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Jake
Community Member
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98 comments
327 upvotes
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Jake • upvoted 37 items 2 years ago
Ridiculous-Names-Parents-Gave-Their-Children
Well... let's just say that the state I live in doesn't have a significant english-speaking population, especially in the rural regions, despite the official language of the country ( India) being English and most of the urban population being educated. However; I have friends whose parents gave them names like "Benadryl", "Goodbye", "Very helpful" and the absolute worst "Dishwasher". This, however is because people from the rural regions ( especially in the North-East) come to the cities, and see words in ads and billboards that they find pretty and innocently name their children after a variety of brands. I don't always blame them, I had a family friend who came off as very posh and educated, spoke perfect English... but named his daughter Darth Vader. Some of them are just trolling. Do not underestimate people of the hills; they don't take your bullshit, educated or otherwise.Ridiculous-Names-Parents-Gave-Their-Children
Well... let's just say that the state I live in doesn't have a significant english-speaking population, especially in the rural regions, despite the official language of the country ( India) being English and most of the urban population being educated. However; I have friends whose parents gave them names like "Benadryl", "Goodbye", "Very helpful" and the absolute worst "Dishwasher". This, however is because people from the rural regions ( especially in the North-East) come to the cities, and see words in ads and billboards that they find pretty and innocently name their children after a variety of brands. I don't always blame them, I had a family friend who came off as very posh and educated, spoke perfect English... but named his daughter Darth Vader. Some of them are just trolling. Do not underestimate people of the hills; they don't take your bullshit, educated or otherwise.
Former-Employees-Company-Secrets
I’ve been waiting a while for a thread like this. F**k Home Depot. They have a department called Home Depot Interiors - do not have your home remodeled by HDI, people, come on. The specific department I worked for was Cabinet Refacing. I was a salesman for about 4-5 months before I got the f**k out of there. Here’s the deal: Any time you have a salesman come into your home, to give you a pitch and he/she brings samples and has a little presentation, please know that their commission on your remodel job is sometimes as high as 20%. That means if you buy a kitchen remodel for $20,000, your salesperson just took home up to $4,000 of your money just for selling you this ripoff remodel and sitting in your house for a few hours. That’s $4k you could use for all top of the line, new appliances. Also, when it comes to cabinet refacing, it’s a waste of f**king money. They work so hard to spin the information to make you believe that you’re getting this incredible service when, in reality, the ONLY benefit is that they can remodel the kitchen in like 3-4 days versus a couple weeks if you pay a contractor to do it properly. I have had customers show me a bid from a contractor for, literally, half the price of refacing and they would receive an actual full remodel with all new cabinets. The sales process is dishonest. You are taught to bend the truth as far as possible without technically lying but THEN, once you start working with the salesman who have been there a while, you are taught to full on lie and cheat and, basically, steal from people. This comes in the form of over-measuring everything. Countertops. Cabinets. Flooring. Everything is measured keeping a huge cushion so when the customer inevitably tries to haggle with you, you can bring the price down and still make money. This type of stuff is so pervasive in virtually 100% of in-Home sales. Solar panels, windows, vacuum cleaners, security systems - you are getting ripped off. Your haggling skills don’t mean s**t because these people eat, breathe, sleep thinking about clever ways to rip you off. True salesman are sharks who adore money and nothing will stop them from getting yours. It’s totally crooked but because it’s a deeply engrained mentality in the entire sales culture, it’s hard to weed out the few good ones. TL;DR - In-Home sales are a huge ripoff at best and a legit scam at worst. Save your money and try to find companies who simply give normal estimates without a big dog and pony show with some dickhead wearing pleated khakis, a polo shirt and briefcase showing up at your door. Real workmen wear regular clothes. NOTE: Home Depot, I told your CEO, your national HR director and your legal team that I would do everything I could to sink your stupid cabinet refacing ship. I worked out of the HDI San Antonio office and you know how bad you f**ked me and all those other hopeful salespeople by being dishonest about earnings. Come at me bro.
Former-Employees-Company-Secrets
At a movie theater where I used to work, at the end of the night, we would collect all the unsold popcorn and stuff it into these enormous yellow trash bags. The next morning, yesterday's popcorn was the first to go in the warmer. My boss said that popcorn was fine to reheat and serve for up to a week. We never dated the bags, though (bags that we were not allowed to throw away. We reused them all the time) so there was literally no way to know how old the popcorn was. Not as horrifying as some stuff here, but I thought it was kinda gross.
