It might just be me, but the way OP's post is written seems really unsettling

"She is an unfit parent" gave me shivers.

Well, that was terrifying.

OP never stopped being a sociopath. That's not how that works. You are one or you aren't. What he did was learn to mask it well. In this case, so well he let himself forget what he was. But he literally lied and withheld information from his wife. And now that the mask is failing, he's showing who he's always been. In his mad dash to try to fix his situation, he's likely to spiral into worse behavior if he doesn't figure out how to get control over himself. She needs to get out fast. Being a sociopathic isn't necessarily a bad thing. Or more accurately doesn't guarantee you to be a bad person. But you need to learn to be open about who and what you are so that you properly address your issues and motives in real time with those you know and love.

So much manipulation in this writing, I can't finish it. Reminds me of the abusive ex I escaped and my former-mother, who he very much mirrors.

Frustration is usually the root of violence like that in 4's. Parents need to figure out what is frustrating the kid/causing the anger and finding a better way for him to address it. Hurting smaller/more vulnerable kids and things is often mimicking how they feel they are treated by bigger, more powerful people. He 4, he can talk. Or, if he can't, that's the frustrating factor. If he is a sociopath, that's going to make dealing with these things harder, but not impossible. But one spouse trying to control the marriage and the other blaming her spouse for his genes and then demanding gifts for attention, the kid has no healthy role models for dealing with injury. 4 is still early in leaning empathy, focus on the kid, split up and try to be better people and parents for him.

F**k me. Your wife would be wise to run like hell, change her name, have plastic surgery if necessary and just hide. And I'm not joking. You make Chucky seem well adjusted.

Kinda think OP should have told the wife about the criminal charges before getting married. That, plus the screaming at your wife- yes. You're the asss- hole.

So, both horrible nature and horrible nurture from both sides of his family and he just decides to make another human with (partially) that DNA and upbringing. Way to go, dad! Really feeling the love here. I hope she leaves and finds a good psychiatrist to help her and her kid navigate this. Although if it's nature, the kid's never going to be ok. Then the best you can hope for is a Dexter without the killing.

The poll question here messed by not including the option "She needs to run, get police protection, and check the child into a good counseling children's clinic before it's too late."

He withheld very pertinent information, claims his wife is now unfit to care for their son with no basis, and words things like he needs advice to "resume control of my marriage." He would like to think the issues are in his past, but they're still there. He's paranoid and delusional and needs professional treatment.

This is pretty chilling... there's no recognition that he's decieved her about his serious family history of mental illness and his criminal history, and that she is absolutely right to feel deceived and betrayed. No recognition that his son potentially has major psychiatric problems requiring urgent intervention. No recognition of the fact that he shows strong and worrying evidence of sociopathy himself. It's all "how can I make her like me again, should I buy her stuff? How do I tell if she's going to try to leave, so I can kidnap our kid first?" Poor woman. She must be going through hell.

From what you said, there is good reason to consider if your child's behaviour is partially due to genetics. All is not necessarily lost. But stop trying to "win" and control, that will just confirm and display all those traits you both abhor. Normal non-psychopathic behaviour at this point is acknowledging that you mucked up big time and being willing to do whatever to atone, actually help out in this mess and reassure her. This is a geneticist who found out that he has the brain of a murderer - https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/life-as-a-nonviolent-psychopath/282271/

His sudden change to wanting to control the marriage and get ahead of anything she might do and blaming her for being a bad parent, seems to me like he's not really changed, he just felt capable of managing his life the way he wanted it until now, so he was able to repress the behaviors for a while, and the sociopathic tendencies are coming back out now that he's under stress and things aren't going his way.

Holysh!holysh!holysh!t I usually enjoy doing a deep dive on reddit for posts here that are interesting but I feel like I just went through the car wash naked, sans car. That dude is scary.

This gene pool needed a lifeguard and he is one step towards being Ted Bundy.

These are exactly how the family murders play out. Child is killed so wife can't take him, Wife is killed because she's not 'normal.' His words, behaviour, attitude Scream life threatening danger to her. There's no chance she would have had children with Such a huge family history of extreme mental illness without seeking medical advice at the very least. All of his behaviour, including assumed identity are scary. Of course she's plotting to get out. But I hope she does not plot too long, this is get out before extreme danger and threat to life occur. He sounds like a pressure cooker ready to explode. Womens refuges would be a good idea to talk to as they're experts in the highly dangerous, even if, or Especially if she has family she can go to. Thet need expert advice to protect her. That poor poor woman 😔

I've never rolled my eyes so hard at a BP story. This is nuts. This guy is nuts. I feel sorry for the wife and the boy. I hope they get out safely.

Is this even real??

I understand where he's coming from. It's hard to discuss, people judge to quickly. To be honest if you look at every single person on earth's family mental history. They all have some. No family is perfect. He didn't say anything because lol how she's acting. It doesn't make him any different. Does it??? No.

I am seriously scared for the wife of this man. It sounds like he could justify harming her if she tries to leave.

This was terrifying to read...he doesn't see the big issue of his 'lie by omission' and wants to know how to tell when his wife is about to jilt so that he can pre-empt her and use the son as leverage?! This must feel like being in a horror/psychological movie. I hope to God she makes it out alive.

If I guy had told me ANY of that, I would have never married him, let alone had his child. And I would try to get out of that situation as quickly as possible

Either the husband or the son is gonna end up killing her. Sociopaths can't be fixed. Run girl.

I wonder if his wife is still alive.

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Let your wife leave. She doesn't want to take responsibility for your child, and she's looking for anyone to blame instead of how to move forward. She's not concerned about your child, she's not concerned about her spouse, she's displaying sociopathic tendencies and cutting her losses when people are no longer useful to her. It doesn't matter where this comes from, time to focus on your kid. Even if he is a sociopath (and you can't diagnose that until early twenties) he can have a normal life, he's not destined to be a serial kill3r. Most sociopaths are successful and often well liked. Surgeons, pilots, high ranking military, tech bros etc. Definitely consult behaviour specialists but don't panic. Get a few opinion, talk to your kid and see what helps.