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Man Screams At Wife After She Realizes His Secret Led To Their Kid’s Sociopathic Actions
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Man Screams At Wife After She Realizes His Secret Led To Their Kid’s Sociopathic Actions

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Secrets have a tendency to get out, creating a distance between people that even time can’t rectify.

When father and Reddit user Kramuz and his wife learned that their son was exhibiting antisocial behavior, the couple were deeply disturbed. Especially the mother.

However, as the man explained in his post on r/AITAH, he wasn’t very surprised — his family has a long history of mental illness and he himself has a troubled past.

Kramuz had kept both of these facts from his partner, but after their child started having problems at school, he chose to disclose them to her.

But even though the woman got more context on what was happening, she still felt betrayed by the years of secrecy.

This man confessed to the internet that he had kept his family’s mental illness history a secret from his wife

Image credits: msvyatkovska/Envato (not the actual photo)

But he didn’t see anything wrong with it, even though their child was kicked out of kindergarten for antisocial behavior

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Image credits:  Lara-sh/Envato (not the actual photo)

As his story gained popularity, the man made a new post, providing more context on his situation

Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: voronaman111/Envato (not the actual photo)

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And finally, he released a second update, claiming he was scared of his wife leaving him

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Image credits: kramuz

It’s hard to imagine a couple being able to tackle such problems efficiently when there’s been a huge breach of trust

The terms ‘psychopath’ and ‘sociopath’ are often used interchangeably in common speech to describe a person who is pathologically prone to criminal or violent behavior and lacks any regard for the feelings or interests of others as well as any feelings of remorse or guilt for their crimes.

But sociopaths are normally less emotionally stable and highly impulsive – their behavior tends to be more erratic than that of psychopaths. When committing crimes – either violent or non-violent – sociopaths act more impulsively and lack detailed planning.

However, it’s worth pointing out that neither sociopathy nor psychopathy represents an official diagnosis. They both fall under the larger umbrella of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD).

Image credits: habrovich/Envato (not the actual photo)

Sociopathic traits in children include:

  • lack of remorse;
  • impulsivity;
  • manipulating others;
  • violence or aggression;
  • frequent lying;
  • cruelty toward animals;
  • stealing.

A 2018 study did find multiple genes associated with a risk of lower cognitive abilities, academic difficulties, truancy, lower self-control, and criminal offending. But we cannot know what caused the Redditor’s son to act like he has.  “More research is necessary to fully understand what influences the development of sociopathic traits in children,” said Brooke Schwartz, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in private practice in Los Angeles, CA.

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“However, it is believed that these behaviors are caused by a number of interactive factors including a child’s environment, genetics, and brain development.”

Whatever the answer might be, the fact that Kramuz breached his wife’s trust makes it much more difficult for the couple to deal with it.

Virtually everyone who read his story wished the woman would actually do it

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And people really felt for his son

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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Endcensorship
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It might just be me, but the way OP's post is written seems really unsettling

kissmychakram
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not just you. I got chills round about when he wondered how to "resume control" of his marriage.

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arthbach
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From what was written, it is clear he thinks he is normal, and does not recognise al the the signs of sociopathy. His updates are all about control. He mentions how he was 'being honest', and wonders why he isn't getting brownie points for that. Being honest is the base level - you get no brownie points for being honest. he is accepting no responsibility for his lies, and fails to understand lies of omission are just as much lies as saying you went to an Ivy League university when you didn't. And, yes, sociopathy can be inherited.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It read just as exactly as a sociopath would think. I kept hearing "flag!" in my head as a kept reading.

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Jenny Mason
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He gives no examples of that though, just his claim that he can't allow her to leave with the boy.

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Rachel Hendricks
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is a serious threat. He's all about power and control, major red flags throughout his posts...I'm feeling nauseous and hoping this isn't real. If this is a real story, the dude needs major help, his wife needs to leave, and their child needs serious professional help, as do the parents, but intervention in early childhood, 4 is still quite young, the better outcome for the child.

Rachel Hendricks
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The anthills and killing insects is not normal behavior. When my oldest son was about the same age, he accidentally killed a bug and cried over it.

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MR
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP never stopped being a sociopath. That's not how that works. You are one or you aren't. What he did was learn to mask it well. In this case, so well he let himself forget what he was. But he literally lied and withheld information from his wife. And now that the mask is failing, he's showing who he's always been. In his mad dash to try to fix his situation, he's likely to spiral into worse behavior if he doesn't figure out how to get control over himself. She needs to get out fast. Being a sociopathic isn't necessarily a bad thing. Or more accurately doesn't guarantee you to be a bad person. But you need to learn to be open about who and what you are so that you properly address your issues and motives in real time with those you know and love.

