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From what we’ve seen happening in the world so far, no pandemic can ever stop the pundemic! In these trying times, jokes are among a small handful of things we still have control over. The others are which PJ’s you wear for work o'clock and wine o'clock.

And for this reason, the newest coronavirus jokes of the week are in! Compiled by Bored Panda and executed by some of the wittiest minds on the internet, the gems are at your service. Consume recklessly, because a little comedy never killed nobody.

And if you need another dose of feel-good laughter, you know where to look: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6. You’re welcome.

#1

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

Chris Bellers Report

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Hans
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Corona might have one good outcome: people FINALLY learn to mute themselves in virtual meetings when not talking.

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Bored Panda contacted Ariane Ling, a clinical instructor in the the Department of Psychiatry at NYU Langone Health, who told us about the toll the current crisis has on our emotional state. It turns out that harnessing a sense of humor during this time is one of the most effective strategies to cope with unpleasant feelings.

Ling explained that there are both short-term and long-term benefits of cracking a joke now and then amid the crisis. “It helps to manage and tolerate stress in the moment while also maintaining perspective and resilience moving forward.” Humor is one creative way of coping rather than avoiding and going into denial about things.

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#5

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

CNN , mileskahn Report

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Foxxy (The Original)
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too right, especially the catholic church. The amount of money they make is astounding, yet people still fall for it.

Juririn
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would say, especially the evangelical megachurches, they are the spreaders of ignorance and stupidity.

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Brandy Grote
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friend is a vicar, she does her services through the Facebook video thing. Her husband helps with readings and music, and it's nice! She lives kinda far, so it's great to see her services!

J-Yogi-Temp-Mom
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I couldn't agree MORE with that response. They absolutely should be taxed, especially if they don't want to follow the guidelines to help keep people safe and healthy.

Lorrie Finley
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There needs to be some sort of consistency from the "leader" and then those that refuse to follow have specific charges. There's too many inconsistencies for charges from petty crime to terrorism. When someone intentionally puts another in harm's way with a weapon as deadly as COVID 19, then it's much more than a petty crime. And the punishment has to be impactful, not a slap on the wrist.

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Crusin Sandi
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, Yes!! Tax them and then we might actually know how much the really make

Sergio Bicerra Descalzi
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't trust church one bit, but seen some that are quite good. Can't remember which one, but their signs read somerhing along the lines of "You are gay? You are welcome here, we like rainbow flags too" i find it great, really.

Terd Fergison
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The churches should be held accountable and taxed. The governor should be held criminally liable, prosecuted, fined, and thrown in jail.

Water Bottle
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4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

You only seem to comment on religious posts, and when you do comment it is always bathes other people’s religions in a very negative light.

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deanna woods
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think God will understand if you don't go to church for a few weeks. He knows what's going on and I don't think he would want us to get sick in his name.

Wottermehlon Doge
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Passover is tomorrow and I'm gonna be having a seder all by myself... damn you 2020

Terd Fergison
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wottermehlon Doge, have you thought about the morality of the god of the bible and the passover story? God's plague in Egypt was to kill first born Egyptian sons. We have to conclude that some of them must have been babies, infants, toddlers, etc. You are worshipping a baby murdering god. Isn't that sickening? Also this supposedly all-knowing god can't even tell who his chosen people are. He needed the jews to slaughter innocent lambs and wipe their blood on their doors, so he would know what babies not to murder. Just a f*****g disgusting and insipidly stupid story.

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CincyReds
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just don't get how it is essential. I have not been to Mass since this all started. Isn't God everywhere?

Chris Lee
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Churches qualify for the loan relief and possibly will not have to pay them back. The separation of church and state is one way now.

M E
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHAT do you expect the MORONS ELECT MORONS they need and want to get the COVED 19 aw I hope everyone coughs on them

Lorraine R
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How about we rewrite the tax code so that the billionaires pay their fair share? They love to donate huge amounts to galleries and museums and opera companies for tax write-offs, but darn few give anything to help the truly poor who need it, as the churches do.

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M Adams
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Churches are nonprofit, and they do pay property taxes usually. Their employees pay income taxes. Churches give away food, clothing, and sometimes provide shelter and help in a time of need. The purpose of a business is to make money.

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never heard of Paula White? Or that vicar that bought his wife a Lamborghini? Or all the televangelists getting loaded and living the good life on their parishioners donations to the church? Never heard of the enormous treasures in the Vatican? Churches were never intended to be non profit.

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Christina Uhlir
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The government is afraid to govern, and I doubt that God sent down his lobbyist.

Smiley Rie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not sure which is worse - the woman caught on video coming from a large church service saying she's not worried about catching it because she is "covered in Jesus' blood", (& this view is shared by her minister), the Orthodox church leaders refusing to stop their "one spoon" sharing ceremony, because "it's a religious ceremony so will be protected by God", the priests in Myanmar who advocate putting 7 peppercorns under the tongue to protect from the virus or the one in Iran who advocates putting primrose oil on your a**s to protect from it... are they trying to secretly cull their congregations??? https://globalnews.ca/news/6787633/coronavirus-easter-pastors/

Christina Uhlir
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think so, they want collect dues; it seems that religious people simply believe in the fiction.

