“What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?” (30 Answers)

“Revenge is a dish best served cold” is a phrase that might seem like it’s absolutely overused, but it absolutely fits the sort of mindset needed to pull off revenge effectively. Acting in momentary anger is a surefire way to just end up doing something dumb and ultimately counterproductive.
Someone asked “What kind of calculating, cold act did you commit?” and people shared their stories. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorite tales and be sure to share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below.

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"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I worked for a guy as a security guard for a DotCom company in 2000. He wouldn't pay overtime, demanded 60+ hour work weeks, and would call you in on your days off. I refused one time and he terminated me. I returned all my uniforms and he charged me $180 cleaning fees.

Out of a job, I talked to the building Facility manager about some of the shady s**t I saw him doing. He told me if I had my own security license and insurance he would terminate their contract and hire me. So that's what I did.

A few days later, I'm coming in the front door and security stops me. He tells me that I've been terminated and no longer allowed on the property. The building Facility Manager comes out and tells him I'm there on official business with them.

The following Monday, new contract in hand, I enter the front door of the property and relieved my former boss of his duties and escorted him off the property. I could see steam coming out of his ears. He was pissed.

FinzClortho , wirestock/Envato (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

168points

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Not-a-Clue (she/her) 4 months ago

Good for you!

48points

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"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I completely moved out when my now ex was on a fishing trip. Yes, I took my bed and my flatscreen that was in our bedroom. He came home late at night after driving 10 hours, to no bed. And most importantly, no more punching bag (me).

Realistic-Most-5751 , Sam Greenhalgh/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

161points

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SuperChicken 4 months ago

He can sleep with the fish - on the floor. If he even caught one.

56points

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"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) When i was leaving America to come home to Australia after finishing a 6 month overseas secondment, the other seconded who had been a back stabbing piece of s**t the entire time, was scheduled to fly back with me.

The night before our VERY early flight home, I took him out to drinks and got him wasted, checked into his flight, turned his phone alarm from AM to PM, put his phone on DND mode, and dropped him back at the hotel.

At 4am when in my cab to the airport, I casually called him about 60 times knowing he'd never see the calls, left him half a dozen voice emails, and took the most relaxing flight home.

Realitybytes_ , Lucas Andrade/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

133points

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Jeremy James 4 months ago

Now THIS one is impressive!

60points

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"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) School bully showed up my work once to turn in an application. It was a cool, higher paying job for teenagers. He asked me why I was there and I told him I worked there. His attitude changed and he begged me to put in a good word for him. I said “oh sure thing!” I walked in, went to my managers office and told him “so and so just applied. Please don’t hire him. He bullied myself and others relentlessly.” My manager crumpled up his app and threw it away.

HoneyNutJesse0s , Aidan Roof/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

125points

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justagirl 4 months ago

great manager!

67points

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"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) Once, when I worked in a very competitive office, I noticed that a co-worker always took credit for my ideas. So I started sending him fake and meaningless proposals while he saved the good ones to present directly to our boss. Before long, his reputation plummeted and I was promoted. It was a calculating act, but I felt it was the only way to ensure my work was recognized ☺.

Several-Draft2547 , RedCraig/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

122points

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Caryn C Crespo Premium 4 months ago

What's with The Hoff here?!

27points

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"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) Ex Fiancee cheated on me with her boss. I was devastated. I really thought she was the one. I also knew that the company had a zero tolerance policy against that type thing between anyone and their direct manager. Spent a couple months "working things out" with her, until I had all the proof I needed. Emailed his boss, all other managers, HR, and corporate every condemning screenshot I had. They both ended up fired and I still have no regrets. He knew we were engaged, and finally offered her a promotion to get her to sleep with him, and I had a copy of that screenshot too.

playinthedirt76 , Katie Salerno/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

113points

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Captive 4 months ago

Finally a good one

32points

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"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I had an order at a roofing company worth around £4500. They accidentally ordered me the wrong soffit bends with two pieces arriving broken. I asked could I do a simple swap for the correct parts in store. The sales guy looked at the cracked pvc pieces and said:

“What do you expect me to do with these? No chance I can take these back”

I asked the guy to look up my account and he confirmed my name, address, and the total amount I had on order.

“Yup that’s me, cancel the order please” - I said.

The sales guy started being frantic and a blubbering mess as I waved the piece of broken pvc like a wand and said goodbye.

TL:DR - douchebag refused to swap a £2.50 piece of broken plastic (at their fault might I add) and lost £4500 worth of business.

Goodgollygosh47 , Joe Loong/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

110points

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nicholas nolan 4 months ago

Garbage salesperson. Had it coming.

49points

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"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) Previous manager was a totally horrible person. I'll spare the details. She ran our team into the ground, then laid a bunch of us off, myself included, a year ago. Then she found another job 2 months later and left. I recently found out she started her own consulting company and announced it on a popular job social media site. What she failed to do was to secure the domain names and social media handles for the new business venture. I took every variation I could think of.
Get f****d!

Kayaklabguy , Edmond Dantès/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

105points

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Beth Wheeler 4 months ago

YES!!!