Lyoness
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did a quick search & apparently sociopathy can be treated with a combination of therapy and/or d***s but it has to be consistent and ongoing or the sociopath just goes back to their old behaviour. It sounds as though that spiral is happening and I absolutely agree she needs to leave. One article on it because I'm that person: https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/sociopath/sociopath-treatment-can-a-sociopath-change

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Pollywog
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kid needs serious help. It's chilling how much he has in common with a very young Ted Bundy. The dad doesn't even realize he never stopped living a fraudulent life. It's all water under the bridge for him. For her... She just found out she's married to a complete stranger and because of his deception her child hasn't gotten the help he so desperately needs. I pray she's able to get herself and her son away from him safely.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Calm down, read up on childhood development. At 4, killing ants isn't uncommon, biting isn't unheard of, they are problems but rarely due to a condition that would indicate serial k1ller. It's not until 8 or 9 that empathy is consistently developed and even then it's mostly conditioning, so the harming animals thing is for older kids and usually they don't count insects in the same way.l as mammals or even reptiles. You can even diagnose anyone with sociopathy until they clear their teens because teens score too high on the tests and it's lots of false positives. Help the kid with the very common problems he has, don't saddle him with cannibalism just yet. Much more damaging now are parents with no emotional maturity fighting.

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Alexandra
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is reverting to his original state, so to say. He worked hard to get his sociopathic traits under control and, if all else would have been fine, he could have had a very good marriage for years. However, I have the feeling that genetics is catching up with him and he just can't sustain his learned behaviour anymore and is reverting to his original state, so to speak. Generational trauma? Perhaps. On the other hand, some mental illnesses are hereditary and that is why there are people who have decided not to have children in order not to perpetuate that cycle. Reading this, his wife needs to get out ASAP because OP is losing control and will do anything to regain it. It it not unknown for psychopaths/sociopaths to kill in order to regain that control.

Annabelle
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So much manipulation in this writing, I can't finish it. Reminds me of the abusive ex I escaped and my former-mother, who he very much mirrors.

RAM31280
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is mentally unstable and was hiding it for years. His wife found out about his past, which clearly he hid from her, although he denies hiding these horrific details from his and his family's past, and his sociopathic tendencies have resurfaced and he is a downward spiral. 1 million percent YTA.

Ken Schroeder
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The poll question here messed by not including the option "She needs to run, get police protection, and check the child into a good counseling children's clinic before it's too late."

Pibs Seventy
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a case study in sociopathic behavior. This mask is off and he's just being his actual sociopathic self for the first time in years as the newest persona doesn't work anymore and his wife is in DANGER.

LaserBrain
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kinda think OP should have told the wife about the criminal charges before getting married. That, plus the screaming at your wife- yes. You're the asss- hole.

Id row
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh, imagine getting stuck with a sociopath for a child because your partner was too selfish to bring up their family medical history? What a nightmare that would be.

moggie63
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**k me. Your wife would be wise to run like hell, change her name, have plastic surgery if necessary and just hide. And I'm not joking. You make Chucky seem well adjusted.

Laura Gillette
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holy c**p I hope she succeeded in escaping and got her son away from him and into therapy...

Secret Squirrel
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Frustration is usually the root of violence like that in 4's. Parents need to figure out what is frustrating the kid/causing the anger and finding a better way for him to address it. Hurting smaller/more vulnerable kids and things is often mimicking how they feel they are treated by bigger, more powerful people. He 4, he can talk. Or, if he can't, that's the frustrating factor. If he is a sociopath, that's going to make dealing with these things harder, but not impossible. But one spouse trying to control the marriage and the other blaming her spouse for his genes and then demanding gifts for attention, the kid has no healthy role models for dealing with injury. 4 is still early in leaning empathy, focus on the kid, split up and try to be better people and parents for him.

Jackie Lulu
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think she was demanding gifts, I think he was trying to come up with a gift to get his wife to calm down. He asked for ideas from readers!

