Not depressed or anything, just not happy all the time and am comfortable not faking it around her.

My dad collapsed yesterday because he couldn't breathe and had a 102°F/38°C fever, confusion, extreme fatigue, severe body aches, and nausea.
He went to the ER and they did a chest x-ray as well as the coronavirus swab test. He has bilateral pneumonia (also called double pneumonia) and his COVID-19 results came back today and he's positive.
Long story short, he's one of those people who thinks the flu is worse, it's a hoax, hates wearing masks but he's obese, smokes, has diabetes, and a type of blood cancer. I love him and I hope he recovers and changes his mindset about this global pandemic.

All my life I have loved to SCUBA dive. Once a month, I go down to South Florida and scuba dive for the weekend with my dive buddy (no partying, just diving). My wife is Taiwanese and loves fresh seafood. She used to give me a hard time about SCUBA diving (she thinks it's stupid) until I suggested I could Spearfish some fresh seafood for her and then her attitude totally changed and was all on board. I do not care to Spearfish. I want to spend that time enjoying the view underwater, not chasing fish. On my way back, I go by a seafood place that has the freshest Seafood in my town and pick her up some very nice fish. I punch a hole in it with a spear before I go home. She loves it and I get to enjoy SCUBA diving. So, I consider it a win-win.
Just to be clear, I usually never go anywhere without her. We have a good marriage. I honestly consider this as a healthy white lie.
This honestly started out as a funny joke. I find it hilarious and one day I will tel her. She has a good sense of humor.

One year in a new city by myself, still no friends, but on the plus side I’ve gained 10 lbs by filling my emptyness with pizza and tacos...lol. Does my coworkers’ confession count for confession bear? I mean at least she’s being honest

Happened three days ago and I’m avoiding work still. A lady came in with super curly, thick hair. Wanted highlights and a pixie with a cute fringe. Showed me a picture. I felt confident because I love working with curls and haircutting is my favorite. Nailed the color. Began working on the cut. Of course her hair freaked out a little. She said, “We are gonna have to cut the sides shorter.” I said “Like boy short?” She said yes and said to use clippers. So I did. I didn’t realize how bad I had screwed the overall cut until I started to try to blend the top with the sides. Then my mouth went dry and my blood ran cold. I didn’t charge her a penny and she couldn’t have been sweeter about it but we both knew I messed up....and bad. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’ve never screwed up this bad even when I was in hair school.

Our mom is rather a quiet person and, aside from keeping in close touch with us, pretty much kept to herself after dad died. Or so we thought.
Anyway, mom and her new ‘partner’ seem to be enjoying their new life together and we are all happy for them.

I'm 31 and live across the country from them so there's not much I can do other than pointlessly remind them of the risks. My parents are in their mid and late sixties and my dad has a lot of health problems. If he gets this his risk would be really high. They are super religious and I can only assume they think Jesus will decide if they get sick or not. Yesterday my mom posted pics on fb of them at my cousins very large, no masks, no social distancing wedding. Oh yeah, I'm mad at my cousins too. This is not even close to the first large event they have gone to since this started. Every time I am massively stressed for the next 2 weeks waiting for them to get sick. Its infuriating and exhausting. Why are people acting so foolish about this?! Nearly a million people are dead. I just dont understand.

So I joined the military to become a medic, which I successfully did last year. When I came back from training, I was immediately put to work in my state to help Covid positive patients in our hospital. But it’s taken its toll on me. Met a lady who purposely tries to take off her oxygen mask because she’s suffering and wants to die. Met a man whose wife died yesterday in the ICU and he died today in our unit. Met a guy who is constantly trying to improve his breathing, wishing his oxygen levels get higher so he can go home to his family, but it doesn’t look good. I honestly sit alone outside the hospital after my shift every night regretting my decision in joining because I realized how weak I am. I realized how hard it is seeing people suffer and die. I hate this virus so much, I hate the state we’ve come to. I just want to become numb to it, but it’s hard.

I’m on a social media site for people trying to stay sober and my gf made several fake accounts to catfish me. After I reported each profile for misuse of the site, she confessed to me. She thought it was funny and couldn’t understand why I was upset.

Sales are down 80% across the board from week prior. After a night of discussion with senior staff we decided only way for company to survive is to temporary close two locations (one inside a Ivy League university that closed other inside a pharmaceutical company that closed.) the third location will be run by me and a few other managers as order ahead delivery only. Hopefully we can make enough to pay rent and controllables. This has been one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced as a business owner. We will also be feeding any staff that come in for free and help with their cobra payments.

