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There are so many weird and creepy people around that look and act normal at first, but when you talk to them some more or even become friends or start a relationship with them, you realize that they are quite toxic or crazy. After a couple of these experiences, you start to look for signs before committing to getting closer to that person.

There are a lot of common signs that are really telling, but we have started to demonize behaviors that don’t actually tell us anything and it's just a normal thing that many people do, including the bad people in your life. 

Reddit user MuchDuck did us all a favor and asked people online “What is widely considered a red flag but actually is not?” allowing people who do certain things to defend themselves and for others to learn that sometimes healthy behaviors that may seem suspicious or unacceptable to us don’t mean that someone is a bad human being.

More info: Reddit

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group I once met a girl who thought it was a red flag that I always placed my phone screen down on a table. She thought it meant I was hiding something. I had to try and explain that it's too big to keep in my pocket and it's screen down to be polite and show her that she has my undivided attention.

Although, I must admit, that her level of insecurity was a red flag to me.

Natural-Ad678 , Jeff Blackler Report

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Anonymous panda
Anonymous panda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a red flag on her part, can't be so paranoid about the littlest things.

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#2

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not having a social media presence. I’ve had multiple people tell me that my choice not to use social media was a huge red flag, but in reality I got rid of my accounts because they were making me miserable. I got rid of my Facebook/Instagram/twitter accounts two years ago, and have been noticeably happier ever since.

taylor52087 , Jason Howie Report

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420Rainbowpanda
420Rainbowpanda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love that I don’t have other SM 😍 just bored panda and YouTube. People always think it’s so weird but that’s ok . I’m happy 😊

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#3

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Being independent, or even a loner. Sometimes we’re just shy and have poor social skills. We’re not “creeps” or “weird”. I just do my own thing and leave people alone for the most part unless they want me in their life.

BurghFinsFan , VirtualWolf Report

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Nevid
Nevid
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes, we're not shy and we don't have poor social skills, we just prefer being alone.

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#4

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not responding to texts immediately.

No *Brenda* I'm not ghosting you, I am literally at work.

deathjoe4 , StockyPics Report

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#5

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Single guy with a cat. I am NOT a monster god dammit.!!!

catfarts99 , Martin Cathrae Report

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Deborah Harris
Deborah Harris
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would he be? The guy likes cats, that's a big yes for me :)

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#6

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not getting along with parents. Some parents are abusive, neglectful, or toxic to be around; and if an adult chooses not to be around that, good for them.

Of course, if a person is actively awful *to* their parents, that's another story.

insertcaffeine , Lorna Mitchell Report

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Nicky Hands
Nicky Hands
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Coming from a family with mental, emotional, sexual abuse, I was called the wrong baby from the hospital for most of my life! Whenever anything goes wrong in ‘The Family’ it will always be my fault somehow! Soooo I try not to have anything to do with them, which is hard because they fight to keep the Scapegoat around 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ Don’t know why because I’m useless, stupid, lazy, a bad mother, a leach on society....but I clearly fill a need in them 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

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#7

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not having many friends. im just very introverted not a weirdo.

sticks-in-spokes , lil'bear Report

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Anonymous panda
Anonymous panda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, being introverted is perfectly fine. Its just been ruined by people saying that they are introverts when they are not.

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#8

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not dating for several years, I’ve been told by girls that if a guy has been single for over five years that’s a problem.

So you’d prefer he’d be in 25 relationships in the last five years and wonder why all those relationships didn’t work out?

bigblueberryboobies , Eila Manuel Report

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Anonymous panda
Anonymous panda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes, not dating is good. Sometimes, dating can be really good. However, get into the wrong relationship, and it is not good whatsoever.

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#9

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Men having female friends. A lot of girls get jealous, but if it's a real friendship and not a bunch of exes and hookups, it actually shows women consider them reliable and good people to have around.

freakydude92 , bluesbby Report

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#10

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group maledependasaid:

A man playing with a child at a playground

Grogosh added:

Decades of that stranger danger stuff ruined dads being out with their child. Sure its a legitimate threat but the real bad stuff happens because they already know the kid, in family, friends, etc.

maledependa , anjanettew Report

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#11

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group SadPlayground said:

Being over 40 and never having been married.

newbuttonacc replied:

It's weird because by implication, it's "not being divorced"

Which is, by extension, "not having sworn a vow to be with someone forever and then broke that vow"

How is that a red flag? Idk.

I lived in a highly conservative area and people were treating me like a weirdo for not being married at 22. Knowing how stupid I was at 22, not getting married was easily the smartest thing I did.

