Aging is a natural part of life, but it can be a tough pill to swallow as we move into our later years and face changes in our bodies and lifestyles. Studies show that while our self-esteem tends to be at its highest in our 60s, it usually starts to dip in our 70s, making it harder for people to try new things or seek out exciting opportunities. Moreover, some research suggests that younger generations have grown more critical of older adults, raising concerns about how attitudes toward aging might evolve down the road.

To learn more about the difficulties of aging and how to tackle them, Bored Panda spoke with Dr. Francesco Pagnini, a professor of Clinical Psychology at Università Cattolica del Sacro Cuore in Milan and a postdoctoral research fellow at Harvard University.

“As with all life transitions,” he explains, “the psychological challenges of aging depend on various factors, including personal, social, familial, economic, and medical aspects. However, some common challenges often arise more frequently than others.”

Many people experience a shift in their sense of identity, particularly when they retire or encounter other major life changes. “Retirement can alter a person’s social role,” says Dr. Pagnini, “potentially leading to a diminished sense of self-worth and purpose, as they may no longer see themselves as meaningful contributors to the community.”

Understandably, medical challenges also become more prominent as we age. Our bones can shrink in size and density, making them more susceptible to fractures, while muscles may lose strength, endurance, and flexibility, affecting coordination. Vision and hearing might deteriorate, and a weakened immune system can leave us more prone to diseases.

“Physical health issues can have a significant psychological impact,” notes Dr. Pagnini, “such as reducing the perceived control one has over their life or increasing feelings of insecurity.” Additionally, people might perceive themselves differently to cope with physical limitations because they can no longer do some of the activities they once enjoyed.

Along with physical difficulties, existential fears can come into play. According to Dr. Pagnini, many people try to avoid thinking about death or their own mortality. However, facing medical challenges, losing loved ones, and becoming more aware of life’s limits can bring about deep psychological struggles as we age. Knowing that life might soon come to an end can also change our sense of time, making it feel like it’s moving faster.

Growing older can also be accompanied by a sense of being disconnected from others. “With age, social circles may shrink due to the loss of friends, reduced mobility, or retirement from social settings, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation,” says Dr. Pagnini.

These sentiments appear to be on the rise. Recent research shows that one in three adults aged 50–80 (34%) report feeling lonely. While this is a big drop from 2020, when 56% felt isolated during the pandemic, it’s still higher than the pre-pandemic level of 27%.

Our society also limits the elderly by promoting many aging stereotypes. “We often perceive aging more negatively than it actually is, creating a risk of a self-fulfilling prophecy where individuals internalize these stereotypes, potentially worsening their psychological well-being,” says Dr. Pagnini.

Negative feelings towards aging have become so ingrained in us that we might not even realize how much we reinforce them in our daily lives—from the relentless pursuit of anti-aging skincare to making jokes about life ending when we're still in our twenties.

“For years, I sent my friends 50 and older ‘funny’ cards like this one, which read, ‘I don’t know how much time you have left, so I’ll keep this brief. Happy Birthday,’” writes journalist Steven Petrow.

“I complimented some of those same older folks by insisting they didn’t look their age (as if their real age were a bad thing). I tried to whitewash my résumé—and thereby my age—by lopping off early jobs and erasing the year I graduated from college and grad school. And after my divorce three years ago, I lied about my age when I signed up for dating apps.”

Petrow has since stopped these habits, but his reflections reveal just how pervasive ageism is in our culture.

Embodying aging stereotypes can act like a placebo or nocebo effect, explains Dr. Pagnini. In other terms, how we perceive aging influences how we actually age. If we expect it to be a negative experience, we might end up living that way. But if we broaden our outlook and shift these perceptions in a positive direction, both our psychological and physical health can see significant improvements.

Dr. Pagnini and his team tested beliefs about aging in a study inspired by the work of Ellen Langer, an American professor of psychology at Harvard University, who became the first woman to be tenured in psychology there in 1981.

“We had older adults live ‘as if’ it were 1989 for a week. The participants in the experimental group showed physical and functional rejuvenation by the end of the week!”

Dr. Pagnini encourages maintaining a flexible mindset about aging. “Getting older does not necessarily mean becoming slower, less mentally sharp, or depressed,” he says. “On the contrary, aging can bring new and vital opportunities. Older adults can discover deep fulfillment in areas such as friendship, family, love, spirituality, and even physical activity. And let’s not forget sexuality!”

“Don’t buy into unnecessary limitations,” continues Dr. Pagnini. “I recall counseling an elderly woman who loved to ski, but at 80 years old, she felt it was no longer possible. We discussed how she could still enjoy skiing, perhaps with the support of a companion and on easier slopes. A few weeks later, she told me she had gone back to skiing and felt more alive than ever.”

This is a powerful reminder that with the right mindset and support, older adults can continue to engage in the activities they love. Aging, after all, is not just about what we lose but also about what we gain.