16points

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I ran a painting company in college and did a lot of work in my own neighborhood. After completing most of the job, the neighbor called me and refused to pay at all unless the price was dropped. I explained that the only person he would be hurting would be me as everyone else is still entitled to the money they worked for... The neighbor still demanded a price cut which resulted in me paying to do the job.

Shame he didn't get the color approved by the neighborhood HOA. One anonymous complaint later and the neighbor had to pay to repaint it.

Silky_Tissue , Luke Jones/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

101points

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Mike F 4 months ago

Double I hope.

35points

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#10

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) Wife and I are separated she was still signing in on my netflix account. I waited until she was up to a series finale of a show then signed out all devices and changed the password.

justafang , Stock Catalog/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

95points

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General Anaesthesia 4 months ago (edited)

This is a pleasant change from all the ex-boyfriends who got the same treatment on Reddit..

33points

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#11

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I had a narcissistic mom who made my life total hell. And my dad let it slip to me that it meant a lot to her for us to go shopping together for my prom dress. I had a part time job and spent months saving thr money to buy everything myself from a thift store. This was circa 1997 when that wasn't typically done. Dressed up and went alone, and it was her first taste of being eliminated from my life due to her endless painful emotional manipulations throughout my childhood.

1_art_please , Franklin Park Library/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

94points

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Anna Ekberg 4 months ago

This is taking care of your own mental health and cutting all contact with a narcissist that was making you feel bad. Good for you!

40points

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#12

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I was in stand up in the 80s and at a tryout at a famous SF comedy club I was heckled and harassed by a comic. Luckily Bobcat Goldthwaite came into the green room after and comforted me. But, 15 years later I’m a producer on a TV series and we’re casting for a recurring character. It was a big deal, a good paycheck and regular appearances on the show. I saw the comic’s name on the casting list for the next day. I told my bosses what he’d done to me and he was crossed off the list. This is why you shouldn’t f**k with people no matter where you are on the ladder. Be kind to those below you and help them, and be respectful of those above you. Because like me, you have no idea how much you or anyone else is capable of achieving. .

generic230 , Faruk Tokluoğlu/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

86points

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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 4 months ago

Good for Goldthwaite. I absolutely hate his take on comedy, but a difference in artistic vision doesn't make the man.

34points

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#13

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I had trashy loud redneck neighbors at a duplex who liked to let their dog s**t right next to my doorstep and not pick it up, one day my 4 year old son stepped in it and smeared it in the house. They were the upstairs duplex and I had the downstairs one with the backyard. Something in me snapped and I was just done with them.

I proceeded to gather my dogs pooper scooper, picked up ALL of the poop in my front (from their dog) and some from the back yard from my dog and promptly dropped it all on their front porch, with a note that said

"I see you are having some difficulty picking up after your dog and I thought I would help you out. You're welcome"

I then called the landlord and let him know that not only are they letting the dog s**t by my front door and not picking it up, the dog barked constantly, chewed up the blinds, and chewed up the carpet.

My landlord's reponse was...they have a dog?

Landlord dropped in and made them pay a pet deposit, and charged them a fee for replacing the carpet and the blinds. Cost was around $2,000.

I am someone who minds my own business and doesn't involve myself with others, and if they had simply walked another 30 or 40 feet to let their dog s**t elsewhere, I wouldn't have said anything. But trashy rednecks have no shame.

TheBigC87 , Chun-Hung Eric Cheng/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

80points

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Beth Wheeler 4 months ago

FAFO

13points

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#14

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) When my daughter was around 6 months old, nearing the end of the covid lockdowns, the worst neighbors moved above me. They would be partying until 3, 4, 5 in the morning. Blasting electronic music, chain smoking, obnoxiously drunk, etc.

Now, I had to get up at 6 am for work and obviously the ruckus kept myself and my baby up all night. Every night. I asked them a few times to please keep it down and explained the situation. It never worked. And then...one fateful day....I snapped.

I waited until about 1 or 2 hours after they'd gone to bed. Just in time for them to be hitting that nice, deep, drunken slumber. And then...I struck. As loud as I possibly good, I began blasting Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles."

But that wasnt all. Ooooohhhh no. The rage consumed me...and also probably hormones from all the breastfeeding. I needed to take it one step further.

So I grabbed a broom handle and began smacking the ceiling (this house was shoddy yall) all over. The bedroom. The bathroom. The kitchen. You get it.

At last I heard them waking. "Stop it!" They cried. "You dont like it when I do it, huh!?" I rebutted.

Everything fell silent. My hunger for revenge was satiated. We never spoke of the incident again. Anyways a month or two later some guy tried to break in and they came to help me so I'm glad they weren't the grudge holding type.

Mundane-Strawberry67 , MART PRODUCTION/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

78points

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SuperChicken 4 months ago (edited)

I would've played Lamb Chop's, "The Song That Doesn't End" blasting out loud in a loop. If that's not enough, the Barney song. Just because.

42points

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#15

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) This girl who bullied me mercilessly in sixth grade came into the Chinese restaurant where I worked a few years later and I crushed her fortune cookie when I put it in the bag.

manderifffic , hildgrim/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

70points

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Tobias Reaper 4 months ago

you monster

55points

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#16

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) It wasn't planned, but when the opportunity arose, I took it.

