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40 Of The Funniest Coronavirus Jokes To Lift Up Your Spirits During Self-Isolation (New Pics)
The number of those infected by the coronavirus has surpassed 339k, but people aren’t giving up hope that we can defeat Covid-19, suppress its spread, and protect millions of lives. One of the weapons in this fight is humor because it makes us laugh and helps us forget our worries and recharges our batteries.
You’re probably working from home or are in self-isolation, dear Pandas. So we here at Bored Panda have collected some of the funniest coronavirus jokes to put smiles on your faces and to help you see the silver lining in this nasty situation. From toilet paper and hand sanitizer to self-isolation and social distancing, nothing is safe from being poked and prodded by internet comedians.
Don’t forget to upvote your faves and check out our previous coronavirus joke posts here, here, and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Gregg V 5 years ago
Stupid - cough on Bezos, Musk and the billionaires that make thousands of jobs to employ millions of people like you even at McDonalds. FYI - the government is considering this terrorism so go make my day, punk - assuming you could. Idiot and illegal - grow up!
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Sergio Serg 5 years ago
Does anyone have a celebrity house map for Miami? I need to get this collateral testing
Josie Lisette 5 years ago
FOLKS!!, We have to take the quarantine calmly, there are people who are going really crazy. I was just commenting it a while ago to the Microwave and to the Toaster while I had my coffee, and the three of us AGREED. When I wash my clothes I don't tell my Washer anything because everything spins everywhere (gossip). And the refrigerator felt distant and cold. And the toilet takes everything as s**t lol
Peter Rowe 5 years ago
Now that made me giggle a bit/very witty, Good on you, waitin on second instalment lol!
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Susie Harrison 5 years ago
OMGosh, so true!!!! Been sick over a week. Tried to dress up as Tom Hank's to get a test but my boobs got in the way and I got nothing.
Monday 5 years ago
We could be dead and not tested here. There is currently no testing available in my town and doctors don't want you to come down to their office if you suspect you have it. One actually posted on Facebook "90% of you will be fine so just stay home, don't come into my office".
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#2
Beans 5 years ago
To be fair, the kid is the one posing the most risk if Jean is just by her self in her front garden with no one around.... like, people can garden, you know.
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Amelia Hernandez 5 years ago
Sad thing is my 5 year old brother doesn't want anyone going out side saying, "If you go outside you will get covid-19
Miranda Brooks 5 years ago
No 5 year old understands ages like that should have made the joke kid 12
Christopher Mayer 5 years ago
then again, the COVID-19 virus doesn't give a damn WHAT age you are...
Janet Fox 5 years ago
Old school, I'm sorry.. If a child that young is allowed to address an adult, especially an older adult, they should be taught to preface the name with Miss, Mrs, or Mr. Nobody teach kids manners these days?
#3
Cee Mor 5 years ago
Because you know the minute a vaccine comes out for Covid 19...those anti vaxers are going to be all over it.
Monday 5 years ago
Can we start a petition that you have to have all the vaccines you can reasonably and safely get if you want the corona vaccine when it comes out?
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Chris Jones 5 years ago
Yes, bar that impacts immunocompromised people. Force antivaxx fools to have it and all the other vaccines instead - for the sake of others!
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Angela Campbell 5 years ago (edited)
there already a post from an anti-vaxxer who wants to do a corona party. I'm afraid.
Deborah Brett 5 years ago
Maybe experiencing a pandemic will help anti-vaxxers recognise why vaccines are so essential. Without vaccines, measles, mumps, chickenpox, smallpox, polio, pertussus etc, could all cause pandemics. Pandemics worse than were historically the case, due to the increased population density and ease of movement, exactly as we see in Covid 19.
Leslie Burleson 5 years ago
We're tired of arguing with idiots 🤷🏻♀️ And no, I wouldn't get that rushed through production and past safety standards , with a very bad virus vaccine. But you're all welcome to. Hopefully it won't kill too many of you
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Tania Woods 5 years ago
Could you say that people can't have a covid19 vaccine until they have had all the others?
