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Two_rolling_black_eyes

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Two_rolling_black_eyes

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1 posts

4.5K comments

7.5K upvotes

27.4K points

Learned comic timing from Rocket Raccoon but Tian Tian hates my jokes. Applying to be on the Masked Singer but I still need voice lessons.

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Two_rolling_black_eyes • commented on a post 2 days ago

These 30 Companies Screwed Around, Found Out, And Lost Customers Forever

if this was recent, Tesla is #1.

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted an item 2 days ago

These 30 Companies Screwed Around, Found Out, And Lost Customers Forever

BP sure does love regurgitating 5 year old Reddit threads

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted an item 4 days ago

31 Things That Look Awesome In Movies But Are Terrible In Real Life

But of course it is! If you want to dance in the rain, pouring rain is the best

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted 6 items 1 week ago

Woman Confused Why Her Mom Doesn’t Help With Kids, Tackles Modern Grandparenting Double Standards

You are supposed to allow them to see him and spend time with him, NOT expect them to babysit/watch him. As in, you're supposed to be present and caring for his needs.

Woman Confused Why Her Mom Doesn’t Help With Kids, Tackles Modern Grandparenting Double Standards

I agree with the notion that having family (and hopefully community) support makes raising kids easier and more enriching for the children. However, I am also on board with the basic concept of not breeding outside your means. If you MUST rely on others to raise a child, then you're not ready to start breeding, and shouldn't do so. To make tiny humans and then complain about feeling entitled to free childcare is wholly selfish and immature.

Woman Confused Why Her Mom Doesn’t Help With Kids, Tackles Modern Grandparenting Double Standards

You are supposed to allow them to see him and spend time with him, NOT expect them to babysit/watch him. As in, you're supposed to be present and caring for his needs.

Woman Confused Why Her Mom Doesn’t Help With Kids, Tackles Modern Grandparenting Double Standards

So you think your mother and stepfather should be obligated to spend time with/watch your son for "longer than 15 minutes"? Your son is your child, not theirs.

Woman Confused Why Her Mom Doesn’t Help With Kids, Tackles Modern Grandparenting Double Standards

Boomers were the last generation for whom birth control was not always an option, and many of them made it VERY clear how much they didn't want the kids they were ~stuck with ~... Not sure why anyone's surprised they don't want the grandkids either.

Woman Confused Why Her Mom Doesn’t Help With Kids, Tackles Modern Grandparenting Double Standards

A lot will be down to individuals , but there are a lot of trends at play as well. Your grandparents were likely a lot younger than your parents when they were taking on childcare etc. Kids were a lot less supervised. Parents didn't give instructions/make demands in the same way to the grandparents. But also the boomer generation isn't community minded for the most part, that's why we are in the mess of the world we are in. Also many of them had kids due to social pressure and don't enjoy kids when you could yell/smack etc to get them to do what you want. But the main thing I see is how much time the grandparents want to spend with the grandchildren is usually about their relationship with the parents.

"So Cruel": White Lotus' Star Aimee Lou Wood Claps Back At SNL For Making A Mockery Of Her

And then again, if she’s insecure about her teeth, there’s this thing called braces. Personally I feel like if she fixed her teeth, it would be Jennifer Grey’s nose all over again… I like her teeth, makes her stand out.

Show All 6 Upvotes

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted 6 items 2 weeks ago

50 Hilarious Memes From ‘Sarcasm Daily’ To Help You Forget Your Problems For A Bit (New Pics)

Not as bad as, "You want to withdraw all $3?"

30 Random Images That Don’t Need To Make Sense To Be Funny

Mistakes were made

50 Hilarious Memes From ‘Sarcasm Daily’ To Help You Forget Your Problems For A Bit (New Pics)

Not as bad as, "You want to withdraw all $3?"

30 Random Images That Don’t Need To Make Sense To Be Funny

Mistakes were made

Random-Funny-Images-Chortle-Humor

Funny-Today-Years-Old-Memes

Show All 6 Upvotes

Two_rolling_black_eyes • commented on 4 posts 2 weeks ago

40 Memes That Might Only Make You Laugh If You’re In Medicine—Through Tears, Of Course

both should be free.