In middle school, I was texting my crush and shared something personal. They then turned around and used it against me in a cruel way. Fast forward to my early 20s. We ran into each other and he asked me out on a date. I shot him down for what he did right in front of his friends.

While it wasn't too harsh, it felt great lol.

spasamsd , Porapak Apichodilok/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

68points

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D. Pitbull 4 months ago

... ahh... the dream... if only...

2points

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#17

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I was brought in as a ringer for a masters swimming team between college seasons. I didn’t have much money, but they said it was cool as long as I worked to help people with their strokes and win at my events.

It worked, we took second in the state at the end of summer meet and the open water competition. The team dramatically improved.

After the season ended, I was planning to keep training with them for the last two weeks before school. The treasurer asked me for dues over the last few months… and the coach pressured me too. They both conveniently forgot our original deal after the team did so well.

So, I reached out to the state swimming leadership to tell them that I was getting benefits to swim. They DQ’d the team from the results. I also referred the IRS to audit the coach since he was being paid under the table for coaching and lessons. He got audited… maybe he shouldn’t have bragged about that.

ummswimmin , Rob Oo/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

67points

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nottheactualphoto 4 months ago

And for those wondering, DQ means Dairy Queen.

1point

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#18

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) A customer would come into my store and often deposited a candy bar wrapper into one of the shopping carts waiting in the entry like it was a garbage can. On many occasions he had told me how he was diabetic and only this specific errand for his wife so he could sneak his favorite candy bars. After he disappeared out of sight, I retrieved his garbage and waited. When I saw him approaching my register, I quickly dropped the wrapper in the shopping bag that I put the cans of dog food he was purchasing into. I hope he never looked in the bag and just went home and left it for his wife to put away so she would discover his sneaky snack. I do know it was several weeks before I saw him again.

Low-Stick6746 , Almas Baig/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

56points

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R.A. Haley 4 months ago (edited)

Cold, easy, and no risk to you. I love it!

8points

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#19

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I let my SIL plan an event after she had spent the last event complaining about everything. Never seen someone eat crow so hard.

Large-Signal-157 , RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

55points

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Luke Branwen 4 months ago

Eat crow? My linguist a$$ is intrigued. Is this, like, a commonly used idiom?

16points

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#20

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) When I was in the 5th grade, there was a kid who used to absolutely torment me. Not doing a full backstory but I was homeschooled prior to 5th grade and was a bit awkward. Anyway. He was terrible. And it wasn't just verbal, he would "pants" me often, punch me ("dead arm") give me "Indian burns" etc. Also weird s**t like getting his friends to pick me last in games in PE, and then mocking me for being last.

The last straw came when he and his friends grabbed me as I walked home from school and throwing me OVER A FENCE into a yard on the way home with a big dog. And yeah it did bite me.

Anyway this was the 80s so very "boys will be boys" from the adults in my life.

So. I plotted my revenge.

Whenever the bell rang after recess it was a huge mele of kids all running en masse full speed back to the classroom buildings. I made sure to be near him at the end of recess and when the bell rang I ran on the grass behind him. Waiting. Waiting for him to get to the blacktop.

As soon as he crossed onto the blacktop, I sped up, jumped, and came down right on his back with my knee driving him into the ground hard. HARD. It broke his arm, nose, busted both lips, and chipped one of his teeth.

I also skinned my (other) knee (not intentionally but it worked out well) and also asked for help. I went to the nurse, he went to the hospital, and "I'm sorry I tripped" was not questioned much. Kids fell down and got hurt during that big rush pretty often, which is what gave me the idea.

Idk if he knew I did it on purpose, but he never messed with me (or really even talked to me) ever again.

I did feel kind of bad as I didn't expect him to be injured that bad, but not too much. I did try to get adults to intervene more than once with no success. Law of the jungle, I guess.

I should add that in my adult life I'm absolutely the most nonviolent person you'd ever meet lol.

sp0rkah0lic , Vova Kras/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

55points

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T'Mar of Vulcan 4 months ago

My brother stabbed a bully with a pair of scissors in high school.

28points

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#21

Growing up I was heavily abused by my father, to the extent he tried to choke me to death when I was 15. In that moment I knew that if I fought back he would claim to the cops that I attacked him. He is a lying savant and still manipulated the situation so the cops thought I was being a petulant teen (they demanded I apologize to my father and 'never give them reason to come back'). He also painted me as the aggressor to my family so they all thought I was lying.

My father has a habit of skirting the law. Since I was in middle school I worked at his dental office. I've been keeping track of all the instances of tax fraud, labor law violations, fraudulent prescriptions, sending controled medication through the mail in a baggie (typical dad stuff), and more. I'm planning on reporting him.

The bastard tried to kill me and never saw justice. But he will.

EddiesCouch Report

Final score:

55points

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Erla Zwingle 4 months ago

I think this thread is about things you've already done, not what you plan to do. Anyway, hope it works out.

26points

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#22

There was a mean girl who bullied two of my good friends throughout high school. The three of them went to another school, so I’d met her but didn’t know her well at all.

I saw her a few years later working retail over uni winter break. She tried to greet me and talk about how we had friends in common (aka my friends she bullied for being “poor”). I acted like I didn’t know who she was and it really burned her. Her ego was such that ANYONE should remember her. I did, but pretended not to. Felt like the right kind of revenge for my friends.

