I've got a good one. It's long but bear with me.

So a couple of years ago when I was managing a pub, I interviewed a lovely girl and it was all going great-loads of experience, seemed smiley and chipper in general, just what we needed-until we got to discussing shift patterns and hours requirements.

This girl was a student so she just wanted part time hours. Great, she could fill in our busy periods at the weekends, I thought, but she actually wanted Monday to Wednesday shifts preferably in the daytime. WTF! I closed my diary and said unless she can give us one weekend night and one weekend day shift then we can't proceed as this is a city centre pub and those are our busy periods.

Out of the blue, her personality completely changed and she flipped her lid at me, saying I was exploiting students and that a large part of going to Uni was having a social life, which I wouldn't understand. She said that I was just another corrupt manager taking advantage of young people and the reason I worked in a pub was because no one would hire me because I was too stupid and didn't have an education like her.

Now I'm used to dealing with drunk, angry people so a whiny, 20 year old wouldn't normally touch the sides but she'd touched a nerve and I was fuming. I stood up and roared "How dare you? I have a Russell Group education which I notice you do not and I choose to work here because I normally enjoy it. Now GET THE F**K OUT!" Off she went, tail between her legs.

This wasn't the end of it though, oh no.

A couple of weeks later, we'd had a really busy Saturday night so I decided to take my guys out for a post-work pint. They 'd worked hard, they deserved it. Who should be working in the bar we went to but Weekday Only girl-on a Saturday night at 1.30am no less. She saw me and was clearly uncomfortable with my presence but she avoided me so all cool. A couple of rounds in though, I was at the bar and I saw WDO girl turn to the Manager, talking frantically and pointing in my direction. She was really worked up about something.

It's a good time to point out that on our little strip of pubs, bars and restaurants, all the Managers know each other, talk to each other and are very supportive in general. It's a lovely community.

So the Manager finishes what he was doing and goes back of house with WDO. Not long after, she emerges, in tears, with her coat and bag in hand and is escorted off the bar. As she walks past me she picks up a full pint and chucks it in my face and screams that I'm a f*****g b***h. I'm stunned but she leaves and I attempt to dry myself off. As I'm doing so, the Manager explained to me that she had gone to him saying that she'd seen me selling d***s in the toilets and that I'd threatened her with a beating if she told the doormen or Manager, and that I should be removed and barred. He'd taken her off the bar, tore her a new one and sacked her on the spot.

Needless to say we both spent the next couple of week's making sure no one in the area hired this girl. Interestingly two of those places had already trialed her and thought she was lovely like I did.

What a psycho!

Last week I couldn't find my phone, so I looked down to the phone in my hand and started to try the Find My Phone thing when... oh.

(I swear I'm at least reasonably intelligent.).

American's intelligence

Edit: as a German just f**k you. You still look at Germany and point your finger at us. Asking us how WWII happened. Now look into the f*****g mirror. THIS is how it happened. If he pushes his project 2025 through then you will have THE EXACT same thing but on a MUCH larger scale.

I love telling this story.

I worked retail for 8+ years, so I've got stories. This one particular day, we were kind of dead. I was stuck at the service desk and this nice little old man came in and shuffled up to the counter. I smiled and greeted him, he returned the smile and explained to me that he wanted the information on one of the sofas we were selling at the time. His wife was stuck at home and he wanted the dimensions, the fabric type, etc.

So, I grabbed some receipt paper and a pen. I walked over to the sofa he was interested in and began writing the information. He stiffened and let out an audible "OH..." I apologized and asked if I had done something wrong... he goes, "you're left handed... you... are a *COMMUNIST*!"

He then shuffled his elderly butt back out the door and across the parking lot. While I stood there just like 😶...

I never got angry with him, but it was incredibly hilarious and out of left field.