30 Random Images That Don’t Need To Make Sense To Be Funny

Parkinson's patients are a fall risk. Most of the d***s to treat it also cause constipation. Your intestines move stuff using involuntary muscles. These straps allow someone with a fully functioning mind to spend time in an embarrassing place without someone watching them.

40 Memes That Might Only Make You Laugh If You’re In Medicine—Through Tears, Of Course

both should be free.

30 Random Images That Don’t Need To Make Sense To Be Funny

His name is whut?

“My Lord, I Had Forgot The Fart”: 50 Random Facts You May Have Not Heard Of Before (New Pics)

That number seems low

Show All 4 Comments

Two_rolling_black_eyes • commented on 5 posts 3 weeks ago

Mom Lets Kids Know Why They Can’t Hang Out With Her Daughter, Turns Them Against Their Parents

I think someone is a bad parent and the other parents don't trust their kids around them. A day drinker in the pick-up line. That or her precious little daughter is a spoiled brat who they don't want hanging around their kids. We all know a "precious little Suzy" whose mom knows can do no wrong but every other parent knows they bite.

Show All 5 Comments

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted an item 3 weeks ago

Insiders Share 30 Industry Truths The Public Often Isn't Even Aware Of

Fixing software they did not write is part of most programmers job description. Otherwise you would be like a mechanic who can’t fix cars not built by him/her.

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted 2 items 4 weeks ago

IlluminationRock reply

Mechanical Engineers aren't mechanics.

Everyone seems to think that I'm the guy to come to when their car is having problems. Like, yeah, I could figure out how to fix this and know what's going on... But really, you should probably ask the guy who does this s**t *everyday*, he is the expert here. Also, you don't want to pay an engineer to fix your car.

hollycrapola reply

Programmers (generally) can’t fix computers. Or software they did not write. Sometimes not even the software they wrote.

Two_rolling_black_eyes • commented on 7 posts 1 month ago

30 Things That Were Hyped But Truly Deserved The Praise

I've experiences many of the things on this list and can confidentially say this should be #1. I already have tickets to Iceland in '26 for my 4th total eclipse and hopefully the ultimate eclipse. There is a decent chance for northern lights during it.

Person Makes Boss’s Life Harder After He Gets Fired Without A Word: “He Sputtered And Stammered”

Even in at will states, if your employer reduces your hours to zero, you are considered fired/laid off and eligible for unemployment. They have the right to do it but they can't have it both ways. Attempts to claim you are still an employee is illegal and the employer can be found liable for their practices.

30 Things That Were Hyped But Truly Deserved The Praise

Person Makes Boss’s Life Harder After He Gets Fired Without A Word: “He Sputtered And Stammered”

50 Memes To Help You Get Through The Work Week

Don't use that BS term created by someone in HR who never actually made a sandwich in their life. It was invented to explain why they under compensate employees. We all know corporations don't pay for the work of artists - they just steal it.

50 Science Memes From ‘Trust Me, I'm A "Biologist"’ That Might Make You Laugh

I know this gallery is old BUT many of the ones we "made up" sounds for have fossil records and we've blown air through them. Headcrests in Hadrosaurs and syrinxes (llke the hyoid bones your voice boxs hang one) in multiple other groups.

30 Memes And Jokes About Everything Programming And Computer Science (New Pics)

Answering the "why not javascript?" question. COBOL is still the fastest and most stable language for processing massive amounts of transactions, particularly financial ones. It does one thing but it was perfected 50+ years ago and nothing is faster yet. A company like VISA is doing 65,000 transactions per second and that speed and accuracy is paramount. The 1875 thing - May 20, 1875 was when the first ISO standardization was implemented in Paris. By using that as "0", the same date could be used across systems and countries to calculate.

30 Memes And Jokes About Everything Programming And Computer Science (New Pics)

I worked in a 25 building datacenter with 3K employees. The 4 person deskside support team charged an extra $50 cash + travel time (25 buildings often means a 20 min one way walk pulling a bag with parts and replacements) if they showed up and just plugged it in or pushed the power button. I personally witnessed an office mate swear the power button on his monitor always turned on his laptop when they connected to each other.