Christopher Mayer 5 years ago
And here, I thought a vaccine was a machine to clean floors with
Of course, laughing during a stressful time like this can seem a bit strange. Or even hard to do. But we shouldn’t be afraid of laughing during a crisis. It’s for the best because it helps reduce stress and anxiety.
“Huddling around the radio, so to speak, and listening to the news reports just tends to amplify the scariness of what's going on,” director of the University of Colorado Boulder's Humor Research Lab Dr. Peter McGraw pointed out.
"And a bit of comedy—whether it be through your Instagram feed, through a Netflix comedy special, or calling up your friend who's pretty good at making jokes in the face of tragedy—is not only a good way to distract yourself from what's going on, but it's also a good way to delight yourself," McGraw said.
#4
Mike Rodrick 5 years ago
I'm going to make a tshirt reading "I have the virus" and wear it to the grocery store. The people will part like the red sea. BWAHAHA!
#5
Kanga9ine 5 years ago
My mom adopted a wiener dog named Tiny. Tiny was a little chunky and had some years in her so, defying the laws of gravity, her tummy was about .5" off the ground. I always referred to her as Lowrider. Seemed apropos.
#6
Bobert Robertson 5 years ago (edited)
Both talented people, I can't even draw a stick figure without a broken leg
Jace 5 years ago (edited)
The figure gets the broken leg as a drawing accident, or you get the broken leg just trying to draw the figure?
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Christopher Mayer 5 years ago
That's irony for you; one keeps planes from cracking up, and the other helps them do so...
He explained that most of us are feeling a lot of uncertainty in our futures because of Covid-19. “One of the challenges that people are having is that the government is asking them to 'socially distance' themselves and that can make life a little bit difficult because one of the great ways to cope with fear and uncertainty is to lean on people that you care about and to communicate with others and to have a strong social support network."
#7
Kaisu 5 years ago
Yep, now we see that workers who are actually essential for our society to keep working (nurses, garbage men, store clerks, cleaners etc etc etc) are so underpaid despite doing the most important kind of work!
Beans 5 years ago
Exactly, and CEOs and celebs and even sportspeople are not on this list.
Load More Replies... Jessica Temple 5 years ago
yep. I feel that. I am going to work, providing for the public but can barely buy my own food.
#8
Bob Beltcher 5 years ago
Since 2008 they have spent nearly 95% of all their cash to buy back stocks. Tell them to sell their treasury stock at market price and deal with it.
Linda Slavin 5 years ago
no way a bailout for the airlines!!! Tell the higher ups to take a pay cut!
#9
Cee Mor 5 years ago
It is a very real job and it's keeping me alive (yeah I could cook but I'm not really all that good at it)
Monday 5 years ago
You think they'll actually learn to appreciate retail workers now? My money is on no.
Not what you think. 5 years ago
Your bet is safe. People will never learn and for companies, these same workers will be as disposable as they were before. It's really sad but it is what it is.
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CatWoman312 5 years ago
Grocery store employees deserve raises. I thank them every time I have to go to one. Most of them don’t even say you’re welcome. They’re overworked and underpaid
bryguy 5 years ago
They're so used to being treated poorly and yelled at that when someone nice like you comes along they are too beat down to respond with any amount enthusiasm. Very overworked and underpaid, but the CEOs are making millions and staying in self isolation in their waterfront mansions.
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Wendy Frances 5 years ago
Yeah and the salaries of those people and health care workers like myself, who are in the trenches while sports people sit and earn 40 million for sitting home ... who is more deserving???
pusheen buttercup 5 years ago
Some of us start there, some of us fall on hard times and wind up back there- some of us enjoy it. It's a job- my utmost respect for people who are doing their best.
Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 5 years ago
I expect much more respect to the people who are running our countries these days and are overly downpayed
Since going outside and socializing is now out of the question, we’re mostly left with online streaming services, YouTube, and social media to get our fix of humor. However, McGraw warns us that spending too much time on social media right now might be a mistake because “your social media feed is a mess” due to the coronavirus. That’s why he suggests watching professional comedy specials, funny movies, and reading hilarious books.
