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123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes

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Four legs, cleft hooves, a nose that takes up half its face, a toothless grin, a couple of horns, and an udder - see how aplenty is the material for jokes with a cow? It’s like Pandora’s box and a cornucopia mashed up for generating quips, wisecracks, and puns, all of which are hilarity itself, indeed. Whether you think of cows as these timid ruminants forever living in slow motion unbothered by worldly problems or if you think of them as the four-legged creatures happily frolicking in the Swiss Alps, you have to agree that in either of these pictures you can find something funny about its main hero, the cow. It might be its oddly shaped neckless body, it might be the sounds it makes (a ‘moo’? How on Earth is that not funny?), or the relentless flatulence that you might observe when overlooking a herd of these slowly-moving giants. Thus, we can make an equation stating that a ‘cow’ equals ‘funny,’ and these hilarious jokes perfectly prove this case. In fact, you’ll be convinced of it right after reading the very first of these corny jokes, and after you are done with the whole entirety of a hundred and twenty-six cow jokes, you might feel the need to lie down to digest the amusement that you’ve just read.

But let the cool animal jokes do the convincing here themselves. As you definitely know by now, our picks of the best jokes talking about bovines are just a cow’s eyelash below. And although it might take some time to ruminate on these awesome jokes, do not forget to vote for the best ones nevertheless. Of course, share this article with anyone who has an interest in cows or jokes. Basically, everyone!

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#1

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What do you call a cow jumping on a trampoline?

A milkshake.

19points

#2

Where would you find a cow with no legs?

Right where you left it.

16points

Office Guy 2 years ago

Obviously, lmao

1point

#3

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No, silly, cows go moo!

14points

#4

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow?

An animal that’s totally in a baaaaaad moooood.

14points

#5

What do you call a sad cow?

Moo-dy.

13points

#6

How do you make a cow be quiet?

Press the moo-te button.

13points

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#7

Why did the cow jump over the moon?

To get to the Milky Way.

13points

#8

What do you call a rude cow?

Beef jerky.

13points

Madison Dale (Madi) 1 year ago

Can someone explain?

0points

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#9

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What would you call a cow wearing armor?

Sir Loin.

13points

#10

Why don’t cows have money?

Because the farmers keep draining them dry.

13points

#11

Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes?

He kept butchering every one.

13points

#12

Why was the cow so afraid of messing up?

Because the steaks were high.

13points

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#13

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes How do you count cows?

With a cowculator!

12points

#14

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side!

12points

#15

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cow.

Cow who?

Cow-a-bunga, dude!

12points

#16

What would feed a bratty cow?

Spoiled milk.

12points

#17

How would you address the queen of cows?

Your Moojesty.

12points

#18

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes Where do cows go on their days off?

To a moo-seum.

12points

Joseph Stewart 2 years ago

bigger, actually

0points

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#19

What is a cow’s favorite movie series?

Steer Wars.

12points

furry also furry 5 months ago

what about moo-vel?

0points

#20

What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing?

His shadow.

12points

Phyllis Godsoe 2 years ago

HER shadow.

2points

#21

What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail?

How diary!

10points

#22

Why did the cow look so confused?

He was having deja moo.

10points

#23

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What do you call a cow with only two legs?

Lean Beef.

10points

#24

Two cows are grazing in the field. One cow says to the other, "Hey Dorris, you worried about this Mad-Cow Disease epidemic?" The other cow turns and says, "Why would I be? I'm a chicken."

10points

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#25

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

10points

#26

How did the cow get to the moon?

It went to udder space.

9points

#27

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What has the lone cow been up to lately?

Nobody’s herd.

9points

#28

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cow.

Cow who?

Cow much longer will you put up with all this knocking?

9points

#29

How does a cow become invisible?

Through camooflage.

reddit.com Report

9points

#30

Where do cows go on holiday?

Mooo Zealand.

davidpanik Report

9points

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#31

What happens when you try talking to a cow?

Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.

