I dated a guy (a science teacher!) who thought all you needed to wash clothes was the fabric softener. I like to think I helped him suddenly seem much cleaner.

So, picture this: I’m at a friend’s house last night, casually sipping on a lukewarm cider (by choice, don’t @ me), when I see them load their dishwasher. And then it hits me.

THEY PUT THE SOAP IN THE LITTLE COMPARTMENT.

For SEVEN years, I’ve been just chucking the soap tablet straight into the bottom of the dishwasher, like some feral raccoon who accidentally found modern appliances. “Why isn’t my dishwasher working well?” I’d think, as I scraped dried pasta off plates. I thought it was just vibes.

Anyway, now my dishes are sparkling, my confidence is shaken, and I’m pretty sure my dishwasher has been side-eyeing me this whole time. Who else has been living a lie, and how did you discover it?

P.S. Yes, my friend laughed at me. Yes, I deserved it.