“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not

There is a certain kind of person who has a debilitating need to be seen as superior to their peers. As a result, they will act in a way that they think will create the impression that they really are simply better than anyone else. Of course, the reality is that most of these attempts are aggressively transparent and pretty embarrassing.

Someone asked, “What isn't the flex some people think it is?” and netizens shared their best examples. From boasting about working long hours, to “flexing” money they never earned, be sure to upvote the worst examples and comment your own below.

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Met too many college students who bragged about how “good” their “drunk driving” skills were. Not a f*****g flex. Disgusting actually.

dimndfx3388 , courtneycorlew Report

Final score:

145points

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Nae who and where 11 months ago

My drunk driving skills are great, I call an uber/lift/cab or walk my happy a*s. Never, ever get behind the wheel drunk

101points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not "I'm bluntly honest, I tell it like it is."

No, you're a tactless b***h and everyone secretly hates you.

RobotStorytime , iamdarosaa Report

Final score:

133points

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Bonesko 11 months ago

Secretly?

45points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Making your car loud enough to shift a tectonic plate. Good job, you made your s****y Honda bonerattlingly loud. Enjoy your tinnitus.

baltinerdist , wavyvisuals-377312923 Report

Final score:

126points

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Mav Mav 11 months ago

What's with the angle of that back wheel? - is this a hovercraft?

44points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Putting in a hard days work when you are sick. Now you just made the whole office sick. F**k you

USAisA2ndworldCo , LightFieldStudios Report

Final score:

123points

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Bonesko 11 months ago

This happens to where I work alot. Thanks for the cold and the 3 days I won't be getting paid.

23points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not "I've never changed a diaper" - from a s****y dad

MandoWhistle , rdne Report

Final score:

119points

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Surenu 11 months ago

Honestly, neither have I but I don't have children so I guess it's okay?

56points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Drinking black coffee. Ex-barista here, who's seen a million people coming in boasting that they don't drink that other c**p, they drink REAL coffee.

Nobody gives a f**k Brian

Conscious_Camel4830 , danielnorris Report

Final score:

118points

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Bonesko 11 months ago

Yeah! Stop shaming me for my French vanilla cappuccino Brian!

37points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Alpha male garbage

8ballposse , huntersrace Report

Final score:

111points

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Agfox 11 months ago

Tater Tots are everywhere these days. I'd like to see a Venn diagram of them and incels, it could be a perfect overlap

37points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Working insane hours. "You only worked 60 hours this week? That's cute. I work 100 hour weeks every week and I never take holidays."

That just...sounds terrible.

bigbirdegg , studiorepublic Report

Final score:

103points

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DB 11 months ago

I was a store manager for a company that habitually understaffed it stores. During covid it got worse. It was so bad that I would regularly work 70 plus hours a week. But instead of complaining some of my fellow managers were actually bragging about it. Like it was something to be proud of.

6points

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Buying "luxury" brands with gigantic logos all over it

pops992 , laurachouette Report

Final score:

101points

POST

Jon Steensen 11 months ago

Especially as true luxery items are often more tactfully branded. Big logos are tacky and not needed for those who actually know their product and hence a Ralph Lauren will have a logo the size of a stamp, not a print that extends all over the breast of a T-shirt.

23points

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#10

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Having not read a single book since middle school

illyvanilee , thenathanaguirre Report

Final score:

101points

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Multa Nocte 11 months ago

This is a fabulous thing to learn about another person because it tells you a lot about them and about how little time you might really want to spend with them.

54points

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#11

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Having massive muscles after steroids. Like, I mean, you aware you cheated, right?

After-Ad3025 , Pump Room 60k Report

Final score:

87points

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François Bouzigues 11 months ago

Another type of body dismorphia

79points

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#12

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Cracking hilarious jokes about how badly someone sucks, when the someone is your spouse.

PowermanFriendship , jeneannewcomb Report

Final score:

83points

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Jon Steensen 11 months ago

...or anybody else you know personally.

16points

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#13

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Claiming to be:

* an alpha male
* a nice guy
* not like other girls
* politically incorrect
* being honest

RayAnselmo , DragonImages Report

Final score:

81points

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BTDubs 11 months ago

The bragging about being politically incorrect one tho... So you *like* being hurtful and disrespectful.

