget about it…until he does it again. My toddler can never remember the right word so he just whispers random words in my ear occasionally and it cracks me up.
The creepiest thing my husband ever did was sleepwalk into the living room, stare at me with their eyes wide open and whisper my name repeatedly. I was watching TV late at night and it felt like a scene from a horror movie.
My husband was once also sleepwalking and when I asked him if he was awake (because he acted weird), he assured me that yes he was. It was not creepy but so damn confusing. I was pretty sure he was NOT awake but he kept insisting and of course he had no memory of it in the morning.
Not my wife. The girl I dated before my wife. She had night terrors. Like sitting up in bed and screaming at her sister at the end of her bed. Of course there was no one there.
The one that really sticks out though was the Philly incident. Earlier in the day some sketchy dudes began following us near the tourist area. We turn, they turn. Etc. it got to the point that I said if any of them try to get our attention just run. We looked back on that as being the seed that started what happened that night.
We had a pretty normal nighttime routine for a hotel. Normally at hotels I leave the bathroom light on and the door slightly ajar as a nightlight. This time I didn’t.
In the pitch black of the night I am awakened to her screaming “there’s someone in the room! Holy s**t! Help help help!”
Next thing you know I have hands around my neck beginning to choke me. Now I’m screaming in terror. I manage to pry one hand loose and I just start biting it. “Owww!! They’re biting me!! Help ahhhh.”
I realized exactly what was happening. I think by then I was also up out of bed and I found the light switch. We calmed down.
What we always thought was odd was that no one checked on us. This was two adults screaming in an airport hotel in the middle of the night like they were being murdered and no one checked on us.
We also asked the author if they believe it's inevitable for spouses to catch some creepy behavior every now and then. "Everyone has a creepy side. If you're with someone long enough, you're eventually going to witness them in a weird act," they told Bored Panda. "Which can sometimes just be an awkward moment or gesture. Statistically, time plus observation of a human equals witnessing creepy behavior."
So, picture this: it's a dark and stormy night (no, seriously, it was!), and I'm home alone because my wife, Rachel, was working late. Our house is one of those old Victorian types with creaky floors and spooky vibes, especially when the wind howls and the rain lashes against the windows. You get the picture.
I'm sitting in the living room, binge-watching a true crime documentary, which in hindsight, was a terrible idea. The documentary was about this serial killer who broke into people's houses. Just as the detective in the show goes, "The intruder was never caught," I hear a noise from the kitchen. My heart nearly leaps out of my chest.
I pause the show, straining to hear. Nothing. I brush it off as the wind and hit play. Then, a loud crash. I'm not talking about a small thud; it was like someone dropped a whole cabinet of pots and pans. I jump up, grab the nearest weapon-like object (which, hilariously, was a baguette), and tiptoe towards the kitchen.
As I creep closer, the sounds get louder – rustling, shuffling, and then... humming? My mind is racing: Is this it? Am I going to be the subject of the next true crime episode?
I burst into the kitchen, baguette raised, and flick on the lights. There, standing in the middle of the room, is my wife Rachel, completely oblivious to my terror. She's wearing her headphones, belting out Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You" at the top of her lungs while organizing the Tupperware cabinet.
Now, here's where it gets really creepy (or hilarious, depending on your perspective). She didn't see or hear me come in, and she's really into the song. So, in my panic-fueled brain, I decide the best course of action is to... sing along. Yes, with the baguette as my microphone.
I start belting out the chorus, matching her volume. Rachel, thinking she's still alone, almost jumps out of her skin when she realizes she's got an unexpected duet partner. She whips around, yanks off her headphones, and we have this brief, heart-stopping moment of eye contact. Then she bursts out laughing.
Turns out, she'd come home early, saw I was engrossed in my show, and decided to let me be while she tackled the chaos that was our Tupperware situation. She'd had no idea she was about to give me a mini heart attack.
To this day, every time I hear Whitney Houston, I have flashbacks to that night, my 'weapon' of choice, and the impromptu karaoke session. Rachel still teases me about how I tried to "fight off" a potential intruder with a loaf of bread. And me? Well, I make sure to always check if she's home before starting any true crime marathons.
