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Mother of Dragons
Community Member
1 posts
103 comments
1.2K upvotes
438 points
This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
Mother of Dragons • commented on a post 6 days ago
Mother of Dragons • upvoted 36 items 1 month ago
tooscaredtospeakup reply
Nice guy story where I was the nice guy. To this day I feel terrible for my actions. This started 12 years ago when I was 19 years old.
Met a girl at a club, hit it off right away and she ended up being my girlfriend. At the start everything was fantastic, we were genuinely happy together and I was in a constant state of not believing my luck of having found a girl as awesome as her.
About one month in, I did something very stupid. I met another girl, we had drinks and ended up sleeping together. Instead of coming clean with awesome girl nr1 I decided to keep it to myself. All was fine, except for a little lingering voice which said that if I could do such a thing, surely she could as well.
This voice grew louder over time. I started joking about her seeing other guys, you know those half-jokes which arent funny at all and mainly make the other person feel bad. I started checking her phone, reading her socials etc. At some point I was certain she was cheating on me, eventhough there were no signs of it whatsoever. I started cutting her off from her friends (especially male friends) and getting angry if she did not respond to my texts inquiring where she was, with who and why she was not home. I started doing surprise visits and getting really angry with her if there happened to be male friends in in her vicinity, even if they were in big groups. My reasoning with her was always that what we had was special and that she shouldnt want to spend her time with anyone else than just us. Manipulative as I was, I'd change tactics in the span of minutes, being real nice and friendly one moment only to catch her off guard and get furious an instant later. I'd use my kindness to get information, trapping her in a constant cycle of guilt.
Fast forward a bit, we've been together for a year now and she has gone to uni making new friends. We are fighting every day now. One time I leave her house after a fight and realize I forgot my phone. I go back in (i hade her keys) and found her crying in her room. A moment of clarity struck and I broke up with her, justifying it to myself as a messiah act.
Surely this would have been the end of it, but nope. What followed was 3 years of me texting her, calling her, trying to figure out if she was seeing anyone and getting real angry when she was. It just did not stop. Even if we did not meet up for a few months and I had somehow convinced her I had changed, I'd end up doing the same thing over again on the very same day that we met up. As in, surely if she saw how nice I was now she should want me back. So why doesn't she? Insert guilt trip etc. This went on for years and it k****d me. I saw what I was doing to her and felt horrible for it. But that voice and entitlement kept popping up so every time she offered me friendship, I'd unleash the guilt trip.
At some point it stopped. I started analyzing my own actions in this and shut off all contact with her or anyone of her friends (which were also my friends). I just forced it all away and every time I felt this voice popping up, I'd try to analyze where this entitlement was coming from so that I could fight it. I can't really explain how it ended up going away, other than the fact that one day I noticed I did not feel these things anymore.
For a long time I refused any form of romance with anyone, afraid that I would start the cycle again. After some time I did meet someone else, we've been very happily together for seven years now. When we started dating I was very open about all this, which I think helped a lot. I rarely feel these pangs of jealousy pop up anymore. When they do, I know they are not rational and I can shrug it off with ease now. Its something that won't ever fully go away but I know it's all me and I know where to find help when needed.
I wanted to share this here not for sympathy or whatever, maybe just to show how creepy the mind can act from a first person perspective. I feel terrible for what I have done to another person, nobody is entitled to another person's love, attention or affection.
To those who are currently in a situation like this on the receiving end: walk away, cease contact, break it off. People don't change overnight. Even after years it can still linger on, buried deep in the mind. And ultimately it's personal responsibility to face your demons and do something about it, don't get guilted into becoming the pillar of stability for another person to hang on to. The best thing you can do for the both of you is walk away.
tooscaredtospeakup reply
Nice guy story where I was the nice guy. To this day I feel terrible for my actions. This started 12 years ago when I was 19 years old.
Met a girl at a club, hit it off right away and she ended up being my girlfriend. At the start everything was fantastic, we were genuinely happy together and I was in a constant state of not believing my luck of having found a girl as awesome as her.
