What does a teenage cowboy say when he throws somebody out of the saloon?

“Yeet haw!”

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What do you call a happy cowboy?

A jolly rancher.

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BeardedVulture

BeardedVulture

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2 years ago

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Well isn’t that sweet!

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Why did the cowboy take hay to bed?

To feed his nightmares.

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Which cowboy is famous for starting fires?

Flint Eastwood!

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Where do Viking Cowboys go when they die?

Y'allhalla.

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BeardedVulture

BeardedVulture

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2 years ago

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This sounds more like the war cry of queens slaying in Ballroom

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What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?

Both want to put a winchester in their mouth.

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Blake the wolf

Blake the wolf

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10 months ago

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This gave me whiplash

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"I’m making a new cowboy film called "The Sun". It’s set in the west!"

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Why are cowboy hats curled up on the side?

So they can fit three in the pickup.

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What’s the time when your cow sits on your cowboy hat?

Time to get a new cowboy hat!

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How do you warm up a frozen cowboy?

Yee thaw!

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What do you call a takeout low-calorie meal for a cowboy?

A saddle light dish.

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How do space cowboys wrangle their cattle?

A tractor beam.

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Why did everybody think the cowboy was so funny?

Because he was always horsing around.

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What did the young cowboy say when his sweet little dog went missing?

“Doggone!”

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What’s a cowboy’s least favorite car?

A cattle-lack.

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What is it called when a cowboy dies and comes back to life?

Reintarnation.

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What do you call a retired old cowboy?

De-ranged.

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A cowboy rides into town wearing a paper suit and paper hat. He wasn’t in town five minutes before he was arrested for rustling.

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Why was the cowboy sad?

He couldn’t giddy-up.

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What do the Dallas Cowboys and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?

Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

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Why are so many cowboys also gamblers?

Because they always like raising the steaks!

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Who wrote the book “Talk Like a Cowboy?”

Hal D. Yall.

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How does a cowboy usually greet an equestrian?

“Howdy Neigh-bor”.

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What do you call a cowboy who teaches acting class?

A stagecoach.

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How did the cowboy know his cattle were behind him without looking?

He herd them.

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Why did the bow-legged cowboy lose his job on the ranch?

He couldn’t keep his calves together!

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Knock, knock! Who is it over there? Howdy. Howdy who? Howey partner.

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Dave Burley

Dave Burley

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2 years ago

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That's not how knock knock jokes work

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What did the Jedi say to the cowboy?

May the horse be with you.

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How do German cowboys greet each other?

“Audi, partner!”

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How do cowboys keep their cattle quiet?

Press the moooote button!

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What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo?

“This ain’t my first rodeo.”

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Why can’t cowboys ever get the right answer in math class?

Because they’re always rounding things up.

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How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to change a tire?

One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.

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What did the cowboy say when his wife threatened to leave him?

He said, "It's just like Sparks says, 'This town ain't big enough for both of us'."

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In what fashion does a cowboy arrive at a hockey game?

He usually arrives in a zam-pony!

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What is the secret to cowboys being extremely rich?

I think the only reason is that their horse often gives them a few bucks every day!

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Why don’t cowboys shoo the flies buzzing around them?

It’s easier to let them go bare foot.

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How do you kill a rodeo clown?

Go for the juggler!

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What did the egg say to the rodeo clown?

You crack me up!

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What does a cowboy eat before a rodeo?

Bullogna.

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What do you call a bull that fell asleep at the rodeo?

A bulldozer.

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How do Chinese Cowboys greet each other?

They say, "NiHowdy!"

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An insurance agent approaches a cowboy, trying to sell him an accident policy.

The agent inquires, "Have you ever had an accident?"

"Never," the cowboy responds. "However, just recently a horse kicked in two of my ribs, and back a couple years ago a rattlesnake bit my ankle."

"Wouldn't you call these accidents?" says the puzzled agent.

"Nah," the cowboy replies. "They both did it on purpose!"

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What is a cowboy's favourite ice cream?

Yee-Häagen-Dazs!

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How did the cowboy do that?

"I ask you again: Howdy do?"

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Why don't cowboys make good lovers?

Because they think a good ride is eight seconds.

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What does a cowboy say to his wife when the nature’s calling?

"Honey, I think I got a DIARR-HEE-YAW."

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Why was the rodeo clown frustrated with his job?

He was tired of all the bull.

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What do you call someone who works at a rodeo?

An EmployYee.

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What's a rodeo clown's favorite type of bar?

A honky tonk!

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What do you call a take-out low-calorie meal for a cowboy?

A saddle light dish.

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Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.

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Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.

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What do you call a cowboy with A truckload of sheep?

A pimp!

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A cowboy rides into town in the Wild West and shoots an artist.

The sheriff asks him, “Why did you do that?”