“I would say turn your phone off, tune in and take a little bit of a break. You certainly deserve it."
#10
Beamer Alert 5 years ago
i was mad at first and then i laughed and then i got mad again wow WHY IS THIS SO TRUE
CatWoman312 5 years ago
And interestingly enough, a new celeb has the virus everyday. I don’t even feel sorry for them at this point.
#12
MidnightFury 5 years ago
Honestly how did this person manage to fully hollow out a tangerine and make it look the same?
Tris Prior 5 years ago
You know your bored when you give a C-section to an orange, but to be honest I’d probably do it cause if been so bored.
#13
Troux 5 years ago (edited)
Get with Karen, she's negotiating it.______________ Update: As funny as it's been to laugh at Laura here, I want everyone to take a second to realize that the exact same thing has been said by Gary Cohn, who was until this month economic advisor to the president. "Is it time to start discussing the need for a date when the economy can turn back on? Policymakers have taken bold public health & economic actions to address the #coronavirus, but businesses need clarity. Otherwise they will assume the worst and make decisions to survive."______ https://twitter.com/Gary_D_Cohn/status/1241706009053331459
Monday 5 years ago
We should unleash the Karens...they'll complain the corona into oblivion
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Karen Anderson 5 years ago
And people with demands like this are running the government or have a right to vote?????
Dianne Patick 5 years ago
Yes! Set up a face to face, up close and personal interview with Mr. Covid 19 and have it filmed in the Fox News offices.
Kelly Hartle 5 years ago
And notice how fast they went from, "It's all a hoax" to "Run for your lives--leprosy!"
Annalese Barameda Felisa Moffat 5 years ago
You guys aren't going to see Xmas 🥺😟🥺🥺 I was told 🤫🤭 Since when does anybody do what they're told??? The only person who created this.. is the only one who should know how to end it..
sharron lynn parsons 5 years ago
There is absolutely no way, anyone can guess, be hopeful everyone, with children being the difficult issue, especially the very young, parents must be creative, find things you have at home, movies you have not seen in awhile, while children are sleeping, put your thinking cap on, what did you do as a child at this age, as a grandma, I miss seeing everyone !!!
#14
Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago
...Cry me a river, I'd cry me a river over you...
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Jennifer Mcbride 5 years ago
I know right, it's like boohoo you live much better than the common folk
PeachPossum 5 years ago
To all the whiners: This is the world's smallest violin and it is playing just for you.
#15
pusheen buttercup 5 years ago
how in the heck does this kid have 600 already?? I have been beat... good job!
Sergio Serg 5 years ago
Celebrities are the worse vile people. Through these times all they are saying with these stupid videos is "hey guys, don't forget about me."
#16
Mascha Claessens 5 years ago
Haha yes. Entire winter of rain and storms. Now: sunny (though colder than most of the winter...)
#17
mph seti 5 years ago
I agree 100%. I also think no one will hire someone who asks intelligent questions like that.
Load More Replies... Jessica Temple 5 years ago
yes!! and i also know I need to look for a job that actually cares about our safety when this is all over.... as long as I live through it that is.
CG2018 5 years ago
This is actually a good idea... it helps you to understand corporate culture and how they would address "disaster situations" in the future!
María Hermida 5 years ago
It helps you understand how much (or how little) they value their employees' health and lives. A company for whom you are just a "commodity" or a "resuorce" is not worth working for.
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Marnie 5 years ago
Sending everyone home is not to protect those specific workers, because most of us are all going to get this virus eventually. What this does is to protect all of us by slowing (not stopping) the spread so that we don't overwhelm the hospitals. So that WHEN (not IF) people get it and need medical care, they can get it. So, let's get that straight.
Esther Harrison 5 years ago
That will tell potential employees what kind of an employer is interviewing you! 😉
#19
Kaisu 5 years ago
Exactly, when do you ever have the chance to help others by sitting on your couch and eating chips all day? Take the opportunity people and don't go out!
