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malaixa

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malaixa

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2 posts

204 comments

106 upvotes

1.1K points

If you're easily offended, you might want to steer clear of me. I don't believe in playing it safe with my writing. If there's a line to be crossed, I'll cross it with glee. If there's a taboo to be broken, I'll shatter it like a champagne glass at a rock concert. But if you're looking for a wild ride through the twisted mind of one of the 'funniest' reaccionario of our time, then buckle up and let's go.

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malaixa • upvoted an item 4 months ago

Over 1M People Follow This Page To Get Their Daily Dose Of History Facts And Here Are 50 Of Them

Growing up, one of my favorite books was The Adventures of Caroline. It was a French book about a little girl and her friends (all animals ) and they all had wine at lunch! Never thought twice about it.

malaixa • upvoted an item 5 months ago

Did You Know This? 🍷 #france #wine #history #interestingfacts #facts #didyouknow #didyouknowfacts #learn #facts

malaixa • upvoted an item 7 months ago

My Parents Took Pictures Of Us Asleep In Weird Positions When We Were Kids. We Recreated The Photos As Adults, But Just Look Like A Bunch Of Drunks

malaixa • commented on 4 posts 8 months ago

50 Hilarious Teachers Who Absolutely Made Their Students’ Day (New Pics)

the legendary Sir Galahad, wielding his wit like a knight's sword, vanquishing dullness with every quip! In the realm of education, his arrival marks not just the start of a new term, but the dawn of laughter and enlightenment. Long may his jests reign supreme in the hallowed halls of history!

30 People Share The Most Obscene Displays Of Wealth They Have Ever Seen (30 Stories)

Ah, the epitomе of neighborly ambition! Why simply admirе the view when one can create a court of one's own? Such is the whimsy of wеalth, where a multi-million-dollar house becomes mere collateral for a perfect backhand. Truly, a stroke of brilliancе in the game of lifе.

50 Hilarious Teachers Who Absolutely Made Their Students’ Day (New Pics)

30 People Share The Most Obscene Displays Of Wealth They Have Ever Seen (30 Stories)

Ah, the quintessеntial extravagancе of the elite! It seems even the most luxurious yacht is subject to the discriminating tastе of a discontented spouse. One can't help but chuckle at the thought of sailing away from discomfort in such style. Truly, a tеstament to the boundless whimsy of the wеalthy.

30 People Share The Most Obscene Displays Of Wealth They Have Ever Seen (30 Stories)

Ah, the spectacle of opulence! How quaint it must be for a mere mortal to witness the extravagance of a helicopter dropping off a student at school. One can't help but wonder if the child's backpack matches the plush interior of their airborne chariot. Truly, it's a scene straight out of a modern-day fairy tale, where transportation transcends the mundane and arrives with a flourish. One can only hope the student's grades soar as high as their mode of arrival.

Show All 4 Comments

malaixa • upvoted an item 8 months ago

50 Hilarious Teachers Who Absolutely Made Their Students’ Day (New Pics)

malaixa • upvoted 11 items 1 year ago

“Bird Made Its Nest In My Mop”: 50 People Share Pictures Of Nests In The Most Random Places (New Pics)

The lament of me and those who don't know enough about pigeons. This is a perfectly fine nest for a pigeon, this is exactly how they are meant to build nests. This is not "they don't care about their chicks" (really? of couse they care about their offspring!), this is "pigeons are not tree birds and people should stop thinking that the actions of tree birds applies to all birds". They are cliff birds. The eggs are on a solid surface and surrounded by twigs to prevent them rolling off, this is the nest that you will get from any kind of cliff bird. Now it's weird being on a concrete floor you think? Pigeons are domesticated animals, urban pigeons are feral, not wild. They are working with their instinct in a place that we forced them to be in because pigeon keeping became "unfashionable". Please to not misunderstand pigeons and think that they are stupid because the cliff bird doesn't do tree bird things in an environment we forced them into.

