Katy Milkman, PhD, is a professor at The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. She’s also the host of Charles Schwab’s popular behavioral economics podcast Choiceology and author of How to Change: The Science of Getting From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be.

The best-seller describes the little things you can do to make a big difference in your life.

"How did Google become the great[est] search engine? Because it has this very efficient algorithm. It takes the path of least resistance. It looks for a fast solution. And that's what we do too. We prefer to choose the easiest way to achieve any objective," Milkman said.

"Most goals fail. And if you aren't strategizing and making plans and setting goals and figuring out what could stand in your way and using the best science-based strategies, you're not giving yourself the best chance at success."

So, we decided to dig a little deeper and put together a list of psychological "hacks" that people have tested themselves and reviewed positively online.

#1

Child with bike and helmet making a face near a closed playground, illustrating psychological tricks effectiveness. Best one for kids, and this works wonders for behavioral problems. You never say "don't do x." I had a terror child in daycare and people would yell at him for acting out. I would start each day by saying "You're going to be a good boy today!" And every time he acted out I would say "wait, you're my good boy right?" He would say yes and stop doing it. When his mom came to get him I made a point to of telling her how good he was. That child never acted out around me after a week.

myBisL2 , Mick Haupt/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #2

    Bearded man yawning by a river in the city, highlighting real-life psychological tricks in action. I used the "gray rock" method on my narcissist brother in law.

    Basically, I made myself so dull and boring and the opposite of drama that he learned to avoid me at all costs. It worked like a charm, and only took 4-5 encounters to take effect.

    Sparkly_alpaca , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #3

    Two people having a discussion, one holding a clipboard, focusing on psychological tricks in a bright, modern setting. If you work with clients, prevent them from getting defensive and angry by not using the word "you".

    It's not "you didn't send the attachment", it's "the attachment didn't send". Don't blame them, blame the thing you're talking about.

    I take my time when I write emails to clients because I like to word things *just* right...one word can be the difference between a happy client and an unhappy one. The right words in the right order can influence people to make decisions you want them to make. Words are powerful.

    athaliah , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #4

    Person holding a Crunch chocolate bar in the forest, illustrating psychological tricks in action. The concept of getting something for free completely derails a person's critical thinking skills.

    My dad was tool distributor and drove a truck to various repair shops selling tools to mechanics.

    He got an idea to start selling candy bars on his truck for one dollar. But you would get a free candy bar with every tool purchase.

    Almost everyone who asked how much the candy bar was didn't want to pay a dollar for one, but they would buy a $100 socket set in order to get the candy bar for free.

    graveyardspin , Thibault Penin/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #5

    A woman in a light coat sitting by a laptop, contemplating psychological tricks in a modern cafe. In an argument speak softly. It forces active listening which leads to active thinking. When they are listening and thinking they are not yelling, arguing, or talking.

    anon , Pablo Merchán Montes/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #6

    Two women sitting on swings in a park, engaged in conversation about psychological tricks. You want someone you just met to like you? Ask them open-ended questions about themselves. Don't wait for your turn to speak. Listen, and then ask a follow-up question based on what they said. If you do that a couple of times, that person feels heard and appreciated by you. If they realize they're doing all the talking, they'll apologize and ask a question of you. If your answer is short and pivots back into something they said, you have now formed a connection in their mind as a good listener who is interested in what they have to say. People like that a lot.

    faceintheblue , ewakoof.com Official/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #7

    Person highlighting a book page, with another book and markers nearby, illustrating psychological tricks in action. If you have trouble motivating yourself to do something like learn a skill (instrument, language etc.) tell yourself "Ok, I'll sit down and do this for just five minutes"

    A lot of the time you'll end up going for much longer than five minutes, but even if you don't it's still five minutes of practice in whatever the heck you wanted to learn in the first place.

