Not a lawyer, but I am a former police officer and spent a lot of time in courtrooms.

One guy was on trial for a DUI, and he wanted the judge to know that the cop who arrested him was "just some punk kid". He insisted that he'd only had two bottles of wine and his lawyer keeps trying to get him to stop his stream of verbal diarrhea and he just keeps going

Eventually the judge says "I think you should take a moment to confer with your attorney" and the guy says "Don't interrupt me, I'm not a child!"

Judge smiled and leaned back and said "by all means, please continue". dudes attorney just looked like he was deflating.

Client was being sued and didn’t like the opposing counsel or the judge so he left the court a bunch of voicemails so profane that he was subject to a criminal contempt of court hearing.

NAL - my dad’s psychotic ex-girlfriend was trying to press bogus charges on my dad, in general trying to ruin his life and career. And his family - she attempted to make some things up about me, too. Had to go through interviews, detective’s office talks, APS visits. My dad and I filed protective orders. Her response to the POs, and I was afraid it would happen, was to vandalize a part of his property in a very gross and obscene way. She also went back to the detective to make another claim on me, saying I stole *her non-prescribed d***s*, so basically admitting she had illegal d***s. So she got a bit more than just protective orders against her; she had jail time, now, too. Good riddance!

Watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story!

A few beers and a barbeque to celebrate the birth of Santa. 🎅

me doing last minute xmas shopping. yayyyy!

My favorite Christmas tradition is sadly a faded memory.

In the golden years, I used to sit with my family and scroll through BoredPanda without content being hidden and the website trying to get me to buy premium like a mob of Jehovah's Witnesses on meth.

Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding on Christmas Day

The nerf war, no I will not elaborate but it is a neighborhood thing.

Watching Little Lord Fauntleroy and decorating the Christmas tree on the 23rd

I guess cooking together, opening up gifts together, and eating together