Person Confronts Uncle Over Unpaid Debt At Family Dinner, Celebration Turns Into Shock
Lending your relatives money is one of those weird cases where, on the one hand, it’s a good thing to do, to help out family in times of need. However, you also risk having to write off the money and lose your respect for some relatives at the same time. Don’t lend anything you aren’t ready to use, or so the saying goes and that applies to more than money.
A netizen loaned their uncle $700 without a clear explanation and was then surprised to hear him brag about his business income instead of paying them back. We reached out to the person who created the post via private message and will update the article when they get back to us.
Lending money is always risky, particularly when the recipient is a family member
Image credits: Pressmaster / Envato (not the actual photo)
But one netizen ended up causing a scene when their uncle booked a Maldives trip instead of returning $700
Image credits: seventyfourimages / Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Afro_Samurai-7
Some folks use emotional manipulation to just not repay debts
The vast majority of folks would probably agree that helping out family when they are in need is a normal and even admirable thing to do. Indeed, if someone refused without a good reason, they might be denounced as selfish. However, add money to the mix and suddenly the entire question gets a lot more complicated. Money is just a touchy subject.
As with gambling, people tend to say that you should never give or bet anything you weren’t prepared to lose, which is a very rational way to look at it. However, helping family, particularly when they aren’t known to be that financially responsible, isn’t always the most rational choice at the end of the day.
After all, they might not pay it back and expect that familial relationships to stop you from going to debt collectors or courts over it. Indeed, as this story demonstrates, the person’s family was more concerned about the uncle being “embarrassed” than getting him to pay back money he owed.
At the same time, there are still arguments for helping with money. After all, at some point, you might need to borrow money or get some sort of help yourself. This is a lot easier if you’ve been giving assistance in the past. Similarly, if you can afford to give a loan, you can afford to not charge interest, which ends up being cheaper than a bank or other financial institution for your relative.
The uncle seemed to think he could just “get away with it”
In general, small, trust-building exercises in a family can be a good thing. If you know you can actually rely on your relatives, you now have a much more resilient support network for the future. Unfortunately, some folks, like this uncle, will exploit that system, using emotional appeals and hugs while not actually having a plan to return the money.
At face value, the uncle’s actions were not exactly bad. We don’t know how he paid for the vacation, but treating his daughter post-surgery is a reasonable thing to do. Announcing it is perhaps a bit excessive, but why not? However, the fact that he hadn’t even made a single move to pay back what he owed is suspect.
After all, a Maldives trip will probably end up running for more than just $700, so he clearly must have had the money. At the very least, he could have given his debtor a timeline, or just mentioned that he wanted to do this for his daughter first and pay them back later in the spring. Instead, it would seem that he was banking on the idea that social stigma would keep the money lender quiet.
This was probably part of his strategy. One has to publicly embarrass themselves to confront him over this, even when he is the one who owed money. He can hide behind the shield of “it’s Aisha’s moment” which the family seems to agree with instead of just apologizing and stating when he might have the money.
Many thought the uncle was out of line
A few thought this could have been handled better
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Definitely wouldn't have wanted to do this in public...but even if it's a relative, put something in writing that you both sign: date, amount, repayment date and collateral if it's not paid. Then sue them if they don't cough up.
Just to make sure you get it notarized. Otherwise it might not stand up in court.
Load More Replies...NTA, if not then, when would be a better time to bring it up? He's just shown the whole family that he can afford to pay you back. If I had been your cousin, I'd have said I can't accept the gift under the circumstances, the money should go to OP. And your family should have had your back, you are too young to be subsidizing someone else's luxury vacations.
Maybe wait until a bit later? Hey uncle now that you are doing well again, can you pay me back?
Load More Replies...I feel like this was an unplanned kneejerk reaction that escalated badly. Uncle AH, OP mini YTA for doubling down. But now it's open and uncle can't b******t his way out of this one.
OP isn't YTA at all. If you have debts, you won't plan a luxy-vacation and announce it proudly, smashing in the face of the person, who lent you money, what you are due to pay. I would have react more badly, as OP did. Uncle is a POS, and grandma can pay the 700 bucks to OP for 1. berating him asking for his money. 2. growing up a nasty piece of shít form-of-life.
Load More Replies...Definitely wouldn't have wanted to do this in public...but even if it's a relative, put something in writing that you both sign: date, amount, repayment date and collateral if it's not paid. Then sue them if they don't cough up.
Just to make sure you get it notarized. Otherwise it might not stand up in court.
Load More Replies...NTA, if not then, when would be a better time to bring it up? He's just shown the whole family that he can afford to pay you back. If I had been your cousin, I'd have said I can't accept the gift under the circumstances, the money should go to OP. And your family should have had your back, you are too young to be subsidizing someone else's luxury vacations.
Maybe wait until a bit later? Hey uncle now that you are doing well again, can you pay me back?
Load More Replies...I feel like this was an unplanned kneejerk reaction that escalated badly. Uncle AH, OP mini YTA for doubling down. But now it's open and uncle can't b******t his way out of this one.
OP isn't YTA at all. If you have debts, you won't plan a luxy-vacation and announce it proudly, smashing in the face of the person, who lent you money, what you are due to pay. I would have react more badly, as OP did. Uncle is a POS, and grandma can pay the 700 bucks to OP for 1. berating him asking for his money. 2. growing up a nasty piece of shít form-of-life.
Load More Replies...
36
26