    KioneRyn , Jazmin Quaynor/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #8

    People walking in a crowded hallway, with one person wearing a red hat. When you're walking through a crowded hallway, if you keep your eyes focused in the exact direction you're going, people will naturally clear out of your way because we sub-consciously use eye-contact with people in order to navigate around each other.

    anon , Marco J Haenssgen/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #9

    Students in a classroom listening to a teacher at the blackboard, discussing psychological tricks. Giving students in my elementary class the illusion of choice. If you ask "do you want to start your work?" Or "isn't it time we got something done?" I modify it to-

    "Would you like to do your assignment with a pencil or blue pen?" They are too consumed with this choice that they have forgotten that they didn't want to do it in the first place.

    Also, every recess-

    "Did you push jimmy?" "No."

    "Ok umm two people saw you do it, and reported it to me. Are you sure you didn't?" "In sure."

    Then change it to "can you tell me *why* you pushed him?"

    "Well it's because..."

    Gets'em every time.

    anon , National Cancer Institute/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #10

    Young child wearing a striped shirt, showcasing psychological observation and curiosity in a serene outdoor setting. Have a toddler that is in a bad mood? Sit down with them, look them straight in the eye, and say "You're mad, so don't laugh." Just keep repeating it as seriously as you can.

    I've done it for 15 different cousins over a couple of decades, and by the fifth repetition of "DON'T LAUGH" they are busting a gut and rolling on the floor.

    Nitrostoat , Rameez Remy/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #11

    A hand holding a pen over a calendar, demonstrating psychological tricks in planning and organization. If someone won't stop talking or let you get a word in, drop something (keys, pen). Reach down to pick them up and start talking. It's a way to interrupt without the other person realizing it.

    Itsme290 , Anete Lusina/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    Maik Rosoft
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once tried it with someone who was trying to rob me (I live in a “Third World” country), and it didn't work, his gun went off and I almost ended up next to God.

    #12

    Two people discussing psychological tricks at a table, surrounded by papers and a warm atmosphere. When someone asks me a question that I don't want to answer, I *always* say "Why do you ask?" It's my go-to.

    Abdul_Exhaust , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #13

    Person handing house keys over to another, demonstrating psychological tricks in successful relationships. If someone is talking or preoccupied, you can hold out your hand and they'll give you whatever they're holding. I did it to my sister with the car keys and made her think she lost them somewhere at the store.

    anon , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #14

    Man pondering with hand on chin, illustrating psychological tricks in action. My favorite is silently maintaining eye contact when a person is attempted to bargain or convince you of something that you don't want to do, or don't believe.

    They usually end up negotiating with themselves (which gives you a huge advantage because once that happens, it is pretty much game over).

    ShowMeYourTorts , Road Trip with Raj/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #15

    Close-up of a person's eyes, highlighting psychological tricks related to gaze and perception. The Flinch. Whether you're negotiating a raise, the sale price of a car you want to buy, who does what chores around the house, always flinch visibly at the first and sometimes second offers. The Flinch can be as simple as a small wince, a sigh, or an eyeroll. The Flinch quite often causes people to lowball the initial offer. I learned this from my was-husband and it freaking works. Got my current job at 10% over the max salary because I flinched.

    HyperComa , Frank Flores/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #16

    Two women engaged in conversation, illustrating psychological tricks in action. When you're talking to someone who's being defensive and there is a pause in the conversation, let them fill it.

    Anonymous: They'll incriminate themselves.

    Superfluous420 , fauxels/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    #17

    Woman with blonde hair, neutral expression, in a softly lit room, illustrating the effect of psychological tricks. I had a very strange encounter with a co-worker once. We were on a break, had chatted a bit, the usual mundane, "are you married, etc, do you have kids" and when I said no, she waited, staring at me, for me to continue. Boy did that ever work, the longer she stared the more I babbled, I couldn't stop talking. I'd finish a sentence, she kept staring and I'd start talking again and not because she was politely listening. She was compelling me to talk. I have no idea why she did that, if it was just her way or if she does that to learn things about people but it was the creepiest conversation I have ever had. I'm older now so that wouldn't work on me but it sure was effective at the time.

    Lifensht , Ty Carlson/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #18

    Person using a smartphone shopping list in a grocery store, demonstrating a psychological trick for efficient shopping. The Primacy Effect (you're more likely to remember the first item on a list) and the Recency Effect (you're more likely to remember the last item on a list).