Former-Employees-Company-Secrets
My first job was at a French bakery. It's a decent sized chain in the states. A list of their transgressions against humanity: I watched a pizza come out of the oven and fall toppings-side-down on an unusually filthy kitchen floor. This was on Mother's Day (busiest day of the year for a place like this) so it was scraped up (as instructed by a manager) and tossed back in the oven with a little extra cheese to hide all the c**p stuck to it. I was made to serve this to a lovely older lady and it haunts me to this day. The cow. Holy f**k, the cow. This was what we called a huge fridge-sized milk dispenser that was never cleaned well. One day someone dragged this disgusting bastard out from the alcove it was in and, surprise surprise, nobody had cleaned under or behind it for months if not years. There was a several-inch-thick layer of spoiled milk with a technicolor carpet of mold across it. Makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. At 16 I was given the prestigious position of baking all of the bread / pastries / etc.. It was all frozen and it was not at all uncommon for me to find years old boxes in the freezer. Those were all cooked and served. Now, their transgressions against me: I was sealed in a human sized proofing oven for about an hour because of a faulty door. It was on, at a low temp / high humidity, but STILL. There was an actual oven with doors that opened like a kitchen cabinet (swinging open horizontally rather than open vertically) and it was placed around a corner at a high traffic area. Well, those doors did not move independently - they were linked so if you close or open one the other closed. I was leaned way into the f**ker and guess what? Someone closed one of the doors as they were coming around which closed the other door as well. This resulted in me getting closed in and it was at about 450f. I struggled out by pressing the sides of my forearms against the doors resulting in pretty severe burns as big as a two computer mice on each forearm. I was made to complete my shift. Boxes in the freezer were stacked waaaay too high resulting in an avalanche of frozen cookie dough burying me in that b***h. I had to bang on the wall with my foot for about 20 mins before the sauté cook came and dug me out. Manager didn't give a f**k. Allow me to conclude this by saying that I worked in several other restaurants during my young life and NEVER came across anything REMOTELY like this again. I've never seen a waiter or bartender f**k with another person's food - as far as I'm concerned that's a myth. I've never seen such atrocious cleaning practices anywhere else, not even close.
Class-Reunion-Horror-Stories
The class officers did a 5 year reunion on Thanksgiving weekend at a local bar. They only invited who they had liked (30-40 people). One of the people they didn't invite had become a police officer who talked his superviser into running a DUI checkpoint. Almost half the people who went ended up going to jail that night. Two of the organizers ended up with drug charges as well as DWIs. The 10 year started off better, but still ended up being a cluster f**k. They decided to go with a picnic the same place we had our senior picnic. One of the class officers had started a catering company and gave themselves the job. About 1/3 of the people ended up with food poisoning. Thankfully covid caused our 20 year to be canceled.
Things-Girls-Shouldnt-Be-Insecure-About
Wearing the same dress again. Nobody cares except other insecure women.
Things-Girls-Shouldnt-Be-Insecure-About
I asked my husband this question, so here's his answer: Weight gain. Not seriously obese or lack of caring for health, but don't worry about a little extra fluff. So go ahead, eat that pizza slice(s) you're secretly eyeing! This one is a big one for me because I gained due to birth control and a couple years of poor eating when we went through money struggles. Now we're having our second and final child, so I've been extra insecure with all these body changes and gaining weight. Of course he's on board with me wanting to lose weight and get back to where I was, but he always tells me I'm beautiful and he loves every bit of me. He has never made me feel bad for my body
Things-Girls-Shouldnt-Be-Insecure-About
Not a man, but a lesbian, so I think I can provide some input here. Anything genital related - pubic hair grooming standards, labia size, shape, colour, etc. Everyone is a little different, and I nor any woman I've ever slept with, or any man in any of the guy talk I've been privy to as a lesbian (always a little weird to be a part of), has ever cared about any of it. Whatever you were born with is completely natural and beautiful. And if you want to rock a full bush, or go completely bald, or do a landing strip, or whatever your little heart desires, you do you and anyone in a position to see it is just going to be glad they're in that position.