8points

#32

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What do cows read in the morning?

The moos-paper!

8points

#33

How do you know which cow is the best dancer?

See which one has the best moo-ves.

8points

#34

What kind of shows do cows like best?

Moosicals.

8points

#35

What happens when a cow laughs?

Milk comes out of its nose.

8points

#36

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes How do dairy farmers do their taxes?

They go to an accountant.

8points

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#37

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interrupting cow wh-?

MOO!

8points

#38

Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day?

At McDonalds.

8points

#39

What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?

The Daily Moos.

8points

#40

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What do you call a momma cow who’s just given birth?

Decalfinated.

8points

#41

What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

8points

#42

Where did the cow spend all its money?

At the cow-sino.

8points

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#43

Why did the cow jump over the moon?

He thought the mooooon was calling to him.

8points

#44

What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings?

Cow-moo-flauged.

8points

#45

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What is a cow’s favorite magazine?

Moogue.

8points

#46

When one cow said “Mooo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply?

“I was going to say that!”.

8points

#47

What did the cow say to its therapist?

“I feel seen, but not herd.”

8points

#48

Where do cow farts come from?

Their dairy-ère.

8points

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#49

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes Who’s in charge of the dairy operations?

The cow-ptain.

8points

#50

What did the cow say when the bull broke up with her?

"Without you, I’ll never be whole milk again!"

8points

#51

What animal goes “oom, oom”?

A cow walking backwards.

8points

furry also furry 5 months ago

I was walking in a farm when I heard this: oooo oooo oooo. it was a cow with no lips!

0points

#52

What do cows say when they hear a bad joke?

I am not amoosed.

8points

#53

Why do cows want to see Times Square?

Because it’s in Moo York City.

8points

#54

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What do you call a cruel cow?

A de-moooon.

8points

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#55

What do you call a cow on a diet?

Lean beef.

8points

#56

Where do Russian cows come from?

Mos-cow.

8points

#57

Where do cows get their medicine?

At the farm-acy.

8points

#58

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What happens when a cow has PMS?

It gets moo-dy.

8points

#59

What math problems do cows like to solve?

Moo-tiplication problems.

8points

#60

What do you call a cow that eats grass?

A lawn-mooer.

8points

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#61

How do you make Swiss cheese?

Using milk from a holey cow.

8points

#62

What did the cow shout when it did a cannonball into the swimming pool?

“Cow-abunga!”

8points

#63

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What do cows say when they apologize to one another?

"Sorry, I made a mis-steak."

8points

#64

When is milk the freshest?

When it’s still in the cow!

8points

#65

What did the cow say when someone told her a lie?

Sounds like a lot of bull to me.

8points

#66

What type of camera do cows use?

Cow-non.

8points

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#67

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes When you cross a smurf with a cow, what do you get?

Blue cheese.

8points

#68

When you cross two ducks and a cow, what do you get?

Quackers and milk.

8points

#69

What did Donald Trump tell the cow?

"That’s fake moos!"

8points

#70

Why did the cow win the Nobel Prize?

She was outstanding in her field!

shadowtrick Report

8points

#71

What do you call a cow after an abortion?

Decalfeinated.

carrotwax Report

8points

#72

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What's a cow's favorite James Bond movie?

Mooo To A Kill.

davidpanik Report

8points

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#73

Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?

It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

8points

#74

The secret service surrounded the president with dozens of cows—they were trying to beef up security.

8points

#75

What’s a cow’s favourite holiday?

Moo Year’s Eve!

8points

#76

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What’s a cow’s favourite moosical note?

Beef-flat!

8points

Keeva Laurent 1 year ago

wouldnt that be there least?

0points

#77

What do you call a cow that can’t make milk?

A milk dud.

7points

#78

What does the cow band play?

Moo-sic!

7points

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#79

What is a cow’s favorite color?

Marooooooon.

7points

#80

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What did the cows do after someone broke into the barn?

They beefed up their security.

7points

#81

What did the cow say about the farmer’s bad outfit?