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Nina
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so disturbing. He intentionally didn't tell her anything - that's a sociopathic trait right there. This guy should never have procreated; they all sound like monsters. Hope the woman runs for the hills and takes the kid. Kid needs a butt load of therapy to get some semblance of normality. God the guy sounds like he's getting ready to imprison his wife the way he talks. Fyi, sociopathic natures are a difference in brain chemistry - there's no 'ive changed' moments, only managing behaviours. This guy is the worst for keeping her in the dark and creating a new little monster without her knowing.

Cassie
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He withheld very pertinent information, claims his wife is now unfit to care for their son with no basis, and words things like he needs advice to "resume control of my marriage." He would like to think the issues are in his past, but they're still there. He's paranoid and delusional and needs professional treatment.

Lost Penny
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she doesn't leave him, there will be some news article about 'local woman missing' & how 'loving husband is terrified & inconsolable, has been a part of the search party from the very beginning, refuses to believe the worst, hopes she comes home.'

SkippityBoppityBoo
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg... The part where he asks for help from others whose wives have fled similarly? Or what patterns to look for?... Please everyone NEVER answer that question. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that he's going to look for them, "hunt them down" and try and stop her... She needs to go and go now. I really hope that she has with her son. I also hope noone actually helped him with how to gain access, find them if they have left... The son needs protection and professional help. I really hope that the son gets the helps he deserves and needs...

TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From what you said, there is good reason to consider if your child's behaviour is partially due to genetics. All is not necessarily lost. But stop trying to "win" and control, that will just confirm and display all those traits you both abhor. Normal non-psychopathic behaviour at this point is acknowledging that you mucked up big time and being willing to do whatever to atone, actually help out in this mess and reassure her. This is a geneticist who found out that he has the brain of a murderer - https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/life-as-a-nonviolent-psychopath/282271/

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The genes are set now though, it doesn't matter where they come from, the important thing is how to help the kid, knowing he may be prone to sociopathy. It absolutely doesn't matter where a condition comes from, once the kid has it. There's no cure, just treatment. So get on with it.

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Dragon mama
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holysh!holysh!holysh!t I usually enjoy doing a deep dive on reddit for posts here that are interesting but I feel like I just went through the car wash naked, sans car. That dude is scary.

Deborah B
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is pretty chilling... there's no recognition that he's decieved her about his serious family history of mental illness and his criminal history, and that she is absolutely right to feel deceived and betrayed. No recognition that his son potentially has major psychiatric problems requiring urgent intervention. No recognition of the fact that he shows strong and worrying evidence of sociopathy himself. It's all "how can I make her like me again, should I buy her stuff? How do I tell if she's going to try to leave, so I can kidnap our kid first?" Poor woman. She must be going through hell.

T'Mar of Vulcan
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children who kill and torture animals grow up to be serial killers. This father is just asking for his child to end up spending his life behind bars or executed for multiple murders. What a loon.

Aline
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Genetics is only one factor, but sociopathy is just another neurodivergence, one that can't be diagnosed until late teens at the earliest. The biting and violent behaviour, isn't "normal" but it isn't uncommon. That's one of the most common issues for kids at that age. Empathy is taught, and you may have to spend more time on that if he's not picking it up. Surgeons and CEO's often score high on sociopathy scales, so it's not like his chances in life are limited if this is the issue. More likely OP and his wife's awful behaviour are reinforcing any bad tendencies the kid has. She's looking for a scapegoat and blaming, he's trying to control everything. Even with great genetics, how can dysfunctional people expect to raise a healthy kid?

Leigh Kinnaird
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ASPD is a psychiatric disorder. Neurodivergence is not. This woman was manipulated and conned into marrying a person with a likely heritable condition, her choice to procreate with such a person was taken away from her. He is entirely to blame here for doing this and bringing a child with such potential psychiatric illness into the world. I doubt she'd have procreated with him had she known the truth. There is nothing awful about her getting her child away from this individual, who is still trying to control and manipulate them both.

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Gwyn
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His sudden change to wanting to control the marriage and get ahead of anything she might do and blaming her for being a bad parent, seems to me like he's not really changed, he just felt capable of managing his life the way he wanted it until now, so he was able to repress the behaviors for a while, and the sociopathic tendencies are coming back out now that he's under stress and things aren't going his way.

Private Caller
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is some serious ish to unpack. The kid grabbed a knife and threatened to harm the mom? If she's planning to leave he wants to beat her to it?? All of a sudden she's unfit? I fear for her. Omg

Ally Joy
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This gene pool needed a lifeguard and he is one step towards being Ted Bundy.

