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don'tcensorstupidstuff
Community Member
2 posts
120 comments
366 upvotes
445 points
This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
don'tcensorstupidstuff • upvoted 25 items 1 year ago
When The Weight Of The World Feels Like Too Much, Let This Chunky Hero Be The One To Tug On Your Stress Strings And Knit Your Cares Away
Catch The Express To Espresso Town, Even When You're On The Freeway – Thank The Coffee Gods For This Portable Espresso Machine, Fueling Your Wanderlust One Cup At A Time!
People-Share-Funniest-Jokes
Two nuns are riding their bicycles around the backstreets of Rome. One nun looks over at the other and says, “You know, I’ve never come this way before.” The other nun replies, “Must be the cobblestones.”
People-Share-Funniest-Jokes
Two old ladies are sitting at a bus stop, smoking. It begins to rain, and one old lady pulls out a condom, stretches it out, snips the tipoff, and puts it over her cigarette so she can smoke without her cigarette getting damp. The other old lady thinks that it is a nifty trick and asks her what she put over her cigarette. The lady replies that it is a condom and that you can buy it at a pharmacy. The 2nd old lady thanks her and makes a note to pick one up when she gets her prescription filled later that week. Sure enough, a few days later she enters the pharmacy, goes up to the young man working the counter, and says “Young man, I would like to buy a condom please”. The young man is taken aback by her advanced age, and replies “Wow. Good for you! No one has ever asked me for help with that before… um. What size do you need?” The old woman pauses, then replies “I need one that will fit a camel”.
People-Share-Funniest-Jokes
A guy walks into a bar carrying a paper bag. He sits down, orders a drink and puts his bag on the bar. The bartender says, “What do you have in the bag?” The guy reaches into the bag and pulls out a tiny piano, a piano stool and a tiny man. The little man jumps on the piano stool and begins playing. The bartender says, “That’s pretty cool. Where did you get that?” The guy reaches into the bag again and pulls out a brass lamp. He says, “This is a magic lamp. If you rub it a genie will come out and grant you one wish.” The bartender rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie comes out and asks the bartender what he would like to wish for. The bartender says, “I want a million bucks.” A few minutes later a duck walks into the bar followed by more and more ducks. Pretty soon the bar is overrun with ducks. The bartender says, “Hay, is this genie hard of hearing? I didn’t ask for a million ducks; I asked for a million bucks.” The guy says, “Ha, ha. Do you think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?”
Show All 25 Upvotes
don'tcensorstupidstuff • commented on 15 posts 1 year ago
Show All 15 Comments
don'tcensorstupidstuff • submitted 2 new posts 1 year ago
don'tcensorstupidstuff • submitted 5 list additions 1 year ago
don'tcensorstupidstuff • commented on 20 posts 1 year ago
don'tcensorstupidstuff • upvoted 20 items 1 year ago
Catch The Express To Espresso Town, Even When You're On The Freeway – Thank The Coffee Gods For This Portable Espresso Machine, Fueling Your Wanderlust One Cup At A Time!
When The Weight Of The World Feels Like Too Much, Let This Chunky Hero Be The One To Tug On Your Stress Strings And Knit Your Cares Away
People-Share-Funniest-Jokes
A guy walks into a bar carrying a paper bag. He sits down, orders a drink and puts his bag on the bar. The bartender says, “What do you have in the bag?” The guy reaches into the bag and pulls out a tiny piano, a piano stool and a tiny man. The little man jumps on the piano stool and begins playing. The bartender says, “That’s pretty cool. Where did you get that?” The guy reaches into the bag again and pulls out a brass lamp. He says, “This is a magic lamp. If you rub it a genie will come out and grant you one wish.” The bartender rubs the lamp and sure enough a genie comes out and asks the bartender what he would like to wish for. The bartender says, “I want a million bucks.” A few minutes later a duck walks into the bar followed by more and more ducks. Pretty soon the bar is overrun with ducks. The bartender says, “Hay, is this genie hard of hearing? I didn’t ask for a million ducks; I asked for a million bucks.” The guy says, “Ha, ha. Do you think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?”People-Share-Funniest-Jokes
Two nuns are riding their bicycles around the backstreets of Rome. One nun looks over at the other and says, “You know, I’ve never come this way before.” The other nun replies, “Must be the cobblestones.”People-Share-Funniest-Jokes
Two old ladies are sitting at a bus stop, smoking. It begins to rain, and one old lady pulls out a condom, stretches it out, snips the tipoff, and puts it over her cigarette so she can smoke without her cigarette getting damp. The other old lady thinks that it is a nifty trick and asks her what she put over her cigarette. The lady replies that it is a condom and that you can buy it at a pharmacy. The 2nd old lady thanks her and makes a note to pick one up when she gets her prescription filled later that week. Sure enough, a few days later she enters the pharmacy, goes up to the young man working the counter, and says “Young man, I would like to buy a condom please”. The young man is taken aback by her advanced age, and replies “Wow. Good for you! No one has ever asked me for help with that before… um. What size do you need?” The old woman pauses, then replies “I need one that will fit a camel”.
Secure All Seven Enchanting Harry Potter Tales In A Handsome Box, Because Your Bookshelf Is Begging For That Extra Touch Of Magic
The Unofficial Harry Potter Insults Handbook: Perfect For Shutting Down Any Muggle Who Rivals Malfoy In Annoyance Level
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