I was an exchange student living in Paris. My French improved a lot pretty quickly. One of the daughters hung out with questionable friends. I tried to do my own thing but apparently, she rubbed off on me.

At my prim grandmother's request, I made arrangements to meet an old friend of hers who lived at a very posh address. I was holding my own, French-wise, at a restaurant until we talked about dessert. She asked (in French) if I wanted cream or sugar on my strawberries. I said, "Je m'en fous." Basically means, "I don't give a f**k." I didn't know this until I returned to the States.

Oh we got on a train in Bologna a few years ago, and a guy was in my seat. He insisted he wasn’t and the conductor guy came over and pointed out my ticket was for the following day. Wow. It was an express, so at the next stop we had to buy tickets back to Bologna, walk back to our place where we’d dropped the key at the office and explain we needed it back. It was a three week trip and I’d just totally lost track of the days.

I was in St. Petersburg, Russia, a teenager visiting a host family. I REALLY needed to use the bathroom. I had eagerly eaten all the new food. Tummy issues. In the broken language I knew I ask for a “rest room”. I was graciously shown my room with a bed. I think my face said more than my words so it worked out. Just super embarrassing.

My friend and I went to a local restaurant in Indonesia, a jar of water on our table, we drank it, the local people looked at us. We saw local people use it wash their hands, that not for drink,only for wash hands.

In my own country in Australia I was in a different state and got pulled over to get breathalyzed. I was used to the type where you put your mouth on a straw and blow. But the cop in the other state held up a device near me and told me to count to 10. Super confused, I asked "...where do I blow?" and he repeated the instruction again, just count to 10. Again, confused, I leant in to blow into nothing until my passenger laughed and explained it and I wanted to melt away into my seat. I was completely sober.

Showing up at the airport with my family the day after our scheduled flight. The worst part was my dad was there dropping us off. 😂 Thank god the agent took pity on us & there were seats available, she booked us in on that evening’s flight without any fees. That by far is the most embarrassing but had the best outcome.

In the mid-90s I was on a youth exchange between Uruguay and Canada. We were a group of youth working in rural communities & living with local families. One of my good friends in the group who was from Toronto was assigned to a local school and got lost on his first day, arriving late. In his panic to explain, he starts off by telling his new employer that he was “muy embarazado” about arriving late on his first day, realizing later that he had told them he was pregnant.

When I was 16, my family traveled to Europe. We mostly ate at restaurants with a waiter and a menu and would work together to figure out what each item was. But one day we went to a cafeteria style restaurant where you got a tray, pushed it along, and selected your food yourself. I came to the beverages and saw big glasses of nice cold milk, which I hadn’t had all vacation. I grabbed one and sat down to eat. I took a huge gulp and nearly spit it back out thinking it was spoiled. Turns out it was buttermilk, which is what the sign said in German.

Actually this happened to my husband when he was living in Europe for a summer in college. He was in France in a bakery and wanted to tell the baker how good the bread was. Freshly baked, flaky, no preservatives, etc. So he tried to make an English word sound French by saying no “préservatif”. Well that is the French word for condom. So the baker looked at him like he was crazy. Funny story though…..

I was in France, Cannes on vacation with my GF.
There were Fireworks and lots of people because it was the 14. july french national Day.

There was a Bus with Food and i tried to order some Food. I can speak french but not super well. But to my excuse, the crowd was super loud and i couldnt hear the cashier properly. (Atleast thats my side of the story lmao)
So the cashier apparently asked what my name is. Idk why? So i, instead of telling my name i ordered Salmon. Repeated it. Because i tought she couldnt hear me.

She asked again if my name really is monsieur Salmon…..

My gf and the cashiers were dying with laughter..
So, from this day on. I go by the name of Monsieur Salmon 🍣🐟.

Staying with my brother in a hotel in Orlando. We are both Germans, my brother‘s english is mediocre at best. We wanted to start the next day early.
My brother asks me if they offer wake up calls in this hotel. I’m like „of course, just ring reception“.

Now, for context, six in German is „sechs“ and sounds similar to „s*x“.

My brother picks up the phone and I can hear him talking to the girl at the front desk: „yes yes I would like s*x in the morning“.

I could not stop laughing.

Nothing too embarrassing but I still laugh about it, went to a fancy restaurant in Kyoto once and the hostess put down a little bowl of what I guessed was soup/broth on the table so I drank it. She came back about a minute later with some tempura and seemed surprised that I drank the dipping sauce that was intended for it. She was like “oh…. did you like it?”.

When I had just arrived to the Philippines, I couldn’t find my friend. A cop (or perhaps a security guard) asked if they could help. I told him what’s going on and he offered to call my friend, which I accepted. We make contact with my friend and I find her. The cop extends his hand which I took as wanting a high five. So I gave him five and ran off. It wasn’t until later that I realized he wanted a tip. 😂.