SadPlayground , Umbrella Shot Report

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ItsJess
ItsJess
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't get married until I was 39, lots of people assumed it wasn't my first marriage (it was). If I'd gotten married younger I'd be divorced, I'm so glad I waited.

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#12

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Men that like children and babies. Why do we assume every guy that likes babies is a pervert and a woman can't be?

Nivasha , Eduardo Merille Report

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Anonymous panda
Anonymous panda
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed, there is a lot of sexism against women, but i feel as though there is also some against men that is disregarded.

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#13

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not making eye contact doesnt mean someone is lying.

Electronic-Emu-773 , arsheffield Report

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#14

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group smallemochick said:

not wanting your partner(s) to have the passwords to all your social media accounts

arturobear added:

It's just weird. My husband and I sometimes leave things open on shared devices and each of us, just respectfully logs out and logs in with our own credentials. We don't open each other's mail either.

There's a basic level of respect and trust you need to have in a relationship. If you feel the need to snoop, there's a lot more going on and the relationship has probably been on the rocks for a while. There are more mature ways to handle it - like being open with your feelings and having a frank conversation.

smallemochick , Matthew Jones Report

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Enuya
Enuya
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For me forcing other people to give you their passwords is a huge red flag AND a dealbreaker. I don't have anything to hide BUT I have conversations with people other than my partner where those people talk about their private matters, problems... in general, things which my partner shouldn't know because these secrets weren't entrusted him but for me. Also, there are some things I feel more comfortable talking with my friends or siblings than with my partner. Wanting unlimited access to someone's social medias is just childish and a sign of insecurity.

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#15

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Girls with stuffed animals. It’s just comfort and habit. Not that deep.

Edit: I’m so glad so many others of all identities agree. Its so okay to enjoy comforting items at any age. So happy to see it. You deserve to find joy and comfort in the simple things.

lavenderbleudilly , Francisco Anzola Report

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#16

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group living with family, in this day and age it’s just not feasible for everyone to have their own place.

kumakami89 , AlphaGeek Report

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Alison Hell
Alison Hell
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Houses are so expensive to buy and to rent in Canada and it's so hard for a young adult to be able to afford to move out. I blame the greedy second/third home buyers which boosted the sale prices of homes, and now rent out at exuberant prices having the renter pay their mortgage, or have made them into those air bnb things. For young families, and many other families, the struggle is real.

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#17

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not wanting a relationship, or not wanting certain things in a relationship (sex included).

Not everyone wants the same things and not everyone likes the same things.

ElenCelebrindal , Tradlands Report

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Luke Branwen
Luke Branwen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Extremely important point for people on asexual/aromantic spectrum.

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#18

Understanding that not all criminals are bad people.

Sometimes I try to explain to people that maybe some criminals did what they did because of their circumstances and their weird understanding of how the world works. That does not necessarily make them a bad person.

I am met with such harsh criticism for this statement, like I'm the criminal here. I just "understand" them, I don't commit crimes like them.

At this point I've stopped explaining this to anyone I know without being anymomous.

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Bouche Clay
Bouche Clay
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've been in prison. I committed a crime, and I deserved to be there. While I was there, I got therapy I desperately needed. Prison was a huge wakeup call, and I knew I had to change. It was very difficult, with a ton of soul-searching. Changing your life and making it stick is such hard work. There were times I thought I'd gone crazy; times I felt I didn't deserve to have any good in my life because I was such an evil person. Even after therapy, I haven't quit struggling. Even ten years later, there are times I'm so overwhelmed with guilt that I feel I deserve nothing but evil. I know I've changed. People who knew me throughout my prison years saw me change. People who knew me before, and know me now, tell me how much I've changed. It is possible. It's not easy, and many aren't able/willing to put in the work. For myself, I'm proud of how far I've come, and of the kind of woman I'm trying to become

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#19

Not wanting to spend every minute of every living day w your SO🙄

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Bunzilla
Bunzilla
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most people need some time to themselves. I think that's normal and healthy. If it gets to the point where your SO is feeling neglected, then you need to re-evaluate things.

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#20

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group So relationships are implied but not explicitly specified. So I am going to expand this to employment.

Gaps in employment being seen as a red flag in a resume.

devilsrotary86 , Soon Report

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Lisa H
Lisa H
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This. I haven't had a job in two years and am about to start looking again. I'm terrified of being pegged as unemployable.

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#21

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group The amount of women I know that take it as a red flag that a guy doesn't pay for all dates/buy them things. I'm proud of what I have done with my life and that I can go do those things myself, I like a guy that treats me as an equal. That is not a red flag at all to me

LeafsChick , Chris Potter Report

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Anonymous panda
Anonymous panda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed, the man should not always have to pay. Both genders should pay 50/50. Its just common sense.