Things-Girls-Shouldnt-Be-Insecure-About
I personally want to find the person that told women freckles should be covered up and I don’t want to hurt anyone so I’ll just have a strongly worded conversation with them. Maybe it’s just me, but I have a serious weakness for freckles. From a dusting across the bridge of a woman’s nose to head-to-toe ginger freckles. I think they’re gorgeous.Strange-Things-People-Caught-Doing
Having an argument with my houseplants about their watering schedules. They had their own voices too.
Strange-Things-People-Caught-Doing
It was 3am and 15 year old me was taking a [poop] and got a blood nose. Now for context, I get real bad nose bleeds and usually just keep my head up and it goes away. Well I was bored. So I thought, “what if I just keep my head down and let it drip?” I know... very stupid. Blood was all over the floor. I had every intent to just clean it up with tissues and flush it, no evidence of my little experiment. What I didnt know was that my mum was actually awake and was waiting for me to finish in the toilet for her turn. I didnt lock the door because it was 3am and I didnt think I needed to. Well... she opens the door... “SemenDemon16 why are you taking so l-“ She sees the blood, starts freaking tf out. Thinks I’m either dead or dying. I start yelling trying to explain myself. Mum starts crying thinking shes gonna lose her son. My sister walks out her room from the crying and the yelling. Sees the blood. Freaks tf out as well. After a bit of panic I eventually explained my stupid experiment. I cleaned it up and we all went to bed. But I dont think anybody slept after that traumatic experience.
Strange-Things-People-Caught-Doing
I was a kid and creeped out by cousin's creepy doll, one morning me and the doll were alone in her room and I grabbed the doll and started to shake it and while I was yelling at it that I knew it could talk, my cousin walked in and was like what are you doing?? And I brought the doll close to me and caressed it and said I was just kidding. She kept the doll away from me after that
Strange-Things-People-Caught-Doing
I was like 13 or 14 in my room alone, my window wide opened, when I started to wonder if I ever got kissed what the other person would be seeing from their perspective, so I went up to my closet, which had those floor length mirrors and I started kissing the mirror, opening my eyes every once in a while to see if I looked at all attractive doing this, one of those times I opened my eyes I saw my brother outside my wide open window through the mirror looking at me with such a confused look on his face, I screamed and fell to the floor and hid in my room for a while.
Strange-Things-People-Caught-Doing
Oh man. So I must have been about 12. I was in the car with my mom - to set the scene it was a three row soccer mom van and I was in the second row behind the passenger seat with my mom driving. Well since I was 12 I got my random hormone boner, strange and awkward enough right? Well I decide that I would pretend I was driving and that my boner was the stick shift... mom caught me.
Secrets-People-Never-Told-Anyone
I had a counselor who straight up turned some of my Ds to Bs when I changed schools before my senior year. I had a super rough home life and I told her about it when she asked why my test scores were very high and my grades were low. Thanks to her bumping up my GPA, I was able to get into college. I know it’s probably not 'right' and she risked her job, but that woman legit probably saved my life. I saw her about a year ago out in public and gave her the biggest hug.
Secrets-People-Never-Told-Anyone
I know exactly the rules for helping the children in my public education classroom but I still bring cold kids coats, hungry kids food, kids with terrible shoes better shoes, and hugs/long conversations for any child that asks. If any admin is pissed I’m giving a apple and a sandwich to a kid, I claim ignorance, the school system is so strained they won’t fire me so I am doing what I can during this time.
Secrets-People-Never-Told-Anyone
One time when I was 10-12 ish, I told a group of friends that I brushed my teeth with hot water instead of cold water (our cultural norm) just to seem quirky or cool, and man did it get the reaction I was hoping for. However, it was all a lie. I did brush with cold water. And this lie was too heavy for my pre-teen soul, so every day since then I have brushed my teeth with hot water, despite being 15 years older. I feel trapped in my hot teeth scrubbing sentence yet it feels right as a punishment for lying.
Secrets-People-Never-Told-Anyone
When I was a kid, I farted into a little box over and over for a full year. It was a tin some christmas cookies came in with a picture of Santa on it. Every single time I had to fart, I lifted the lid, “put it in the box”, and quickly closed it. Before long, the box was successfully weaponized and ready for deployment. When my brother was mean to me, I’d steal his Oakleys (expensive horrible 90’s sunglasses) and put them in the box to, um, marinate overnight. Then I’d quietly return them. My brother continually complained to my mom about how they smelled and that they’d sold him “a bad pair,” and wanted new ones. She was like hell no dude. So he just kept wearing them til they broke. So basically I farted into my brother’s eyes for a year. Never told anyone.
