“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not

There is a certain kind of person who has a debilitating need to be seen as superior to their peers. As a result, they will act in a way that they think will create the impression that they really are simply better than anyone else. Of course, the reality is that most of these attempts are aggressively transparent and pretty embarrassing.

Someone asked, “What isn't the flex some people think it is?” and netizens shared their best examples. From boasting about working long hours, to “flexing” money they never earned, be sure to upvote the worst examples and comment your own below.

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Met too many college students who bragged about how “good” their “drunk driving” skills were. Not a f*****g flex. Disgusting actually.

dimndfx3388 , courtneycorlew Report

Final score:

145points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not "I'm bluntly honest, I tell it like it is."

No, you're a tactless b***h and everyone secretly hates you.

RobotStorytime , iamdarosaa Report

Final score:

133points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Making your car loud enough to shift a tectonic plate. Good job, you made your s****y Honda bonerattlingly loud. Enjoy your tinnitus.

baltinerdist , wavyvisuals-377312923 Report

Final score:

126points

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Mav Mav 11 months ago

What's with the angle of that back wheel? - is this a hovercraft?

44points

Cherie DuBeau 11 months ago

It's another idiotic flex that just makes a person look stupid.

13points

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Ken Schroeder 11 months ago

Welcome to the latest fad for teenage "alpha males/players" with too much money and not enough sense.

7points

Mike T 11 months ago

It's called premature tire and bearing wear.

6points

Jade (she/they) 11 months ago

Stance. It's used for drift cars that need upgraded exhausts to provide more power and airflow to the turbo. Also some people (like me lol) just think it looks kinda cool. But a lot of people overdo it

2points

geezeronthehill 11 months ago

Hot hatch. Souped up front wheel drive car with the back wheels pitched out. Supposed to improve cornering. BS as far as I can tell.

1point

Greg 10 months ago

It's for drifting.

0points

Janet Graham 10 months ago

Yes

0points

Baali Venomax 11 months ago

Looks like its trying to make a break for freedom.

0points

Isa's left eye 11 months ago

yes.

0points

Richard Ross 11 months ago

All that noise. Yet the car couldn’t pull a skin off a rice pudding 😂

11points

DB 11 months ago

I love pulling up to one of these at a traffic light. I just look over and laugh my a*s off.

6points

Tabitha 11 months ago

They usually throw in a car stereo with speakers larger than the engine to boot. So you get the double whammy of ear piercingly loud muffler with deafening speakers rolling through your neighborhood in the middle of the night.

4points

OneHappyPuppy 11 months ago

Damn, you live near me?

0points

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Susan Robinson 11 months ago

I live right across the street from a high school. The amount of these things I hear daily is astonishing, really…

3points

Solidhog 11 months ago

£500 exhaust. £600 suspension. £400 tyres. £600 wheels. £1200 body kit. £800 spray job all on a £500 car........stuck behind me doing 15mph in the congestion.

3points

Matthew Fox 11 months ago

Literally no one is impressed by this.

2points

Greenmantle 11 months ago

Apart from teenage boys

0points

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Greenmantle 11 months ago

It's so annoying

1point

René Sauer 11 months ago (edited)

Put the back wheels straight again and put on some smaller wheels that actually have some rubber on them and that car isn´t all that bad.

1point

Donteatme666 11 months ago

Loud car equals small penis figured that out long ago

1point

Vermonta 11 months ago

Not so. It usually means the person can't afford to fix it

0points

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Krod Mandoon 11 months ago

Not sure which is worse, this or Harleys, especially with the large amount of them these days that have speakers as well....

0points

Vermonta 11 months ago

We used to hear a car go by every week night at 11:15 that backfired after every shift. ggggrrrrr -Pow grrrrrrrrrr - Pow grrrrrr Pow.

0points

James016 11 months ago

I remember from my teen years that some kid round here had a mk1 Nissan Micra and stuck a 4in exhaust on it which stuck out quite significantly behind the car. I think it weighed the car down as its acceleration was worse than normal.

0points

Chucky Cheezburger 11 months ago

Gotta love the little fart can cars competing with compensating for little weeny trucks and the look at me, I'm on a motorcycle leather fetishists.

0points

Scott Rackley 11 months ago

what's wrong with wearing leather on a bike?