Zull&Panda
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wtf did I just read?!?!?! If this is true...oh God I can feel the tension in the question is posing. - How do I spot the signs? How can I get back to be a happy family? - and what was that weird list of things she wants to do????? If this is real, oh boy, that's a look into a sociopath head and it's showing us how it really shows how twisted the line of thoughts is. He never asked things about how to EMOTIONALLY connect with is wife. He asked only about how to control her behaviour and what patter (of behaviour) he should apply to go back to his weird idea of an happy family. Your son is menacing your wife with a knife, are you blind???? And the fact that he wrote twice that she's not a well fitted parent without ever explaining why. F*****g control freak. This was seriously disturbing.

Carol Borg
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg this guy is sick. Imagine being pissed off at his wife for feeling betrayed for both her and her son. What an extreme sence of entitlement. You never wanted to deal with the issue you just wanted the euphoria blurting out the truth gave you. What a complete loser you are. And then to accuse her of being unfit to raise your child and talk about controlling the situation? Man if I were her I'd run from you so fast. And by the way, she wouldn't be abducting HER child. There isn't a court anywhere that wouldn't see her as having justification for leaving you with him. All she'd have to do is show them this post. You're sick and you need help.

Laura Bradshaw
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last comment from him saying do we think she's trying to leave because if she is he wants to leave first and take the child becuase SHES a unfit parent... wtf I hope God she gets there first

Ruth Watry
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either a fake post, or OP is sociopath (probably other mental health conditions as well) who cannot acknowledge that his family's mental health history is the cause of this.

Lyone Fein
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am seriously scared for the wife of this man. It sounds like he could justify harming her if she tries to leave.

SillyPandaBunny
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, if this is real, he is also a psychopath and while he might have stopped doing the things he did in the past, he clearly is still a psychopath and grasps at straws trying to sound like he somehow got better but he’s still doing the same behavior of living as someone else. He should check himself into a psych ward ASAP and the wife. Should get mental help for the child.

weatherwitch
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These are exactly how the family murders play out. Child is killed so wife can't take him, Wife is killed because she's not 'normal.' His words, behaviour, attitude Scream life threatening danger to her. There's no chance she would have had children with Such a huge family history of extreme mental illness without seeking medical advice at the very least. All of his behaviour, including assumed identity are scary. Of course she's plotting to get out. But I hope she does not plot too long, this is get out before extreme danger and threat to life occur. He sounds like a pressure cooker ready to explode. Womens refuges would be a good idea to talk to as they're experts in the highly dangerous, even if, or Especially if she has family she can go to. Thet need expert advice to protect her. That poor poor woman 😔

Bex
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I soon as I read that you didn't tell your WIFE about your CRIMINAL PAST! Not only are you the biggest a*****e, but you're also manipulative, abusive, and a con man.

Yu Pan
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never rolled my eyes so hard at a BP story. This is nuts. This guy is nuts. I feel sorry for the wife and the boy. I hope they get out safely.

Jenny Mason
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wants control of their son regardless of what is best for him. The way he claims that he can't allow her to leave with the kid is extremely concerning.

Lynn Parker
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was a scary read as the updates went on. How long ago was this posted? Has anyone seen or heard from this woman?

Lynn Parker
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, those updates. How long ago was this posted? Has anyone seen or heard from this woman to know that she's okay?

Rebecca Joan
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her, how can I manipulate my wife into thinking everything is great again cuz she can’t parent our son effectively…

Vykx
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was terrifying to read...he doesn't see the big issue of his 'lie by omission' and wants to know how to tell when his wife is about to jilt so that he can pre-empt her and use the son as leverage?! This must feel like being in a horror/psychological movie. I hope to God she makes it out alive.

Joanne Mendonza-Earle
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He accuses HER of being an unfit parent and her taking their kid 'cannot happen'. I have a feeling we're gonna see this story on an episode of 'Dateline' one of these days.....

Holly's House
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I guy had told me ANY of that, I would have never married him, let alone had his child. And I would try to get out of that situation as quickly as possible

Roberta Surprenant
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does she realize that some sociopaths come from entirely "normal" families? At same time, his writing style does lead to questions.

kittylexy
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either the husband or the son is gonna end up killing her. Sociopaths can't be fixed. Run girl.

RenegadeTrader
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus Christ, sounds like he's planning on something sinister to continue control.

