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Think your computer, laptop, or phone spying on you is scary? Think again because your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years! HA. It’s so lame, yet so bloody brilliant. Suppose you enjoy this kind of humor; the Greatest of All Webs has blessed (or cursed) you to land on this page. Okay, let’s be honest here. It wasn’t the web or the Google algorithm. It was all you. There is no point in going to your search history and deleting it. We know it. You like geek jokes, computer puns, and all things tech. Well, buddy, so do we, so your secret is safe with us and preserved in a secure ZIP folder.

A rather niche topic, isn't it? But it’s amusing and enjoyable nonetheless. And although some IT jokes might require more knowledge than what you were taught in computer science class, you don't need to be Bill Gates or a tech junkie to enjoy a good collection of IT jokes. And you know what the best part is? There are ample computer jokes on the web that will crack you up with no hacking tools required.

To simplify life, we have gathered all the funny programmer jokes and puns about computers into one place for all tech-savvy peeps to enjoy. Prepare to crack a smile, brace yourself for some cringe, and enjoy all the geekiest tech jokes we have assembled below. Did any make you chuckle or facepalm? Let us know!

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    #2

    What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

    I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.

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    LH25
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have had popups say things like "wow, you must be the world's fastest reader" when I just click on that box without reading them.

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    #3

    The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

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    #4

    Set your wifi password to 2444666668888888. So when someone asks for it, tell them it's 12345678.

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    #5

    I’ve got a meeting with the guy that invented the progress bar during the era of dialup internet. He’s going to be here in 2 hours and 13 minutes.

    Edit: Apparently he’s stuck in traffic and he’s going to be here in 6 hours 54 minutes.
    Edit2: He’s making better progress than thought, he will be here in 12 minutes.
    Edit3: Apparently it will now take him 5 days.

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    #6

    Computer joke about SEO expert An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol.

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    #7

    My computer said my password is insecure.

    Well maybe if it wasn’t forced to have such strict requirements it would be more confident.

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    #8

    "Debugging is like being the detective in a crime movie where you’re also the murderer."

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    #9

    What do you call a computer mouse that swears a lot?

    A cursor!

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    #10

    How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. It’s a hardware problem.

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    Watson Bull
    Community Member
    6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Greetings to everyone who gets to read this, I promised I was going to post a review about them & well I have always used Kalfjohnson424 @gmail com for any Private online investigations. Have you ever needed an expert when it comes to hacking? Have you ever wanted to hack someone’s email account? Recover lost accounts, school grades, boost credit score? Do you need to find a person’s sensitive information? Do you want to invade a person’s PayPal, Skrill, Amazon, Facebook, or any other site account? Upgrade of University Grades, Password, and email Retrieval, phone Lines monitoring, Skype Accounts, Hack Social Network, Trace calls on real-time conversations, Remove Criminal Records, Credit Fixing, cyber-crime investigation., Identification of Cheating Partner or employee, Search no more because thehackerspro forensic team is your go to contact Kalfjohnson424 @gmail com.

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    #11

    Computer joke about Bill Gates If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer... Oh wait, he does.

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    #12

    My Internet stopped working for 5 minutes.

    Met my parents. They’re nice people.

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    #13

    If Apple made a car, would it have Windows?

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    #14

    How many symbols do you need to type on a keyboard to make a heart?

    Less than three.

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    #15

    Computer joke about fictional adult I tried to say, "I'm a functional adult," but my phone changed it to "fictional adult," and I feel like that's more accurate.

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    #16

    An Apple store near where I live got robbed.

    $25k worth of merchandise was stolen. The police said that they will get both computers back.

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    #17

    There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

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    #18

    Computer joke about the inventor of USB drive When the person who invented the USB drive dies they’ll lower his coffin into the grave, realize they put it in the wrong way and have to do it again.

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    #19

    What chemical is released in your brain when you see something funny on the internet?

    Dopameme.

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    #20

    Why are iPhone chargers not called Apple Juice?!

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    #21

    Why do Java developers wear glasses?

    Because they can’t C#.

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    Jack
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ahhhh, the year I graduated college. They went from C+ to Java for curriculum and tried to tell me that I was missing a programming class. I had to fight that one. 🤦‍♀️

    #22

    Saw “IT” last night…

    Far less “computer networking” and so much more “murderous clowning” than anticipated.

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    What Are Some One-Liners About Technology?

    Technology goes along with our lives daily in this day and age. We might try to escape it, but only at the cost of comfort for ourselves. And if we can’t escape it, the best we can do is to make fun of it! After all, only IT humor can distract us from the inevitable uprising of our blenders and microwaves. Here are some of those jokes:

    • “What made the Java developers wear glasses? They can't C”.
    • “Why did the developer become so poor? Because he cleared his cache.”
    • “What shoes do computers love the most? Re-boots!”
    • “What was the spider doing on the computer? He was making a web-site!”
    • “What kind of computer sings the best? A Dell.”
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    Better keep this at hand, as while these tech jokes might not be a way to put bread on the table, they might get you extra time to run once the Terminator comes knocking for funny programming jokes.