40 Of The Funniest Tweets From February 2025

Six years of faculty and ex-students trying to kill you and no one believing you. You're finally forced to leave. No way a sane person ever steps foot there again.

Show All 7 Comments

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted 6 items 1 month ago

Jojo Siwa

potterMathWho reply

Seeing a solar eclipse in totality it was amazing! 11/10 would recommend to a friend.

Jojo Siwa

potterMathWho reply

Seeing a solar eclipse in totality it was amazing! 11/10 would recommend to a friend.

11 Moments When Plus-Size Customers Spoke Out — and Faced The Internet's Wrath

Poll Question: Should people lie about their a$$es being god given?

“The Worst Of The Worst”: Snow White Crashes And Burns With Opening Weekend Disaster

Gosh, the movie that everyone said was going to be an epic dumpster fire turns out to be an epic dumpster fire. Who woulda thunk??

“The Worst Of The Worst”: Snow White Crashes And Burns With Opening Weekend Disaster

It has nothing to do with being 'woke'. It has everything to do with being unnecessary and just... badly executed.

Biology-Medicine-Chemistry-Memes

Show All 6 Upvotes

Two_rolling_black_eyes • submitted a new post 3 years ago

Ask Pandas

Hey Pandas, What Is The Smartest And Stupidest Thing You Recently Heard From The Same Person?"

Two_rolling_black_eyes • submitted 4 list additions 1 year ago

Hey Pandas, What's Something You Did In 2023 That You're Proud Of? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What's The Worst Show You've Ever Watched?

Hey Pandas, Do You Have Any Advice For The Future? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, Can You Explain A Film Badly? (Closed)

Two_rolling_black_eyes • submitted 5 list additions 2 years ago

Hey Pandas, Whats One Thing About Society You Would Change?

Hey Pandas, What Are Your Resolutions For The Upcoming Year?

Hey Pandas, What Was The Best Halloween Costume Idea You've Ever Seen? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Is The Dumbest Law Ever Proposed By A Politician? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Most Interesting Airport Stories? (Closed)

Two_rolling_black_eyes • submitted 11 list additions 3 years ago

Hey Pandas, What Is The Weirdest Way You Have Gotten An Injury? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, Tell Me You're From Your Country Without Telling Me You're From Your Country (Closed)

Hey Pandas, When Did You Realize You Are Getting Old? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Is Something You Hate With A Burning Passion? (Closed)

“That Completely Changed My Thinking”: 40 Perception-Changing Stories By Our Community

Hey Pandas, Tell Me A Time When You Caught Someone Mansplaining (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Is Your Controversial Opinion?

Hey Pandas, What Are The Weirdest Things That Have Happened To You At A Concert Or Live Event? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Is A Word Or A Phrase You Can’t Stop Saying (Closed)

Hey Pandas, Who Would You Like To Yeet Off The World The Most? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, This Is A Safe Space For Secrets You Want To Get Off Your Chest

Two_rolling_black_eyes • commented on a post 2 days ago

These 30 Companies Screwed Around, Found Out, And Lost Customers Forever

if this was recent, Tesla is #1.

Two_rolling_black_eyes • commented on 4 posts 2 weeks ago

40 Memes That Might Only Make You Laugh If You’re In Medicine—Through Tears, Of Course

both should be free.

30 Random Images That Don’t Need To Make Sense To Be Funny

His name is whut?

“My Lord, I Had Forgot The Fart”: 50 Random Facts You May Have Not Heard Of Before (New Pics)

That number seems low

Two_rolling_black_eyes • commented on 5 posts 3 weeks ago

Insiders Share 30 Industry Truths The Public Often Isn't Even Aware Of

Mom Lets Kids Know Why They Can’t Hang Out With Her Daughter, Turns Them Against Their Parents

Two_rolling_black_eyes • commented on 8 posts 1 month ago

30 Things That Were Hyped But Truly Deserved The Praise

Person Makes Boss’s Life Harder After He Gets Fired Without A Word: “He Sputtered And Stammered”

50 Memes To Help You Get Through The Work Week

50 Science Memes From ‘Trust Me, I'm A "Biologist"’ That Might Make You Laugh

30 Memes And Jokes About Everything Programming And Computer Science (New Pics)

40 Of The Funniest Tweets From February 2025

Six years of faculty and ex-students trying to kill you and no one believing you. You're finally forced to leave. No way a sane person ever steps foot there again.

