To the single most narcissistic human I have actually known well... their classmates are over itm its been three years of this... one of my very quiet ones said,

"If we admit you exist can we get back to work?".

I had a student who was obsessed with older technology. He carried a full on old school briefcase to school every day. He once brought in a typewriter to type up his essay. My favorite thing he ever said to me was, “Ms. RoyalGeekness, can I play some smooth jazz on my Walkman?” once he was done with his in class work. He had an honest to god cassette tape Walkman. I loved that kid.

I had a student who used a joke to open his “Animal Adaptations “ book he wrote. The joke was… What to you call a chameleon that doesn’t change color…. A reptile dysfunction. I’m pretty sure it was intentional, and it was hilarious.

Student handed me a pen and a blank paper. Told me it was my do it yourself birthday card.

I was teaching an adult class made up of a mixture of 19+ childcare students and ESOL students. I'd put some images up of celebrities on the board and asked the learners to come up with language techniques based on an image. I went around the room for answers and came to an ESOL lady who said, "Her make-up is slapped on like semen". I almost choked. Immediately I presumed I'd misheard her (some chatting going off) and asked her to repeat herself. "Her make-up is slapped on like semen". I almost died. The other learners were whispering/giggling. She repeated it again. It was only when she started miming saying "Like semen... Semen on the floor!" that I realised she meant cement! It was a valuable lesson on pronunciation 😂.