Marnie 5 years ago
New virus could come up again NEXT YEAR (next month). So, let's pressure our politicians and businesses to stock up on medical supplies and be ready forever more. And don't be wholly reliant on certain critical medical supplies to come from other countries (largely China). Let's prepare like we prepare for war.
sharron lynn parsons 5 years ago
For families, enjoy your children, they grow too fast, also you may not have this time again !!!
Sam T Godfrey 5 years ago
Does this mean I've been saving the entire human race every day for the last 17 years?
Linda Robinett 5 years ago
I have been doing my part watching YouTube TV (I got rid of cable). Reading. That's it.
cybermerlin2000 5 years ago
I'm getting at least 24k of running in each day! Admittedly it's on the Xbox but still...
#20
KatHat 5 years ago
Yes!!! We were uneducated idiots in the past, so that means we can NEVER LEARN OR DO BETTER NOW!!!!!
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Andres Tejeda 5 years ago
I think the Media missed an opportunity to call the virus the Kung-flu.
Lola 5 years ago
All joking aside, had the Chinese government warned the rest of the world when it started happening, we wouldn’t be in this position. This was a very dangerous secret to keep.
Kari Berg 5 years ago
The reason there is a surge of Covid-19 incidence is NOT due to late warnings from China but failure from Governments to follow advice, esp UK,US and Italy.
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Kenny Kulbiski 5 years ago
Started in China at least partially due to no sanitary standards. Covered up in China giving it a nice head start in spreading. But let's not offend them because they're such a responsible member of the global community.
Linda Robinett 5 years ago
I have seen some beautiful depictions of the Coronavirus and I figure it will be this year's Halloween costume
Monika Soffronow 5 years ago
The difference is in the intention of the usage of saying 'Covid-19' or 'Chinese virus'. Trump is intentionally trying to score political points and create an us-against-them climate. As always, he relies on following his hunches...
#21
Donna Rakowiecki 5 years ago
The outdoor air is not contaminated as long your not gathering with people outside your corona clutch
#22
lorrie rothstein 5 years ago
people wiped themselves with other things before toilet papee. i heard they used the sears catalogs
#23
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
All the people being shafted for unemployment, etc.
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Destini Mattocks 5 years ago
I've always befriended the spiders even before the quarantine! 🤣😜
#24
Amelia Tiernan 5 years ago
The local authorities in my village have put warning tape over these excursise machines and I saw 2 kids WITH THEIR GRANDPARENTS playing on them. These are the people who deserve this virus. What a covidiot
Christopher Mayer 5 years ago
What do you lay odds that will get added to Merriam-Webster very soon?
#25
devi L. 5 years ago
Won't be surprised if this is over just in time for voting
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Slune 5 years ago
Agreed. 2016 was personally my badest year : Felt down a step on the knees......a knee arthroscopy. Now arthritis in both knees Got a Virus on the flight to NYC, felt lousy, getting miserable on a Caribbean Island, high fever , coughing, quite impossible to breath. No doctor. Lastet 4 weeks. Flight 6 hours home , with earplanes plugged in my ears, killing me. No taste, no smell ,almost no hearing = Barotrauma Broke my pinky. My dog died. Chapped a tooth. But I am still happily alive
Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago
Sometimes it seems as though the only good thing that happened in 2016 was the Chicago Cubs finally winning the World Series.
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Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago
And may 2021 bring us a new President of the US.
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Holly Molly 5 years ago (edited)
Here's the manager of Coronavirus that the Karen above wanted to speak to
KEBI Photography 5 years ago
So, I upgraded my Operating System from 2019 to 2020, but I think I need to go back, as it developed a pretty serious virus rather quick.
#26
Mare Freed 5 years ago
This one's on Etsy, and there are similar designs for sale all over.
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#27
Vaida Kuodytė 5 years ago
"I need to buy all this meat and other things because I'll have to cook at home". Day 8: "F**k it, I'll just have a sandwich and nap for lunch again".
Tiffiny Seemann 5 years ago
Food is a real struggle. Forget freshman 15, we will all have Covid 19 by the time this is all over! lmao
#28
Zoe's Mom 5 years ago
I'm seeing a very relaxed, 'In my Dad's lap" look in my humble opinion.