    If I'm listing groceries for my husband, I make the most important items into bookends. If I'm talking to the parent of one of my students about their kid's behaviour, I always list good, bad, good. They get the information about the bad, but what they remember about the conversation is how they felt good and saw that I care about their kid.

    cxaro , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #19

    A smiling person sitting by a fence, wearing a colorful shirt, applying psychological tricks in casual setting. When something funny happens and people or a person in a group laughs, they will look at the person they like or care about in the group the most to see if they're laughing too. When you notice this it's quite easy to tell who likes who.

    TheFalseAlgebro , tabitha turner/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #20

    A hand holding a coin, demonstrating a simple psychological trick. Before a coinflip say "heads i win, tails you lose". do it quick and they wont even notice.

    anon , Vlad/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    #21

    Man in glasses gesturing while discussing psychological tricks at an outdoor location with yellow accents. If someone says something to you but you don't hear it, then when you ask them to repeat it they say "Nevermind" and sulk, just say,
    "Okay." in a totally disinterested manner and go back to whatever it was you were doing. Most of the time, they'll pout for a second, then say something like "What I was *GOING* to say was...".

    Huuballawick , Paul Hanaoka/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #22

    Man in a white shirt looking up outside, with a car and buildings in the background, illustrating psychological tricks. Silence. I have found that saying nothing is often the most powerful tool of negotiation. I once sold a car with 350,000 miles on it for my asking price, because when the guy was walking around it and pointing out the flaws I never said a word. He talked and talked, and I never responded. Finally he talked himself right into buying the car. I would have gone down $1500 but he never demanded an answer out of me.

    fafa_flunky , Adismara Putri Pradiri/Unsplsash (not the actual photo) Report

    #23

    Two people at a counter having a conversation, illustrating psychological tricks in social interaction. If you want to calm someone down, sympathize with them whilst describing what's upsetting them in descending orders of magnitude.

    I understand why you're angry

    you're right to be frustrated

    This would annoy me too.

    As they accept the acknowledgements they want they should also accept the declining emphasis on emotion and become calmer.

    Lon-Abel-Kelly , Tahir osman/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #24

    Two people outdoors playing rock-paper-scissors, demonstrating psychological tricks in action. When playing rock, paper, scissors stop right before and ask "without looking, can you tell me what color your shirt is?" and people seem to always pick scissors after. I've done it to maybe 20 people and got the same result every time.

    Gr1pp717 , Yunus Tuğ/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #25

    Beagle resting on a patterned pillow, illustrating psychological relaxation. I don't "give" de-worming medicines to my dog, I put them down on the floor and "take" them from him. I guard them, get between them and him, and tell him not to touch them.

    He gulps them down before I can fake-take them from him.

    TheAwakened , Sandra Seitamaa/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

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    #26

    A woman with glasses uses psychological tricks in conversation. Many people (I would say most, maybe almost all) are surprisingly susceptible to flattery and being told what they want to hear. People tend to shy away from this strategy, thinking it will be too obvious and clumsy, but just try it. It's as if being flattered or hearing people agree with you gives people a rush of pleasurable hormones to the brain.

    zazzlekdazzle , A. C./Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    #27

    Person yawning in a sunlit room, illustrating the effect of psychological tricks on behavior. If you haven't slept well, tell your brain "I slept well". You will feel fresh. It works like miracle.

    Want to defeat a narcissist who insults you? Don't react. Just ignore him completely in front of others. It will hurt his image and he will stop poking you.

    Want to know if someone is attentive or not? Repeat your sentence with a slight change in it. If he is listening either his facial expression will change or he will point out and question the part.

    Want to know a person is lying to fit in a group? Just watch his eyes when he talks, if his eyes seeks validation from others for what he said, then he is pretending. A liar /pretender always seeks validation for his talks to fit in the group.

    Giving a presentation ? Always bring a bottle of water to the stage. When you can’t remember what to say, take a drink. Nobody will know the difference.

    Sarang Wadhai , Getty Images/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report