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Trish Greene
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just crazy talk. I watch my church services online...at least until this is over.

Frozengeckolover
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most churches could still meet, if they would follow the rules: no more than 10 people at a time and everyone stays 6 feet apart. But, no church is going to do that, so they need to close. All the churches in my area have started doing their services online and the preachers (priests, rabbis, deacons, elders, etc.) are doing live chat or phone calls for people who need to talk in private. I'm not religious, but some are arguing that the Bible says, "forsake not the assembling of yourselves" (meaning you should attend church). However, when that was written, he never envisioned the social media outlets we have nowadays. You can assemble online; I'm pretty sure God would be cool with that. I'm also pretty sure your God would be very disappointed in you if you endangered your entire community just to attend church.

Amanda Hunter
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They'll be extra busy holding the funerals of the congregation then.

Troy Currie
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God helps those who help themselves...he tends to leave the idiots alone.

Mya Lugar
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jesus Christ..This is not a planet-wide myth that demands people in a pandemic mingle and put others at risk of spread. Put the service on skype or something. or print a program. Maybe they found go through a drive through to get it.

Chris Jones
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unnecessary journey. Could have an accident and put emergency services at risk and also use valuable resources. Stay at home and worship online.

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Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm all for letting church continue. The plague that is religion will solve itself.

Colin L
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem being they will spread the germs far and wide... and like proselytizing, nobody wants that!

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sharron lynn parsons
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We do not need to be in a religious building, worship comes from the heart !!!

Bonnie Clark
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes they are a business, BUT social distancing is more VIP. Use ZOOM for your congregrations. Must safer that getting sick and or/dieing

Fluffypuppy234 Idc
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish my state did this nit going to church especially on Easter is wrong

Andy Johnson
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

GODS WORK..EVERYONE'S BUSINESS..LASTS FOR ETERNITY. PLUS FIRE INSURANCE

DiegoS
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

people can pray together with zoom or alike if they want instead

AnnSmithJones
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's says the CONDUCT essential business. Churches provide food, clothing, shelter, financial aid, counseling and health care services to people all over the world, no matter who they are. Most mainstream churches (Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, etc) are closed and only have the very minimum of staff to help with the huge influx of funerals & emergency help for the needy. It's the pop-up evangelical churches that are being selfish. Check your bigotry.

AnnSmithJones
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Churches provide food, clothing, health care, shelter and counseling to millions of people around the world. With the exception of a lot of the evangelical churches, most mainstream churches are closed, only having a few staff to help with funerals. So check your bigotry.

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Understandably, many of us feel anxious and keeping that sense of humor up is one of the very few resources we have right now. “Patients have shared how things that would normally help with stress are no longer available, including meeting up with friends for brunch, playing sports with their local league, going to the gym, etc,” said Ling. As a result, some “of my patients have described [the situation] as surreal or floating without an anchor.”

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According to Ling, psychological wellbeing can also go in a positive direction where it is possible to keep spirits high when faced with large-scale tragedy. She explained: “Despite physical distancing, it's evident that people have been taking advantage of technology to stay social and connected. I’ve learned from my patients that holding on to gratitude is also critical in bolstering resilience.” It all comes down to being thankful for small things and enjoying the moment.

The clinical instructor also told us that in their NYU Langone Health clinic, “we started a 'good vibes' email chain where we share uplifting stories and clever memes.” So next time you’re thinking of sharing that meme with your friends and relatives, just press send—it may be all they need now.

#12

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Lazy Farmer
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HAHAHA! I bet lots of cats feel the same way. My dog's are also starting to look a bit tired. Instead of sleeping all day as usual, they now have to follow my husband in case he's eating something or doing something interesting.

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#13

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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#14

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#17

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Rama Llama
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh god, I have been so caught up with all this alone time that I haven't even though that there are introverts that live with other people.

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#18

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Foxxy (The Original)
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been TRYING to sleep in now that I don’t have to get my son ready for school.

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#20

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Rabbit Carrot
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone else actually want to try that. Put some water underneath and it’d be fun.

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#23

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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EA
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Talking about you Chrissy Tegan and the Beckhams -_- tell us all again how you’re struggling to cope from inside your mansion with huge grounds and nannies and live in staff...

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#26

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Lou
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I bet you took the gun because there's also yeast on the list.

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#29

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EA
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I choked on a sweet the other day whilst sitting in the back garden. We live next door to a garage and shop and I swear the people queuing to get groceries were freaking out about the ill person in the house next door 😬 And I just wanted to shout I’M NOT INFECTED JUST AN IDIOT DON’T WORRY.

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#31

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Foxxy (The Original)
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least 3 times in 2 weeks we have had massive groups of people hanging out at the beach. Like seriously, these people are completely f****d in the head. What part of STAY THE F**K AT HOME do they not understand.

