"I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

"What's the other one named?"

I watched Mary Poppins when I was four, and didn't get that joke until I was 30.

In “Cars” Lightning tells Mater that Doc won the Piston Cup 3 times!

Mater responds with, “He did what in his cup?!”.

Mrs. Doubtfire, when Daniel (as Doubtfire) is talking to Stuart about Miranda, "She has a power tool in the bedroom. It's her own personal jackhammer; she can break sidewalk with it! I'm amazed she hasn't chipped her teeth!"

I saw this movie in the theater when it came out, and I was 8 years old, so I didn't know about vibrators at the time and didn't ask. My best guess at the time was that he was trying to scare Stuart by saying she has some kind of weapon, like keeping a gun or baseball bat next to the bed.

The Dude listening to Creedence's "My Back Door" after getting a physical.

ImNotThaaatDrunk:

I was today years old when I made that connection.

When the hunter buys the gun in Jumanji and the salesman says "you're not a postal worker, are you?". I think I thought he was just making fun of his clothes, I had no idea what "going postal" was.

Addams Family Values. When Wednesday's sort-of-boyfriend is showing her his collection of serial k*ller baseball cards, he says "I've got 'em all. I'm only missing Jack the Ripper and that Zodiac guy."

Jack the Ripper and the Zodiac were two serial k*llers who were never caught.

The scene in Grease where Kenickie refers to a condom as a "25 cent insurance policy".

It took me 30 years watching Wayne's World to realize why Noah's Arcade promotes they have two of every game. Yknow. Like Noah's Arc.

I have a friend who worked in a daycare right out of college."

"There was a baby who came in everyday dirty and hungry, so when she changed the baby's diaper at the end of the day she would write the date and time on the diaper with a sharpie."

"That baby came back the next day with the same diaper.... 12 hours later. After a few days of that she called CPS.

I'm a teacher, not a babysitter. But, when kids are afraid to go home or have their parents contacted about anything, there is something going on that raises red flags (and will, possibly, leave the kid fu**ed up for years to come).

I had a student a few years ago who broke down in tears in front of me, begging me not to email his mom. He had cheated on a test and was so scared of his mother finding out that, after the crying, he threw up in the trash can.

If you are that scared of your parents, then something is majorly wrong.

I babysat for my apartment complex when i was younger, practically running a day care out of my apartment. I had this one boy, Max, who was just reckless with everything. He would listen to me, but any time one of the others needed attention, he’d disregard me and what I’d told him. I stopped this kid from getting multiple concussions, I made sure he didn’t play in traffic, but the one day he had an attitude and wouldn’t hold my hand when crossing the street, s**t hit the fan. People would speed through the complex, and a large SUV ended up hitting him while I was trying to get him out of the way (difficult with 8 other kids). It wasn’t just some rando either... it was his OWN MOTHER that hit him!!! She had me stop babysitting until he was back on his feet and terrorizing her again, but I wasn’t gonna take responsibility of this wild child and any potential injuries that came to him under my watch. He was a good kid, just did stupid s**t constantly, like trying to dive in the shallow end of a pool, jumping out of trees that are 15 ft up, running up to any and all dogs to pet them (i was a dog sitter too and there were 4 or 5 dogs in the complex that were too aggressive for him to be doing that), and it was genuinely a matter of when, not if, he was going to get hurt again and I can’t defend myself for his injuries.

Not a babysitter, but a Paraprofessional at an Elementary School. First Grade teacher goes around the classroom asking the kids what they want to be when they grow up. One of the boys says "I want to go to prison like my Dad!".

Baby sat a kid. That kid is 8, all she does all day is watch youtube videos. Her parents don't care that youtube is just taking her down wormholes - so she now believes that the world is flat and she's obsessed with watching people open these weird dolls that have a gazillion plastic parts. Her parents buy them for her and she opens them and discards them. She is 8 and still has temper tantrums cause her parents reward them, and her parents who don't really like each other much, neither of them provide any discipline what so ever. Babysat once, once was enough - cause I said no to her and she hit me. Cause her parents have never said no and she has never had consequences for her behavior. Kid don't have any real friends - cause her parents gave her no instructions in how to be a real human being. It's a shame.

Honestly, parents who don't care about the kid's education, for whatever reason. Probably, the parent didn't graduate high school in the first place and doesn't place a whole lot of value in education. Many of those kids (source: former teacher) end up working at McDonald's or struggling to find some other work. They don't even get into trades because you have to go to some kind of school for those, and school just isn't something they can "do".

This happened with my step-daughter, who is an absolutely wonderful person but her mom never cared how she did in school or even if she went. Hence her trying to make a living now at 25 by working in day cares, which does NOT pay very well. She wants to do other things but they'd all require school and she just says "I hate school.".

When I was around 12 I'd babysit this family with 4 kids, usually for around 9 hours at a time. The older two were manipulative a******s who would convince the younger two(twins) to do what they wanted knowing that the twins would be the only ones punished. I caught on pretty fast, partially because I got the chance to babysit the twins alone and they were angels. The oldest especially scared the hell out of me, she was a monster, I'd regularly call my mom crying and begging for help because she stopped bothering to try to seem like a good kid after I started punishing all four of them when the older two got the twins into trouble, and she knew I saw through her. She was regularly on the front of the town paper for doing nice things, and went to church etc, so everybody who didn't know her well loved her. She is a teenager now and is still a manipulative person who tries to ruin peoples lives if she doesn't get her way.

Another kid I worry about is a total sweetheart, but he seems to have a very addictive personality and is incredibly competitive. His gaming time has to be very carefully regulated or it will completely take over his life and he'll start getting anger issues. He can't stand losing games to the point where he kicked the board over and stormed off crying when we played snakes and ladders because I landed on a ladder, despite still only being half as far along the board as him.

Edit: Also the two boys around 5 and 7 who made a game the revolved around trying to grab my boobs. I don't really know what I expected after their 13 year old sister/my classmate told me she had trained the 2 year old to fetch her beer on demand.