Secrets-People-Never-Told-Anyone
When I was about 8-9 I was sent to a summer camp for 1 month. My sister, who was 14, also was there. Never been away from my parents before. This camp was located around Lake Delton wisconsin. I remember the cabins in the woods. Now I don't know if I had arachnophobia before this experience, but I recall that the toilet stalls had dozens of daddy longleg spiders all over, and I was so scared I just held It in for about 4-5 days. Well.. One day I just couldn't hold it anymore and had to make a run for the toilets. I semi ran/walked to The toilets, trying to hold it in, made it In to the main area where the sinks are and just couldn't hold it anymore and just quickly, with one hand, pulled down my pants from behind and dropped the biggest dump on the tile floor, all while still in motion towards the toilet. Thank God no one was in there to see this. When I stepped out, a large group had formed out side and inside one of the staff was covering his face with one hand and holding a hoes in the other.No one suspected me.. .. I thanked God that no one found this out as if they had, the rest of my stay there would have been utter torment. Fast forward about 30 years.. Im at my parents house with my wife.. My sister is there as well, brothers. Anyway.. We're talking and camp comes up. Told her that it was Me who did that... She nearly laughed to death, Saying "the entire camp talked about this all summer". Hate spiders up until this day. Good times.
Subtle-Signs-Someone-Is-Intelligent-Sharp
I think there are so many different types of intelligence that it’s hard to narrow down one defining trait. Social intelligence, spatial intelligence, problem solving, etc. I’m from a very rural area with a high poverty rate. I grew up working on a cattle ranch. One of the guys I worked with had to drop out of school in 4th grade to work full time doing agricultural work for his family. He had to work really hard as an adult to reach even a 6th grade reading level. He doesn’t read for pleasure, and by the standards of an educated, urban person, he’d be considered pretty ignorant. However, he can build anything. Fences, mechanical things, buildings, sprinkler systems, you name it. He’s funny as hell, and as a kid working around him I had no idea he was barely literate until his 30s. One of my brothers is absolutely brilliant. Well read, follows world politics, works in IT at a high level. He’s the smartest person I know, easily, in terms of processing complicated information and retaining it in a useful way. He could absolutely build a computer, but put him on a horse and ask him to go get cattle off the back forty or repair a fence and… no way. He’s also good company, but not always the most socially adept, in that he has almost no street smarts and doesn’t understand concepts like flattery, or other mostly harmless ways that people manipulate those around them as a social lubricant. Which one of them is smarter? Depends on what you need them to accomplish.
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Jake • upvoted 20 items 2 years ago
Ridiculous-Names-Parents-Gave-Their-Children
Well... let's just say that the state I live in doesn't have a significant english-speaking population, especially in the rural regions, despite the official language of the country ( India) being English and most of the urban population being educated. However; I have friends whose parents gave them names like "Benadryl", "Goodbye", "Very helpful" and the absolute worst "Dishwasher". This, however is because people from the rural regions ( especially in the North-East) come to the cities, and see words in ads and billboards that they find pretty and innocently name their children after a variety of brands. I don't always blame them, I had a family friend who came off as very posh and educated, spoke perfect English... but named his daughter Darth Vader. Some of them are just trolling. Do not underestimate people of the hills; they don't take your bullshit, educated or otherwise.Former-Employees-Company-Secrets
My first job was at a French bakery. It's a decent sized chain in the states. A list of their transgressions against humanity: I watched a pizza come out of the oven and fall toppings-side-down on an unusually filthy kitchen floor. This was on Mother's Day (busiest day of the year for a place like this) so it was scraped up (as instructed by a manager) and tossed back in the oven with a little extra cheese to hide all the c**p stuck to it. I was made to serve this to a lovely older lady and it haunts me to this day. The cow. Holy f**k, the cow. This was what we called a huge fridge-sized milk dispenser that was never cleaned well. One day someone dragged this disgusting bastard out from the alcove it was in and, surprise surprise, nobody had cleaned under or behind it for months if not years. There was a several-inch-thick layer of spoiled milk with a technicolor carpet of mold across it. Makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. At 16 I was given the prestigious position of baking all of the bread / pastries / etc.. It was all frozen and it was not at all uncommon for me to find years old boxes in the freezer. Those were all