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#32

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#40

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Hans
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Goverment also: "Being essential and reasonable pay have nothing to do with each other."

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#41

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Mark
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her boat is a floating gin palace that accomplishes nothing worthwhile , my boat will eventually become a home to all sorts of marine life.

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#42

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

Ipsi Report

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Tami Bridges
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know if it's the being stuck at home or not, but that made me laugh too much

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#46

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Tina Hugh
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pissing the night away. Pissing the niiiiiiight awaaaaaay....

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#47

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Mark
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course not, they are sat there rubbing their hands working out how they are going to make yet more money out of it!

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#49

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just taught a whole lesson on "Flowers for Algernon" to my students in my PJs

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#51

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

Andremosfera Report

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M Adams
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its the same day over and over again till he learns a lesson.

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#53

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Mark
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, I know how you feel. I was beat in tic-tac-toe by a chicken

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#54

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Ashley Galyen
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd quarantine any decorations with words on it. Don't advertise to me what I should be feeling in your house.

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#55

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#59

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#61

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Mark
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You wanted this dam picture taken so I am going to wear my Spongebob jammies, okay!

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#63

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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ola
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh now I know why Polish goverment forbbids entering forests and parks.

#67

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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brukernavn340
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then you have too much money. (Edit: I read "mini laptop for my dog".)

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#69

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Mark
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like how the woman is 2 metres from the cat never mind the fact the cat is 2 metres from the person in front.

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#70

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Celia
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But its a good sign because they said early symptoms include lost of smelling

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#71

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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La Petite Morte
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, given that Willem DeFoe voiced Ryuk for that movie he was the best part!

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#72

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Monty Is Fiennes
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my country you can't return them...they changed the policy so you can't rescind buyers remorse....coz panic buying was dumb to begin with....

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#74

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Ashley Galyen
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

About time! The child ran crime unit knew where he was hidding for years, but the commissioner decided to dismiss those findings.

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#75

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Mark
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At once or one after another? Mind you you could watch them all at once, starts with not a lot happening, wander around a bit, have a bit of fight, wander around a bit more, have a bigger fight, find a love interest, wander around a bit more and then have one big final fight, pretty much covers all of them doesn't it?

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#76

Coronavirus-Quarantine-Funny-Jokes

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Suzanne Beaulieu
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is an HEB grocery store mascot. You are not essential, but maybe the costume is helping keeping you safe (but probably not! ) I hope this picture is old.

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#77

Coronavirus Jokes Are Everywhere And Here Are 153 Of The Best Ones This Week

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Lavender Brown
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yassss. So true. Especially for Minnesotans today it's going to be 68 degrees!! Spot on!

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Daria B
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, to be fair, N. Korea has been in isolation all this time, and we have seen plenty of ghost town resembling empty streets, so.... As long as they don't do the military parades....

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#83

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Ashley Galyen
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Say yes, and makeup some story about how hard it was because there was no spotify or ipad.

#84

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Pau Tea
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So basically all the midnight show hosts filming themselves during quarantine...

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#88

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Laugh Fan
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahaha - my dog loves doing this to my nose but he's quite clumsy and heavy-pawed. Usually hurts. I forgive him though because he's a very, very good boy.

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Lemon
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Waffles have great social skills! I, on the other hand, do not.

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#92

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Daria B
Community Member
4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one conspiracy is so embarrassing for me, as a human being of the 21. century. Some people need to go back to school.

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#94

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Anne
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have to at least put jeans on every fifth day, if they don't fit, your quarantine snacking is out of hand.

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Mark
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What are those things coming out of her nose, Spaceballs, oh s**t, there goes the planet!

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Alina
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's sad.. Quarantine or not I can't imagine life without gaming with my husband.

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#108

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DKS 001
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yup ,,,, and for a custodian having to clean up after the "essential people" it sucks big time. Can't ya'll clean up after yourselves?

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Carol Taylor
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

guilty of letting them rip without first checking if someone was behind me, chuckle..

#113

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh, our grocery bill has increased dramatically and not just because of snacking but also because the f**k heads stripping the shelves bare and leaving a handful of the more expensive items. I usually pay less than $2 for flour and I had to pay over $4, I also pay less than $3 for body wash but had to pay $8.50 coz that’s all they bloody had. Add the fact that many of our fruit and veg are dearer because of our recent bushfires doesn’t help.

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Ninja Kitty
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sure certain people agree to this. my school is online learning, and not only did they give us 5 times the regular amount homework, but they gave us 10 times the amount. LUCKILY, I finish it in time.

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#127

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ƒιѕн
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Clearly photoshopped, there is not that much food on the shelves anymore.

#129

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#138

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Tor Rolf Strøm
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Memes like this don't work very well, because taste in music is way too subjective.

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#141

Coronavirus Jokes Are Everywhere And Here Are 153 Of The Best Ones This Week

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#142

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Pretty Pangolin
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, there are only two places here currently selling coffee...I make sure to alternate days so they don't think I'm bad at quarantining.

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