Pandamonium Pandas Pandie
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know what y'all r yappin about, he clearly just didn't want to have to make his wife think that he was untrustworthy, and he didn't want to tell her just in case she starts to doubt him but if she can't accept something that was not OP's fault, then that woman needs to see where he is coming from. also JayWantsACat, I agree with you on that one to, he still has a bit of work to do on the sociopath thing.

Christina Maclennan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand where he's coming from. It's hard to discuss, people judge to quickly. To be honest if you look at every single person on earth's family mental history. They all have some. No family is perfect. He didn't say anything because lol how she's acting. It doesn't make him any different. Does it??? No.

Nicky
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

CRISPR might be used to edit the five genes associated with ASP. Have the child and dad tested. This is genetic and needs a gene editing solution.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Let your wife leave. She doesn't want to take responsibility for your child, and she's looking for anyone to blame instead of how to move forward. She's not concerned about your child, she's not concerned about her spouse, she's displaying sociopathic tendencies and cutting her losses when people are no longer useful to her. It doesn't matter where this comes from, time to focus on your kid. Even if he is a sociopath (and you can't diagnose that until early twenties) he can have a normal life, he's not destined to be a serial kill3r. Most sociopaths are successful and often well liked. Surgeons, pilots, high ranking military, tech bros etc. Definitely consult behaviour specialists but don't panic. Get a few opinion, talk to your kid and see what helps.

Tamra
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not sure we read the same post. It reads as though the mother is very much concerned about her son, and also is dealing with the fact that her *husband* has been deceitful their entire relationship.

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Endcensorship
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It might just be me, but the way OP's post is written seems really unsettling

kissmychakram
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not just you. I got chills round about when he wondered how to "resume control" of his marriage.

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arthbach
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From what was written, it is clear he thinks he is normal, and does not recognise al the the signs of sociopathy. His updates are all about control. He mentions how he was 'being honest', and wonders why he isn't getting brownie points for that. Being honest is the base level - you get no brownie points for being honest. he is accepting no responsibility for his lies, and fails to understand lies of omission are just as much lies as saying you went to an Ivy League university when you didn't. And, yes, sociopathy can be inherited.

Scott Rackley
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It read just as exactly as a sociopath would think. I kept hearing "flag!" in my head as a kept reading.

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Jenny Mason
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He gives no examples of that though, just his claim that he can't allow her to leave with the boy.

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Rachel Hendricks
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is a serious threat. He's all about power and control, major red flags throughout his posts...I'm feeling nauseous and hoping this isn't real. If this is a real story, the dude needs major help, his wife needs to leave, and their child needs serious professional help, as do the parents, but intervention in early childhood, 4 is still quite young, the better outcome for the child.

Rachel Hendricks
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The anthills and killing insects is not normal behavior. When my oldest son was about the same age, he accidentally killed a bug and cried over it.

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MR
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OP never stopped being a sociopath. That's not how that works. You are one or you aren't. What he did was learn to mask it well. In this case, so well he let himself forget what he was. But he literally lied and withheld information from his wife. And now that the mask is failing, he's showing who he's always been. In his mad dash to try to fix his situation, he's likely to spiral into worse behavior if he doesn't figure out how to get control over himself. She needs to get out fast. Being a sociopathic isn't necessarily a bad thing. Or more accurately doesn't guarantee you to be a bad person. But you need to learn to be open about who and what you are so that you properly address your issues and motives in real time with those you know and love.

Lyoness
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did a quick search & apparently sociopathy can be treated with a combination of therapy and/or d***s but it has to be consistent and ongoing or the sociopath just goes back to their old behaviour. It sounds as though that spiral is happening and I absolutely agree she needs to leave. One article on it because I'm that person: https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/sociopath/sociopath-treatment-can-a-sociopath-change

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Pollywog
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kid needs serious help. It's chilling how much he has in common with a very young Ted Bundy. The dad doesn't even realize he never stopped living a fraudulent life. It's all water under the bridge for him. For her... She just found out she's married to a complete stranger and because of his deception her child hasn't gotten the help he so desperately needs. I pray she's able to get herself and her son away from him safely.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Calm down, read up on childhood development. At 4, killing ants isn't uncommon, biting isn't unheard of, they are problems but rarely due to a condition that would indicate serial k1ller. It's not until 8 or 9 that empathy is consistently developed and even then it's mostly conditioning, so the harming animals thing is for older kids and usually they don't count insects in the same way.l as mammals or even reptiles. You can even diagnose anyone with sociopathy until they clear their teens because teens score too high on the tests and it's lots of false positives. Help the kid with the very common problems he has, don't saddle him with cannibalism just yet. Much more damaging now are parents with no emotional maturity fighting.