_beeeees Report

Final score:

50points

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Erla Zwingle 4 months ago

This is a truly elegant move. Well done!

24points

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#23

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I played a Draw 4 on my child during their very first game of Uno. I did it when they went down to one.

You're gonna learn there's no allies in Uno, kiddo.

keelhaulrose , Nate Cull/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

45points

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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 4 months ago

This is classic! Uno is all!

4points

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#24

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I got a coworker fired. We worked in a residential care setting for children with special needs. She was not good at her job nor did she have the temperament to work with the special needs population. I didn’t like her, she didn’t like me (granted, she didn’t like a lot of people), and we had a few verbal run-ins while on the same shift. So the first time she did something that broke a rule I normally would’ve let slide with anyone else…I reported her. Turns out, others had also complained about her, but my supervisor said that my official report, being the first and only formal one, was the final straw. They fired her the next day. I hate the thought of anyone losing their job, and I felt icky about being a big part of the process, but honestly, she made her own bed. Still, I felt a level of personal satisfaction because I just didn’t like her, and that’s the coldest I’ve ever acted/felt towards someone. .

Square-Raspberry560 , Anastasia Nagibina/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

43points

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A James 4 months ago

Good for OP. Ultimately, she was protecting the kids.

22points

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#25

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) When I was a child I was beaten quite often. To get back at my dad, I’d boop his toothbrush on my b******e. So I’d get beaten, he’d brush his teeth with a hint of b******e.

Fit-Credit-2221 , HS You/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

39points

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Heffalump 4 months ago (edited)

Is the censored word 'backside?. Are we really censoring euphemisms now?

20points

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#26

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) Around 2013, my 6 year relationship ended abruptly after we sold the house and she locked up the profits we made. She was on my Sprint account back when you had the two year contracts on your phone and she had about 6 months left on her contract.
I called Sprint to cancel the contact and it was like $400 to end it 6 months earlier and after doing the math, it was cheaper to just pay the extra $50 for the next 6 months.
Her birthday is in October and at the end of September she said she was going to get her own line. I call Sprint and explain what's going on and the Sprint dude suggests I suspend her line, basically her phone number that she had for over 6 years contractually belonged to me.
On the early morning of her birthday, around 5 AM, I suspended her phone line. Her phone would be a paperweight and wouldn't even access WiFi for some reason. She woke up on her birthday with ZERO missed calls and ZERO texts wishing her a Happy Birthday. After a few hours I got a call from Sprint asking if I would release her phone number so she could attach it to her own new line.
NOPE!
She spent her birthday having to reach out to everyone telling them what happened. Happy birthday, dunce!

DavEnzoF1 , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

38points

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LittleWombat 4 months ago

She locked up the profits they made from the house sale. Small revenge in comparison.

12points

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#27

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) When I was 17, I worked at Pizza Hut and was allowed to bring home meals. Every so often my sister would call and ask for a personal pan. I would find new ways to hide jalapenos in it whenever she was being a b***h. She started getting good and would search for it. Some days I did nothing to it and she'd still take it apart to make sure there wasn't a jalepeno in it. At one point I hid it INSIDE the crust. Unless she tore it apart she'd never find it.

We were 2 years apart in age and she was a little a*****e in HS so it was my best version of revenge.

sexi_squidward , Alan Levine/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

37points

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Legendbird 4 months ago

Hahaha! The "not hiding one and making her rip the pizza apart" thing is genius!

28points

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#28

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) My boss had a reputation for smashing keyboards and mice when he would get mad. So I bought a cheap wireless mouse and plugged the dongle into the back of his PC where no one would ever see it. I could look across the hall and kind of see when he was using the mouse, and I would just nudge the cursor enough that it would feel like there was something glitching. I got him to break another mouse that week.

MadMelvin , Jonathan Assink/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

36points

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Don Sayers 4 months ago

At school we had a network app that allowed you to do that with the pupils when they were logged on, you could see their screen remotely and control everything so you could help them with what they were doing. On the other had if they were playing games, they would miss every shot.

18points

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#29

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) When I was in year 5 a bully used to follow me home to intimidate me. He did this for a couple days in a row. On the third day I hid some sticks under a tree on the way to school, and when he followed me there I hit him with the sticks.

Parker-Quink , Henry Burrows/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

36points

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Bubba Jones 4 months ago

Simple yet effective?

14points

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#30

Years ago in my old neighborhood, there was a horrible neighbor behind me. Total distance between our houses was roughly 50ft.

The husband travelled for work for months at a time. When he’d be back in town, he’d have a huge party every night until 3/4 am, regardless of the day of the week. He built a shed and converted it into a massive speakerbox for a huge sound system he had, and no amount of noise complaints would stop him. Cops would shut him down, he’d wait 20-30 minutes, then crank it back up.

He was drunk and loudly bragging one night about how he probably had the best stereo setup in the world for a private citizen, and boasted about spending over $20k on it from start to finish. I instantly knew I had to find a way to destroy it.

By pure chance, a few days later I learned about EMP devices. After reading up on them, to get one strong enough to fry the electronics it would cost me a little bit. I got a side job delivering pizzas at night and saved every tip until I could buy the one I wanted.