3points

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Rostit. . 11 months ago

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Bernd Herbert 11 months ago

It becomes more than "just their hobby" if others are significantly bothered or negatively affected. and noise has measurable negative effects on health

11points

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The Other Guest 11 months ago

The boys next door have modded their vehicles this way. When they idle their engines, the windows in my living room & sewing room vibrate so hard I was able to make an audio recording of it on my cell phone. If I'm watching a video on my laptop, I have to pause it until they drive away because it drowns out the audio even if it's set to full volume. Hobby or not, there's no need for any car to be that loud. Vehicles come with mufflers as a standard for a reason.

3points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Putting in a hard days work when you are sick. Now you just made the whole office sick. F**k you

USAisA2ndworldCo , LightFieldStudios Report

Final score:

123points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not "I've never changed a diaper" - from a s****y dad

MandoWhistle , rdne Report

Final score:

119points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Drinking black coffee. Ex-barista here, who's seen a million people coming in boasting that they don't drink that other c**p, they drink REAL coffee.

Nobody gives a f**k Brian

Conscious_Camel4830 , danielnorris Report

Final score:

118points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Alpha male garbage

8ballposse , huntersrace Report

Final score:

111points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Working insane hours. "You only worked 60 hours this week? That's cute. I work 100 hour weeks every week and I never take holidays."

That just...sounds terrible.

bigbirdegg , studiorepublic Report

Final score:

103points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Buying "luxury" brands with gigantic logos all over it

pops992 , laurachouette Report

Final score:

101points

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#10

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Having not read a single book since middle school

illyvanilee , thenathanaguirre Report

Final score:

101points

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#11

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Having massive muscles after steroids. Like, I mean, you aware you cheated, right?

After-Ad3025 , Pump Room 60k Report

Final score:

87points

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#12

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Cracking hilarious jokes about how badly someone sucks, when the someone is your spouse.

PowermanFriendship , jeneannewcomb Report

Final score:

83points

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#13

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Claiming to be:

* an alpha male
* a nice guy
* not like other girls
* politically incorrect
* being honest

RayAnselmo , DragonImages Report

Final score:

81points

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#14

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Rich kids trying to flex their parents wealth

Shadow948 , isthatbrock Report

Final score:

73points

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#15

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not How much alcohol they can drink

hell_adjacent_665 , house_42 Report

Final score:

62points

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#16

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Never taking your pto

Samianorix , swell Report

Final score:

60points

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#17

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Buying the latest iPhone every year.

Physical-Cycle7145 , sambalina Report

Final score:

60points

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#18

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not "Hustling" every waking hour to make money.

When somebody says they do that, I feel sorry for them. You can't keep that up forever, and when you do slow down, you'll crash and burn, with no friends or family to help and support you.

AtomicGearworks , jonasleupe Report

Final score:

53points

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#19

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Getting up really early. Why do some people feel morally superior about this?

melmac76 , EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA Report

Final score:

53points

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#20

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not How little they sleep.

Eric_Partman , shvets-production Report

Final score:

48points

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#21

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Social media "Likes"

Because honestly, who really cares

Canadian_bro7 , georgiadelotz Report

Final score:

46points

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#22

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Boasting about how much something they’re wearing costs even though you know they can’t afford it

ZoeXSweet , fauxels Report

Final score:

45points

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#23

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Overly restrictive diet preferences.

dietitianmama , wutzkoh Report

Final score:

43points

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#24

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Threatening with violence as an grown a*s adult. "Let him say that to my face" or "let him try that around me."

Bragging about how many degrees you have while you work in an unrelated field. "I have a Masters degree in English Lit and a PhD in Spanish" but they file papers for an insurance agent.

Claiming they are an expert because they know somebody in that field. "You're wrong. I know all about this because my dad is an expert in that field." My wife is a physician and I've learned a ton about medical stuff. But I'd never pass it off as my own knowledge. I can only repeat what I've heard.

