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158 Cow Puns That Show How Wonderful These Animals Are

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Four legs, cleft hooves, and a mouth with no upper teeth. Two horns, an udder, and a swishy tail. These words create a truly wondrous image - one that comes before your very own eyes as if from a mist, slowly revealing a statuesque picture of a… cow! And we are pretty certain that cows with their wet noses and plate-sized eyes rimmed by luscious lashes deserve all the poetry on Earth. However, to us, poetry comes in a slightly different manner than the rest. You probably know where we are headed here, right? Yep, you guessed it - to us, poetry equals silly puns because having a little loving chortle beats any ballad or sonnet. For us, anyway. And so - this is our list dedicated to cow puns, and to cow puns only.

Out of the many topics for funny wordplays, animal puns are by far our favorite. See, animals are already cute, making all the witticisms about them into inherently cute puns. So, a double whammy - it’s fun, AND it’s cute. Try and beat this combo; we’re waiting! Also, talking specifically about these adorable puns dedicated to cows, they’re as rich with phonetic jokes as the sea is with fishes. And while a ‘moo’ is no siren’s song (as declared by many), to us, the very same ‘moo’ is the most calming sound to which we’d like to wake and fall asleep. So, incorporating it into a clever pun or two is basically a must.

But we’ve probably already done enough to show our devotion to these large ruminants, and now it’s exactly the right time to skip to the animal puns themselves. They are, just as always, a bit further down, and once you are there, give your vote for the best puns of the bunch. Also, it would be kind of you to share this article with your friends - we think they, too, would appreciate some cows and hilarious puns injected into their day.

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#1

Cow pun How do cows say “thank you” for dinner in Spanish?

Moo-chas grass-ias.

26points

DutchyInSpain 2 years ago

They would say the same for breakfast, lunch and snacks

1point

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#2

Déjà Moo is the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

24points

foofoofloofy 2 years ago

Best one yet.

3points

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#3

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

They lactose.

22points

Casey Howe 1 year ago

i thought that they were lactose n tolerant

1point

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#4

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

22points

Casey Howe 1 year ago

very funny not

1point

#5

What would you hear at a cow concert?

Moo-sic!

19points

#6

Cow pun What did the bull say to his son when he was going off to school?

Bison!!!

18points

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#7

What do you call a cow in an earthquake?

A milkshake!

17points

#8

What happens when you talk to a cow?

It goes in one ear and out the udder!

17points

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#9

Did you hear about the famous cow?

They say her milk is Legend Dairy.

17points

#10

What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?

It’s pasture bedtime.

16points

#11

Cow pun Where do cows get all their medicine?

The farmacy.

16points

Beth Innocence 2 years ago

Oh come on, people! If you don't like puns, get'a'MOOOOO'vin!

3points

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#12

What do you call the cow who hit it big playing the lottery?

A cash cow.

16points

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#13

What you do get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk.

16points

#14

What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk?

A milk dud.

15points

AVGucky 2 years ago

A bull.

0points

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#15

Why did the cow jump over the moon?

Because the farmer’s hands were cold.

14points

#16

Cow pun If a cowboy is happy, does that make him a… Jolly Rancher?

14points

My O My 2 years ago

Absolutely

0points

#17

Where do cow farts come from?

From their dairy air.

14points

#18

What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?

A baaaaaaad mooooood.

13points

Nicky 2 years ago

I love this joke!!!! Put it higher or I'll be in a baaaad mooood!

3points

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#19

What did the cow say to its therapist?

“I feel seen but not herd.”

13points

#20

What do you call cattle that tell jokes?

Laughing stock.

13points

#21

Cow pun What time is it when a cow sits on your hat?

Time to get a new hat!

13points

#22

Why did the two cows hate each other?

They had beef.

12points

#23

I don’t even know what to tell you about this divine bovine I just saw. I mean, just, like, holy cow…

12points

#24

Why was the cow so afraid of messing up?

Because the steaks were high.

12points

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#25

Why did the farmer stop telling cow puns?

Because he butchered every joke.

12points

DutchyInSpain 2 years ago

Yeah, the feeling I get with most of these "pubs"...

3points

#26

Cow pun What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow?

Udder nonsense.

11points

#27

What do you call two ducks and a cow?

Quackers and milk.

11points

#28

How do you get a cow to keep quiet?

Press the moooote button.

11points

#29

What does a cow watch?

MooTube.

11points

#30

What do you call a redneck motorcycle?

Cow-a-sock-ee.

11points

Ronda News Channel 2 years ago

Kawasaki 😊

0points

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#31

Cow pun What’s a cow’s favorite James Taylor song?

Something in the Way She Moos.

11points

#32

What kind of milk do you get from a forgetful cow?

Milk of amnesia.

11points

#33

I have a farmer friend who heats his milk products to 212 degrees Fahrenheit using cow chips.

Yep. It’s called pasture-ized milk.

11points

#34

All the farmers cows stopped producing milk…

It was a case of real udder chaos.

11points

#35

Did you hear that they genetically engineered a milk cow to have no teats?

It was udderly pointless.

11points

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#36

Cow pun What did the cow say to her misbehaving calf?