In early September, he had finally come home after being on the road for a while, and sure enough he threw a rowdy party. I waited until everyone had been drinking for a while, and once everyone was clear of the shed, I blasted that mfer. I don’t know what I was expecting, like not expecting an explosion or anything, but I expected something more than what happened. For a brief second, it sounded like loud feedback like when someone plugs a guitar into an amp that’s already on and cranked up. Just for a split second, then silence.

The rest of the night was spent with the guy drunk and confused, and repeatedly saying wtf? Eventually everyone left, and he spent several days trying to solve a problem that was impossible to solve.

It was hard to feel bad about it, because when I had politely talked to him about it a year prior about how my kids were little and had school, he didn’t give a s**t and told me to f**k off. Luckily, all the neighbors hated him and called the cops all the time, so his suspect list was a mile long.

Then the following year I definitely knew I had no reason to feel bad when I saw his mugshot on tv

[He murdered his mother and hid her body in his freezer.](https://www.websleuths.com/forums/threads/va-karen-capaccio-41-found-dead-in-freezer-virginia-beach-23-july-2004.27852/).

ThisCarSmellsFunny Report

Final score:

24points

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Legendbird 4 months ago

Hmmm... Not sure I believe it.

15points

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#31

My kid was in pre-k and took a liking to a few classmates. Summer breaks rolls around and 2 of the kids invited my kid to their birthday parties. We went to both, got the kids nice gifts, i offered to help the parents with anything at the parties, etc everything seems groovy. Later on, new school year starts (2 year pre-k program) it's my kid's turn for their party and we invite a few kids including the ones my kid got invited to, parents rsvp yes. Party day comes, *none* of them show. One (allegedly) had covid so not much to do about that but the other two didnt even have the decency to lie, they were no call no show. Trashy c**t move imo.

Fast forward to the end of the most recent school year, it's pre-k graduation. My spouse who has a *really* good f*****g job brings our kid to the graduation as I had a previous commitment and couldn't go. One of the c**t moms are there, who works in the same field as my spouse. She asks if my spouse's company is hiring, spouse says probably as theyre typically always hiring, kid's mom says she will send my spouse her resume. She sent the resume, my spouse immediately deleted it. My spouse said "f**k her, we went to her kid's party and she made our kid sad on their birthday."

My SO and I are on the brink of divorce, but that right there assured me that regardless of our relationship status, I have faith we'll be able to healthily co-parent.

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Final score:

17points

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Ace 4 months ago

Why do some people insist on using such very specific terminology rather than just giving the ages of the children involved? Bad enough when so many posts refer to kids as nth grade as if we're all supposed to know what that means, but pre-k? I mean, I can take a wild guess, but why?

8points

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#32

A former coworker was absolutely horrible to me. We work in a pretty niche industry.
I’ve been out of that company for years but same industry. He got laid off and applied at my job. he had the audacity to send me a note asking for a reference. I said ok and then made damn sure he didn’t get it.

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Final score:

15points

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Heffalump 4 months ago

Why would you say OK? I'd have come back with 'I've notified HR and the hiring manager of your intention to apply and that my experience with you is negative: you are a poor team player who delights in making those around you miserable. I'm frankly at a loss as to why you would ask me for a reference: are you really that unaware of the impact of your behaviour?'

7points

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#33

My ex boyfriend was cheating on me with a man. It wasn't the other man part. It was the cheating that miffed me the most, as he confessed in front of our entire gaming group and they all stopped talking to me.

The dumb m**o had the nerve to ask me to fix his resume for him so he could find a job.

I converted it so every single letter was in it's own table cell so it would be damn near impossible to edit, and in the footer wrote "I'm a cheater and I'm not trustworthy" in white.

He had a VERY hard time finding a job and had to live with mommy for several extra years.

I imagine his boyfriend (that he also cheated on) figured it out, because he messaged me several years after the fact that I was awful. I didn't need context >:).

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14points

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Kristal 4 months ago

Did they really censor 'm**o'?

8points

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#34

I broke up with my abusive partner right before a big vacation he had planned. I FINALLY realized I wasn't happy in the relationship, and I didn't want to waste money or time on a trip pretending everything was okay. It felt cold, but it was the right decision for my own well-being.

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Final score:

13points

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#35

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) Mum bought my sister and I two iceblocks as a treat for dessert. As I was putting them in the freezer I dropped one, which broke the top above the stick. It was agreed that this was my iceblock

After dinner comes, I go to get my broken ice block out of the freezer. My sister screeches! She believes I have taken the unbroken iceblock and left her the broken one. I tell her that it was mine but she wouldn’t believe me. She complains to mum who tells me just to swap it out. My sister took my ice block, and Lo and behold, it was broken. I enjoyed my rainbow paddlepop, and my victory. My sister enjoyed extra salt on hers because of the tears

The best part, the diabolical scheme required no action on my part. All it needed was for my sister to be the br*t that she is.

FallenSegull , Sarah-Rose/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

12points

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Kristal 4 months ago

Why are you censoring br@t!? What the heck?! That isn't even the slightest bit offensive!