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#29
Christopher Mayer 5 years ago
Of course there's no test; they don't drink Corona beer in Nepal
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
That's how Fearless Leader is counting. If you don't test, they must have died of something else, right? As R. Heinlein once said, all deaths can eventually be traced back to heart failure.
#30
Chris Jones 5 years ago
It's easy to hide the corners within the folds so that it looks neat though.
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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago (edited)
Magic!! I usually just put my hand up the middle (picture a sheet ghost) then grab the top with my other hand. Then wad down.
Billy Haake 5 years ago
The best way I've found to deal with a fitted sheet is wad into a ball and stuff it in my linen closet.
Christopher Mayer 5 years ago
Oh the things one learns when there's SO much time on one's hands...
Sam T Godfrey 5 years ago
That would take me years of practice! Matter of fact, over fifty. And I still can't do it...
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
I'm 666, and I learned from my mother (ho also used to iron the sheets...) I can do it, but it takes two people to do it right (or one with an iron) and frankly, it's a pain in the a*s!
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#31
Paul K. Johnson 5 years ago
LOL... they better stay inside because they'll get mugged the second any sees them outdoors.
Laura Maeflower 5 years ago
Anybody else notice they have a roll up there behind them on the shelf?
#32
Tiffany McBride 5 years ago
We should call ourselves something really arrogant, like "the greatest generation" or something. XD
Sean Harrison 5 years ago
Hey, at least Millenials don't have the specter of Global Thermonuclear War hanging over their heads like us Gen-xers did.
Vaida Kuodytė 5 years ago
Oh yeah. I have diabetes and will probably just be left to die once I do get sick, along with all the old people, so at least I won't have to live with this fear :D
K. 5 years ago
This was not supposed to be a generational divide. Just things that defined the traumas and events we had to face. My parents and grandparents defied their government, left everything behind, and worked hard so I can have a simpler, easy life. I do everything I can and try to learn, unlearn, and relearn things so i can help raise my sisters so that they have a comfortable life but still be able to face life’s stressors and be strong for themselves and others when necessary. It’s about honoring the heroes before you. It’s about being humbled by the new generation of heroes making their way into the world and creating a better future. It’s about knowing where we fall short, and helping each other be better.
Anna roberts 5 years ago
Yeah some parents are all upset cause their kids can't have a graduation or prom, I figure I'll make a cake and say "welcome to adulting, we tried to tell you it sucked
Mari Bryant 5 years ago
Still acting like nobody else goes through these things too. You are the only ones. Lol
#33
Aisha La Gatta Pelirroja 5 years ago
Od course they are - he is a YouTuber now after all. ;)
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Luna Lovegood 5 years ago
I think we've all been doing this kind of c**p, not just boys. Yesterday I was in my pajamas just running in circles around my backyard. You gotta do something during quarantine.
#34
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago (edited)
Li ce is the worst. !. When my boys got it when they were younger I just shaved their heads.
Luna Lovegood 5 years ago
Yeah. I've had lice twice in my life, but I'm a girl with fairly long hair that I had worked really hard to grow out, so neither I nor my mom wanted to cut it off, though I think my mom came pretty close the second time I had it. Lice sucks man.
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#35
Donna Davis 5 years ago
I want to sneak out, be " the masked photographer" everyday and every night and collect " history in pictures"!!! lots of people in lots of Cities are not following the guidelines for the COVID-19 threats and warnings, " a political scam of the worse kind, or not!?????!!! Truth or Dare, I'm in!!!!!!
#36
Mireia Dos 5 years ago
Imagine being on the International Space Station and not knowing if there'll be anyone alive down here to get them back... or to get back to.
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
And the one on America says 'Of course we're open (for business)!--tRump'
Sam T Godfrey 5 years ago
My favorite part is watching trump squirm 'cause he's not making money being closed...
Rustyn Birch 5 years ago
There was a movie with this plot, called "Love" made in 2011. It's a tough watch...
