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Many years ago, the great Dutch philosopher Erasmus of Rotterdam wrote his famous treatise called "The Praise of Stupidity". A lot of time has passed since then, and people continue to do incredibly stupid things and, moreover, willingly talk about how they did them, and how they felt doing them.

On the other hand, if a person realizes that what they once did was really stupid, this means at least they have realized their own mistake and will try not to make it in the future. Well, or at least they will do new silly things... But then, many years later, there will be something to remember and tell friends and relatives about!

There is an incredible thread in the AskReddit community whose topic starter asked just one question many years ago: "What is the stupidest thing you've done?" The result was around 17.2K upvotes, over 16.3K different comments - and such deposits of human stupidity of various levels that Erasmus of Rotterdam, if he had read this thread, would have continued his treatise in at least three more new books.

But the great philosopher died in 1536, and we at Bored Panda are here, alive and well, and have collected for you a selection of the best comments from this epic thread. So now feel free to scroll to the very end, enjoy these amazing examples of stupid deeds - and please solemnly swear not to do them like the authors!

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#1

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I woke up one night. Saw a hand on my pillow. Started to freak out, froze. Waited. Decided I'd move. Screamed and jumped when the hand moved.

It was my hand.

Empty_Allocution , Art Prof Report

Final score:
276points
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CookieCrump
CookieCrump
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah yes, the human hand, the most terrifying thing to see when you haven't fully woken up.

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#2

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Let's see, where to start.

I once killed a pint of vodka, straight, on a dare. Spent the rest of the night ralphing.

I fell for a prank of laying a stick across a shovel handle and then stomping the shovel spade to see how high the stick would go.

I had my windshield tinted to 5% on my car.

I sent a Nairobi prince some cash so I'd get a big return. I really did.

I voted for Ross Perot in '92.

I volunteered for several things in boot camp without knowing what they were.

I rear ended a cop car. During the questioning, I got the involuntary giggles and when the cop asked if I thought it was funny, I said "Yes."

In little league, I chased a ball under the bleachers from the back side. Imagine running fast as the bleacher seats get lower and lower. Cracked my head open.

Hit on a starting linebacker's girlfriend at a frat party. I even knew it was his girlfriend.

Noticed my "low oil pressure" light on in the car; decided I could make it to the next exit 10 miles away.

Took bowling as a HYPERS class in college. Cheated on the final exam and got caught.

Decided to jump in the water to p**s; left the boat in gear.

Spent a half hour trying to pick up a quarter someone had super glued to a sidewalk.

I'm really not as dumb as all this sounds. I'm just...impulsive.

No-Mas-Pantalones , Quinn Dombrowski Report

Final score:
240points
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Nathaniel
Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a bridge I am selling cheap if your are interested?

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#3

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Late for work, running around the house looking for my keys. Ran upstairs, saw them on the desk, pointed at them and said to the air, "There they are." I was nearly to the front door before I realized I didn't actually pick them up.

joshuastronomy , Jessica Paterson Report

Final score:
228points
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LH25
LH25
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least you didn't leave and find yourself locked out. Yes, speaking from experience...

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#4

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group The girl of my dreams came back to my place after dinner and drinks, we had been friends for a long time but never a hint of anything more.

I was in a sleeping bag, on the floor. She told me "Hey, you can jump up under the quilt to get warm" and my response was "Oh, this sleeping bag is really warm!"

It wasn't until the next day that I realized what I had done.

...Wow. Thinking about this makes me really depressed :(

anon , Barry Silver Report

Final score:
194points
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sofacushionfort
sofacushionfort
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just perhaps consider: your feelings were emotional but her’s just recreational. You’d be in for a bigger letdown when the sex didn’t lead to any sort of romantic bond. Just my opinion: turning down sex does not compromise one’s masculinity

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#5

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I once started talking s**t about a friend who I'd forgotten we had just picked up and was sitting in the backseat of the car. This one still keeps me up at night.

Mutt1223 , Dennis Yang Report

Final score:
181points
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#6

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group One of my ex's and I met in the city. We always went on dates in the city and never close to where we lived. I had just moved to the area, I had heard of the place he lived in but didn't think it was close to where I lived, and never really thought about it. Then I started staying over at his place, and when I was going home the following afternoons I would take the tram into city centre (~20 minutes) and then get the bus to my house (another ~40 minutes). I honestly thought the village he lived in was far from my house so I took the route I knew. Turns out he lives a 10 minute walk away. I did this like 8 times.

yikesididitagain , Mussi KatzFollow Report

Final score:
178points
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Wondering Alice
Wondering Alice
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years ago I took over my sister's tutoring round when she was heavily pregnant. She had built it up over years, it was not even my home country so despite her carefully planned bus list, I kept getting disoriented. So I spent a day with a days bus pass and a lot of walking to get it straight in my head. Turned out, she had spent on average 2 hours a day extra connecting busses solved with a 1minute walk to a parallel street. Couldn't see that from the bus.