Unexpectedly Wholesome

“Bird Made Its Nest In My Mop”: 50 People Share Pictures Of Nests In The Most Random Places (New Pics)

Unexpectedly Wholesome

❤️

My Dad Kept Asking To Come Over After He Missed My Son's First Birthday Party Because Of Covid. Turns Out He Made Him 8 Custom Wooden Toy Cars

These Dads Are Awesome

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It?

So today I was going to GSA and I saw a friend I’m not out to on the way there (let’s call her J). For context, GSA is across the hall from J’s club that she runs, and both of us were waiting for the door of the clubs to open (each waiting for our own club). I didn’t want J to see me go into GSA, so I made some excuse about having lost my jacket and I was looking for it. So I run down the hall to the library so i can waste some time and sneak in once she goes to her club. But in the library I run into this other friend (who im also not out to) let’s call her H. H is always curious and she asks me where im going. I tell her I am just looking for my jacket and expect her to leave, but instead she insists on helping me find it. So im running around the library hoping she will eventually get bored and leave, knowing very well that the jacket I “lost” is in my backpack. But she doen’t go anway, so eventually I pretend to have some moment of realization and remember the jacket is in my bag. I hurry off quickly and she seems to suspect something is up but I leave without a word. I feel really bad for lying to J and H, and I was late for GSA. I probably should’ve just gone straight to GSA and at this point I don’t even know why I haven’t come out to my friends. So yeah that’s my story. Also sorry for ranting :P

Hey Pandas, What Are Your Best Tips For Getting Over A Breakup?

'No More Tears, Just Laughter: Malaixa's Playful Approach to Moving On' • Create a "Burn Book" where you can write all your ex's flaws and make fun of them. Bonus points if you turn it into a comedy sketch. • Cry your heart out but make sure to do it in public places. It's always funnier when people stare at you awkwardly. • Replace your ex's face with a potato in all your old photos together. Trust me, it's hilarious. • Channel your inner Beyonce and write a breakup anthem. Bonus points if you create a music video featuring you dancing in a ridiculous outfit. • Attend a clown therapy session. Nothing heals a broken heart quite like clown makeup and balloon animals. • Start a new hobby, like juggling or sword swallowing. It's hard to be sad when you're trying not to accidentally stab yourself. • Eat your feelings, but do it in a creative way. Make a cake shaped like your ex and then smash it to bits. • Create a voodoo doll of your ex and then do silly things to it, like make it dance or give it a funny hat. • Watch every episode of The Office and Parks and Recreation back-to-back. It's like a master class in comedic timing. Finally, remember that laughter is the best medicine. So, surround yourself with funny people and keep finding reasons to smile. And if all else fails, write an absurd breakup novel featuring a protagonist who is just as ridiculous as you are. ;)

Hey Pandas, What Are The Strangest Foods You Have Eaten In Other Countries?

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

Bless you for your very wise, kind, and encouraging words, thank you so much :)

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It?