One night,I was drifting off to sleep when my husband suddenly shot up in bed, swiping at his arms.
I asked him what was wrong. He said the spiders were on his arms. What spiders, you may ask?
The spiders that dream me apparently threw a box of at him.
He also told me that it was very rude to throw boxes of spiders at people.
He also told me that I wasn't allowed to sell our daughter. Which was very nice but I wasn't going to sell her. Again that would also be very rude.
It's very early morning and we're both sleeping in bed. My eyes are closed and my back is to him. I hear: "Are you going to get up?" I answer (half asleep) "Not yet." My husband says: "You heard that, too?" My blood went cold. Chills everywhere.
He thought I said it, I thought he said it. Neither of us said it.
Both of us had forgotten to set our alarms and would have been late for work. The voice woke us around our normal alarm time. We learned later that the previous owner had poltergeist-like activity years ago.
We're big fans of the ghost now but in the moment, it was incredibly creepy.
As far as what they thought of the replies to their post, the author says, "I found it fascinating that a significant amount of the people on the post talked about their experiences with a partner's somnambulism. It's a seemingly rare, but very creepy problem, and it has obviously affected a tremendous amount of the people who usually have to see a therapist to openly discuss the issue."
My wife was sleeping in the passenger seat on a late night drive home from visiting her family. Our very young kids are in the back seats out cold too.
She suddenly snaps up and grabs the wheel screaming something about how I, the totally awake and driving just fine driver, am about to drive us off a cliff. She was full strength trying to turn the wheel to the right, which would have been bad.
I started yelling "No NO NO!!" Quickly realizing that wasn't stopping her I had to full on NBA rebound the wheel with my elbows way out, and shove her very hard back into her seat. I managed to get a hold of her upper arm and used it to shove her into the door when she apparently still hadn't realized the reality of the situation and made another grab for the wheel.
There was a lot of cursing and screaming. It was not pretty.
Once she figured out what she had done, she lost it and started gasp-crying worse than I've ever seen.
The rest of the drive home was pretty rough.
This sounds like a person coming out of a night terror. I've suffered night terrors many times over the years. It kind of surfs a weird place between dreaming and being awake. I've literally come out of a dream fighting. If it happens often, consider a sleep clinic to diagnose sleep problems.
I woke up once and he was laughing in his sleep. Then I heard our kid laughing in her sleep. She was upstairs and I heard her through the monitor. I was super creeped out the rest of the night.
My husband and I were asleep when I’m awoken to my husband sitting up with his finger to his lip going “shhhh” 🤫. So naturally I said “Why are you saying shhh?” And he deadass pointed to the dark corner of the room and said “because that man over there wants you to be quiet.” It still gives me the chills.
Finally, the OP added, "People are weird and do weird things. Some of those things are oddly endearing, but sometimes it goes beyond that, into the realm of frightening and alarming. Regardless of which category the responses fell into, it's a topic that draws attention and inspires discussion - if for no other reason than just to compare our experiences to the experiences of others."
Not married, but my ex was a marine with some pretty gnarly ptsd. One of the first few nights I spent at his place, I woke up to him yelling at me to get down, covering my body with his, and start yelling military-like orders.
I had not known his ptsd was that bad up until that point and it scared the absolute f**k out of me.
My husband is a hugger. One night he was asleep very soundly, and rolled over to hug me. And he held me and squeezed me so tight that I could hardly breathe, it was a deathgrip. He wouldn't wake up, didn't let go, and I wasn't strong enough to break free. I had to bite him, which still didn't wake him up, just made him let go. And then I had to explain the bite mark the next day (didn't draw blood, but was tender and a bruise). He was mortified.
Back when my husband and I were dating, there were nights when he (asleep) kinda sensed that I was about to get up (to go to the bathroom) and pulled me back close to him. Not in a deathgrip style, but human arms can still be quite heavy. It was very cute but also sliiiightly inconvenient if you have a full bladder...