The cowboy says, “I thought he was going to draw.”

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What is the highest honor among Cowboy poets?

Poet lariat.

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What does a cowboy call a horse that keeps losing its iPad?

An Appaloosa!

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What happened after the old cowboy actor passed away?

He rode off into the sunset.

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Why did the cow kick Roy Rogers?

She heard he was a cowpuncher.

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Did you hear about the cowboy who died with his boots on?

He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!

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Why do cowboys always ride horses?

Because they’re far too heavy to carry!

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Is a cowboy with his foot across the Canadian border in Canada?

Just aboot.

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What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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What do cowboys tell their cows after an argument?

“Turn the udder cheek and moooove on!”

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A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows.

I said, “Sure, that’s 20 cows.”

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What do ghost cowboys wear?

Boo-ts!

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Where do cowboys cook their beans?

On the range.

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What did the cowboy say to the old man when he accused him of farting?

“Darn tootin’.”

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If a cowboy rides into town on Friday and three days later, leaves on Friday, how does he do it?

The horse’s name is Friday!

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Three cowboys are riding in a truck, all dressed head-to-toe identically. Who is the smartest?

The one in the middle because he doesn’t have to drive or open the gate.

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What illness can cowboys catch from their horses?

Bronc-itis.

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Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?

He has got no beef.

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Two cowboys are lost in a desert. One cowboy sees a tree full of bacon and shouts, “It’s a bacon tree; we’re saved!” He runs toward the tree and gets shot. It wasn’t a bacon tree. It was a hambush.

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A cowboy is riding on his horse in a desert. Suddenly, he sees a man lying down with his ear to the ground.

The man: “A carriage. Six horses. Three black, two brown and one white.”

The cowboy: “Wow! You can hear all of that?!”

The man: “No, they just ran me over.”

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What do you call a cowboy who works in finance?

The loan arranger.

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Cowboys don’t roll, they tumble.

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What do you call a cowboy’s outfit?

Ranch dressing.

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What do the Cowboys and the post office have in common?

Neither deliver on Sundays.

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What do cowboys make when the sun comes up?

Shadows.

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Where do cowboys go to think things over?

The ponder-osa.

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Where do cowboys feed their herd lunch?

The calf-eteria.

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What did the cowboy say to the artist?

Draw, partner.

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How do cowboys keep their cattle calm?

Play them relaxing moooosic.

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How did the cowboy react when he bought a new yo-yo?

He simply said, "Well, this ain't my first yo-yo".

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n modern times, how does a millennial cowboy speak?

He simply says, "Yeet Haw"!

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Which is the only team that the cowboys support?

The cowboys are all avid fans of the Spurs!

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What is the perfect way to call a cowboy who is always without money despite being a film actor?

You call him always broke Skint Eastwood!

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What does the cowboy say after he is given a boring job at the factory?

After a long, tiring day, he says that his work is howdy pressing!

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If ever there was a fight, who would a zombie cowboy fight with?

It would most definitely fight with the deadskins!

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While taking out his herd, where do the cowboy take his cattle?

The cowboy rides them up to Moo York!

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What special characteristic did the artist cowboy have in his forte?

He was excellent at drawing!

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Knock, knock!

Who is it over there?

Hans.

Hans who?

Take your Hans off my gold.

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What did the cowboys think about the campfire?

They gave it glowing reviews.

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Which kind of dinosaur can be found at a rodeo?

A bronco-saurus!

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"Would you and your friend like to get some team roping?"

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"Hey missy, I wouldn’t mind throwin a lasso around your boots and a pullin you this a way."

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Who wears a cowboy hat, black leather jacket with studs, cowboy boots, a big silver belt buckle, and black lipstick?

Goth Brooks.

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"I might have looked like Woody, but you must know that you’ve not just got a friend in me."

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"We can run away with my dark horse and live in our own paradise for the rest of our lives."

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"I am amazed that you are indeed a cowgirl as you already stolen of our hearts in this room."

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What do you call a rodeo bull with a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

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Do bulls have love handles?

No, they have rodeo grips.

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The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions.

"Ever have an accident?"

"Nope, nary a one."

"None? You've never had any accidents."

"Nope. Ain't had one. Never."

"Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?"

"Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."

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Why did the southern cowboy lose the duel?

He was slow on that drawl.

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What did the furry cowboy say when he was excited?

“Yiffy-ki-yay!”

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ZOEY KLESH

ZOEY KLESH

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2 years ago

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Uh oh

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"Some people call me the space cowboy. Some call me the gangster of love. Some people call me Maurice..."

"Yes that's very nice sir, now can you show me your license please?"

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What do a cowboy, chef, and a dom all have in common?

They must whip it, whip it good.

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What’s the difference between a rodeo clown and a politician?