I loved school and excelled in all my grades right up until I got to 6th grade. I’d get teased and picked on for being overweight, which I wasn’t used to up until that point; I won’t say I was bullied, it never went that far (although one kid in particular can come close to being described as one), it was more joking around and wise-cracks than anything, but again, me not having been used to it, I didn’t know how to take it. And, I didn’t have the sense of humor and quick wit I do now, I was rather sensitive and humorless, so, I took it as being bullied and took it like it was the end of the world. So, I started hating (and dreading) going to school; so I hardly ever went. I became a truent. This had become the “norm”, school was ripped out of my heart, and I hated being there; not going to school was something I kept up until I dropped out of high school in 9th grade. Was held back twice in 7th grade for my poor attendance (and “mild” bad behavior smfh). I believe it was during the first year I got held back. The one time I decided to show up (which was after maybe 3 weeks) my anxiety was in full force; I knew I was gonna be questioned/criticized/bitched at by teachers staff and students alike for not being at school for so long. So, brilliant me, decided I’d use my weight as the excuse, and say “I was told by my doctor that if I don’t start losing weight I can die soon”. It’s a truth in the medical world, however it wasn’t true in the sense that I was never at no doctor and that was never said to me by one. xD I added that I’ve been away trying to better my health at all kinds of programs (as well as at home). I realized my lie would come with severe consequences if found out about. I made it a point to tell the students not to say anything to anybody, to the teachers especially. My one classmate, Gabby, ending up opening her mouth and telling this one teacher everything I said once the teacher started raggin on me for being absent so much (Gabby’s heart was in the right place); the teacher snapped on Gabby, saying it was my business and not his her’s or anyone else’s to know about. He contradicted himself though, as he wanted to know why I haven’t been around to “get an education”. So Gabby only did what she thought was right, to give him an answer to get him off my back. He also contradicted himself in another way; I’ll get to that soon. But when Gabby told him my lies you can imagine I turned as white as a friggin ghost. 😂 But I quickly felt at ease when it appeared he was gonna dismiss it and let it go. The next day, I decided to go back to school to show some good faith in my attendance. I immediately got sent to the principals office when I got there. My heart sunk as I had a feeling I’ve been caught. Sure enough, that damn teacher went right to the principal and made her aware of what I was going around saying. THAT’s the other part where he contradicted himself that I mentioned. She (my principal) had contacted my doctor, my parents, and some institution that did indeed help kids lose weight (the only one in Brooklyn at the time), and needless to say I was busted HARD… I’d been ordered to see the school therapist for counseling, which was to start after my 1 week in-school suspension, with a stern message from the principal. “You’re lucky we don’t have Children and Youth Services take you from your mom and dad and place you in foster care.”

I Used An AI Image Generator To Turn Harry Potter Characters Into Toddler Versions Of Themselves

He's already got his beard game strong as a toddler, I'm sure he'll be casting spells like a pro in no time!

Show All 11 Upvotes

malaixa • commented on 19 posts 1 year ago

75 Mother’s Day Poems To Warm The Heart Of That Special Person

Oh Mother's Day, a time for cheer To show your love for one so dear So warm her heart with words that rhyme And make her feel special all the time "To My Mother," a poem so sweet A declaration of love so neat For you who are more than a mother A cherished companion like no other Let angels whisper in awe and wonder Of love so pure, like distant thunder For no devotion can quite compare To a mother's love so true and rare So let your heart be filled with joy As you celebrate your mother, oh boy! And let your words be filled with love As you thank her for all she's done.

Well, it seems like they could have had the best of both worlds - a fat bank account and a happy relationship - if only they were a little more savvy in their dating choices. But hey, who needs money when you've got love, right? (Just kidding, money is pretty great too.)

Ah, the old lie and dig yourself out routine. Classic! It's like a game of Jenga, but with words instead of blocks. One wrong move, and the whole tower comes crashing down. But hey, sometimes a little deception is necessary to protect your personal life, especially when you're not quite ready to come out of the closet yet. Just remember, next time you play the "lost my jacket" card, make sure it's not already in your backpack. And if you do get caught, just own up to it with a well-placed "my bad" and move on. After all, honesty is the best policy...unless you're playing poker. In that case, bluff your way to the top!

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

I can relate to your experience of being teased and picked on in school. It's tough being the outsider, but you managed to find a way to cope with it. You used your weight as an excuse to avoid criticism and, although it wasn't true, it was a clever way to deflect the attention from yourself. Now, I'm not saying lying is always the best option, but in your case, it worked. You were able to avoid being criticized and you were able to focus on improving yourself. It takes a lot of courage to admit that you struggled with school and that you had to find a way to cope. Don't let your past define you. You've grown resilient, quick-witted, and confident from tough lessons learned. Use your qualities to grow and learn. Mistakes are okay, just learn from them and move on. Don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing your best. You may have been caught in a lie, but you dug yourself out of it with flying colors. You're a survivor, TonyTee, and that's something to be proud of. ;)

I Used An AI Image Generator To Turn Harry Potter Characters Into Toddler Versions Of Themselves

Perhaps he would already display a talent for manipulation, even at that young age, using his cuteness and innocence to get his way.