Frances Barrett 5 years ago
Now they'll realise how Neville Shute felt when he wrote "On the Beach"
Frances Barrett 5 years ago
they'll know what Neville Shute felt like when he wrote "On the Beach"
#37
Marcellus the Third 5 years ago
If he misread a vision it's dyslexia. If he did some exegetical analysis badly it's possibly dyscalculia. Most chance on dyslexia I'd say.
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Elaine Tabor 5 years ago
Did Lexus is when a person has literary problems for my friend the words don’t look like they should
#38
GenXandEarnedItAll 5 years ago
They've been quarantined for so long that the sun never aged them!
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Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago
her 80s child hairdo and his sweatervest...yeah, married 4-evah...
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Shirley Richard 5 years ago
I like this one, they're expressions are truly sincere even with just the eyes showing. Perfect, TP in the background.
#39
Desmon Gray 5 years ago
literary happened a few days ago, seniors and the year before have been asked/required to volunteer
Vaida Kuodytė 5 years ago
Better than most ancient Soviet doctors we have who only know how to take bribes and kill people.
Linda Robinett 5 years ago
They are doing that in New York if you have essentially completed the classes.
#40
Analyn Lahr 5 years ago
I'm a Cats fan and from the preview alone, I deemed that movie unnecessary and done completely wrong. They could have done animated singing cats that looked like real cats but no....They made them look people shaped like the stage production.
Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago
and it so departed the original text...TS Eliot has been rolling in his grave since the 80s...
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#41
#42
Mystery Egg 5 years ago
I am.....and I LOVE IT! Just me and the dogs and no annoying humans to annoy me. I'm in heaven.
#43
#44
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago
Awesome! I want to go exploring for lost stuff in my own home!! I'm serious.
#45
#46
Upside of the pandemic: A new type of visit with my in-laws I can really get on board with
#47
Dutch VanZandt 5 years ago
Impressive skills but that type of packaging needs to be illegal...
#48
#49
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago
Do you see any hidden cupboards with long list toilet paper like that one guy?
Phoenix Shadowhunter 5 years ago
I think those walk-in closets look like a great spot for a vacation!
Donna Reynolds 5 years ago
I'd pick the walk in closet. An intimate retreat of unmatched beauty.
Pretty Pangolin 5 years ago
I'm in a studio apartment (one room plus bath). I suppose I could clean. Just not today.
#50
Tiffany McBride 5 years ago
There is a deep pit in hell is for the people who microwave seafood in the breakroom.
#51
#52
#53
Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 5 years ago
This would make my day if I saw this in the grocery store.
Audrey Bob-The-Builder 5 years ago
I have never agreed with something so much!
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Karen Klinck 5 years ago
Enough that you're sweating before it's halfway on.
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#55
#56
Pretty Pangolin 5 years ago
I just saw the clip of Anthony Fauci facepalming at a press conference when Trump 'joked' about the Deep State. OMG!
Load More Replies... #57
Brother got this as tip doing DoorDash
Pretty Pangolin 5 years ago
I bought an extra 12-pack just before the s*** hit the fan, and I had enough to share with someone who couldn't find any.
#59
Tor Rolf Strøm 5 years ago
Its was obviously a joke, jesus people are dense
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#60
Anne 5 years ago
pants that are not jeans, mostly in a dark color (khaki allowed in south)
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#62
#63
hunger games 5 years ago
people in my city are putting eater egg cut outs on there windows to have a "scavenger hunt" for the kids
#65
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#67
Hailtobaphomet 5 years ago
It was Dwight! And that's why he bought the hazmat suit!And he lives on a farm! Omg
#68
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#70
Tina Hugh 5 years ago
Also Mrs Jordan Peele. That must be the funnest household
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#71
Tiffany McBride 5 years ago
No. Being overexposed to hand sanitizers would LOWER your immune system. Sorry.
#72
Jo Johannsen 5 years ago
I'm gonna stick with recommending more traditional birth control. Less painful, less costly, less likely to go too far and wipe out humanity.
Dutch VanZandt 5 years ago (edited)
She can be one of the first to be put into 'enforced' quarantine without medical help...
Not-so-MadMax 5 years ago
I am definitely not disagreeing with her. She states a fact. But I think all of humanity can admit that we're going to be the biggest hypocrites when people we know start dying..