25points

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#14

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Rich kids trying to flex their parents wealth

Shadow948 , isthatbrock Report

Final score:

73points

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BrownTabby 11 months ago

They’re flexing the fact that they get to sponge off their parents’ wealth. It’s gross and the wealth in question needs to be taxed far more than it is right now, but the flex is real.

18points

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#15

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not How much alcohol they can drink

hell_adjacent_665 , house_42 Report

Final score:

62points

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BTDubs 11 months ago (edited)

Ahh, society, making alcoholism acceptable since god knows when :)

19points

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#16

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Never taking your pto

Samianorix , swell Report

Final score:

60points

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cugel. 11 months ago

Please Turn Over?

12points

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#17

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Buying the latest iPhone every year.

Physical-Cycle7145 , sambalina Report

Final score:

60points

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Isabella 11 months ago

And then saying they are supporting eco movements.

30points

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#18

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not "Hustling" every waking hour to make money.

When somebody says they do that, I feel sorry for them. You can't keep that up forever, and when you do slow down, you'll crash and burn, with no friends or family to help and support you.

AtomicGearworks , jonasleupe Report

Final score:

53points

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BrownTabby 11 months ago

We need to call it what it is, which is “trying to escape poverty”. I don’t wish for someone to have no support when their body eventually gives out; I wish for a society where people don’t have to work so much, and my politics reflect that.

40points

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#19

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Getting up really early. Why do some people feel morally superior about this?

melmac76 , EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA Report

Final score:

53points

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Realistic Optimist 11 months ago

Fun fact: People have different awake and restful times they literally can't change. You can adapt but will never change your default, what's naturally best for you. It's one of the reasons the 9-5 standard work hours has been so bad for people's mental health.

42points

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#20

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not How little they sleep.

Eric_Partman , shvets-production Report

Final score:

48points

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Realistic Optimist 11 months ago

This is a high-school thing, or at least for me it was. From college on it was understood that not getting sleep just made you less functional. The flex became being too busy to get proper sleep, which is a weird flex too, since it's just kind of sad.

15points

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#21

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Social media "Likes"

Because honestly, who really cares

Canadian_bro7 , georgiadelotz Report

Final score:

46points

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Ali H M Salehuddin 11 months ago

Let's see how many "likes" I'll get here.. or "dislikes"

21points

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#22

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Boasting about how much something they’re wearing costs even though you know they can’t afford it

ZoeXSweet , fauxels Report

Final score:

45points

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Tracy Wallick 11 months ago

I love the opposite people, who boast about how little they paid for something that looks amazing and/or is super useful

49points

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#23

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Overly restrictive diet preferences.

dietitianmama , wutzkoh Report

Final score:

43points

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Surenu 11 months ago

I'll have you know, my diet is extremely strict - I exclusively eat things that taste nice!

51points

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#24

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Threatening with violence as an grown a*s adult. "Let him say that to my face" or "let him try that around me."

Bragging about how many degrees you have while you work in an unrelated field. "I have a Masters degree in English Lit and a PhD in Spanish" but they file papers for an insurance agent.

Claiming they are an expert because they know somebody in that field. "You're wrong. I know all about this because my dad is an expert in that field." My wife is a physician and I've learned a ton about medical stuff. But I'd never pass it off as my own knowledge. I can only repeat what I've heard.

CaptainAwesome06 , Pixabay Report

Final score:

43points

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Scott Rackley 11 months ago

Ah yes, the transitive property of knowledge.

14points

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#25

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not "I've never taken all of my vacation days..."

canadian_leroy , Rebeca Gonçalves Report

Final score:

40points

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Jon Steensen 11 months ago

...well that just makes you plain stupid

25points

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#26

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Working while sick

atomicspacekitty , enginakyurt Report

Final score:

36points

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Youdon'tlikemyopinion 11 months ago

Some people can't afford not to work. Which is such a sad thing.