About one month in, I did something very stupid. I met another girl, we had drinks and ended up sleeping together. Instead of coming clean with awesome girl nr1 I decided to keep it to myself. All was fine, except for a little lingering voice which said that if I could do such a thing, surely she could as well.
This voice grew louder over time. I started joking about her seeing other guys, you know those half-jokes which arent funny at all and mainly make the other person feel bad. I started checking her phone, reading her socials etc. At some point I was certain she was cheating on me, eventhough there were no signs of it whatsoever. I started cutting her off from her friends (especially male friends) and getting angry if she did not respond to my texts inquiring where she was, with who and why she was not home. I started doing surprise visits and getting really angry with her if there happened to be male friends in in her vicinity, even if they were in big groups. My reasoning with her was always that what we had was special and that she shouldnt want to spend her time with anyone else than just us. Manipulative as I was, I'd change tactics in the span of minutes, being real nice and friendly one moment only to catch her off guard and get furious an instant later. I'd use my kindness to get information, trapping her in a constant cycle of guilt.
Fast forward a bit, we've been together for a year now and she has gone to uni making new friends. We are fighting every day now. One time I leave her house after a fight and realize I forgot my phone. I go back in (i hade her keys) and found her crying in her room. A moment of clarity struck and I broke up with her, justifying it to myself as a messiah act.
Surely this would have been the end of it, but nope. What followed was 3 years of me texting her, calling her, trying to figure out if she was seeing anyone and getting real angry when she was. It just did not stop. Even if we did not meet up for a few months and I had somehow convinced her I had changed, I'd end up doing the same thing over again on the very same day that we met up. As in, surely if she saw how nice I was now she should want me back. So why doesn't she? Insert guilt trip etc. This went on for years and it k****d me. I saw what I was doing to her and felt horrible for it. But that voice and entitlement kept popping up so every time she offered me friendship, I'd unleash the guilt trip.
At some point it stopped. I started analyzing my own actions in this and shut off all contact with her or anyone of her friends (which were also my friends). I just forced it all away and every time I felt this voice popping up, I'd try to analyze where this entitlement was coming from so that I could fight it. I can't really explain how it ended up going away, other than the fact that one day I noticed I did not feel these things anymore.
For a long time I refused any form of romance with anyone, afraid that I would start the cycle again. After some time I did meet someone else, we've been very happily together for seven years now. When we started dating I was very open about all this, which I think helped a lot. I rarely feel these pangs of jealousy pop up anymore. When they do, I know they are not rational and I can shrug it off with ease now. Its something that won't ever fully go away but I know it's all me and I know where to find help when needed.
I wanted to share this here not for sympathy or whatever, maybe just to show how creepy the mind can act from a first person perspective. I feel terrible for what I have done to another person, nobody is entitled to another person's love, attention or affection.
To those who are currently in a situation like this on the receiving end: walk away, cease contact, break it off. People don't change overnight. Even after years it can still linger on, buried deep in the mind. And ultimately it's personal responsibility to face your demons and do something about it, don't get guilted into becoming the pillar of stability for another person to hang on to. The best thing you can do for the both of you is walk away.
DogsBeforeDudes- reply
That I’m in debt because my business is struggling (clients are struggling too so paying bills late) they think I’ve lost so much weight because I’m dieting when in reality it’s because I can’t afford food. Any money I get in I buy my dogs food so he never goes hungry. He always has a full belly and that’s the only thing that matters. .
Silver_Foxx reply
I make my living owning and running a small business that designs and sells custom plushies and apparel.
My family thinks I make my money crocheting, and I do make a few bucks here and there from my yarn work, but the absolute vast majority of my income comes from the custom made latex fetishwear and kink gear I produce.
adamcarrollmusic reply
Tl;dr I had a brain injury and I'm not the same. I wish I didn't know.
I wish I could forget the fact that I'm different from who I used to be. After receiving a brain injury in February 2020 I have both forgotten and relearned many things (even how to read).