    #23

    Computer joke about password I changed my password to "incorrect". So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".

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    #24

    Do you know the keyboard shortcut to help you not have to go the bathroom when you’re working or playing PC games?

    Ctrl P.

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    #26

    I joined a support group for former computer hackers.

    Anonymous Anonymous.

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    #27

    Computer joke about autocorrect and Satan Thanks to autocorrect, 1 in 5 children will be getting a visit from Satan this Christmas.

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    #28

    What does Steve Jobs like to order from McDonald's?

    A big Mac.

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    #29

    If the Internet had a boat, where would they park it?

    In Google Docs.

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    #30

    If you think that your computer, laptop, and phone spying on you is scary then think again,

    Because your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.

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    #31

    How can you tell when the NSA is monitoring your computer?

    The power is on and you’re connected to the internet.

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    #32

    I dropped my laptop on the ground, and it broke!

    I guess it didn’t have much HP.

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    #33

    Computer joke about internet at the farm I was having trouble with my internet at the farm, so I moved the modem to the barn.

    Now I have stable wifi.

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    #34

    PATIENT: Doctor, I need your help. I'm addicted to checking my Twitter!

    DOCTOR: I'm so sorry, I don't follow.

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    #36

    "When I die, I want my tombstone to be a WiFi hotspot...

    ...that way people visit more often."

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    #37

    My internet router is in my basement.

    You could say that I come from a LAN down under.

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    #38

    Computer joke about USA and backups Where does the USA keep its backups?

    USB.

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    #39

    Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

    Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

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    #40

    "Whoever said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results has obviously never had to reboot a computer." — William Petersen

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    #41

    Have you heard of that new band "1023 Megabytes"?

    They're pretty good, but they don't have a gig just yet.

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    #42

    Computer joke about computer being drunk How does a computer get drunk?

    It takes screen shots.

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    #43

    A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

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    Rob Eman
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then every connection just gets cross about the union... So just drop it before the next Epoch! /* %-) */

    #44

    I'd love to give the man who invented Incognito mode a cookie.

    Sadly it was erased.

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    #45

    Where are dead computer hackers buried?

    In decrypt.

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    #46

    Why was the JavaScript developer sad?

    Because he didn’t Node how to Express himself.

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    #47

    Somebody stole my new Microsoft Office last week and they are going to pay!

    You have my Word!

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    #48

    How does a computer science major pick up girls?

    ...whoops, I thought this was Google.

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    #49

    Computer joke about dark theme and bugs Why do most programmers use a dark theme while coding?

    Because light attracts bugs.

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    #50

    My laptop is missing a key. I lost ctrl.

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    #51

    I get anxious whenever I have to use the default Microsoft web browser.

    Using Chrome helps take the Edge off.

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    #52

    How do two programmers make money?

    One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.

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    #53

    If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.

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    #54

    Computer joke about 127.0.0.1 There's no place like 127.0.0.1

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    #55

    Why did the PowerPoint Presentation cross the road?

    To get to the other slide.

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    #56

    What happened when the computer geeks met?

    It was love at first site.

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    #57

    What is an alien’s favorite place on a computer?

    The space bar.

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    #58

    Why doesn’t the elephant use the computer?

    It was afraid of the mouse.

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    #59

    Computer joke about the best way to learn computer What’s the best way to learn about computers?

    Bit by bit.

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    #60

    My boss calls me “The computer”.

    Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.

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    Candace Craig
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

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    #61

    What’s it called when it takes you a while to find RAM for your computer?

    Short-term memory loss.

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    #62

    Why did the software developer go broke?

    Because he used up all his cache.

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    #63

    Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

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    #64

    Computer joke about. mouse for PC Finding the perfect mouse for your PC sounds like a hard thing to do, but once your hand gets comfortable using a mouse, it just clicks.

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    #65

    Why shouldn’t doctors prescribe antibiotics to cure sick computers?

    Because antibiotics have no effect on viruses.

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    #66

    If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

    The rest of them will all write Perl programs.

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    #67

    After a life of cybercrime, how did the hacker get to heaven?

    The password hadn’t been changed in 2000 years.

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    #68

    Computer joke about keyboard factory I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

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    #69

    Person 1: Do you know how to use Outlook?
    Person 2: As a matter of fact, I Excel at it.
    Person 1: Was that a Microsoft Office pun?
    Person 2: Word.

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    #70

    What’s a computer geek’s favorite snack?

    Microchips.

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    #71

    Why couldn’t the computer take its hat off?

    Because it had its CAPS LOCK on.

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    #72

    A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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    #73

    Why does Task Manager use the phrase "Kill the Application"?

    Because they are all executable!

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    #74

    Computer joke about x89 having a lot of instructions Why does x86 have so many instructions?

    Because having too few would be too RISC-y.

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    #75

    Why did the functions stop calling each other?

    Because they had constant arguments.

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    #76

    Why do app developer’s have such high insurance rates?

    They’re always crashing.

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    #77

    If two video game developers date each other... Is it a Unity or Unreal?

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    #78

    What is it called when computer programmers taunt and make fun of each other on social media?