10points

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#36

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) A kinda mid- level guy on my team/ shift who been there for years was supposed to be my mentor/ trainer.

He would constantly have mood swings, harass me, say how he hates everyone in my previous department, have fits (scream and cuss at the top of his lungs) and then eventually started talking about me and my family behind my back. He would joke that everyone on his shift should be fired except him because he does all the work. He’s the guy that would start rumors about everyone including our managers/ bosses. In was the worst experience of my entire career.
I knew no one would believe me (except 1 other person who witnessed it and was also newer) because he had already been there 10 years. He also did weird stuff that I’m not going to get into.

So I started taking notes and every time he did something like this with exact dates and times. Pretty much building my case.

After 1 year I send a very professional email to my 2 top managers in the department.

They opened a whole case and corroborated the story with other people in the department he had been harassing. He ended up getting suspended for a week and warned if anything like this happens again he will be terminated.

Before you ask, yes I tried talking to him 1-1 several times. I tried every Avenue before writing that email.

anon , Andres Idda Bianchi/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

11points

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Erla Zwingle 4 months ago

This sounds like a normal procedure, not cold revenge. But why did you take a whole year to build this case? Something seems off here.

3points

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#37

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I did inventory in the hotel meat freezer (im a chef).

EllapurnellEnjoyer , Conall/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

10points

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Sue User 4 months ago

It is a joke. The original Reddit question was about doing something cold and calculating.

12points

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#38

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) Had a coworker that would leave her spot frequently to “go to the bathroom” aka go for a smoke break. We work on a conveyor belt so I had to keep picking up her slack. If I didn’t, then the belt would jam up. She would leave several times in a single shift every day and always came back smelling like ciggy smoke. One day she left and then the boss of the managers walked down the aisles to inspect the belts. I told her that the person next to me went out the door and had been gone for a while, so the boss went to look for her. Coworker came back immediately and apparently tried to hide behind a semi trailer in the yard.

CaptainMarrow , Valeriia Miller/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

10points

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Legendbird 4 months ago

Not REALLY revenge, just not covering for an ar$e.

3points

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#39

Me and a friend catfished a girl (before that was a term…) who bullied us relentlessly. On ICQ. So like, 1998. And she bullied everyone - so we told…everyone. Small town. Small school. She bragged about her “cooler than the rest of you losers” online friends. Then she found out it was us. And that everyone knew. And that she’d said incredibly nasty things about everyone. She switched schools that week. How? You ask. A mutual friend (that she had also bullied) had moved to the city and she introduced the bully to her “cool new city friends” online. But no, it was just us.

Not proud of that. But I did it. 😐.

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Final score:

9points

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D. Pitbull 4 months ago

"Uh-oh!"

1point

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#40

In college, I was in a group with a guy who was being kind of a jerk to me. One day we were in kind of a study group and he got up to go to the bathroom. I saved what he'd been working on on his laptop and closed it, then opened a blank document and saved it as nearly the same thing ("biolgy paper" instead of "biology paper" or whatever), then sat back in my seat. When he came back I let him have about 45 seconds of pure panic before I couldn't take it, and told him what I'd done. He was a fan of pranks and liked to mess with his roommate, so he wasn't *too* mad at me. It felt good to stick it to him a bit. .

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Final score:

9points

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#41

I waged a "mail war" against a former boss.

Back in the days before the internet, Publisher's Clearing House would send out a BIG sheet of "stamps" that you could use to sign up for magazines. My boss *loved* magazines. So much so that he'd sign up for a dozen or so every time! He'd sign up for free cruises, vacation property, Time Shares, religious s**t like the Book of Mormon, and the WatchTower and all kinds of stuff. Why, one time he signed up for a super hardcore Gay BDSM magazine using a money order. He put his name on it correctly, but accidentally sent it to his neighbor's house. Twice!

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Final score:

8points

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Piwakawaka 4 months ago

How is this revenge?

2points

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#42

A gf left me for a dude that approached her while she was at work. They ended up traveling together in the states. I had a friend that knew the guy, and he was apparently legally married to someone else. I kept that information to myself for years while they supposedly enjoyed their relationship. Eventually she reaches out to, idk, let me know he was married for some reason. I said I knew all this time. She called me a devil lol.

Viendictive Report

Final score:

8points

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Laserleader 4 months ago (edited)

It wasn't your job to tell her. My dad's 2nd wife apparently doesn't know he was a convicted child molester and spent 15 years as a gay man (he forced his gayness down our throats when he divorced our mom, but lied and said it never happened when he met her) (we never had any issue with him being gay, but apparently he did). He died a few months ago and all I have ever wanted to do is tell her, but I won't unless she asks, and he never let her talk to me.

0points

#43

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I replaced the ice maker in my freezer. The new one still does not work. So much for cold calculations.

GenTsoWasNotChicken , Toms Baugis/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

7points

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Squirrel Chaser 4 months ago

What?

7points

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#44

I worked at a chicken place years ago, wings, tenders, and sandwiches made with tenders, pretty laid back place and there was a former worker who would come in and sometimes make his own food when he ordered. He paid for it and was still on good terms with the owner and just preferred to make it himself. One day he was back making his food and I dropped a couple wings on the floor, so, like any normal person, I threw them away and replaced them with fresh ones. He asked why I did that and said he used to always pick up food he dropped and served it. I told him that was f*****g gross and he just shrugged.