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Remi (He/Him)
Remi (He/Him)
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well not 50/50 but pay what you eat. If one person has a hella expensive lobster meal and the other a simple salad, then the halfsies payment model is unfair.

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Mary Elliott
Mary Elliott
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In olden days, when single women lived at home with their parents and weren't expected to work, and if they did have to work it would be due to financial hardship and most likely a low-paying job, and single men were expected to work and were paid substantially more, this dating rule made sense. It no longer makes sense, and I'm glad it's disappearing. Just because something is traditional doesn't make it sacred. I pay for most of our "date nights" because I'm still working and my husband is retired on a limited income. It makes more sense. A woman who insists on her partner always paying is waving a huge red flag of her own She's either harboring misguided gender expectations, a gold-digger or financially unstable. None of which bode well for a long term relationship.

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StrangeOne
StrangeOne
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The way I look at it is whoever asks you out pays, and there should be no pressure of obligation to expect more to come of the date. I'd be absolutely terrified to be dating today when men don't want to pay for a date they initiated, then get angry, just because the girl finds she's not interested in pursuing anything further. Now, if I initiated the date, then I would expect to pay for the date. I feel there would be a double standard. What would happen if I reacted the same way if the guy ends up not being interested? Would it be kosher for me to demand he pay for the date in compensation for "wasting" my time, like some men see it as? But perhaps the communication can start beforehand, such as an agreement to split the bill. It's always good to come prepared. Going out to an affordable spot for the first and second date would cushion any blows to egos and budgets.

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Alison Hell
Alison Hell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have always paid my way or at least offered to...I'm a human being like everyone else and I'm not entitled to someone else paying my way.

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Sweetpotato314
Sweetpotato314
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's easier for me because I'm gay, but I date women, and I'm used to whomever asks the other out pays in the beginning. As the relationship progresses, it's whoever has it. I'm not paying for every day just because I'm butch, although I will open a door or two.

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Benita Valdez
Benita Valdez
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah just because you're butch doesn't mean you have to act like the "gentleman". I couldn't stand my friends partner because they would act like a jerky douche if they were denied acting like a "gentleman". They literally got upset and raised their voice to her because "I'm supposed to carry heavy things and open doors for you". No no P, you're supposed to be equal partners with her and not act like an àss.

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Sarah
Sarah
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The women who want men to pay for the first date are the same women who scream how independent they are and tell us how they don't need no man. If you don't need a man.. then prove it. Pay for his dinner. Or pay for just yours.

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Boerenhond
Boerenhond
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No I always thought it was normal to go Dutch, because I'm Dutch, but my ex would not take my money. He refused. He had to pay. I felt so bad. But it's better. After we divorced I went out with guys who wanted me to pay all and I did, but you could take care of them and they refused to work. One wanted to split. No problem, but it's so stingy and just shows you don't really care about someone. You only care about money. He also asked me how much I made. No money wise ex was the best. We never have problems about money. We both want no child support, but I have helped him out and he has helped me out when he got more. Someone who cares about money is a red flag and also someone who wants you to pay, so I get how you're thinking and tbh I would advice my son to not go for a woman who always wants him to pay, but take one who really wants to pay, yet still pay for her. My ex paid all the food for months until he had no cent left and then he got my savings.

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Mama Panda
Mama Panda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I explained to my son that if he asks someone out then he pays unless she requests to go dutch. I firmly believe too that if someone asked my son out, then she should pay unless he requests dutch too. It's really just that simple

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Circa
Circa
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For me it's a red flag if a woman expects me to pay for everything.

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Neb
Neb
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do you want to be equal? Then don't get unequal expectations!

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DancingPanda
DancingPanda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my boyfriend and i go out (3 months) I feel bad about him paying for things for me so we usually make a deal like you get this…. And I’ll get this…. And we usually spend about the same amount and it doesn’t put pressure on one person or the other, and it makes it easier than making two separate purchases

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DrBronxx
DrBronxx
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was one huge reason why I broke up with my last girlfriend before I started seeing my now-wife. My ex had expectations for me to pay everything, and that eventually she would be a housewife with me paying for everything. Now, I wouldn't have a problem with that if my circumstances allowed it (they didn't, and still don't), but it was the sense of entitlement that came with this "goal" of hers. She had grown up spoiled and felt that her time in the workforce was only temporary until she got married, upon which she would become spoiled again.

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David Ratliff
David Ratliff
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not to sound like an AH but yeah, women wanted equal rights, which it should be, but then get upset when men don't follow the traditions that arose in the unequal days.