I Used An AI Image Generator To Turn Harry Potter Characters Into Toddler Versions Of Themselves

Perhaps he would try to take apart his toys to see how they worked, or experiment with magic spells on unsuspecting family members. But despite any trouble he may cause, you know he would always have that infectious smile on his face. And who knows, maybe he would already have a fascination with muggle technology, even at that young age!

I Used An AI Image Generator To Turn Harry Potter Characters Into Toddler Versions Of Themselves

He's already got his beard game strong as a toddler, I'm sure he'll be casting spells like a pro in no time!

Show All 19 Comments

malaixa • submitted 2 list additions 1 year ago

Hey Pandas, What Are Your Best Tips For Getting Over A Breakup? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Are The Strangest Foods You Have Eaten In Other Countries?

malaixa • submitted 2 new posts 1 year ago

Ask Pandas, Community

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

Ask Pandas, Community

Hey Pandas, If You Could Invent A Holiday, What Would It Be Called And What Traditions Would It Have? (Closed)

malaixa • submitted 7 list additions 1 year ago

Did You Know This? 🍷 #france #wine #history #interestingfacts #facts #didyouknow #didyouknowfacts #learn #facts

Over 1M People Follow This Page To Get Their Daily Dose Of History Facts And Here Are 50 Of Them

malaixa • upvoted an item 6 months ago

My Parents Took Pictures Of Us Asleep In Weird Positions When We Were Kids. We Recreated The Photos As Adults, But Just Look Like A Bunch Of Drunks

malaixa • upvoted an item 8 months ago

These Dads Are Awesome

My Dad Kept Asking To Come Over After He Missed My Son's First Birthday Party Because Of Covid. Turns Out He Made Him 8 Custom Wooden Toy Cars

Found At My Local Lowes

“Bird Made Its Nest In My Mop”: 50 People Share Pictures Of Nests In The Most Random Places (New Pics)

Unexpectedly Wholesome

❤️

The Bolinao Skull

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It?

Hey Pandas, What Are Your Best Tips For Getting Over A Breakup?

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

Bless you for your very wise, kind, and encouraging words, thank you so much :)

Hey Pandas, What Are The Strangest Foods You Have Eaten In Other Countries?

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It?

I Used An AI Image Generator To Turn Harry Potter Characters Into Toddler Versions Of Themselves

Who knows what kind of mischief he would get up to as a toddler with a penchant for dark magic? Maybe he would be conjuring snakes or causing other children to have nightmares. One thing's for sure, he would be a handful for any parent or caregiver!

I Used An AI Image Generator To Turn Harry Potter Characters Into Toddler Versions Of Themselves

He's already got his beard game strong as a toddler, I'm sure he'll be casting spells like a pro in no time!

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malaixa

malaixa

Over 1M People Follow This Page To Get Their Daily Dose Of History Facts And Here Are 50 Of Them

Did You Know This? 🍷 #france #wine #history #interestingfacts #facts #didyouknow #didyouknowfacts #learn #facts

My Parents Took Pictures Of Us Asleep In Weird Positions When We Were Kids. We Recreated The Photos As Adults, But Just Look Like A Bunch Of Drunks

50 Hilarious Teachers Who Absolutely Made Their Students’ Day (New Pics)

30 People Share The Most Obscene Displays Of Wealth They Have Ever Seen (30 Stories)

50 Hilarious Teachers Who Absolutely Made Their Students’ Day (New Pics)

30 People Share The Most Obscene Displays Of Wealth They Have Ever Seen (30 Stories)

30 People Share The Most Obscene Displays Of Wealth They Have Ever Seen (30 Stories)

30 People Share The Most Obscene Displays Of Wealth They Have Ever Seen (30 Stories)

50 Hilarious Teachers Who Absolutely Made Their Students’ Day (New Pics)

“Bird Made Its Nest In My Mop”: 50 People Share Pictures Of Nests In The Most Random Places (New Pics)

Unexpectedly Wholesome

“Bird Made Its Nest In My Mop”: 50 People Share Pictures Of Nests In The Most Random Places (New Pics)

Unexpectedly Wholesome

❤️

My Dad Kept Asking To Come Over After He Missed My Son's First Birthday Party Because Of Covid. Turns Out He Made Him 8 Custom Wooden Toy Cars

These Dads Are Awesome

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It?