I don't post much, but this was something I find it a little hard to discuss with people around me due to the sensitivity of the topic, and I feel like I need to get my thoughts out somewhere. I applied and was accepted before this entire... Whatever it is started. I personally wanted to become a police officer to be an SRO, or student resource officer, so that I could work with kids and hopefully help them not go down a bad path and overall assist in helping them get a better future. I personally was helped by my SRO at my high school, which I credit for my overall improvement since then. I pursued this career because I wanted to help, but I personally am having a lot of doubts about continuing due to current events going on surrounding the police. Half of me thinks I should keep going because the reason behind why I pursued it in the first place is a good reason still, but the other half of me doubts whether or not I would even have the chance with everything going on.

I don’t feel as bad as I think I should. Hopefully I’m just finding peace in the fact that she’s not suffering anymore. She couldn’t even walk to the bathroom without pain. Went to sleep in her chair in the living room last night, because she was too weak to get up (a common occurrence) and never woke up.

I know that's not how it works. I just feel like I've had enough stress and fatigue for several lifetimes already.

I lost my job in June, but the place was run by a Qultist. It was probably for the best, even though I'd just like some stability.

Had neck surgery last week and having a lot of difficult recovering. I hate asking for help. I need to reach out a lot more. My husband’s been above and beyond at my side since I woke up from surgery, but need to make ends meet and he’s been snow plowing on top of his job while trying to take care of me. It’s been snowing the last few days and he’s been so busy. When he comes home he still has to take care of me after, what the heck. He’s doing his best and I can’t thank him enough. Doing all the stupid little things that I ask for, helping me a thousand times until dawn to find the right position to sleep in, setting me up with whatever I need while he’s gone. It’s tough having someone take care of you and not feeling like a huge burden. I just want to be able to take care of myself so he can worry about himself. He’s such a good, good man. Just needed to vent a little to this community, thanks.

Don’t get me wrong I love my son, and he is exactly that. MY son. And luckily he is high functioning. He just has bad days, and sometimes I just hit a wall. I just needed to get this off my chest.

I've always had a relatively rough life.
Dad died when I was 6, very few of his family still remain.
Mum's family are a cliquey and close knit group that I don't fit into.
Mum and I never bonded since she worked to keep the household together.
I've always been bullied everywhere I go, in school, in university, at work. It didn't stop at just name calling (I honestly wish it had just been that), it often got violent.
I have a list of conditions including dyspraxia, ADHD and autism.
Did pretty well in school up until I was 16 then everything began falling apart.
Somehow managed to get an apprenticeship in military engineering when I was 20.
Started suffering in my job because my ADHD still wasn't diagnosed yet, in fact I was told I showed no symptoms despite being told later I should have had a diagnosis years ago.
Got injured in my job and thanks to that and the bullying and my girlfriend at the time cheating on me, my mental health took a dive.
The company just booted me out without a word, settled under the table and by 2017, after 4 years of service, I was destitute.
Mum started drinking around this time.
Honestly I did for a bit too, but I hated how alcohol made me feel and I quit.
She didn't.
It's now 3 years later, my conditions make it nearly impossible to get a job, my work ethic is pathetic thanks to my mental handicaps which I haven't gotten medication for or that what I do get doesn't work, mum lost her job thanks to her drinking problem, she yells and screams at me all the time, has assaulted me before but the police don't care (I'm a man so clearly I started it), I don't get any peace, any sleep, any respite and I'm coming closer and closer to the edge.
I can't afford to leave and get my own place, my benefits barely give enough to survive. I've been trying for all these three years to get a job and not just be a leech on the walfare system but haven't even got to the interview stage.
I once had counseling but they have since abandoned me telling me there's nothing they can do for me anymore, it's another person causing my stress and if she doesn't ask for help, they can't force it on her.
there seemed like hope for a while whenever the chance for her to go into detox (basically rehab) but despite the fact I'm in the UK where we have an NHS, there's a chance we'll have to pay for it. They won't even tell me how much it would cost and there's no way we have the money for it.
I've had to call an ambulance for her several times to the point where they don't bother turning up for hours now because she always snaps at them.
I've tried ringing the mental health crisis line in this country, but gave up after being in a queue for an hour with no pickup, every time.
I have a few online friends thanks to D&D but I don't want to trouble them anymore, they've been there when I had a breakdown before but I just make them depressed with me, that's not right.
my breakdowns have been becoming more frequent lately but my last one, I didn't cry, I simply went neutral, lost the ability to feel anything, I felt like a robot, started getting dizzy and sick and there's a period of a couple of hours I don't remember.
I think I'm snapping, ending it all just looks so tempting and it's getting harder to justify not just calling it quits. I'm not contributing anything to society, I'm not going anywhere and I'm a drain on taxpayer money, what's the point of me even being here?
Nothing is going anywhere and I can't find any answers.