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IamMe
IamMe
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think in the beginning it should be either whoever asks for the date or each pay for their own.

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Bunzilla
Bunzilla
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It depends, but I do agree that costs should be around 50/50, perhaps a little more skewed if one makes a lot more than the other. Things like birthday dinners could still be one or the other's treat. Both should still occasionally buy nice things for one another (even something like, "I know you like this chocolate, so I got you some". Doesn't have to be expensive).

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J
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

we take turns in paying, unless it the other person's birthday.

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Jon Steensen
Jon Steensen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is a really tough call, some women wants a "gentleman" and expect you to pay, whereas that behaviour is seen as an insult for the woman who wants to send a signal that she is independent. I would either go with splitting the cost, or a rule of the one inviting (and hence indirectly choosing the price level) is also the one paying, and then you can take turns inviting. Making the male always pays for everything, I consider to be an outdated practice, and it introduces a nasty unequalness to the relationship and an indirect pressure for "compensation" from the woman's part, which might guilt her into doing something she does not really want. I don't like the concept of buying a date like that, or the risk of being exploited for my wallet that comes with it. Clear lines will cause much less confusion and doubts, and being in for the same amount and on the same conditions, I see as the best way to avoid those feelings.

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Ron Webb
Ron Webb
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I was better off financially, I paid especially if I was the one arranging the dates. It isn't fair to penalize someone who wants to be with you but can't afford it financially. It is called respect.

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Jon Steensen
Jon Steensen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are ways around that. A date does not nessesarily mean visiting an expensive restaurant and drinking pricy wine. It can just as well be a walk on the beach, and if you insist on food being involved, it can be a home cooked diner consisting of the cheap cuts but cooked in just the right way (which normally mean adding a lot of love and letting it simmer for hours to make a tasty stew). The quality of a date should be more about the person you spend time with, rather than the amount of money you can spend, so with a bit of creativity you can make some awsome low budget dates.

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Jessi Lovely
Jessi Lovely
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s more of a red flag for me if the man aggressively keeps insisting on paying.

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Just saying
Just saying
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A guy paying for everything goes back about 30 years. Time are so different that females can actually make more money and want equality that this should not even be a thing.

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Vinita Talaulikar
Vinita Talaulikar
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ladies be financially independent. Better we don't expect him to pay for our meals and he doesn't expect anything else in exchange for the dough spent...

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Albany
Albany
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think a good rule is for whoever asks the other on the date pays. So if a dude asked me out, he should probably be paying, but if I asked a dude out, I would pay. It's only fair.

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Sandra Morison
Sandra Morison
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is a very old fashioned way of thinking , depends on occasion, who earns more women want equality so why can't they treat the guy

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Tim Crowhurst
Tim Crowhurst
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IMO the two genuine red flags are someone who expects you to pay for everything, and someone who refuses to let you pay for anything.

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Riley Quinn
Riley Quinn
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. But keep in mind that women not only make less salary than men, they have far more expenses (make-up, hygiene products, pantyhose, hair products,...) than men. So, maybe, picking up the tab should be based on salary/expenses.

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#22

Having an incompatible zodiac sign does not justify treating someone like a red flag. Please stop this madness....

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#23

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not answering the phone or the door just because someone is calling or knocking. Once upon a time if you couldn’t get a hold of your friend or family member right away you assumed they were already busy doing something and you found something else to do. If it was of actual importance you would leave a BRIEF message describing why you called.

Now if I don’t jump up off the toilet just to see who is knocking on my front door or calling my landline (I have bad cell reception where I live) without texting first people act like I’m dead or I’m being an a*****e. It’s so easy to text first that if you refuse to do it, I find *that* a red flag.

Vegetable_Salad86 , Eidantoei / kssk Report

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steaky
steaky
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If i don't expect anyone, I don't need to answer the door if i don't want to. I don't like having unexpected visitors. My close friends and family knows this and always send a message.

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#24

Not wanting drama. It doesn't mean I cause drama, I've lived with drama and I truly won't put up with it, life is too short.

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Kristal
Kristal
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is wanting drama usually considered a good thing? In pretty much any "red flag lists", from professional to BP, drama is on that list somewhere.

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#25

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group TruthProfessional340 said:

Going to therapy

DetectiveBennett added:

Considering less than just two generations ago it wasn’t just a red flag but considered as admission of being really damaged, I don’t think society has accepted that it’s actually a good thing just yet. Boomers definitely used to think going to therapy/being in the “looney bin” was sign they were a bad person and I don’t think they’ve really seen the light on that yet. Hopefully our generations will completely break through these prejudices.