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#7

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I stapled my finger to see if stapling my finger was possible. can confirm, it is.

nourryburrito , Eric E Castro Report

Final score:
176points
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Nathaniel
Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who saw the red stapler and immediately thought "Office Space!"? Raise your hand.

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#8

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Opened up a carton of orange juice and noticed it said shake well before use. Proceeded to violently shake the holy hell out of the carton as it rained vitamin C goodness over the kitchen and me. Housemate walked in and asked "what the f**k is wrong with you?" as if I'd done it on purpose and was thorougly enjoying my OJ shower

Lridm , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:
176points
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#9

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I work as a substitute middle school teacher. At the beginning of each day the kids listen to the announcements. One time they announced that one of the students who had been battling cancer passed away the night before.

So me, being the great guy I am, give the students five minutes of time to sit quietly and reflect. Then I decide to lighten the mood by calling attendance, so I use a bizarre inflection to entertain the students.

Called out "Tyler?", no response. Call it out again, no response. Finally one student piped up and said that was the kid that died the day before.

This was after I called his name out several times with differing tones of voice to be comical, while all the students saw was me bashing the dead kid. F**k.

iKNOWpeoples , vickysandoval22 Report

Final score:
174points
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Wondering Alice
Wondering Alice
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember when a kid in my year lost his battle when I was 15. Substitute teacher walked in to our silent maths lesson with a breezy "looks like someone died here". We all silently got up and left. Took me a while to realise school not supply was at fault for that.

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#10

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Barber while cutting my hair asks ''what do you do for a living?". I replied "I'm an accountant. You?"

anon , IFA teched Report

Final score:
170points
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#11

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group One time I went through the drive thru at Dunkin donuts and stopped at the trash can instead of the speaker for about 5-8 minutes repeatedly saying "hello?"

Johngdetti , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:
166points
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#12

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I asked my friend if he had got his car back from the garage while we were sitting in it...I am not a smart man.

MGutty94 , Carlos Ebert Report

Final score:
159points
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#13

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Back to girls house after dinner. She has early class the next day so gets ready for bed, but says I can stay and keep her company for a while.

Laying in her bed, she's in silk pajamas, I'm fully clothed. We're just talking. I start running my hand up and down her back. She says "mmmm.... you'd better stop that, I'm getting turned on"

So I stopped.

Like a F*****g idiot.

rayzerdayzhan , I am R. Report

Final score:
158points
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Malina1606
Malina1606
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually I think if your first impulse was to stop after she kinda told you to stop it makes you quite a decent person. Misunderstandings can be discussed or hopefully laughed off in a case like this but us girls are usually happy about our NO or STOP being respected.

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#14

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I put an umbrella handle in my mouth and pushed the button to release the umbrella.

I thought the umbrella would shoot out the front of my mouth and open. Instead the handle extended back into my mouth and broke my front teeth.

No idea why I thought that.

pentarou , Kandukuru Nagarjun Report

Final score:
157points
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Deborah Harris
Deborah Harris
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I did that once too and almost broke my nose, I had loads of bags and it started to rain ... meh

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#15

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Called my girlfriend a "big girl" for finishing her dinner.

Jenkins92 , Ella Olsson Report

Final score:
157points
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#16

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Not me, but a friend of mine was dead serious and asked why don't wheelchairs have pedals for when your arms get tired.

5up7 , Joshua Zader Report

Final score:
143points
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ThreeAngryLlamas
ThreeAngryLlamas
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, my arms work and my legs work. I have serious back problems, which is why I use a chair. I would LOVE pedals.

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#17

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Friend came to my house. Knocked on my door. When I answered it I was greeted with "Hey are you home?"

anon , Kleverveer Report

Final score:
132points
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#18

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Unable to find my phone, in a complete state of panic, sending my friend a text asking

"Dude, did I leave my phone at your place? I can't find it anywhere!".

He replied "... what are you using to send this text, genius?"

I have never, in my life, been so ashamed.


*EDIT :* To clarify, this was quite a few years ago, before smartphones and Google Voice. We're talking some of the first color-screen Nokias here.

CreepyPancakes , Teresa Boardman Report

Final score:
130points
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Jossh Nine
Jossh Nine
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not to be rude, but I don't think the model of phone you were using comes in to play here haha

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#19

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I was riding my bike and wondered what would happen if I stuck my feet in the spokes of my front tire.

Answer: Flipped over the handle bars, broke my two front teeth and road rash on half my face.

jingle_hore , Infidelic Report

Final score:
128points
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Bubbles and sparks
Bubbles and sparks
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You got a different outcome.... my friends daughter got two broken wrists out of her try ;P

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#20

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group When I was younger I got kicked out of ballet class because I kept running into the mirrors thinking they were open windows or like portals to another world or something.