I've recovered massively, but many of my old passions have become frustrating to me. I struggle reading maths, code, dense text etc. whereas I used to enjoy leading projects with friends and teaching others about Maths and Science. Although frustrating, I enjoy challenging myself to relearn these things and aim to return to my past skill level.
The real scary part is that I've fundamentally changed as a person. If I remember back to before the accident it's a different person to me. He (me?) acts in ways so alien to me that I feel I so sure never would have acted. Nothing to be ashamed of, they just weren't me. Very real relationships that I still feel strongly in my heart link to memories that feel completely fake to me, as though I'm watching some kind of movie. I even doubt their accuracy.
A person I considered a father figure and close friend passed away just before my accident and I spent my time in rehab not able to properly mourne. Sometimes I'd forget he'd passed away and other times I'd feel like an imposter for inheriting such important items from him. To me it's like I'm tarnishing his legacy. I know he wouldn't think that, but I want to be the old me again, since I can't - I wish I could at least forget that I've forgotten and changed so much.
sirdigbykittencaesar reply
My kids were 90s kids, and both of them had endless toys that operated on AA batteries. They had to ask me for new batteries, and I would make sure their old batteries really were dead before giving them new ones to keep our yearly battery consumption within reason. They never knew where I kept them until my daughter hit puberty and discovered a bunch of new packs of batteries stashed in a Tampax box in my bathroom. Luckily by then they had outgrown a lot of the battery-heavy toys.
Medium-Fan-6407 reply
Pugs and other similar dog breeds suffer all their lifes because of selective breeding, leading to the deformation of their faces, legs, bodies and skin, plus cardiac and respiratory issues.
I really hope they get extinct some day, I can't bear watching such an aberration of nature due to human vanity, no thing must suffer their entire life only to look "cute" or "adorable" or "luxury".
Chuckitinbro reply
I'm sure I remember Courtney Love and Drew Barrymore dating back in the 90s but apparently they were only ever just slightly flirty friends.
Reddit post
I always set my alarm clock to weird times like 8:52 am or 4:47pm because I don’t want less used numbers to be lonely or sad.
Show All 36 Upvotes
Mother of Dragons • upvoted 3 items 2 months ago
Show All 3 Upvotes
Mother of Dragons • submitted a new post 2 years ago
Mother of Dragons • submitted a list addition 1 year ago
Mother of Dragons • submitted 3 list additions 2 years ago
Mother of Dragons • commented on a post 6 days ago
Mother of Dragons • commented on 19 posts 2 months ago
Mother of Dragons • upvoted 20 items 1 month ago
tooscaredtospeakup reply
Nice guy story where I was the nice guy. To this day I feel terrible for my actions. This started 12 years ago when I was 19 years old.
Met a girl at a club, hit it off right away and she ended up being my girlfriend. At the start everything was fantastic, we were genuinely happy together and I was in a constant state of not believing my luck of having found a girl as awesome as her.
About one month in, I did something very stupid. I met another girl, we had drinks and ended up sleeping together. Instead of coming clean with awesome girl nr1 I decided to keep it to myself. All was fine, except for a little lingering voice which said that if I could do such a thing, surely she could as well.
This voice grew louder over time. I started joking about her seeing other guys, you know those half-jokes which arent funny at all and mainly make the other person feel bad. I started checking her phone, reading her socials etc. At some point I was certain she was cheating on me, eventhough there were no signs of it whatsoever. I started cutting her off from her friends (especially male friends) and getting angry if she did not respond to my texts inquiring where she was, with who and why she was not home. I started doing surprise visits and getting really angry with her if there happened to be male friends in in her vicinity, even if they were in big groups. My reasoning with her was always that what we had was special and that she shouldnt want to spend her time with anyone else than just us. Manipulative as I was, I'd change tactics in the span of minutes, being real nice and friendly one moment only to catch her off guard and get furious an instant later. I'd use my kindness to get information, trapping her in a constant cycle of guilt.