    It is called cyber boolean!

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    #79

    Computer joke about clean house and broken computer A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

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    #80

    Writing a horror screenplay. It starts off with a ringing phone. The person answers, and it's their mum saying "I have a computer question."

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    #81

    Why is the computer keyboard working so hard?

    Because it has two shifts!

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    #82

    What do you tell a hacker after a bad breakup?

    There is plenty of phish in the sea!

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    #83

    Did you hear about the computer that kept rebooting?

    It was terminal.

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    #84

    Computer joke about database administrator Why did the database administrator slice a tree stump in half?

    He needed a binary log.

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    #85

    Why do sharks eat underwater internet cables?

    They were advised to have more fiber in their diet.

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    #86

    What do you get when you cross a dog and a computer?

    A machine that has a bark worse than its byte.

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    #87

    I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.

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    #88

    Why are laptops like air conditioning units? They stop working properly when you open too many windows.

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    #89

    Computer joke about naughty disk driver As for punishment, where naughty disk drives are sent?

    They are always sent to a Boot camp!

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    #90

    What's the second movie about a database engineer called?

    The SQL.

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    #91

    I don't understand how IT people don't end up in hospitals frequently. They are always touching the firewalls, aren't they?

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    #92

    Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?

    They were Prime mates.

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    #93

    Don't use "beef stew" as a computer password. It's not stroganoff.

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    #94

    Computer joke about Nintendo game ending in a tie What should you do after your Nintendo game ends in a tie?

    Ask for a Wii-match!

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    #96

    Where do computers keep their money?

    In a data bank.

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    #97

    A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.

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    #98

    How do you know you are using Linux?

    Your computer only has 4 modes: Abort, Retry, Fail and Reboot!

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    #99

    Computer joke about 127.0.0.1 How does a network administrator nerd greet people who come to his house?

    Welcome to 127.0.0.1

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    #100

    How do computer programmers make extra money in the summer?

    They take on part-time jobs helping campers get rid of bugs!

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    #101

    What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around?

    Dead Siri-ous.

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    #102

    Today I made my first money as a programmer.

    I sold my laptop.

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    #103

    What does a baby computer call his father?

    Data.

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    #104

    Computer joke about changing DNS server settings My mother asked if I could change the DNS server settings. I told her ICANN.

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    #105

    What's the first symptom of a computer is getting old?

    Memory problems.

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    #106

    I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”

    Boss: Hard drive?

    Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

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    #107

    My computer suddenly started belting out "Someone Like You." It's a Dell.

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    #108

    Why did the computer cross the road?

    To get a byte to eat.

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    #109

    Computer joke about computer getting glasses Why did the computer get glasses?

    To improve its websight.

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    #110

    Why did the computer sneeze?

    It had a virus.

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    #111

    What type of a computer does a horse like to eat?

    A Macintosh.

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    #112

    What did the computer do at lunchtime?

    Had a byte.

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    #113

    Computer joke about Wi-Fi and the computer getting married Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?

    Because they had a connection.

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    #114

    These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
    The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”
    “Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

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    Rob Eman
    Community Member
    2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A tail of two strings' theories. Nothing to see here... Move along!

    #115

    How did the boy break the school computer?

    His PE teacher told him to kick the ball in the net.

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    #116

    How do you stop an Internet troll?

    Seize their memes of production.

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    #117

    Where do computers go to dance?

    The disk-O.

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    #118

    Computer joke about CS I have a CS joke, but it doesn’t compute.

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    #119

    What computer language do Spanish programmers use to make jokes for people?

    Ja-Ja-java script!

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    #120

    What’s a programmer’s least favorite Pixar movie?

    A Bug’s Life.

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    #121

    How would a computer describe a small piece of cotton?

    Micro soft.

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    #122

    You can really get your parents fooled by pretending their smart phone screen or yours has been cracked. You can download images or even find online apps that will make...

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    #123

    Computer joke about computer showing up at work late Why did the computer show up at work late?

    It had a hard drive.

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    #124

    What do you call a computer superhero?

    A Screen Saver.

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    #125

    What do you get if you cross a computer with an elephant?

    Lots of Memory.

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    #126

    Why was the computer so angry?

    Because it had a chip on its shoulder.

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    #127

    Where do computers go to dance?

    The disk-o.

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    #128

    Computer joke about the computer squeak Why did the computer squeak?

    Because someone stepped on its mouse.

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    #129

    Why couldn’t the dinosaur play games on the computer?

    Because he ate the mouse.

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    #130

    Why can you never trust spiders?

    Because they post stuff on the web.

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    #131

    How are elephants and computers similar?

    They both have large memories.

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    #132

    Why can’t computers play tennis?

    They try to surf the net.

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    #133

    Computer joke about mommy and baby spiders What did mommy spider say to baby spider?

    You spend too much time on the web.

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    #134

    Why did the cat sit on the computer?

    To keep an eye on the mouse.

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    #135

    Why did the spider take a laptop to the beach?

    So it could surf the web.

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    #136

    What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?

    “Stop it! It hertz so much!”

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