I am not amoosed by you.

11points

#37

Why was the cow sad?

She was moody.

11points

#38

Why did the cow get a ticket?

Because of a mooing violation.

11points

#39

What do you call a cow eating grass?

A Lawn Moo-er.

11points

#40

Why doesn’t Sweden export it’s cattle?

It wants to keep its Stockholm.

11points

#41

Cow pun Why did the Secret Service surround the president with dozens of cows?

They were trying to beef up security.

10points

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#42

How did the cow get to Mars?

It flew through udder space.

10points

#43

What do cows eat for breakfast?

Moosli.

10points

#44

What do you call a strong cow?

Beefy.

10points

#45

What did the cow say to the cheese?

"I am your father."

10points

Down With Agent Hedgehog! 2 years ago

Emmmm mother I think

8points

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#46

Cow pun Why couldn’t the cow gain weight?

She was more of a grazer.

10points

#47

Why is it so hard to hurt a cow’s feelings?

They’re skin’s as thick as leather.

10points

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#48

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lack-tose.

10points

#49

Cow telling her family history:

My grandfather was a knight. He was Sir Loin.

10points

#50

Why was the farmer mad at his cow?

The excuse she gave was a bunch of bull.

10points

#51

Cow pun What do you call a cow who does magic?

Moo-dini.

10points

#52

What do you call a cow with no spots?

A Moo-tant.

10points

#53

Why weren’t the cows in the field?

They Moooooved.

10points

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#54

It is now legal to park bovines with foot coverings in motorcycle parking spaces.

They’re officially labeled as Cowasockies.

10points

#55

What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?

A cow pi.

10points

#56

Cow pun What’s a cow’s favorite newspaper?

The Daily Moos.

9points

#57

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Cow says.

Cow says who?

No, silly. Cow say MOOOOOOOO.

9points

#58

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow, wh — MOOOOOO!

9points

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#59

What do you get when a cow jumps on a trampoline?

Milkshake.

9points

#60

What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow?

A steak out.

9points

#61

Cow pun Why do cows read magazines?

They love the cattle-logs.

9points

#62

What do you call a cow that’s laying down?

Ground beef.

9points

Anybox 2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

#63

How does a cow become invisible?

Through camooflage.

9points

#64

My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana.

The steaks have never been so high!

9points

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#65

What do you call a funny cow?

A cowmedian.

9points

#66

Cow pun Where do cows go on holiday?

Moo Zealand.

9points

#67

What do you call a cow that can part water?

Moo-ses.

9points

Nicky 2 years ago

This joke is biblical!

0points

#68

What does a surfing cow say?

Cowabunga!

9points

#69

What do you get when you cross a cow and a goat?

A coat.

9points

#70

What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?

An udder failure.

9points

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#71

Cow pun What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

9points

#72

What are cow knees called?

Burger joints.

9points

#73

Why was the cow banned from ballet class?

It kept practicing its Dairy Air.

9points

#74

What do cows tell each other at bedtime?

Dairy tales.

9points

#75

What does the cow do when she’s got leverage?

Milks it for all it’s worth.

9points

#76

Cow pun How did the bull earn the farmer’s trust?

He said, “Seriously, have I ever steered you wrong?”

9points

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#77

Why couldn’t the cow learn?

Everything went in one ear and out the udder.

9points

#78

Why don’t cows understand what you say?

Because it goes in one ear and comes out the udder!

9points

#79

What do you call a cow who’s forgotten how to make milk?

Udder-ly confused.

9points

#80

What do cows listen to at parties?

Moo-sic.

9points

#81

Cow pun Did you hear about the two cows who fought to the death?

It was crazy, their lives were at steak.

9points

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#82

Where do cows eat lunch?

In the calfeteria.

9points

#83

What do you call a cow that just gave birth.

De-calf-nated.

9points

#84

Why did the cow get a massage?

To re-hoove-inate.

9points

#85

How can you tell if a cow is exceptional?

It’s outstanding in its field.

9points

#86

Cow pun What’s a cow’s best subject in school?

Cow-culus.

9points

#87

Why was the cow afraid?

He was a cow-herd.

8points

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#88

What happens when a cow laughs?

Milk comes out of its nose.

8points

#89

Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals.

8points

#90

How do farmers count their cows?

They use a cowculator.

8points

#91

Cow pun What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?

Cowboom.

8points

#92

What do you call a fight between two herds of cows?

A cattle battle.

8points

#93

What did the cow and bull do for their first date?

Dinner and a moooovie.

8points

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#94

Why don’t bulls play archery?

They might hit a bulls-eye.

8points

#95

What do you call a feminine cow?

A dairy queen.

8points

#96

Cow pun Why does a milking stool only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder.

8points

#97

Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them?

In case they bypassed the milky way!

8points

#98

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky.

8points

#99

How do cows laugh?

Moo-haha.

8points

Nicky 2 years ago

How do evil cows laugh? Moooo-hahahahaha

1point

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#100

Why don’t cows have any money?

Farmers milk them dry.

8points

#101

Cow pun How did the farmer find his lost cow?