#74
elfin 5 years ago
One does not exclude the other. Plus, they probably spy on each other.
Load More Replies... #75
Chris Jones 5 years ago
Not in the UK. The work will still be there waiting when the quarantine is over.
Load More Replies... #76
Audrey Wegman 5 years ago
a few hours ago I could see the entire word. now, it's FRICKEN BLURRED!!!!
Not what you think. 5 years ago
Again no change for "Essential" workers. We always know our dates.
#77
#78
#79
My 68 y/o dad has quarantine “safe box”. He won’t give my mom the combination.
Dutch VanZandt 5 years ago
Coronavirus or "coronary" blockage... only a few letters difference.
JessG 5 years ago
I'm willing to bet that she's about to have the other lock box filled with all the beer.....let the battle begin!
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Bianka Nagy 5 years ago
Women in their 60s don't have PMS anymore. Also, being an a*****e and then blaming PMS on the woman's response is childish.
Load More Replies... #80
Not what you think. 5 years ago (edited)
If you are in a co-op game, get ready to be called things you never heard existed when you get 'rekt' and fail your team.
PattonPawter 5 years ago
Ok so we got a Nintendo switch last night... one of the games I want on it is LEGO marvel superheroes 2... my dad hasn’t played a LEGO game in a while( I’ve been replaying LEGO Harry Potter years 1-4 and he refuses to do it with me)and he’s gonna get rekt so bad lmao
Load More Replies... #81
Polish Panda 5 years ago
OMG so it's not just me geting the sudden desire to go outside and socialise face to face when I used to live in my bedroom.
#82
#83
#86
Wottermehlon Doge 5 years ago
unfortunately people have to do this because there are so many people needing assistance and because nobody is even trying to slow down the spread they need all the doctors they can get
#87
Marina 5 years ago
i agree it's a very good point, but my guess is it's because the tweet's more of a complaint rather than a joke so it doesnt quite fit the thread
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#89
Debra Timah 5 years ago
It's all fun and games until you need to use a public restroom.
Load More Replies... Pretty Pangolin 5 years ago
I think "plague doctor" is going to be one of this year's must-have Halloween costumes.
#91
Reminder: Frisk your relatives before they leave your house.. they might be stealing toilet paper...
Anne 5 years ago
Because people are idiots.. and they still have people over. because that's not out in public and they came by car.. and they don't realize they are killing gramma..
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#93
#95
JessG 5 years ago
The caption that went with this is missing, it said something like "my dog is very suspicious that I've been home all week"
Cori 5 years ago
Dog: 'It's 10 o'clock in the morning, Fred. Why the hell are you still here?'
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Pretty Pangolin 5 years ago
Gorgeous dog! The other day I saw a whole family out for a walk together - mom with baby in stroller, dad with toddler, and their two dogs wearing little coats. It was like a Norman Rockwell picture.
#97
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#106
Final score:
20points
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#109
Wottermehlon Doge 5 years ago
https://www.essence.com/entertainment/samuel-l-jackson-wants-you-to-stay-the-f**k-home/
#112
#116
Luna Lovegood 5 years ago
On the contrary, I actually feel less stressed because o this. The other day I woke up to a day with literally no expectations. I had NOTHING I was required to do. I didn't have to clean my room, do laundry, nothing. This revelation was beautiful and I obviously spent my entire day building a fairy garden in my backyard.
Beans 5 years ago
Well I mean, that's great for you and you are lucky & privileged, but for a lot of poor people who are living pay check to paycheck, it's a really bad time. Some people can't afford to self-isolate or self-quarantine. Some people don't have enough food at home or goods... But yes I agree, people in good positions who are safe at home should try to make the most of this and be zen about it. <3 And of course there are upsides to this crisis, less pollution for one, etc.
Load More Replies... Henry C Myers 5 years ago
therapist - what stresses you out me - im scared of words that sound like one letter therapist - i see, are you ok
#119
Karen Klinck 5 years ago
You should have heard my housemate scream when he realized they'd cancelled Wrestlemania.
