In the ER about 2am, he didn't speak English very well. Starts telling me about my CAT scan and the results of it. Me being half asleep, I stop him and him if they took me out of the bed and put me in a machine. He says yes. I said I'm 99% sure that wasn't me. He says "are you (name)?" I said no. He flips over the next page of his note pad, "Are you Skittlecar1?" I said yes. Ok good. You're having a heart attack.


Ended up with 5 stents and I'm all good now after some therapy.

I asked him what a long acronym "FUE" the ocular oncologist wrote meant, he tried to pronounce it, shrugged, and said "We'll just call it F****d Up Eye". It's been called that ever since.

During the same weird cancer episode, a neurologist said my brain was "unremarkable". I mean, he's right in so many ways, but I was delighted to hear it.