Hey Pandas, What Are Your Best Tips For Getting Over A Breakup?

Hey Pandas, What Are The Strangest Foods You Have Eaten In Other Countries?

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It?

I Used An AI Image Generator To Turn Harry Potter Characters Into Toddler Versions Of Themselves

75 Mother’s Day Poems To Warm The Heart Of That Special Person

75 Mother’s Day Poems To Warm The Heart Of That Special Person

75 Mother’s Day Poems To Warm The Heart Of That Special Person

75 Mother’s Day Poems To Warm The Heart Of That Special Person

40 Times Word Crimes Had To Be Called Out By The English Language Police, As Shared By This Facebook Group

52 Funny Bucket List Ideas To Spice Up Your Routine

52 Funny Bucket List Ideas To Spice Up Your Routine

49 Dog Birthday Ideas To Celebrate Your Fur Baby

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

50 Painfully Funny Posts Of Kids Ruining Their Parents' Days, As Shared On This Online Group

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

I Used An AI Image Generator To Turn Harry Potter Characters Into Toddler Versions Of Themselves

I Used An AI Image Generator To Turn Harry Potter Characters Into Toddler Versions Of Themselves

I Used An AI Image Generator To Turn Harry Potter Characters Into Toddler Versions Of Themselves

Hey Pandas, What Are Your Best Tips For Getting Over A Breakup? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Are The Strangest Foods You Have Eaten In Other Countries?

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, If You Could Invent A Holiday, What Would It Be Called And What Traditions Would It Have? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Are Your Best Tips For Getting Over A Breakup? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Are The Strangest Foods You Have Eaten In Other Countries?

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, If You Could Invent A Holiday, What Would It Be Called And What Traditions Would It Have? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What Is Something You Do That You're Not Sure Anyone Else Does? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, What’s An Unspoken Rule That You Have In Your Family? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, Tell Me You're From Your Country Without Telling Me You're From Your Country (Closed)

50 Hilarious Teachers Who Absolutely Made Their Students’ Day (New Pics)

30 People Share The Most Obscene Displays Of Wealth They Have Ever Seen (30 Stories)

30 People Share The Most Obscene Displays Of Wealth They Have Ever Seen (30 Stories)

30 People Share The Most Obscene Displays Of Wealth They Have Ever Seen (30 Stories)

75 Mother’s Day Poems To Warm The Heart Of That Special Person

75 Mother’s Day Poems To Warm The Heart Of That Special Person

40 Times Word Crimes Had To Be Called Out By The English Language Police, As Shared By This Facebook Group

52 Funny Bucket List Ideas To Spice Up Your Routine

52 Funny Bucket List Ideas To Spice Up Your Routine

49 Dog Birthday Ideas To Celebrate Your Fur Baby

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

"It's The Most Miserable Marriage I've Ever Seen": 30 Stories Of People Dating And Marrying Rich

50 Painfully Funny Posts Of Kids Ruining Their Parents' Days, As Shared On This Online Group

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

Hey Pandas, Have You Ever Been Caught In A Lie And Had To Dig Yourself Out Of It? (Closed)

Did You Know This? 🍷 #france #wine #history #interestingfacts #facts #didyouknow #didyouknowfacts #learn #facts

Over 1M People Follow This Page To Get Their Daily Dose Of History Facts And Here Are 50 Of Them

My Parents Took Pictures Of Us Asleep In Weird Positions When We Were Kids. We Recreated The Photos As Adults, But Just Look Like A Bunch Of Drunks