cooked and served. Now, their transgressions against me: I was sealed in a human sized proofing oven for about an hour because of a faulty door. It was on, at a low temp / high humidity, but STILL. There was an actual oven with doors that opened like a kitchen cabinet (swinging open horizontally rather than open vertically) and it was placed around a corner at a high traffic area. Well, those doors did not move independently - they were linked so if you close or open one the other closed. I was leaned way into the f**ker and guess what? Someone closed one of the doors as they were coming around which closed the other door as well. This resulted in me getting closed in and it was at about 450f. I struggled out by pressing the sides of my forearms against the doors resulting in pretty severe burns as big as a two computer mice on each forearm. I was made to complete my shift. Boxes in the freezer were stacked waaaay too high resulting in an avalanche of frozen cookie dough burying me in that b***h. I had to bang on the wall with my foot for about 20 mins before the sauté cook came and dug me out. Manager didn't give a f**k. Allow me to conclude this by saying that I worked in several other restaurants during my young life and NEVER came across anything REMOTELY like this again. I've never seen a waiter or bartender f**k with another person's food - as far as I'm concerned that's a myth. I've never seen such atrocious cleaning practices anywhere else, not even close.Former-Employees-Company-Secrets
At a movie theater where I used to work, at the end of the night, we would collect all the unsold popcorn and stuff it into these enormous yellow trash bags. The next morning, yesterday's popcorn was the first to go in the warmer. My boss said that popcorn was fine to reheat and serve for up to a week. We never dated the bags, though (bags that we were not allowed to throw away. We reused them all the time) so there was literally no way to know how old the popcorn was. Not as horrifying as some stuff here, but I thought it was kinda gross.Former-Employees-Company-Secrets
I’ve been waiting a while for a thread like this. F**k Home Depot. They have a department called Home Depot Interiors - do not have your home remodeled by HDI, people, come on. The specific department I worked for was Cabinet Refacing. I was a salesman for about 4-5 months before I got the f**k out of there. Here’s the deal: Any time you have a salesman come into your home, to give you a pitch and he/she brings samples and has a little presentation, please know that their commission on your remodel job is sometimes as high as 20%. That means if you buy a kitchen remodel for $20,000, your salesperson just took home up to $4,000 of your money just for selling you this ripoff remodel and sitting in your house for a few hours. That’s $4k you could use for all top of the line, new appliances. Also, when it comes to cabinet refacing, it’s a waste of f**king money. They work so hard to spin the information to make you believe that you’re getting this incredible service when, in reality, the ONLY benefit is that they can remodel the kitchen in like 3-4 days versus a couple weeks if you pay a contractor to do it properly. I have had customers show me a bid from a contractor for, literally, half the price of refacing and they would receive an actual full remodel with all new cabinets. The sales process is dishonest. You are taught to bend the truth as far as possible without technically lying but THEN, once you start working with the salesman who have been there a while, you are taught to full on lie and cheat and, basically, steal from people. This comes in the form of over-measuring everything. Countertops. Cabinets. Flooring. Everything is measured keeping a huge cushion so when the customer inevitably tries to haggle with you, you can bring the price down and still make money. This type of stuff is so pervasive in virtually 100% of in-Home sales. Solar panels, windows, vacuum cleaners, security systems - you are getting ripped off. Your haggling skills don’t mean s**t because these people eat, breathe, sleep thinking about clever ways to rip you off. True salesman are sharks who adore money and nothing will stop them from getting yours. It’s totally crooked but because it’s a deeply engrained mentality in the entire sales culture, it’s hard to weed out the few good ones. TL;DR - In-Home sales are a huge ripoff at best and a legit scam at worst. Save your money and try to find companies who simply give normal estimates without a big dog and pony show with some dickhead wearing pleated khakis, a polo shirt and briefcase showing up at your door. Real workmen wear regular clothes. NOTE: Home Depot, I told your CEO, your national HR director and your legal team that I would do everything I could to sink your stupid cabinet refacing ship. I worked out of the HDI San Antonio office and you know how bad you f**ked me and all those other hopeful salespeople by being dishonest about earnings. Come at me bro.Class-Reunion-Horror-Stories