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Alexandra
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is reverting to his original state, so to say. He worked hard to get his sociopathic traits under control and, if all else would have been fine, he could have had a very good marriage for years. However, I have the feeling that genetics is catching up with him and he just can't sustain his learned behaviour anymore and is reverting to his original state, so to speak. Generational trauma? Perhaps. On the other hand, some mental illnesses are hereditary and that is why there are people who have decided not to have children in order not to perpetuate that cycle. Reading this, his wife needs to get out ASAP because OP is losing control and will do anything to regain it. It it not unknown for psychopaths/sociopaths to kill in order to regain that control.

Annabelle
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So much manipulation in this writing, I can't finish it. Reminds me of the abusive ex I escaped and my former-mother, who he very much mirrors.

RAM31280
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This guy is mentally unstable and was hiding it for years. His wife found out about his past, which clearly he hid from her, although he denies hiding these horrific details from his and his family's past, and his sociopathic tendencies have resurfaced and he is a downward spiral. 1 million percent YTA.

Ken Schroeder
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The poll question here messed by not including the option "She needs to run, get police protection, and check the child into a good counseling children's clinic before it's too late."

Pibs Seventy
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a case study in sociopathic behavior. This mask is off and he's just being his actual sociopathic self for the first time in years as the newest persona doesn't work anymore and his wife is in DANGER.

LaserBrain
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kinda think OP should have told the wife about the criminal charges before getting married. That, plus the screaming at your wife- yes. You're the asss- hole.

Id row
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh, imagine getting stuck with a sociopath for a child because your partner was too selfish to bring up their family medical history? What a nightmare that would be.

moggie63
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**k me. Your wife would be wise to run like hell, change her name, have plastic surgery if necessary and just hide. And I'm not joking. You make Chucky seem well adjusted.

Laura Gillette
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holy c**p I hope she succeeded in escaping and got her son away from him and into therapy...

Secret Squirrel
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Frustration is usually the root of violence like that in 4's. Parents need to figure out what is frustrating the kid/causing the anger and finding a better way for him to address it. Hurting smaller/more vulnerable kids and things is often mimicking how they feel they are treated by bigger, more powerful people. He 4, he can talk. Or, if he can't, that's the frustrating factor. If he is a sociopath, that's going to make dealing with these things harder, but not impossible. But one spouse trying to control the marriage and the other blaming her spouse for his genes and then demanding gifts for attention, the kid has no healthy role models for dealing with injury. 4 is still early in leaning empathy, focus on the kid, split up and try to be better people and parents for him.

Jackie Lulu
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think she was demanding gifts, I think he was trying to come up with a gift to get his wife to calm down. He asked for ideas from readers!

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Nina
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so disturbing. He intentionally didn't tell her anything - that's a sociopathic trait right there. This guy should never have procreated; they all sound like monsters. Hope the woman runs for the hills and takes the kid. Kid needs a butt load of therapy to get some semblance of normality. God the guy sounds like he's getting ready to imprison his wife the way he talks. Fyi, sociopathic natures are a difference in brain chemistry - there's no 'ive changed' moments, only managing behaviours. This guy is the worst for keeping her in the dark and creating a new little monster without her knowing.

Cassie
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He withheld very pertinent information, claims his wife is now unfit to care for their son with no basis, and words things like he needs advice to "resume control of my marriage." He would like to think the issues are in his past, but they're still there. He's paranoid and delusional and needs professional treatment.

Lost Penny
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If she doesn't leave him, there will be some news article about 'local woman missing' & how 'loving husband is terrified & inconsolable, has been a part of the search party from the very beginning, refuses to believe the worst, hopes she comes home.'

SkippityBoppityBoo
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg... The part where he asks for help from others whose wives have fled similarly? Or what patterns to look for?... Please everyone NEVER answer that question. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that he's going to look for them, "hunt them down" and try and stop her... She needs to go and go now. I really hope that she has with her son. I also hope noone actually helped him with how to gain access, find them if they have left... The son needs protection and professional help. I really hope that the son gets the helps he deserves and needs...