He tractor down.

8points

#102

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?

De-calf-inated.

8points

#103

My butcher gave me beef from a female cow.

I said, “I believe this is a Miss Steak.”

8points

#104

I saw a cow spontaneously catch on fire the other day. Guess you could call it a rare experience.

8points

#105

How do you tuck in a cow?

Bull Sheets.

8points

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#106

Cow pun I have a decent joke about a cow, but it’s pretty offensive, so I’ll probably need to take it down. Or, you know, have it remooooooved.

8points

#107

What is an evening of self-care for a cow?

Moovies, moosic, and mooisturizer.

8points

#108

How does a cow apologize?

It kowtows.

8points

#109

What did the cow say at the end of the workday?

An udder day, an udder dollar.

8points

#110

What do you call a Russian bovine covered in lichen?

Moscow.

8points

Nicky 2 years ago

Great!!

0points

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#111

Cow pun What did one cow thief say to the other before their big heist?

Put on your cow-moo gear — we need to be sneaky.

8points

#112

What do you call it when two cows live together in harmony?

Cowhabitation.

8points

#113

Cow farmers say their job is hard, but I think they’re just milking it.

8points

#114

It’s so hot outside that my cow started giving powdered milk!

8points

#115

Why don’t cows have any money?

Because farmers milk them dry.

8points

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#116

Cow pun Want to hear a joke about milk… No it’s too cheesey.

8points

#117

Why did the cow start a fight with his buddy?

There was real beef between them!

8points

#118

What happens when a calf gives her mom attitude?

She tans its hide.

8points

#119

Why were the two bulls ignoring each other?

They had a lot of beef.

8points

#120

Why don’t bulls play archery?

They might hit a bulls-eye.

8points

#121

Cow pun What did the cow say to the other cow on the hill?

I’m udder-neath you.

8points

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#122

What did the farmer say when his cow wouldn’t produce milk?

This is udderly problematic!

8points

#123

Why do cows lie down in the rain?

To keep each udder dry.

8points

#124

What do you call a short cow in tall grass?

Udderly tickled.

8points

#125

What do you call the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before?

Deja-moo.

8points

#126

Cow pun What’s a cow’s favorite day of the year?

Moo Years Day.

8points

#127

What is a cow’s favorite drink?

Mountain Moo!

8points

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#128

How do ranchers keep track of all their cows?

They keep a cattle-log.

8points

#129

I got the mooves like Jagger.

8points

#130

Make sure you show up on time, otherwise Bessie will have a cow.

8points

#131

Cow pun Steer clear! Cows coming through!

8points

#132

Move! Get out of the hay!

8points

#133

Where did the bull lose all his money?

At the cow-sino.

8points

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#134

How did the cow know he was noble?

He was a Sir Loin.

7points

#135

What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster?

Roost beef.

7points

#136

Cow pun What do you call a sleeping cow?

A bull dozer.

7points

#137

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

7points

#138

What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog?

Hound beef.

7points

#139

What did the cow say to all her friends?

I am legen-dairy.

7points

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#140

What did the Auntie cow say to her niece?

“You’re so udderly cute!”

7points

#141

Cow pun What’s a cow’s favorite TV show?

Dr. Moo.

7points

#142

What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?

Blue cheese.

7points

#143

Why do cows wear bells?

Their horns don’t work.

7points

#144

If a cow is cold, you get a milkshake. But what do you get when the cow is even colder?

A dead cow.

7points

#145

I’d tell you a cow joke… but I would probably butcher it.

7points

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#146

Cow pun What’s a cow’s social media handle?

Bo-Vine.

7points

#147

What did the cow build it’s house out of?

Cottage Cheese.

7points

#148

Why don’t most cows lie?

They can smell bull.

7points

#149

Animal News Network had to fire its bovine news anchorman.

Because it was unrelia-bull.

7points

#150

What did the cow and bull do for their first date?

Dinner and a moovie.

7points

#151

Cow pun What do you get when you sit under a cow?

A pat on the head.

7points

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#152

Seize the moo-ment!

7points

Casey Howe 1 year ago

u imbasils copied my agg groups name and mad eit a cow pun that is just not okay I didn't think copy right was allowe in sa

0points

#153

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side!

6points

#154

How dair-y steal my milk!

6points

#155

This milk is udderly delicious.

6points

#156

Cow pun The milk’s gone bad – it’s enough to milk you sick.

5points

Eligijus Sinkunas

I’m a visual editor for Bored Panda, trying to find and select high-quality images to enhance articles across different formats. With a keen eye for detail, my goal is to ensure that each picture helps to attract readers into captivating visual experiences. As a freelancer, I’m also working as a video editor for a YouTube channel that makes music games. After work, I like to play with guitar, go to karate classes or just relax at home at play video games.

I’m a visual editor for Bored Panda, trying to find and select high-quality images to enhance articles across different formats. With a keen eye for detail, my goal is to ensure that each picture helps to attract readers into captivating visual experiences. As a freelancer, I’m also working as a video editor for a YouTube channel that makes music games. After work, I like to play with guitar, go to karate classes or just relax at home at play video games.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

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