Fast forward a bit, we've been together for a year now and she has gone to uni making new friends. We are fighting every day now. One time I leave her house after a fight and realize I forgot my phone. I go back in (i hade her keys) and found her crying in her room. A moment of clarity struck and I broke up with her, justifying it to myself as a messiah act.
Surely this would have been the end of it, but nope. What followed was 3 years of me texting her, calling her, trying to figure out if she was seeing anyone and getting real angry when she was. It just did not stop. Even if we did not meet up for a few months and I had somehow convinced her I had changed, I'd end up doing the same thing over again on the very same day that we met up. As in, surely if she saw how nice I was now she should want me back. So why doesn't she? Insert guilt trip etc. This went on for years and it k****d me. I saw what I was doing to her and felt horrible for it. But that voice and entitlement kept popping up so every time she offered me friendship, I'd unleash the guilt trip.
At some point it stopped. I started analyzing my own actions in this and shut off all contact with her or anyone of her friends (which were also my friends). I just forced it all away and every time I felt this voice popping up, I'd try to analyze where this entitlement was coming from so that I could fight it. I can't really explain how it ended up going away, other than the fact that one day I noticed I did not feel these things anymore.
For a long time I refused any form of romance with anyone, afraid that I would start the cycle again. After some time I did meet someone else, we've been very happily together for seven years now. When we started dating I was very open about all this, which I think helped a lot. I rarely feel these pangs of jealousy pop up anymore. When they do, I know they are not rational and I can shrug it off with ease now. Its something that won't ever fully go away but I know it's all me and I know where to find help when needed.
I wanted to share this here not for sympathy or whatever, maybe just to show how creepy the mind can act from a first person perspective. I feel terrible for what I have done to another person, nobody is entitled to another person's love, attention or affection.
To those who are currently in a situation like this on the receiving end: walk away, cease contact, break it off. People don't change overnight. Even after years it can still linger on, buried deep in the mind. And ultimately it's personal responsibility to face your demons and do something about it, don't get guilted into becoming the pillar of stability for another person to hang on to. The best thing you can do for the both of you is walk away.
DogsBeforeDudes- reply
That I’m in debt because my business is struggling (clients are struggling too so paying bills late) they think I’ve lost so much weight because I’m dieting when in reality it’s because I can’t afford food. Any money I get in I buy my dogs food so he never goes hungry. He always has a full belly and that’s the only thing that matters. .
Silver_Foxx reply
I make my living owning and running a small business that designs and sells custom plushies and apparel.
My family thinks I make my money crocheting, and I do make a few bucks here and there from my yarn work, but the absolute vast majority of my income comes from the custom made latex fetishwear and kink gear I produce.
adamcarrollmusic reply
Tl;dr I had a brain injury and I'm not the same. I wish I didn't know.
I wish I could forget the fact that I'm different from who I used to be. After receiving a brain injury in February 2020 I have both forgotten and relearned many things (even how to read).
I've recovered massively, but many of my old passions have become frustrating to me. I struggle reading maths, code, dense text etc. whereas I used to enjoy leading projects with friends and teaching others about Maths and Science. Although frustrating, I enjoy challenging myself to relearn these things and aim to return to my past skill level.
The real scary part is that I've fundamentally changed as a person. If I remember back to before the accident it's a different person to me. He (me?) acts in ways so alien to me that I feel I so sure never would have acted. Nothing to be ashamed of, they just weren't me. Very real relationships that I still feel strongly in my heart link to memories that feel completely fake to me, as though I'm watching some kind of movie. I even doubt their accuracy.
A person I considered a father figure and close friend passed away just before my accident and I spent my time in rehab not able to properly mourne. Sometimes I'd forget he'd passed away and other times I'd feel like an imposter for inheriting such important items from him. To me it's like I'm tarnishing his legacy. I know he wouldn't think that, but I want to be the old me again, since I can't - I wish I could at least forget that I've forgotten and changed so much.
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