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Clandestine
Community Member
Clandestine
Community Member
1 posts
323 comments
6.5K upvotes
1.3K points
Hi!
I'm an artist and a student. I love to express myself though poems, drawings, and paintings. For me art is universal -- anyone can look at and enjoy artwork.
Clandestine • upvoted an item 1 year ago
Clandestine • upvoted 39 items 2 years ago
40 Cringy And Embarrassing Ways Parents Let Others Know They're Expecting, As Shamed On This FB Page
40 Cringy And Embarrassing Ways Parents Let Others Know They're Expecting, As Shamed On This FB Page
40 Cringy And Embarrassing Ways Parents Let Others Know They're Expecting, As Shamed On This FB Page
40 Cringy And Embarrassing Ways Parents Let Others Know They're Expecting, As Shamed On This FB Page
This British Facebook Page Is Sharing 40 Pictures That Prove 'Random' Is A Daily Thing On 'The Tube'
"I'm Going To Leave The Room For Two Minutes. If It Appears, Then We Will Just Call It A Day And Everyone Can Leave"
Oh my god... this event just hit me like a sack of bricks. Gather around folks, it's story time. So it was my senior year of high school, and I was in the forensic science class. We were getting closer to the midterms and one kid, his name was Nathan, was trying to steal a triple beam balance so he can measure his drugs. He was able to fit this f****r into his backpack. The end of class, the teacher notices there is one of these scales missing. In a classroom environment, these are okay to have. Apparently, outside of a classroom, they are considered drug paraphernalia. "I'm going to leave the room for two minutes. If it appears, then we will just call it a day and everyone can leave." my teacher says. She leaves, and everyone turns to Nathan because it was obvious that he did it. Instead of putting it back to where it was supposed to be, he puts it under my chair. "Can you just say you found it here?" I agree. **Big mistake.** The teacher comes in and states that she doesn't see it. The principal is with her too. "Where is it?" she asks. The entire room looks at me now. "I found it here, under my chair." The teacher looks astonished, because for my metal head looks back in the day, I was a pretty well behaved kid. So I'm taken out to the hallway and the principal, before she even said a word I go "I didn't do it. Nathan did." I was quickly escorted to the principal's office. *Now I am going to hold you here for a quick second. Because this detail is pretty important. I went camping several days before and got my arms stuck in a thorn bush, causing scrapes and small cuts all over my arm.* So I am sitting in the office waiting to be talked to, and that is when Nathan is also escorted in as well. Except he is taken right to the office and I am brought into another. There is the principal, and the school psych counselor. The principal asks if I had any issues at home, and the psych started to jump in. I sat there for several hours wondering what it was all about. That's when they asked why I had a small package of safety razor blades in my locker. They were for tech class I was taking at the time, and the school thought I was cutting myself or something. This big whole thing happens, and the principal realizes that this was all just a huge mistake. There was nothing more or less to the situation. He ended up getting me lunch that day. It also turns out that Nathan got suspended for a week, and my entire class came down to the office and backed me up saying how it wasn't my fault. It was a good time. Also, Nathan, it's been 10 years. You don't have to be weird when you see me.
Dog Eats Chocolate = Mom Gets A Divorce
Once when I was around 6 or 7, my mom brought home some delicious chocolate, and gave some to me. I loved the stuff and stole the bar that she had saved for my step-dad. He comes home and my mom can't find the chocolate. She asks me what happened to it, I blame the Duncan (our dog) knowing that he often eats things off the counter (I didn't know at the time that chocolate was toxic for dogs), My mom goes terribly pale and rushes Duncan to the vet, and he has to throw up. I felt terrible about this as I thought it was because he stole the chocolate and was some form of punishment. The next day she brings home more chocolate. Nobody told me that it was for Duncan's own good that he was taken to the vet. So feeling bad for doing this to Duncan, I give him my chocolate this time thinking he deserved it after taking one for the team last time. Later that night my mom asks me how the chocolate was, this time I decided to tell the full truth and explained that I gave the chocolate to Duncan this time as I felt bad for getting him in trouble the first time. So another late night trip to the vet, and I finally was told that chocolate is toxic for dogs. Duncan was fine in the end, and for the rest of his life I snuck him meat and other things that would not kill him. Now the twist is that the very expensive vets trips cost a lot of money, which prompted my mom to take a look at our expenses. She found that the then step-dad was hiding an affair, and then got a divorce. TL;DR: I lied about our dog almost dying, then almost killed him on accident, causing my mom to get divorced.
gjhobso reply
My wife at the time saw the headline “Buffalo buried in 5 feet of snow” (I don’t remember the exact measurement). She asked “Why don’t they just dig the poor guy out?” There was a picture of the city under the headline.
joceyposse reply
Going through the border -- from Canada into the U.S.: Border Guard: "What's your citizenship?" Me: [hands over passport, which notes my birthplace as Vancouver, British Columbia] "Canadian." Border Guard: "No, what's your citizenship?" Me: *louder* "I'm Canadian." Border Guard: *yelling* "What's your citizenship?!" Me: "I don't know what you're asking me!" Border Guard: "Where were you born? Was it Colombia?" Me: "British Columbia is a province in Canada." Border Guard: *waves me through*
dogfobia reply
"So Trump is our president, right? Does that mean he's in charge of our state or the whole world? Sorry but I've never understood this whole president thing..." This was asked to me by a fellow high school senior... in civics class.
billbapapa reply
What nationality are you? *canadian* No, i mean, what nationality? *ummm, do you mean heritage? Polish I guess* No no, listen, na-tional-ity *I don’t know what you’re asking?* Whispers: Nationality, like, are you white, black, etc? *just look at me, I’m white as snow, and that’s not nation...* Cool I didn’t want to assume anything.
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Clandestine • commented on 20 posts 2 years ago
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