28points

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#27

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Four digit monthly truck payment

redditorpaul , negativespace Report

Final score:

33points

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Ima Manimal 11 months ago

A lifted truck. I have to laugh when they tip over

12points

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#28

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Bragging to your boss how many hours you work. They either think you are bad at time management or incompetent or both.

cam-era , Sora Shimazaki Report

Final score:

31points

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Bonesko 11 months ago

Or that they can use you.

31points

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#29

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not "I went to (insert whatever douche-canoe ivy league school)."

Cool story.

morrismoses , element5digital Report

Final score:

29points

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Multa Nocte 11 months ago

Some people DID go to those schools. Should they make up another story so you'll feel comfortable? Again, it's entirely the way they go about telling their story.

32points

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#30

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Not liking something. "I don't watch TV" or "I don't read books" or "I don't watch sports" or "I don't like X music or X popular TV show" or whatever. I mean, good for you. I don't like mayo, does that mean I'm a condiment connoisseur/snob and better than you?

Tough_Stretch , trung18tuoi Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Multa Nocte 11 months ago

Totally depends on the context. If you ask me how I liked a particular TV show or a movie and I don't go to the movies or watch TV, how is that a flex? It might just be an accurate description of my life. I think that for most of these it's the weird little smug look they give you when they answer that makes it ugly.

36points

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#31

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Bragging about felonies or run-ins with the law

boafriend , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:

14points

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Youdon'tlikemyopinion 11 months ago

Once again such a turn off.

2points

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#32

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not When I was 21, the friends group I was hanging out with were all broke college kids (just like I was).

There was a girl that would come over to the party house often, and she would brag about what she bought at the mall that day (usually clothes).

Then she proceeded to brag about how she had racked up 10k in credit card debt like it was some sort of achievement.

alwaysmyfault , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

14points

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Ima Manimal 11 months ago

Don’t you just love it when people announce their stupidity.

2points

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#33

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not How high someones bodycount is

here_is_thomas , https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-people-s-legs-4672715/ Report

Final score:

13points

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BrownTabby 11 months ago

The term “body count” itself irritates me. Christina Aguilera and Lil Kim didn’t sing “The guy gets all the glory the more he can score, while the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore” so that people could turn around and give this BS a cutesy name.

20points

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#34

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Driving an obnoxiously large and unbearably loud vehicle. You think you are a patriot that doesn't bend to authority but everyone else thinks you are insecure, unintelligent, compensating for something, impulsive, and most of all, swimming in debt.

Corninator , Nikola Johnny Mirkovic Report

Final score:

13points

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Surenu 11 months ago

I can't help it that my vehicle is loud! My bicycle is very old and squeaky and I can't afford WD-40 at the moment...

12points

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#35

“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not Having the American Express Platinum credit card. It’s just a credit card with competitive rewards and a high annual fee.

It doesn’t signify that you’re rich or in “the club”

scurry126 , energepic.com Report

Final score:

11points

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KatSaidWhat 11 months ago

Depends. I encounter a lot of rich people in my job so see a lot of Amex, but they pay theirs back every month while racking up a lot of points and airmiles.

6points

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What do you think ?

The Original Bruno 11 months ago (edited)

All these memes claiming you're such a misunderstood and shy introvert, extroverts just can't imagine how hard it is to handle all these parties you're constantly getting invited to! You're just so popular and awesome that so many people keep inviting you everywhere, even though you're socially awkward and show no interest! The real fear of us introverts is that we HAVE to go, or people will think we don't like them or we'll be forgotten about... and that often seems to happen.

8points

David Paterson 11 months ago

I have a book here with translations of alpha male bs. I am assertive - a bully. I am plain spoken - offensive. I am a man of strong opinions - a bigot. I am respected - feared. I am charming - dim but smiles a lot. I am well travelled - sponges off someone else's work. One of the old school - hopelessly out of date. I live life to the full - a drunk. I'm a perfectionist - obsessional neurotic. Etc.

Adam S 11 months ago

I know in some cultures people are taught to be competetive, show your achievements, even “inspire” people by showing them what you’ve achieved. But I just find the whole idea of “flexing” a bit douchey, no matter what that flex is.

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“Alpha Male Garbage”: 30 Things That Some Folks Think Are A “Flex” But Really Are Not

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