He bought a bulk bag of tiny plastic babies and put them everywhere that I might find them. In my medicine bottles, in tissue boxes, there's even one swimming in a tub of Vaseline in the bathroom. They're everywhere.
Edited to add that I have located the bag-o-babies. I plan to retaliate. Now accepting ideas on where to put them.
My husband talks in his sleep. One time, he rolled over toward me, chuckled, and then said, “Your bones are finally dry.” He never remembers what he says by morning but I’ll literally never forget that one lol.
I was in a five year relationship. Every week we would buy like 18 eggs. But she was vegan and I wasn’t eating those eggs. So this goes on month after month.
I start getting mad that she is clearly throwing them away.
What a waste. Like even if you’re vegan you’re just leading me to buy more eggs which supports the industry even more.
I start seeing the kitchen is a mess when I wake up. I go to bed after her, I get up before her. What the hell.
Then one day I hit my head on a wall in the middle of the night. It woke me up. I had a plate of maybe 8 eggs and a messy kitchen. I had been sleep walking and cooking. Never happened after that.
He sometimes makes sounds like The Predator in his sleep. It is not a good sound to wake up to. I wake up in terror every single time, and he's still out cold, clicking and drooling away.
Have him checked for sleep apnea. I apparently had sleep apnea for a long time, and when I finally had it diagnosed, it had become so severe that I was getting almost no sleep at all. Get checked. I've been on a CPAP machine for about a week and a half now, and although it may need some adjustment, I already feel 10 years younger and have twice as much energy.
She watches surgery videos to relax before bed.
I watch Air Crash Investigation before bed. The narrator has such a soothing voice. 😅
My wife talks in her sleep. Usually just things about her day, a video game she’s playing, etc.
However.
One night, I walk into our bedroom and she says (sounding very cognizant, mind you), “Who is that with you?”
…I demanded she wake up and reassure me she was sleeping and had not, in fact, seen someone entering the room behind me.
On a slightly less creepy occasion, as I was coming into the room, she said “You’re coming to bed now? Then who is in bed with me?”
…I did wake her up for that one as well 😅.
I guess sleep walking is genetic and I married into it. My husband and all three kids sleep walk. When the kids were little, I rarely got a full nights sleep. Bonus was one night the oldest decided the walls were dirty so she cleaned all the walls in the living room with her blanket.
My cousin, aged maybe six, once threw his bedding down the stairs, then went down after it, and cuddled in. My aunt, wondering what the noise was, startet to come out of the sitting room, only to find the door (adjacent to the foot of the stairs) mostly blocked by her sleepwalking son. "What are you doing there" - "This is my bed now, let me sleep."
Husband was asleep next to me, I had stayed up reading. All of a sudden he starts talking about how there’s a vampire outside the house. Still dead asleep.
I thought it was kinda funny until he starts describing the vampire coming into our house. “He’s opening the door…now he’s sneaking through the vent….now he’s in the next room over…”
I woke his a*s up so fast. I didn’t sign up for a f*****g ghost story in my own damn house. F**k that.
My boyfriend has a highly suggestable state of almost hypnosis right before he falls asleep or right when you suddenly wake him up. It has led to many creepy things, but the worst one by far was the time I came into the bedroom, turned on the light, and he just vampire sits up in bed, like fully mechanical bending only at the waist. He then very slowly and mechanically turns his head to me, smiles very very wide, and says
"I'm really glad you're here." In the CREEPIEST SLOW VOICE. I decided to go right back downstairs for the night. He doesn't remember it at all.
My husband and I met online and married after only six months. It was a whirlwind but it was the right choice—10 years in and it’s still great. However! One night a month or two after we married, I woke up in the night to him death gripping my skull. Not sure if he was sleeping, I panicked, thinking I’d married an abuser. I talked to him, nothing. I finally eased his hand off of me and breathed a sigh of relief. Another few seconds went by and his hand whipped out and grabbed my skull again. Then I really panicked. Eventually he let go and I lay there in the dark trying not to think of what I’d gotten myself into and being grateful he grabbed me where he did, and not an inch or two further down where his fingers would have gone into my eyes.