The class officers did a 5 year reunion on Thanksgiving weekend at a local bar. They only invited who they had liked (30-40 people). One of the people they didn't invite had become a police officer who talked his superviser into running a DUI checkpoint. Almost half the people who went ended up going to jail that night. Two of the organizers ended up with drug charges as well as DWIs. The 10 year started off better, but still ended up being a cluster f**k. They decided to go with a picnic the same place we had our senior picnic. One of the class officers had started a catering company and gave themselves the job. About 1/3 of the people ended up with food poisoning. Thankfully covid caused our 20 year to be canceled.Things-Girls-Shouldnt-Be-Insecure-About
Not a man, but a lesbian, so I think I can provide some input here. Anything genital related - pubic hair grooming standards, labia size, shape, colour, etc. Everyone is a little different, and I nor any woman I've ever slept with, or any man in any of the guy talk I've been privy to as a lesbian (always a little weird to be a part of), has ever cared about any of it. Whatever you were born with is completely natural and beautiful. And if you want to rock a full bush, or go completely bald, or do a landing strip, or whatever your little heart desires, you do you and anyone in a position to see it is just going to be glad they're in that position.Things-Girls-Shouldnt-Be-Insecure-About
I personally want to find the person that told women freckles should be covered up and I don’t want to hurt anyone so I’ll just have a strongly worded conversation with them. Maybe it’s just me, but I have a serious weakness for freckles. From a dusting across the bridge of a woman’s nose to head-to-toe ginger freckles. I think they’re gorgeous.Things-Girls-Shouldnt-Be-Insecure-About
Wearing the same dress again. Nobody cares except other insecure women.Things-Girls-Shouldnt-Be-Insecure-About
I asked my husband this question, so here's his answer: Weight gain. Not seriously obese or lack of caring for health, but don't worry about a little extra fluff. So go ahead, eat that pizza slice(s) you're secretly eyeing! This one is a big one for me because I gained due to birth control and a couple years of poor eating when we went through money struggles. Now we're having our second and final child, so I've been extra insecure with all these body changes and gaining weight. Of course he's on board with me wanting to lose weight and get back to where I was, but he always tells me I'm beautiful and he loves every bit of me. He has never made me feel bad for my bodyStrange-Things-People-Caught-Doing
I was a kid and creeped out by cousin's creepy doll, one morning me and the doll were alone in her room and I grabbed the doll and started to shake it and while I was yelling at it that I knew it could talk, my cousin walked in and was like what are you doing?? And I brought the doll close to me and caressed it and said I was just kidding. She kept the doll away from me after thatStrange-Things-People-Caught-Doing
Oh man. So I must have been about 12. I was in the car with my mom - to set the scene it was a three row soccer mom van and I was in the second row behind the passenger seat with my mom driving. Well since I was 12 I got my random hormone boner, strange and awkward enough right? Well I decide that I would pretend I was driving and that my boner was the stick shift... mom caught me.Strange-Things-People-Caught-Doing
Having an argument with my houseplants about their watering schedules. They had their own voices too.Strange-Things-People-Caught-Doing
It was 3am and 15 year old me was taking a [poop] and got a blood nose. Now for context, I get real bad nose bleeds and usually just keep my head up and it goes away. Well I was bored. So I thought, “what if I just keep my head down and let it drip?” I know... very stupid. Blood was all over the floor. I had every intent to just clean it up with tissues and flush it, no evidence of my little experiment. What I didnt know was that my mum was actually awake and was waiting for me to finish in the toilet for her turn. I didnt lock the door because it was 3am and I didnt think I needed to. Well... she opens the door... “SemenDemon16 why are you taking so l-“ She sees the blood, starts freaking tf out. Thinks I’m either dead or dying. I start yelling trying to explain myself. Mum starts crying thinking shes gonna lose her son. My sister walks out her room from the crying and the yelling. Sees the blood. Freaks tf out as well. After a bit of panic I eventually explained my stupid experiment. I cleaned it up and we all went to bed. But I dont think anybody slept after that traumatic experience.Strange-Things-People-Caught-Doing
I was like 13 or 14 in my room alone, my window wide opened, when I started to wonder if I ever got kissed what the other person would be seeing from their perspective, so I went up to my closet, which had those floor length mirrors and I started kissing the mirror, opening my eyes every once in a while to see if I looked at all attractive doing this, one of those times I opened my eyes I saw my brother outside my wide open window through the mirror looking at me with such a confused look on his face, I screamed and fell to the floor and hid in my room for a while.
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