So, a month or so later he placed an order and was coming to pick it up, which meant I was making his food and not him. I am proud to say that all of his food touched the nasty a*s floor before going in the container.

humancanvas79 Report

Final score:

6points

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#45

We had some people with really undisciplined, idiot kids coming over for a holiday and my younger brother's friend was also coming to that holiday so my father and my brother wanted to move my play station from my room (I always lock it during that holiday) to the room where all the kids go to play. We started arguing. No way am I going to let any idiot's undisciplined kid destroy my PS4. (Mind you, I was not some child hating moron, If it were only my brother and his friend I would've alowed it, since they're nice kids).

Then I started arguing with them. At one point, they said: "Like you have a say in it". BOOM I burst into outrage inside, but I keep control and so the plan starts. It's important to say this argument happened 2-3 days before the holiday.

The Plan: I waited for them to fall asleep, I get up at 2AM and unplug PS4's HDMI and power cables, I store them into my backpack. Knowing that I may change my mind or that they may force me somehow to reveal cable's location, I took them to school and gave them to my friend for safekeeping.

I felt like an evil genius, I couldn't wait for them to ask where the cables are. That day my brother didn't even notice anything but he told me how I was right about not moving the PS4. I was like meh, I was hoping for a "Checkmate you little b***h" moment...

HarvesterOfSorrow_88 Report

Final score:

6points

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#46

When I caught my ex cheating (after making a record of it) I waited til she was on her way to work the next morning and sent a text using the pet name her and the other guy used. Waited about 5-10min and then sent "Yea. I know. As I'm sure you can guess we are no longer together." Wanted to give her a heart attack and ruin her whole day. Mission Accomplished.

Diagonaldog Report

Final score:

6points

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Papa 4 months ago

Am I the only one who was confused here?

3points

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#47

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) A long time ago I was in a relationship, engaged, to someone who suffered a psychotic break. Over the course of six months they stepped out of our reality and into their own. I tried to keep things together, eventually realized I couldn't. Noticed the bad days outweighing the good days.

I realized she needed treatment, and she was absolutely refusing it. She had a habit of calling the police over imagined slights and I knew it was a matter of time before they hauled her off. I'd seen her scream at a handful of doctors already. I knew that it was putting the relationship at risk, but her health was more important.

I was able to keep up a lie for a little over a month, about her getting access to medication at the hospital, in order to get her in a room with a doctor there. It took a few minutes for her to be certified and committed to the psych ward.

She was there for a few weeks. Diagnosed and medicated.

Shortly after being released she broke up with me. Understandably.

We don't talk. I hope she kept up with her medication.

shaidyn , SHVETS production/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

5points

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Tobias Reaper 4 months ago

this doesnt seem like revenge just getting a mentally ill person help they need

20points

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#48

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) I only took the trash out last night because I didn’t want my fiance to find the bag of the good lunch I had without him.

Healthy-Ship4798 , Alan Stanton/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

5points

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Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 4 months ago (edited)

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#49

I know a woman who's, to be blunt, heinous. She loves animals and that's more or less her only redeeming quality. I finally told her off a couple years ago, but prior to that she seemed to think we were friends and so asked me for advice regarding whether or not she should take a big personal risk. I told her yes, I thought it was a great idea for her to leave the state, move to Texas for law school, start a new life there and never come back.

And she did! But then she couldn't hack it and ended up moving back here anyway, but for about a year I was very pleased with myself.

MrPresident2020 Report

Final score:

5points

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penguin 4 months ago

This just sounds wrong, OP seems to be the a****le here

2points

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#50

I'm still acting out my revenge for the sorry a*s business owners who fired my wife and a few ladies that worked in her department. It was her first day back to work after us getting married. Long story but we sued them and they folded but that's not my revenge.. that was just to get back a portion of what the ladies deserved. No, my revenge is much more sinister.

Every once in a while, think 4-5 months or so, I drive by their house and throw a handful of roofing tacks in their gravel driveway. I've been doing this for over 10 years, and chances are, I will continue gifting them the occasional flat tire until the end of their miserable f*****g lives.

Edit: Y'all will probably think I'm full of s**t but these people live in a huge historic home with multiple driveways (yes, these rich f***s have a private drive) and I live a few blocks over from them. I confirm that they are still actively living there nearly every day as I pass the house on my way to and from work. As for collateral damage I would feel bad but try not to think about it. These people deserve far worse.

PassiveF1st Report

Final score:

5points

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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 4 months ago

At least they're not paying rent to live in OP's head.

12points

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#51

As a kid I unplugged the bouncy house house while children were inside of it, which I now realize is dangerous but it was funny when I like 6.

Feeling_likeaplant Report

Final score:

4points

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#52

"What Kind Of Calculating, Cold Act Did You Commit?" (30 Answers) Oh boy, this is gonna make quite a few people mad, but here goes:

One summer a friend and I went around lightly loosening all the water hose connections on houses in our neighborhood. So every time they turned on the water it would spray everywhere.

