I asked him what a long acronym "FUE" the ocular oncologist wrote meant, he tried to pronounce it, shrugged, and said "We'll just call it F****d Up Eye". It's been called that ever since.

During the same weird cancer episode, a neurologist said my brain was "unremarkable". I mean, he's right in so many ways, but I was delighted to hear it.

In the ER about 2am, he didn't speak English very well. Starts telling me about my CAT scan and the results of it. Me being half asleep, I stop him and him if they took me out of the bed and put me in a machine. He says yes. I said I'm 99% sure that wasn't me. He says "are you (name)?" I said no. He flips over the next page of his note pad, "Are you Skittlecar1?" I said yes. Ok good. You're having a heart attack.


Ended up with 5 stents and I'm all good now after some therapy.

I saw a specialist following a serious arm injury. He looked me up and down, glancing at my pink and blonde hair, and muttered with an eyebrow raised, "Huh. That's an... interesting color."

This wouldn't be at all strange if his own hair wasn't BRIGHT BLUE.