My father's side of the family had "the help" all the way up until the 70s or so.

Their family employed a black woman who resided in a separate part of the home, did almost all the cooking, cleaning, babysat my father and his siblings, etc.

But she was not permitted to eat at the same time as my father's family - to say the least. There was an extremely small room off the kitchen she was allowed to eat in by herself after the family had finished their meal.

With that said - after my grandparents passed away, my father allocated a portion of his inheritance to her so she would no longer have to work. It wasn't living lavishly or anything - but it was enough to get by. He also insisted absolutely that she be included on family events like holidays and birthdays, because she was also family. I grew up viewing her as like a great aunt.

One weird little thing we all do but rarely talk about is replaying imaginary arguments or conversations in our heads, often coming up with the perfect comeback we wish we'd said at the time.