#121
Evil Little Thing 5 years ago
Not sure if this person is suggesting they will be eating this ice cream or f*****g it.
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Kate Johnson 5 years ago
I just saw this, and I've been losing my memory. Stimpy, you got a solid lock on that; that looks exactly how I feel. So many parts are missing that there's nothing solid to build upon. I'm sorry for being such a downer.
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#131
Wottermehlon Doge 5 years ago
Police: "You are under arrest for robbery!" Cat: "What did I steal?" Everyone: "My heart..."
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#138
Once upon a time, there was a pandemic... And just like that every person self diagnosed with gluten intolerance was cured
#145
I don't know why people complain that there is nothing to do. I've spent the day stock piling.
Pretty Pangolin 5 years ago
(revealing my ignorance) what are those? They look like bouillon cubes.
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Pretty Pangolin 5 years ago
Hope he turns out OK - didn't he have part of a lung removed when he was younger?
Andres Tejeda 5 years ago
If everything happens because god wills it, wouldn't covid-19 be gods will as well? So asking him to stop it is messing with his plan.
#157
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Final score:
4points
Orillion 5 years ago
For those wondering, it's a scene from Airplane!. It's the exact moment s**t hit the fan. Literally and figuratively.
elfin 5 years ago
We probably aren't even supposed to use fans. They could spread the virus.
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Kim Jenkins 5 years ago
Scene from Airplane! ? "Looks like I picked a bad time to stop... fill in the blank."
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What do you think ?
John Louis 5 years ago
Good that people haven't lost their sense of humor. I work from home for a living. So I've been doing my part since 1990.
Cori 5 years ago
Today begins week #2 of trying to homeschool my 5 year old while also entertaining my 2 year old and being a prison warden to our stock pile of snacks. If I'm not sitting in a corner rocking back and forth and drooling on myself by this time next month, I'll be shocked. 🙃🤪🤯
Bob Beltcher 5 years ago
LOL, shoes. I haven't worn undies since last week.
Load More Replies... Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
Here's my advice: Use this time to be creative. Do what you always said you'll do but never got around to it. Learn to paint, play the guitar, speak another language, etc. You will get absorbed into creativity and wonder where the days went. When we can go out again, you'll have a new skill and can have a great catch up with your friends about what you've been doing.
-AestheticDevil- 5 years ago
I’m so bored I just watched a 2 minute American girl doll ad for no good reason.
Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago
I remember those... -single dad of 2 adult daughters
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sharron lynn parsons 5 years ago
Some people are too serious, they are unable to enjoy humor, we need laughter to deal with the virus, we have no idea who will live through this, enjoy each day we have !!!
Lisa Connell 5 years ago
This is so scary, so thank you for this gift of humor! These are awesome and they got better towards the bottom!
John Louis 5 years ago
Good that people haven't lost their sense of humor. I work from home for a living. So I've been doing my part since 1990.
Cori 5 years ago
Today begins week #2 of trying to homeschool my 5 year old while also entertaining my 2 year old and being a prison warden to our stock pile of snacks. If I'm not sitting in a corner rocking back and forth and drooling on myself by this time next month, I'll be shocked. 🙃🤪🤯
Bob Beltcher 5 years ago
LOL, shoes. I haven't worn undies since last week.
Load More Replies... Tiny Dynamine 5 years ago
Here's my advice: Use this time to be creative. Do what you always said you'll do but never got around to it. Learn to paint, play the guitar, speak another language, etc. You will get absorbed into creativity and wonder where the days went. When we can go out again, you'll have a new skill and can have a great catch up with your friends about what you've been doing.
-AestheticDevil- 5 years ago
I’m so bored I just watched a 2 minute American girl doll ad for no good reason.
Meyer Weinstock 5 years ago
I remember those... -single dad of 2 adult daughters
Load More Replies... sharron lynn parsons 5 years ago
Some people are too serious, they are unable to enjoy humor, we need laughter to deal with the virus, we have no idea who will live through this, enjoy each day we have !!!
Lisa Connell 5 years ago
This is so scary, so thank you for this gift of humor! These are awesome and they got better towards the bottom!
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