TribbleThinking
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From what you said, there is good reason to consider if your child's behaviour is partially due to genetics. All is not necessarily lost. But stop trying to "win" and control, that will just confirm and display all those traits you both abhor. Normal non-psychopathic behaviour at this point is acknowledging that you mucked up big time and being willing to do whatever to atone, actually help out in this mess and reassure her. This is a geneticist who found out that he has the brain of a murderer - https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/life-as-a-nonviolent-psychopath/282271/

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The genes are set now though, it doesn't matter where they come from, the important thing is how to help the kid, knowing he may be prone to sociopathy. It absolutely doesn't matter where a condition comes from, once the kid has it. There's no cure, just treatment. So get on with it.

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Dragon mama
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holysh!holysh!holysh!t I usually enjoy doing a deep dive on reddit for posts here that are interesting but I feel like I just went through the car wash naked, sans car. That dude is scary.

Deborah B
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is pretty chilling... there's no recognition that he's decieved her about his serious family history of mental illness and his criminal history, and that she is absolutely right to feel deceived and betrayed. No recognition that his son potentially has major psychiatric problems requiring urgent intervention. No recognition of the fact that he shows strong and worrying evidence of sociopathy himself. It's all "how can I make her like me again, should I buy her stuff? How do I tell if she's going to try to leave, so I can kidnap our kid first?" Poor woman. She must be going through hell.

T'Mar of Vulcan
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children who kill and torture animals grow up to be serial killers. This father is just asking for his child to end up spending his life behind bars or executed for multiple murders. What a loon.

Aline
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Genetics is only one factor, but sociopathy is just another neurodivergence, one that can't be diagnosed until late teens at the earliest. The biting and violent behaviour, isn't "normal" but it isn't uncommon. That's one of the most common issues for kids at that age. Empathy is taught, and you may have to spend more time on that if he's not picking it up. Surgeons and CEO's often score high on sociopathy scales, so it's not like his chances in life are limited if this is the issue. More likely OP and his wife's awful behaviour are reinforcing any bad tendencies the kid has. She's looking for a scapegoat and blaming, he's trying to control everything. Even with great genetics, how can dysfunctional people expect to raise a healthy kid?

Leigh Kinnaird
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ASPD is a psychiatric disorder. Neurodivergence is not. This woman was manipulated and conned into marrying a person with a likely heritable condition, her choice to procreate with such a person was taken away from her. He is entirely to blame here for doing this and bringing a child with such potential psychiatric illness into the world. I doubt she'd have procreated with him had she known the truth. There is nothing awful about her getting her child away from this individual, who is still trying to control and manipulate them both.

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Gwyn
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His sudden change to wanting to control the marriage and get ahead of anything she might do and blaming her for being a bad parent, seems to me like he's not really changed, he just felt capable of managing his life the way he wanted it until now, so he was able to repress the behaviors for a while, and the sociopathic tendencies are coming back out now that he's under stress and things aren't going his way.

Private Caller
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is some serious ish to unpack. The kid grabbed a knife and threatened to harm the mom? If she's planning to leave he wants to beat her to it?? All of a sudden she's unfit? I fear for her. Omg

Ally Joy
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This gene pool needed a lifeguard and he is one step towards being Ted Bundy.

Zull&Panda
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wtf did I just read?!?!?! If this is true...oh God I can feel the tension in the question is posing. - How do I spot the signs? How can I get back to be a happy family? - and what was that weird list of things she wants to do????? If this is real, oh boy, that's a look into a sociopath head and it's showing us how it really shows how twisted the line of thoughts is. He never asked things about how to EMOTIONALLY connect with is wife. He asked only about how to control her behaviour and what patter (of behaviour) he should apply to go back to his weird idea of an happy family. Your son is menacing your wife with a knife, are you blind???? And the fact that he wrote twice that she's not a well fitted parent without ever explaining why. F*****g control freak. This was seriously disturbing.

Carol Borg
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg this guy is sick. Imagine being pissed off at his wife for feeling betrayed for both her and her son. What an extreme sence of entitlement. You never wanted to deal with the issue you just wanted the euphoria blurting out the truth gave you. What a complete loser you are. And then to accuse her of being unfit to raise your child and talk about controlling the situation? Man if I were her I'd run from you so fast. And by the way, she wouldn't be abducting HER child. There isn't a court anywhere that wouldn't see her as having justification for leaving you with him. All she'd have to do is show them this post. You're sick and you need help.

Laura Bradshaw
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The last comment from him saying do we think she's trying to leave because if she is he wants to leave first and take the child becuase SHES a unfit parent... wtf I hope God she gets there first

Ruth Watry
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either a fake post, or OP is sociopath (probably other mental health conditions as well) who cannot acknowledge that his family's mental health history is the cause of this.