I suppose the biggest thing is that he voices appreciation for my love and loyalty and cares enough to reciprocate them. In the very least, not abuse them.
Any time I mention feeling this way to other people in relationships I seem to get a "reality check" in some way shape or form about how I should empower and assert myself more, and look out for manipulative/abusive behavior, etc. etc.
Am I the only devoted spouse out here who is empowered by empowering and idolizing her spouse? Feels like it's a sin nowadays.

Pretty low mental health day and wrote this note earlier. Some days things are hard, and that’s okay too, just part of the process

Figured I’d post it here, in case it could help someone who may feel similar to feel less alone

And check in with your people, including the strong ones

I was scanning the front page & someone had posted about the 13yr old boy with Autism who was shot in the US. I instantly remembered back to a shooting by police here in Canada earlier this year where a young man was killed while raging after a seizure. If you have kids with epilepsy, it's not a good search to make. I'm far from the only parent with a raging child. It's quite common between the seizure activity and the meds (& believe me, we've tried everything & are in the process of coming off Keppra completely just in case). But while I stay up most nights watching to make sure he's still breathing (insert obligatory #SUDEP awareness here) now I'm starting to worry about our future too. Ive ready stories from other moms where their teens or adult children have broken their bones or worse.. I don't want to end up like them.
I just want my sweet, kind, gentle baby boy back. And for police to stop treating mental health or other medical emergencies as threats that need neutralized.

So my Mum died last week, and while it was a bit of a shock I don’t really care.

She left me and my sister when I was 7, and left my Dad working a 65 hour week just to keep us fed and with a roof over our head, to basically start a 25 year self destruction.

She has been an alcoholic for most of those years, and I have tried to help. I put her through a 16 week rehab program only for her to go on a bender her first day out and accuse me of imprisoning her.

She wasted her life, a smart, funny woman who could make friends with anyone, thrown away for reasons unknown. She left my Dad with unanswered questions which will now never be answered.

Everyone keeps telling me how cut up I must be and how sad it all is, but I don’t feel that, I’m angry at her for what she has done and how she has done it. My only concern is my Nan of 96 who has lost her youngest daughter, and sorting out the mess she left behind to see if I have any inheritance left.

Don't get me wrong, I love them all the same and give them everything I can. They're just more frequently unpleasant than her first kid. I'm hoping it's just because she's a bit older and more mature, because it feels wrong and unnatural to think this way. I'm just trying my best not to give favor to any one of them, or failing that, not make it obvious.

I'm not that girl that would get hit on in a party, I'm not very pretty or anything, and I'm a lot to handle, I'm loud and awkward and I accidentally say the dumbest things when I'm feeling uncomfortable.
I hate it that I don't let myself feel anything because of the fear of getting hurt, I feel like I dont deserve to be loved by anyone.
I have many friends who I love, and when I'm not in a dark place I know they love me back.
So why can't I believe that someone can love me romantically? Why can't I believe that someone have a crush on me?

I have everything I could ever want. I have my doctorate, I am happily married, I have a job I love that pays well. I have a load of cars, a motorbike, a cute cat. Everything is amazing in my life.
I'd trade it all away to be a metal guitarist again. I miss playing guitar, but the pursuit of a chemistry degree and getting my PhD in medicinal chemistry meant that I had to put music way down the list of my priorities... And I really regret it.
I used to be really good. I was an average shredder, nothing creative but I had chops. I picked up my guitar for the first time in 6 years and I suck now. My only regret in life was taking the safe option and using chemistry as a back up. I wonder where I would be if I just threw myself at music when I was younger.

