IT guy. The whole "have you tried turning it off and on again" thing isn't just us being lazy.

Like 70% of all problems genuinely get fixed by a restart, but we can't just say that because management thinks "real IT work" needs to look more complicated. So we remote in, click around a bit, maybe run a basic diagnostic, then... restart your computer.

That fancy touchscreen thermostat we installed in your office is just a screen you are changing the number on. The logic controller we installed in your heating/ac unit uses a different sensor and is predetermined what temperatures it is set at.

If your 2 year old doesn’t want to paint because they’d rather do something else, we can’t force them. If you keep complaining and being nasty because you want fridge art, we will do your child’s art and put their name in it so you can stop complaining.

I’m your IT guy. I just google everything. I’m just good at googling.

I was a server at a chain barbecue restaurant. Yummy food, & they played blues all day. The secret was what they put in the potato salad that was so good… celery seeds. When I was first hired & doing training, they told us we would lose our jobs if we told anyone. It’s been > 25 yrs, I think I’m safe to blow the secret. 😂.