TwoSecondsToMidnight , Five Furlongs/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

3points

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Captive 4 months ago

That's no revenge, that's a childish prank

11points

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#53

When I worked at Bath and Body Works I decided I was sick of the low wages and s****y hours, so I stole a bottle of (expensive at the time -- $20) face lotion. Problem was, they checked our purses at the end of each shift, so I put on my criminal mastermind hat and stuck the bottle in the recycle bin when I took the cardboard out. After my shift, I drove to the back of the store and swindled my prized lotion.
Two days later it went on the big summer sale for 90% off.

Stepharious Report

Final score:

2points

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Papa 4 months ago

Stealing because you don't like the pay or hours is not revenge (or acceptable).

8points

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#54

My trashy paranoid schizophrenic neighbor thinks I hack his security cameras and "listen to him" and he is so convinced he put 3 cameras pointing directly into my backyard. These are not cameras that are slightly getting a little bit of my yard, they are literally directly pointing at only my yard. I spoke with the police who said if it's in an area like a yard that it's not illegal and I should put shades up. Since I have a big 10-12' gazebo we spent $6k having put in, I did take this advice and put curtains up. But what I also did was buy a $130 standing 30" shop fan from Harbor Freight to go back there as well. The fan blows the curtains in a way that constantly set his cameras off. So I started by running the fan here and there and that is divulged into putting the fan on an automatic timer that goes on at nighttime and shuts off during the day. Since he has extreme paranoia, this then evolved into me linking it to a motion sensor that I have pointed at his car so each time he moves his car (leaves) the fan also turns on constantly setting his cameras off as I know it would super freak him out. Since his cameras are solar, I can usually kill them by the morning time and he has to go out there every day and plug a big extension cord into them to get them charged up again. Just yesterday I left the fan on all day and the satisfaction of watching him angerly slam his ladder on the side of his house, climb up and rip his camera down because the battery is toast is very hilarious.

**edit typos**.

TeachShort3 Report

Final score:

1point

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Kyra Heiker 4 months ago

Fricking brilliant.

4points

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#55

Not me, but a close friend of mine was getting bullied by his older brother in high school. Eventually he had enough and started plotting revenge. Old bro was super proud of his good looks and particularly his hair, so my bud quietly spiked his hair spray... with hydrogen peroxide. It took several weeks for the guy to clue in, because he used so many other products I guess he didn't notice his spray stopped working. His hair bleached and went patchy and he started wearing hats and combing it straight back. Soon the hair started falling out and my buddy was worried about getting busted so he replaced it with normal hair spray, but the damage was done - his brother's hair never grew back and he was really prematurely bald. To this day, my pal lives in fear that his bro will somehow find out...

djburnoutb Report

Final score:

1point

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greenideas 4 months ago

Bullying leaves invisible scars, hydrogen peroxide leaves patches. This is what happens when the system doesn't protect victims.

4points

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#56

I cut in half the last part of cake at my job so I didn't have to clean the plate.

Joe_le_Borgne Report

Final score:

1point

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Captive 4 months ago

You are like those people who would leave 3 leaves of toilet paper to not replace it

4points

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What kind of calculating, cold act did you commit?

Crescent 3 4 months ago (edited)

When I was a law student, I was an intern at our County Prosecutor's Office. My sister was dating this guy who was an absolute loser. He was a jerk. He was rude, and he was always getting into trouble. I didn't want my sister with him, but she wouldn't leave him. One day I noticed that his name was on the docket for arraignment that day. He had been arrested for a relatively minor d**g charge. If we knew someone who was a defendant in a case, we were required to disclose that to the prosecutor, so I did. The prosecutor asked me what kind of guy he was, and I told him the truth - he was a jerk. He then asked me if I wanted him to "go easy" or "go hard" on the guy. I responded that I'd rather that he was out of my sister's life. The prosecutor said, "Got it." The guy ended up doing three years and never saw my sister again.

BringMeMyDragons 4 months ago

Landlord decided short notice to sell the house to friends when we had been told we could renew. Had planted a nice garden and put alot of work and money into it, asked the friends we knew if we'd be able to come by and pick the veggies, or at least come to the door and be given some, with them keeping what they wanted. We got a hard no, it's their garden now. Last night there, I mixed up bleach and vinegar in the watering can, and vengefully killed my babies. Got a text two weeks later with pictures asking what they could do to save the garden, they don't know what happened... Shrugged and told them I guess they just didn't have that green thumb like we did, they look lost. Told them they could try watering them with a sprinkler for at least two hours daily, as a sweet little last minute spike in their water bill 😈😈😈

Laserleader 4 months ago

I would have dug up the plants and taken them with me in pots. There's nobreason to leave them behind since the landlord probably used the garden you paid for as a selling point.

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Anywhere but Here 4 months ago

My ex was abusive as hell and one day I snapped and felt a darkness come over me. He would work away at fly-in camps for several weeks at a time; if you forgot something or needed something you didn’t bring, too bad. As he was getting ready to leave for work one time, I washed and folded his work laundry like the good little doormat I was, but before I packed his bag I took a tiny razor blade knife to each of his socks. It was completely unnoticeable when they were folded and probably even when he put them on, but surely each day ended with his toes sticking out of his socks. In a very labour-heavy, on-your-feet type job. I hope he was f*****g miserable.

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