I feel like a caricature of That Dude. Always cracking a joke or smiling, outwardly buoyant, acting like life’s good. But it’s tiring to always act like that. Problem is, without that show, I don’t know who the heck I am. I’m single, live with my parents, have a few friends, and (quite frankly) feel alone. I was the “easy one” growing up. Very low-maintenance and such. And it feels like I’m a burden when I think of reaching out and asking for help of any sort. I also have a feeling that I “don’t rate” to feel these things because I’m a reservist who never deployed while guys that came before me lost limbs, friends, and lives in the Middle East. I have all my parts and friends, so what have I done to earn the right to feel like crap?

The sides didn't fully expand (bed-in-a-box) after 3 days, made it feel like sleeping on a slight incline for the first few minutes every night. After it warms to you, you sink in enough to not notice. When i took the cover off, it seems like there are seams glued in that give it a slightly undersized edge to hold the foam layers in place. I feel kind of bad, but I also feel like it's on them since I was ready to bring the thing back myself.

I would never treat anyone with less respect than anyone else, I just think they look smelly and gross. If you have dreadlocks could you please tell me about them? I’d like to learn more.

A person saying the same sentence three times in the space of 2 minutes left me irrationally angry. I smashed a carrot on the kitchen bench and yelled "shut up". I can barely remember how I reacted. I felt outside of myself. I hate the idea of being irrational because I value control. I don't know if Misophonia has been medically recognised yet but having a label for something always helps.

I am more and more thankful for my wife every day. We have counselled at least 30+ couples over the years on everything from finances, love making, child rasing, and communication. But seeing the abuse some people go through, the feeling like they are living someone else's life and some straight up assholes. I can tell you from seeing both sides of many stories some times it is just better to stop the pain and move on. This goes for both of you. My wife has done nothing in our marriage but encourage me to live my story and I do the same for her. No one owns you period. Don't try to change someone because people are who they choose to be. If your partner does not want to be better for themselves they will never be better for you. Move on and find out how to love yourself, then you will have what is needed to love someone else.

Not corona. My partner lives in another country completely locked down, and I could afford the travel if I could actually get there.

He was suffering alot, liver and kidney failure with no medical options. He was also a big part of finance issues in the family due to his control.

It feels callous to say, but he caused alot of issues and was a right piece if work in the past, but atleast now he's not suffering.

I like my job and my private life but going on and off is frustrating. Some of the periods at home have been enjoyable and productive, some of them I'd rather forget. I know my coworkers are about to break down and would do anything to be able to slow down or have some days off. But this isn't my fault even if they seem to think so. The only way to remain my own peace of mind is to mind my own business. In fact, after I hit my head that's been the only thing I've even been able to do for a while. Just sitting outdoors and doing nothing feels even more pleasant when you actually are unable to do anything else because your brain can only handle so much. And I'm getting a little lazy, but don't tell anyone

I had plenty of opportunities in high school/college to try weed. Being the “good kid” I always turned them down. I was the person people called to come get them from parties because they were high/drunk. I don’t regret being the sober one who made sure people made it home. Now with my chronic pain (thanks Ehlers Danlos) and anxiety/depression I wonder if it could help. Even though I live in a legal state I can’t try it because of my job. When you drive heavy machinery every day it’s not worth the risk.

And I liked her for as long as I've known her both as a friend and romantically. I can't really say I would've tolerated it if she had cheated with me. Though I'm sure as hell I won't forget.

Sorry for the vent. Carried this for almost a year. And since I've cut ties with them, I have no one to tell it to. I also feel bad and blame myself for some reason..

I've been a drinker for a long time with several unsuccessful attempts to stop. I'm not trying to make an excuse, but there's some pretty heavy mental health issues in my brain too that can't be treated cause of shit insurance.

In the last three months or so, rather than use my own money to buy things like groceries and such, I've used my family's Amazon account to deliver them. This then proceeded into a "I have an urge to buy this, so I will" on things I don't actually need. Then I could use the money I made for alcohol.

I'm done now. I was caught. But even before being caught I was finished. I just feel sick to my stomach about myself. I can't believe I've turned into this person.

I wish I could afford rehab or some psych facility cause there's gotta be something wired wrong in my brain. I knew it was wrong and I felt wrong doing it...so why did I.

I don't even know if there's advice to give. I don't know what I'm looking for. Maybe just something to end the numbness I feel. Maybe I just want a bunch of people to tell at me because that's what I deserve.

Basically, I have my teaching degree but I’m not good at classroom management. I failed student teaching so I decided to sub to get more experience. Well after I started subbing I now am getting called into the administration building for a meeting after an incident occurred. I feel like I want to teach still. I have student loans to pay back still for it.