JuniperLeaf , Flavio~ Report

Final score:
114points
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#21

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group After a night of drinking, we went back to my then-boyfriend's place to chill. He turned on the tv, but I had other ideas. I pulled the rolling chair away from his computer desk, placing myself between him & the tv. I turned the chair backward threw my leg over in what I thought was going to be a seductive manner, whipping my hair a little. Ended up putting my foot down on the edge of the wheelie part on the other side, rolled my ankle, and my momentum carried me all the way over to the floor. I hit the ground, the chair back smashed my face, and my nose started bleeding. Not my brightest moment.

Shut_the , Andrew Michael Nathan Report

Final score:
113points
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TheAquarius1978
TheAquarius1978
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lamoooo this reminds me of a sexy sexy story, i have a friend that really loves to tease, She loves the atention, once we went shopping and She bought a lolipop, then we went for a coffe, and wille i was driving She started licking the lolipop in a very very sugestive way, ( does nothing for me só i didn't care ) when i was parking i accidentaly hit a very low pole on the parking lot, and She almost swallow the entire f*****g lolipop stick and all, i never laughed só much in my life, She was really pissed at me though lol

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#22

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Missed the school bus and potential rides to school one morning because I couldn't find my backpack, eventually realized it was on my back.

tmntnut , Ivan Radic Report

Final score:
112points
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TheAquarius1978
TheAquarius1978
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol amateur i once spent 15 minutes looking for my car ant it was right Next to me lol ( i had a white car, changed the color to black, went to a Supermarket, then spent 15 minutes looking for the car, i was about to call the police to report a theft, when i look at my brother leanning in to a black car, and he asked me " are you opening the car you moron, or AM i waiting here the rest of the day "

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#23

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I like to think I am not stupid, but I have one memory gap that leads people to believe I am dumb as soup.

I cant f*****g recall right and left off the top of my head!

It is so f*****g frustrating!

iwannabefreddieHg , Jeremy Segrott Report

Final score:
110points
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Nathaniel
Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Look at the back of your hands. Stick your thumbs out. The hand that is L shaped, that is your left. Someone explained this to me as to how they learned left from right.

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#24

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group Last weekend my friend asked for a ride across town since he left his phone at a bar the previous night. Somehow I heard "car" instead of "phone" so dropped him off and drove home. I don't answer calls while I'm driving since I'm a bad driver too, so didn't realize I missed three of his calls til I got home. I'm sure there's others but my memories going pretty fast as well.

Fiddlesticks2468 , Steven Miller Report

Final score:
109points
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Tharizin 🇺🇦
Tharizin 🇺🇦
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like not answering calls when you’re driving doesn’t classify you as a bad driver

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#25

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group In a spelling bee I spelled the word python:

"pee" "why" "eth" "oh" "en"

I was quickly reminded that "eth" is not a letter, though to this day I think that maybe it should be.

_Scarecrow_ , Jonathan Kriz Report

Final score:
103points
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Ace
Ace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There used to be, the letter thorn (Þ, þ). In Old English and many other languages, was gradually replaced by the th in most of them.

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#26

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I asked my wife who was upstairs to drop my phone down to me. As it was falling I thought it would be cool to catch a phone with one finger. It wasn't.

PM_ME_ROBOTS Report

Final score:
99points
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#27

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group "I can probably make this jump". Every. Single. Time.

Rap15t , Enoch Leung Report

Final score:
95points
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#28

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group When my girlfriend asked why I am always late when going to her place, my response was "Im only late for things that aren't important".

pm_me_ur_vajj , David Vega Report

Final score:
94points
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#29

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I turned left onto a one way street (where I should've went right), not SO bad until I panicked and then did U-Turn around the median onto yet another one way street... still going the wrong way.
Enter my first (and only) car accident.

amy1651 , Daniel X. O'Neil Report

Final score:
81points
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Khavrinen
Khavrinen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Once coming off the freeway in an unfamiliar part of Seattle, we got to the stop-light at the end of the off-ramp and there was a "One Way" sign that had been knocked askew and was pointing at a weird angle. We weren't sure if it was referring to the cross street we were planning on turning onto, or the street directly opposite us, and there weren't any other cars on the street at the time to give us a clue. When the light changed, my Dad decided to turn left into the closest lane, and only realized he had guessed wrong when we noticed that this was one of those streets that didn't just have a yellow line in the middle to divide the two directions of travel, but an actual curb -- and we were on the wrong side of it. Then, in moving over so he could quickly cross to the right side at the next intersection, he checked his mirror and started laughing -- because four other cars had *followed* us down the wrong lane. Luckily, there was no oncoming traffic at the time.

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#30

30 Times People Did Something So Stupid That It Surprised Even Themselves, As Shared In This Online Group I drilled into the side of my thigh with a 10mm drill bit while drilling holes through the bottom of one of my girlfriends flower pots.
Edit: This was just a few seconds after it happened before it started bleeding. The bruising is from my skin wrapping around the drill and pulling away from my flesh.
http://i.imgur.com/0FlQCAV.jpg

Sy27 , Alan Levine Report

Final score:
77points
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