"That outfit is so bad it’s laugha-bull."

7points

#82

Why do cows like to go to the spa?

To get some re-hoove-ination.

7points

#83

What did the farmer say to lazy the cow?

"Just give me 2% milk."

7points

#84

Why do cows like to dancing?

Because they like to mooove it mooove it!

littlejohnsnow Report

7points

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#85

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes Why are cows always broke?

Someone’s always milking them dry.

7points

#86

What subjects are a cow's favorite?

Moosic, psycowlogy and cowculus.

7points

#87

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

"It’s pasture bedtime!"

6points

#88

Where do cows eat lunch?

In the calfeteria.

6points

#89

What did one dairy cow say to the other?

"Got milk?"

6points

#90

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes How did the farmer find the missing cow?

He tractor down.

6points

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#91

What does the farmer talk about while milking a cow?

Udder nonsense.

6points

#92

Where do cows get all their medicine?

The farmacy!

6points

#93

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

6points

#94

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What do you get if you cross a cow and rooster?

Roost beef.

6points

#95

What did the cow tell the butcher?

"Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef."

6points

#96

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Their horns don’t work.

6points

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#97

What would you get if you milked a really forgetful cow?

Milk of Amnesia.

6points

#98

Why won’t cows join the police force?

They refuse to participate in steak-outs.

6points

#99

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What do you call a scared cow?

A cow-ard.

6points

#100

How do cows introduce their wives?

"Hey guys! Meat Patty."

6points

#101

Where do cows usually go on a Saturday night?

To the moovies!

6points

#102

What do you call a magic cow?

Moo-dini.

6points

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#103

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What do cows put on french toast?

Mooooolasses.

6points

#104

How does lady gaga usually like her steak?

Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!

6points

#105

Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?

He wanted chocolate milk!

6points

#106

What would happen if you tried talking to a cow?

Everything would just go in one ear and out the udder.

6points

#107

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes Why did the artist love painting cows?

He said they were his moos.

6points

#108

Can you make money owning cows?

"Yes, I’ve herd it’s really profitable."

6points

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#109

What did the cow say before making a risky poker bet?

The steaks have never been higher.

6points

#110

What song do cows love to sing?

"I’ve got the mooooves like Jagger."

6points

#111

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes Where do young cows eat lunch?

At the calf-eteria.

6points

#112

What did the police cow say to the bad guy he caught?

Don’t mooooooove a moo-scle.

6points

#113

Why is it so hard to hurt a cow’s feelings?

Their hides are so thick.

6points

#114

Why do cows work?

To make mooooney.

6points

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#115

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What happens when cows stop shaving?

They grow moostaches.

6points

#116

Did you hear about the cow that tried to jump over the barb wire fence?

It was an udder disaster.

tdubya84 Report

6points

#117

What do you call a cow who plays an instrument?

A moosician.

reddit.com Report

6points

#118

Deja Moo: the feeling that you've heard this bull before.

reddit.com Report

6points

#119

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What do cows eat for breakfast?

Mooosli.

davidpanik Report

6points

#120

What do you call a grass-fed cow?

A lawn moo-er!

6points

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#121

What’s it called when a cow spies on another cow?

A steak out.

6points

#122

Why did the two cows not like each other?

They had beef.

5points

#123

123 Udderly A-moo-sing Cow Jokes What kind of lunch meat do cows like best?

A bull-ogna.

5points

Aivaras Kaziukonis

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

What do you think ?

Spriots 2 years ago

I am Una-moo-sed

2points

Elaine Elder 2 years ago

Today we took a break from fencing for lunch. My husband left his truck in pasture. We returned to find all 20 cows and calves literally licking his truck. So now, it's cow-licked.

0points

Spriots 2 years ago

I am Una-moo-sed

2points

Elaine Elder 2 years ago

Today we took a break from fencing for lunch. My husband left his truck in pasture. We returned to find all 20 cows and calves literally licking his truck. So now, it's cow-licked.

0points

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