Come morning, he had absolutely no memory of this whatsoever. He has never done it again. He has never been even remotely harsh with me, ever, so it’s something we laugh about now. What I wouldn’t give to know what he was dreaming that night!!
I'd like to know what my husband was dreaming when he said - quite clearly - "B***H!" I asked him about it the next morning and he had no clue he'd said it or what he was dreaming about.
Back when my husband and I were dating, we lived in apartment that had a hospice patient in the apartment below us who eventually passed.
One night my husband fell asleep with the TV on. I woke to turn it off and went back to bed. He suddenly sat up in bed and stared at the doorway to our room for a few minutes. Eyes wide open. I'm freaking out at this point thinking he's f*****g with me, I'm trying to get him to respond, saying it's not funny anymore. He just suddenly says, "you're not welcome here." Stares for about 5 more minutes and then just lays down and goes back to sleep with his back to me.
Needless to say, no matter what I did that man would not wake up. The next morning he had no memory of it and it never happened again. Still makes my gut churn when I think back on it.
**Edit to update since it's been asked a bunch. The hospice patient had passed away in the apartment directly below us like a week before this incident. So the timing just made it that much scarier 😭😭.
It’s so weird to me how you can move and talk and have your eyes open but you’re also asleep. I’ve only had that happen one time when I was 8 and had a sleepover with my cousin and I was apparently looking at my cousin and asking if she wanted to watch frozen
I woke up one night to a knocking sound, and when I rolled over to wake my girlfriend ( who I'm now married to ) I found she was not in bed. The lights outside the room were off, and I laid there for a moment, listening to the sound before it stopped. I called her name, but received no answer. The entire house was dark, and we lived in the boons, out in the middle of nowhere in Oregon.
When I finally got the balls to wake up and investigate the sound and her whereabouts, I found nothing - until I reached the kitchen. As I was walking around, calling her name, I heard knocking again and found it coming from the closed pantry door. I called her name. Nothing. I stared at the door for what felt like minutes before I opened it and found her in there walking over and over again into the wall on the far side of the larder. She was completely naked, and this was the first instance of her experiencing somnambulism, which has, to this day, occurred quite frequently and seems to become stranger and stranger over time.
Screamed “blood” in the middle of the night…it was the first time I’d ever heard him sleep talk, let alone sleep scream.
I shaved the side of my head, and the first thing he did was lick my scalp. I have never been more offended or disturbed in my life.
I'm the creepy one, sadly. I have a sleep disorder where I wake up in REM. It makes me functionally psychotic in various ways, as in I see and hear hallucinations (made up things), illusions (misinterpret real things), and have a strong sense of being watched/persecuted. Usually I think there's surveillance around, or people trying to crawl through the windows, etc. No meds really seem to touch it, I just have to try not to wake up in the middle of the night suddenly, like if there's a noise outside or a glowing light, something to combine with waking in REM and seeing something unusual. It tends to be every few weeks, unless there's a lot of noise outside to wake me up.
Last night, in fact, I was arguing with the people climbing through the window that they weren't going to murder me. I am 100% not kidding. I sleep in a different room, so he can be sure to get enough sleep for work!
Right now I sleep in a room that's got plants in the window, and they're often illuminated at night by the neighbor leaving her living room light on all night. It backlights the snake plants and they create all sorts of illusions for me, rats climbing the walls, baby birds screaming for food, hands reaching through, etc. I sleep with a mask over my eyes but if I wake up and hear something that startles me I rip it off and freak out lol.
Over the years I've come up with a few 'pacts' I have with myself to cope, one of which is to just take pictures of the terrible things I think are going to hurt me, and then go back to sleep. Either they're real and they'll finally get me, or they're fake and[ it'll just be a picture of the same window as before](https://imgur.com/a/uU2LrJj), but I need my sleep! One week we had neighbors moving in next door without a moving truck so they'd just show up with their cars and unload late into the night. I have a bunch of pictures of the same window, over and over, night after night!
edit: holy s**t, there's a big crowd of us doing wild s**t in our sleep, hugs to all.