Lyone Fein
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am seriously scared for the wife of this man. It sounds like he could justify harming her if she tries to leave.

SillyPandaBunny
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, if this is real, he is also a psychopath and while he might have stopped doing the things he did in the past, he clearly is still a psychopath and grasps at straws trying to sound like he somehow got better but he’s still doing the same behavior of living as someone else. He should check himself into a psych ward ASAP and the wife. Should get mental help for the child.

weatherwitch
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

These are exactly how the family murders play out. Child is killed so wife can't take him, Wife is killed because she's not 'normal.' His words, behaviour, attitude Scream life threatening danger to her. There's no chance she would have had children with Such a huge family history of extreme mental illness without seeking medical advice at the very least. All of his behaviour, including assumed identity are scary. Of course she's plotting to get out. But I hope she does not plot too long, this is get out before extreme danger and threat to life occur. He sounds like a pressure cooker ready to explode. Womens refuges would be a good idea to talk to as they're experts in the highly dangerous, even if, or Especially if she has family she can go to. Thet need expert advice to protect her. That poor poor woman 😔

Bex
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I soon as I read that you didn't tell your WIFE about your CRIMINAL PAST! Not only are you the biggest a*****e, but you're also manipulative, abusive, and a con man.

Yu Pan
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've never rolled my eyes so hard at a BP story. This is nuts. This guy is nuts. I feel sorry for the wife and the boy. I hope they get out safely.

Jenny Mason
Community Member
2 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He wants control of their son regardless of what is best for him. The way he claims that he can't allow her to leave with the kid is extremely concerning.

Lynn Parker
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was a scary read as the updates went on. How long ago was this posted? Has anyone seen or heard from this woman?

Lynn Parker
Community Member
3 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, those updates. How long ago was this posted? Has anyone seen or heard from this woman to know that she's okay?

Rebecca Joan
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her, how can I manipulate my wife into thinking everything is great again cuz she can’t parent our son effectively…

Vykx
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was terrifying to read...he doesn't see the big issue of his 'lie by omission' and wants to know how to tell when his wife is about to jilt so that he can pre-empt her and use the son as leverage?! This must feel like being in a horror/psychological movie. I hope to God she makes it out alive.

Joanne Mendonza-Earle
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He accuses HER of being an unfit parent and her taking their kid 'cannot happen'. I have a feeling we're gonna see this story on an episode of 'Dateline' one of these days.....

Holly's House
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I guy had told me ANY of that, I would have never married him, let alone had his child. And I would try to get out of that situation as quickly as possible

Roberta Surprenant
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does she realize that some sociopaths come from entirely "normal" families? At same time, his writing style does lead to questions.

kittylexy
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Either the husband or the son is gonna end up killing her. Sociopaths can't be fixed. Run girl.

RenegadeTrader
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus Christ, sounds like he's planning on something sinister to continue control.

Pandamonium Pandas Pandie
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know what y'all r yappin about, he clearly just didn't want to have to make his wife think that he was untrustworthy, and he didn't want to tell her just in case she starts to doubt him but if she can't accept something that was not OP's fault, then that woman needs to see where he is coming from. also JayWantsACat, I agree with you on that one to, he still has a bit of work to do on the sociopath thing.

Christina Maclennan
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand where he's coming from. It's hard to discuss, people judge to quickly. To be honest if you look at every single person on earth's family mental history. They all have some. No family is perfect. He didn't say anything because lol how she's acting. It doesn't make him any different. Does it??? No.

Nicky
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

CRISPR might be used to edit the five genes associated with ASP. Have the child and dad tested. This is genetic and needs a gene editing solution.

FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Let your wife leave. She doesn't want to take responsibility for your child, and she's looking for anyone to blame instead of how to move forward. She's not concerned about your child, she's not concerned about her spouse, she's displaying sociopathic tendencies and cutting her losses when people are no longer useful to her. It doesn't matter where this comes from, time to focus on your kid. Even if he is a sociopath (and you can't diagnose that until early twenties) he can have a normal life, he's not destined to be a serial kill3r. Most sociopaths are successful and often well liked. Surgeons, pilots, high ranking military, tech bros etc. Definitely consult behaviour specialists but don't panic. Get a few opinion, talk to your kid and see what helps.

Tamra
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not sure we read the same post. It reads as though the mother is very much concerned about her son, and also is dealing with the fact that her *husband* has been deceitful their entire relationship.

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