“I Just Have To Tell You Something…”: Woman Shocked At Coworker’s Audacity

The opposite of love isn't hate, its apathy and it's the best revenge. Hate is still strongly caring about someone else. By going out of the way to spite him, they are still providing him agency because his comment changed the poster's appearance and behavior. They should wear the level of makeup and spend the amount of effort to do it that makes them happy as if the other person never existed.

Two_rolling_black_eyes • commented on 2 posts 2 months ago

This Online Group Exists To Shame Overconfident Know-It-Alls Who Incorrectly Correct Other People (New Pics)

#1 Bad chart based on bad data. For instance, several of the countries shown on the "least religious" aren't and most of the big hitters (like China) from that category aren't shown. #2, Correlation is not causation. Singapore is both one of the most religious and most peaceful countries in the world. Ukraine War is between 2 countries with the same faith. The 8 decade old war in Myanmar is ethnonationalist groups wanting independence. Religious wars (Gaza) are going on but breaking the peace usually goes back to power and land envy. Nazi Germany used the Jews as a scapegoat for WW2 but they didn't try to invade the UK and North Africa over a religious disagreement.

“Would 1000000% Be The End For Me”: Guy Flies Home Without GF, Makes Her Doubt Their Relationship

Why were they in separate security lines? You and the SO hand the TSA your stuff together, go through the same Xray, and put your shoes back on afterwards sitting next to one another.

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted an item 2 days ago

These 30 Companies Screwed Around, Found Out, And Lost Customers Forever

BP sure does love regurgitating 5 year old Reddit threads

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted an item 4 days ago

31 Things That Look Awesome In Movies But Are Terrible In Real Life

But of course it is! If you want to dance in the rain, pouring rain is the best

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted 7 items 1 week ago

Woman Confused Why Her Mom Doesn’t Help With Kids, Tackles Modern Grandparenting Double Standards

You are supposed to allow them to see him and spend time with him, NOT expect them to babysit/watch him. As in, you're supposed to be present and caring for his needs.

Woman Confused Why Her Mom Doesn’t Help With Kids, Tackles Modern Grandparenting Double Standards

So you think your mother and stepfather should be obligated to spend time with/watch your son for "longer than 15 minutes"? Your son is your child, not theirs.

Woman Confused Why Her Mom Doesn’t Help With Kids, Tackles Modern Grandparenting Double Standards

"So Cruel": White Lotus' Star Aimee Lou Wood Claps Back At SNL For Making A Mockery Of Her

Jojo Siwa

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted 7 items 2 weeks ago

50 Hilarious Memes From ‘Sarcasm Daily’ To Help You Forget Your Problems For A Bit (New Pics)

Not as bad as, "You want to withdraw all $3?"

50 Hilarious Memes From ‘Sarcasm Daily’ To Help You Forget Your Problems For A Bit (New Pics)

Random-Funny-Images-Chortle-Humor

30 Random Images That Don’t Need To Make Sense To Be Funny

Mistakes were made

Funny-Today-Years-Old-Memes

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted 3 items 3 weeks ago

IlluminationRock reply

Insiders Share 30 Industry Truths The Public Often Isn't Even Aware Of

Fixing software they did not write is part of most programmers job description. Otherwise you would be like a mechanic who can’t fix cars not built by him/her.

hollycrapola reply

Programmers (generally) can’t fix computers. Or software they did not write. Sometimes not even the software they wrote.

Two_rolling_black_eyes • upvoted an item 1 month ago

potterMathWho reply

Seeing a solar eclipse in totality it was amazing! 11/10 would recommend to a friend.

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