Doesn’t feel creepy now but it did then: my husband sat bolt upright in bed, still asleep, in the middle of the night, rummaged on the floor to find a small blanket. He then fluffed that blanket over me and stole the entire comforter out from under it. Immediately back to snoring.
Okay, I got a pretty good one. One time my wife (at the time girlfriend) and I decided to climb up to the roof of her apartment complex to have a few beers and chat. This was in the COVID era (roughly late May, early June) and we were discussing some plans we could do together. The sun sets and we're about to pick up our stuff to head inside. As we stand up she makes a comment about coming back up here to watch fireworks for the 4th of July. I'm not exaggerating, literally within 5 seconds of her saying that a lone firework goes off in the distance in a close neighborhood. And we're both just standing there wondering how she manifested this. I'm convinced she's a witch and I love her
The side of my city is definitely known to have some random fireworks but it being at least a few weeks out from the 4th and the timing on her comment was just a WILD coincidence.
Before we started dating, my wife stalked me. Once, she called me at 1:00AM, saying that she just happened to be on my street and found a lost dog, knowing full damned well that I have a soft spot for strays. When I came outside, she said the dog ran away, and we spent the next two hours trying to track it down. I'm starting to think that there was never a dog.
My wife likes to jolt awake in the middle of the night claiming there are spiders in the bed. I don’t even freak out anymore. Just tell her there aren’t and she goes right back to sleep. The first couple times it happened were alarming though.
I've had that a few times. And then, one nignt, there was an actual, big spider on my pillow. It was really weird because I was sure I ws sleeping, but I did see it crawl up. So apparently I do open my eyes at night sometimes? Poor partner, who was so ready to assure me I was dreaming, had to evict this massive spider st 4am..
I’m not a sleep-talker, but apparently in my sleep I once shook my ex-husband awake in a panic in the dead of night after we were first married, and when he woke up in a frenzy, all I did was turn eerily towards him, press a finger to my lips, and go, “Shhhhhhhh,” really softly before laying back down. He was horrified.
Is the guy another person from one of these previous posts lol
She laughed in her sleep in like that fake evil laugh kinda way, then got real quiet, then started to quietly make this high pitched humming sound and slowly crescendoed it into a full on “AHHHHHH!” Then rolled over and started snoring again. Had no recollection of it the next day. Hasn’t done it since.
Check her vocal range. Maybe she's a budding coloratura soprano!
Not consistently, but there have been periods of creepy sleeping activity. For a few weeks he would take his underwear off with no recollection (more funny than creepy). Then a few months go by with no incident. Then for another few weeks I was getting jump-scared awake because 1. The ceiling was falling 2. The light in the ceiling was freaking him out (there was no light in the ceiling) 3. He fully jumped up out of bed then jumped on top of me to protect me from the falling ceiling (kinda sweet?). Thankfully that's subsided. Sometimes he'll talk in him sleep but lately he jerks while falling asleep.
Well, considering I've never seen a bedroom without a ceiling light, perhaps the light was freaking him out because it fell out the ceiling. /j
My spouse got 2 hampsters and named them both my first name. One ended up murdering and eating the other before dying itself.
I had a little too much to drink back in college. It was 1am and my girlfriend was in bed asleep when I got home. I don’t know why but I decided to call her name and wake her up. I grabbed a pillow, stared at her and said in a monotone “I love you … and that’s why I have to kill you” and then lunged at her with the pillow. She was up and out of that bed and heading for the door so fast. I thought it was hilarious. Looking back I don’t understand why she didn’t just stab me to death in my sleep.
I have the uncanny ability to turn my hand to an incredible angle to retrieve my alarm (which is above my head), find the tiny off button, turn it off, put it back, and continue sleeping. All while being absolutely unconscious and asleep.
I have the uncanny ability to turn my hand to an incredible angle to retrieve my alarm (which is above my head), find the tiny off button, turn it off, put it back, and continue sleeping. All while being absolutely unconscious and asleep.