TruthProfessional340 , Jason Rojas Report

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#26

Wanting and expecting your privacy to stay intact. I don't want my partner having my computer/phone passwords and I sure as hell don't want him snooping through my phone. I'm not hiding anything, but I am entitled to my privacy, and so is my partner.

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Benita Valdez
Benita Valdez
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. I'm an extremely private person. I have nothing to hide but my business is my business

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#27

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not going to college

I plan to go personally but some people dont. I've been raised to believe people who go to college have their life together or are smarter than the average person. I've learned pretty quickly that people who don't go to college aren't stupid or anything. Some just have a different life path or can't afford it or found a job or buisness that works out better than any colleges opportunities would've given.

College doesn't define a person's worth. It's just an expensive tool to get some people where they want to be.

Crims0n_and_Cl0ver , matthew Hunt Report

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Anonymous panda
Anonymous panda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed, in the past years i have reconsidered if college is even worth it, with how much debt it puts you into.

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#28

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not posting pictures with friends on your dating profile. Some people assume you’re anti-social and not pleasant to be around, but I choose not to because I feel weird to post pictures of other people than myself.

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Alison Hell
Alison Hell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would think it's weird to post pics of your friends... it's a dating site, why would one ever post anyone other than just themselves.

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#29

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Being quiet.

Everyone thinks I’m autistic or a nerd or something. I have no f*****g clue. I kind of shut up about it because I don’t care and I’m not there to try and prove to anyone anything or tell them they are wrong. It’s actually a good filter for me actually. But every one that works with me, or has to be around me for a long enough time, over time, realizes I’m a pretty cool dude and like to do fun s**t.

Someone even told me, “ya know mathaiser, I thought you were a huge dork but you’re actually pretty cool.”

So, what red flag is that? Being kinda quiet/shy. Just because I’m not pressing whatever advantage or peacocking there is, kinda adds to my quality imo. But I don’t think about it like that either. Just trying to explain it.

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Anonymous panda
Anonymous panda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could not agree more. I see that trend on tiktok and other social media that's like, "when the quiet kid gets insulted", and basically its always just the quiet kid getting stereotyped into being violent/ weird.

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#30

Setting personal boundaries.

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Benita Valdez
Benita Valdez
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not a cuddler but that doesn't mean I don't want you near me. People don't get that.

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#31

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group AngelsOfWar01 said:

Being weird in an innocent way. Like society shuns anyone who thinks outside a set of parameters. When really its just a different way to view the world.

Thrillhouse-14 replied:

Agree. I also don't know why everyone feels the need to try and diagnose weirdness as autistic or ADHD or whatever, too. Why does there need to be an excuse for it? And why would a literal disability be the only thing to absolve that? People need to stop trying to railroad others just because they don't understand them. Some people are just built differently. They don't have to understand it, they just have to respect it.

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Alison Hell
Alison Hell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I happen to yell 'SLAYER!' really loud every.single.time, someone says the word or I talk about the band....yes, people look and think I'm crazy.... I do love Slayer...and it is Slayer, soooooo....but I'm a grandma now so maybe its not acceptable anymore 🤣🤣 🤣. SLAYER! 🤘

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#32

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not owning a car. Idk how that's a red flag for some people, but personally I think public transport is superior

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Sweetpotato314
Sweetpotato314
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It depends on the area. Where I live, there is some public transportation, but it's infrequent. It would take 3 hours to get somewhere by bus that I can drive to in 20 minutes. So, yeah, not having a car where I live would be weird. When I lived in a big city, I didn't even own a car.

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#33

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Jealousy. It’s a human emotion. Feeling jealousy isn’t a red flag. Now, punching the wall, or taking that feeling of jealousy out on a person IS a red flag.

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Sarah
Sarah
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Too many women equate jealousy with caring. The two are not the same.

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#34

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Not having any prior sexual or relationship experience

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Weed in the Garden
Weed in the Garden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You've got to start somewhere....but I see how this could be a red flag. Talk to each other on the phone, voice to voice. Ask questions - it won't take but a few questions to figure this out. You can't hide crazy!

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#35

35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group Being “clingy”. Now ACTUALLY being clingy and overstepping boundaries IS a red flag. But these days a lot of things that are perceived as clingy are just people showing genuine interest as opposed to trying to “play it cool.” Just my opinion though.

YummyIceCream54 , Kevin Jaako Report

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Shayda
Shayda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm clingy af but I also respect boundaries. You tell me to leave you tf alone I'll do it lol. Don't be a "but we can be alone, together" kind of person. Makes me think of that Shrek scary swamp stories where Gingy had the clingy girlfriend voiced by Mable (Gravity Falls)

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