CaptainAwesome06 , Pixabay Report

Final score:

43points

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#25

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not "I've never taken all of my vacation days..."

canadian_leroy , Rebeca Gonçalves Report

Final score:

40points

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#26

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Working while sick

atomicspacekitty , enginakyurt Report

Final score:

36points

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#27

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Four digit monthly truck payment

redditorpaul , negativespace Report

Final score:

33points

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#28

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Bragging to your boss how many hours you work. They either think you are bad at time management or incompetent or both.

cam-era , Sora Shimazaki Report

Final score:

31points

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#29

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not "I went to (insert whatever douche-canoe ivy league school)."

Cool story.

morrismoses , element5digital Report

Final score:

29points

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#30

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Not liking something. "I don't watch TV" or "I don't read books" or "I don't watch sports" or "I don't like X music or X popular TV show" or whatever. I mean, good for you. I don't like mayo, does that mean I'm a condiment connoisseur/snob and better than you?

Tough_Stretch , trung18tuoi Report

Final score:

25points

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#31

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Bragging about felonies or run-ins with the law

boafriend , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:

14points

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#32

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not When I was 21, the friends group I was hanging out with were all broke college kids (just like I was).

There was a girl that would come over to the party house often, and she would brag about what she bought at the mall that day (usually clothes).

Then she proceeded to brag about how she had racked up 10k in credit card debt like it was some sort of achievement.

alwaysmyfault , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

14points

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#33

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not How high someones bodycount is

here_is_thomas , https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-people-s-legs-4672715/ Report

Final score:

13points

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#34

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Driving an obnoxiously large and unbearably loud vehicle. You think you are a patriot that doesn't bend to authority but everyone else thinks you are insecure, unintelligent, compensating for something, impulsive, and most of all, swimming in debt.

Corninator , Nikola Johnny Mirkovic Report

Final score:

13points

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#35

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Having the American Express Platinum credit card. It’s just a credit card with competitive rewards and a high annual fee.

It doesn’t signify that you’re rich or in “the club”

scurry126 , energepic.com Report

Final score:

11points

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What do you think ?

The Original Bruno 11 months ago (edited)

All these memes claiming you're such a misunderstood and shy introvert, extroverts just can't imagine how hard it is to handle all these parties you're constantly getting invited to! You're just so popular and awesome that so many people keep inviting you everywhere, even though you're socially awkward and show no interest! The real fear of us introverts is that we HAVE to go, or people will think we don't like them or we'll be forgotten about... and that often seems to happen.

8points

David Paterson 11 months ago

I have a book here with translations of alpha male bs. I am assertive - a bully. I am plain spoken - offensive. I am a man of strong opinions - a bigot. I am respected - feared. I am charming - dim but smiles a lot. I am well travelled - sponges off someone else's work. One of the old school - hopelessly out of date. I live life to the full - a drunk. I'm a perfectionist - obsessional neurotic. Etc.

Adam S 11 months ago

I know in some cultures people are taught to be competetive, show your achievements, even “inspire” people by showing them what you’ve achieved. But I just find the whole idea of “flexing” a bit douchey, no matter what that flex is.

similarly 11 months ago

I'm a workaholic. I get fidgety when I'm not working. I have several sleep disorders, including night terrors, sleep paralysis, and sleep apnea, so I don't sleep very well most of the time. I wake up early because I have poor circulation in my right leg due to a childhood health problem, and so I get cramps in that leg very frequently, or it wakes me up. I could just suffer in silence. I could sit around and cry and complain about how awful my life it. Or, I could talk about how amazing it is I get by on so little sleep, and how relaxing it is to get up in the morning and just chill for an hour and a half before leaving for work, or how great it is to get to work early, check my e-mail, get a cup of coffee and start the day right! Some of us aren't really bragging or flexing. We're just making the best of whatever problems we have ... just like most people do.

Gary Geracci 8 months ago

I don't understand this use of the word "FLEX" someone clue me in .I love the items ,Bring e'm On

Kimberly Holloway 11 months ago

People that constantly have the martyr syndrome ("I shop at Goodwill", save the planet types) UGHHH...

Jude Laskowski 11 months ago

Help please BPs, I'm older and have no idea what this "flex" is. TY

Huddo's sister 11 months ago

It is claiming you are better than others because of some interest or trait you have. Like how body builders will over flex their muscles to show how much better they are than others, but often with non-physical attributes.

Hugo Raible 11 months ago

I'm not sure why you had to bring gender into that discussion, when most of it applies to all.

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not

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