The rodeo clown tries to avoid the bull.

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What did the cowboy maggot say when he went into the saloon bar?

"Gimme a slug of whiskey."

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How do cowboys like their duck?

A L'arange.

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What do you call a cowboy who helps out at school?

The deputy head!

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What weights 126 pounds and wears a Stetson?

A nine-stone cowboy.

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What do cowboys say about Painful Puns that feature equines?

"Neigh!"

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What does a cowboy call bad directions from a cow?

A bum steer.

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What did the cowboy call a horse with no hair on his neck?

He shall remain maneless.

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What do cattle ranchers like to use when they send texts?

E-moo-jis.

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What do high tech Aussie cowboys call their stock?

E-moos.

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What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?

Hopalong Cassidy.

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What do cowboys call midnight?

High moon.

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What does it mean when a cowboy finds a horseshoe?

His horse is walking around in his socks.

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What’s it called when cowboys eat beans at high noon?

A toot-out at the O.K. Corral.

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Why did the cowboy pinstripe his truck?

He needed a pick up line.

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Why do Canadian cowboys have sticky feet?

Maple stirrups.

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Did you hear the Cowboys had a touchdown in Philadelphia yesterday?

It was at the airport!

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What is the first rule cowboys learn before filling up a canteen?

To go upstream from the herd.

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Knock Knock.

Who’s there?

Heywood.

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What did Kenny Rogers do after his favorite cowboy boots snapped into two pieces?

In tribute to his cowboy boots, he wrote the song 'You picked a fine time to leave me, loose heel'.

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What did the catholic cowboy do when he met the father of the church on his confession visit?

He greeted him by saying, "Howdy Pardoner!"

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Why did the police arrest the cowboy for rustling?

The police arrested him because the cowboy secretly took the cattle of his neighbors!

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How do you refer to a cowboy who is suffering from gastric distress?

You definitely call him Wyatt Burp!

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What did the cowboy do when he counted his cows and found there were 97 of them instead of 100?

He simply rounded them!

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Why did the cowboy kill an artist when he went to the new west town?

He simply thought that the artist was going to draw!

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A three-legged dog walked into the saloon and said, “I’m alookin’ fer the man what shot my paw!”

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"Girl I know how to shove my hips, I do it for a living!"

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A cowboy enters a saloon and says to the bartender “Give me a drink for a real man!” The bartender served him a shot of whisky, but the cowboy spits it out and yell, “This stuff is for kids… give me something for a man!” Bartender makes a mix of some of the most powerful stuff he had available, even adding some kerosene, hot sauce, and finishing with a 45 caliber bullet. “Now THAT’s something good!” At that, the cowboy paid for the drink and left. A week later, the cowboy returns, “Give me another of those man drinks, but hold the bullet. Last week I threw a fart and killed the horse.”

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A cowboy walks into a bank wearing only his hat and his gun. A Security guard taps him on the shoulder and says “excuse me sir, you’re not wearing a mask and have to leave.”

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Cowboy walks into a blacksmith shop. Starts picking up some tools and looking them over. Blacksmith starts getting annoyed. As he walks over to the him, the cowboy picks up a horseshoe that the blacksmith just made and burns his hand. Blacksmith says "did it burn ya?" Cowboy says "nope, just doesnt take me very long to look at a horseshoe".

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A cowboy shot his wife dead. When asked why he said…

"She broke her ankle."

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So the cowboys hire a native american tracker. The tracker would often dismount his horse, look closely at the ground, sniff, put his ears on the ground, etc. So today they are riding a trail. Tracker asks for a halt, gets off the horse and holds his ears to the ground. Gets up says "Buffalo come!"

Cowboy says "Wow! You can feel the vibrations of the herd moving?"

Tracker : "No. Face sticky!"

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What's it called when a cowboy has a learning disability?

Yeehawtism.

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Two cowboys are on the edge of a cliff when they hear the sound of wardrums. One cowboy looks at the other and says, “I don’t like the sound of those war drums.” From below, they hear somebody shout, “He’s not our regular drummer!”

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A cowboy and a Roman soldier walked to a bar, and the bartender is deaf. The cowboy wanted 4 beers, so he showed 4 fingers and the roman soldier wanted 4 beers so he showed 3 fingers.

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One day the Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding in a canyon, and suddenly they are completely surrounded and cut off by angry natives.

The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto and says, “Well, this looks like the end for us, old friend.”

Tonto replies, “What you mean by ‘us,’ paleface?”

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A cowboy is riding along a trail in the old west and sees an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.

As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself “Wagon…two gray horses… two passengers, man and woman…man driving.”

The cowboy goes “Wow! you can tell all that by just putting your ear to the ground?”

The Indian replies “No. Wagon pass half hour ago, run me over.”